Some times when researching the deeper meaning of dreams it's much like a blind person must experience a rose. At first I start off with the thorny part, that doesn't seem too appealing. Then when I continue to feel out out there is one velvety petal, and then another petal, and another each folding in upon the other...separate but eventually I start to envision the whole picture. I can appreciate each petal of information but each petal is incomplete without the next layer.
Sometimes when there is too much emotion attached it's hard to interpret a dream so when I look back a year or two years later I have a moment of amazement. I've been researching dreams for over twenty years. I've been working with them for that same amount of time. I've come across a lot of unexplained superstition when it comes to information people provide when interpreting dreams which I dismiss outright. If you get focused on the symbols too much you sometimes get stuck on interpreting those and don't have the context...you focus on the trees so much to where you don't see the forest. This is one of those dreams that I completely didn't understand when I first had the dream. This one is more real to me than some of the memories I have of the waking world. That said, two years later, and I found another layer that this dream provided. Since a lot of the answers I've had have been provided in dreams and then validated by other sources (a curious process I've noticed) I'm committed to sharing some of my more definitive dreams. Often when I had these dreams I didn't understand them, the symbols were complex and the emotional feeling was what stayed with me the most. Often, I receive information in dreams and it's not until I go back after than I see what they meant. Every morning I sit down and write the three or four dreams that I had during the course of the night. I don't try to interpret them. I just write down everything I can remember. I let the emotional charges wear off, then I go and interpret them. Sometimes when I go back my mind is blown and I see that it was a prediction (I had a dream of my doctors name at Kaiser (Palmer), for example, but my soul saw the trip to the hospital very differently then I saw it when I went through that experience). Hyper Reality For me there are dreams that seem more real than reality and I remember them better than I do some real life events. Some might think that this is some sort of psychological disorder. Yet, Eben Alexander, author of Proof Of Heaven, had a similar experience with his NDE which he calls Hyper Reality and he says that there is ample of research stating the same thing with other NDE's (I've only heard him talk on the Moore Show). In the Kevin Todeschi Book, Dream Interpretation (and more!) Made Easy, he explains much the same thing with dreams. The next post will be a Book Review of Dream Interpretation (and more!) Made Easy. A lot of people remember their dreams in detail more than they do some mundane event they didn't attribute a lot of attention to in their waking life. Dreams, according to Edgar Cacyes A.R.E. are the realm of spirit so it makes sense that like an NDE a strong message from spirit would take this form. The Dream At first Ross and I were at the mouth of a tunnel. The tunnel looked dark and scary. I was a reporter sent out to discover and reach a very difficult community.I was to report back what I found. We had torches that we carried as we entered the tunnel. There was a third person, a male, that started off with us on the journey. There was a river running through the center of the tunnel. There were also thick masses of spiders. Some of the spiders were the size of small dogs. The third person chickened out and went back to the opening. Ross continued on with me and we came to a remote Mountain Top. To the left there were all of the indulgences in unlimited supply that the material world has to offer. There were big factories producing food and slurpees. Every delight you might have when it comes to food was offered on the left. Ross went that way. To the right was a temple grown over with ivy that looked ancient and primarily Hindu. I went into the temple and the people there greeted me. I studied and learned how to levitate in meditation. I became pregnant but I don't remember giving birth. I bathed in a shower of blue cleansing water after the pregnancy. I was then told that I would have to go back and report to everyone else 'out there' what I had experienced- those who were not on this remote Mountain Top. I had to report to the people who couldn't or wouldn't come to this place because of the risks associated with it. I was sad to leave but felt that the wisdom that I had gained was worth the journey. That was the end of the dream. This And That One of the things that I have learned about all messages from spirit and all dreams is that they can have a multi-faceted function. There are clearly applicable meanings in our daily lives, sometimes predictions of the events that will happen the next day, and sometimes a broader deeper spiritual message. When I'm deeper in a dream state I know that it will have many more meanings. There are three levels to any one dream that I have...sometimes I go to a specific level and sometimes I have simultaneous dreams on three levels (I know, that was a big revelation for me!). Events At The Time I had this dream in 2014 when I was very lost and didn't want to live anymore. My husband didn't understand why I was returning to my spiritual search which I had suspended upon meeting him. After all, I had one of my deep searches answered when I met him. Of course, to reach that point I had found wholeness within myself. I had undergone a deep spiritual transformation before meeting Ross and that's what created the room for him to enter into my life. I have written a blog abut why he is so perfect for me that I will post soon (I have about twelve written...when you're stuck on bed rest for a couple of weeks that's what happens). I was searching for meaning in my life and Spirit, as always, sent me the answer when I, "Knocked." I didn't get it at the time. I was too emotional and that's why sometimes it's easier to have your dream interpreted by someone else. You just have to be open to their ideas and not take it personally. Dreams are best interpreted by the dreamer, because some symbols are unique (as opposed to archetypes) but emotions and personal attachment to the outcome/meaning can make it a bit hard to decipher meanings. Often Spirit, through dreams, shines a light on the parts of us we don't want to see..the parts of us who have not been integrated...the disowned aspects of the Victim, the Inner Critic, etc. That's when it's hard to look at a dream with clarity. Meaning #1 The easiest way to interpret a dream per Todeschi's book is to identify the story and boil it down to a couple of lines. Here, it would be a journey (which might represent an event), a parting of paths with Ross regarding what we choose to pursue, valuable knowledge gained by me, a pregnancy, purification, and then a return. The Journey and the tunnel could be a "rite of passage" could be the death of Lilith-Ann, the parting with Ross is obvious as I was pursuing my spiritual ideas and he was not...the valuable knowledge, purification and conception (At that time) remained all events in the future as I felt very lost at the time. So, first and foremost this dream gave me a very valuable answer to a question I asked. Why doesn't Ross have a need to explore the spiritual? Why doesn't he want to share all of the interesting information that I am discovering? The answer is very simple. He chose to study the material world (this could go deeper but I won't). Most people choose that path...to fully experience and study the material experiences of this world. I have no judgement of that at all...it is just what happened. Ross is a skeptic. He has chosen not to disbelieve in God nor believe in God. He finished his spiritual pursuit in College (hiss, hiss, boo). He came to a conclusion that works for him and sees not value in revisiting the subject. You see, that Mountain Top place is Earth. Once here, Ross chose material experiences and I chose to explore the spiritual. A very simple truth. Meaning #2 The dream as a metaphor for life. The remote community is Earth. The Cave could be a birth canal and not everyone is willing to come to Earth (shown by the guy who was scared) or complete the Spiritual Journey. I was sent by Source and the Greater spiritual community to come to Earth as a Reporter so that I might report back to the Source about what is happening here. I can't say that this works for everyone but John Van Auken's books and Edgar Cacye sure seem to support that idea. Also, make note that in Jewish tradition there are visitors sent to report on the state of Israel (Edgar Cacye said in a reading: "This is the meaning, this should be the understanding to all: Those that SEEK are Israel. 'Think not to call thyselves the promise in Abraham. Know ye not that the Lord is able to raise up Children of Abraham from the very stones?' So Abraham means 'Call'; so Israel means those who seek. Spiritual Breakthrough by John Van Auken). At the end of life we must return back to the Source. In this case, in my dream the rest of the Cosmos was far more vast than this remote mountain top sanctuary. Earth is just a remote tip to the ice berg that is live in the 'multiverse.' Meaning #3 A Prediction of my Life Most of the dream was Archetypical in nature...that is what Carl Jung would call Universal Symbols of the Collective Unconscious. By choosing to enter the Temple I experience four events. These four events are things that I will achieve or experience while on this planet as a result of my daughters death (I was searching for meaning in why Spirit had allowed me to experience the death of my daughter). Sometime after experiencing these four events I am told I cannot stay and that I must return home to share my report with the rest of creation. I see this as I will not remain in Samsara- that is in the Cycle of Death and Rebirth that so many who are addicted to material realm are stuck. As all four are abstract I did not have knowledge at the time of the dream to interpret them. 1. Learning to Levitate Through Meditation: This is a personal symbol. To me this suggests that I will attain enlightenment. What is enlightenment? There in itself is an essay I could write and a paradox not easily answered. Let's just say obtaining certain knowledge...so that I do what many believe is impossible on a spiritual level. There is magic in the process, but it is an internal psychological practical process. I can say that I have achieved this one to some degree. I have met my Higher Self (a goal some Buddhist monks never attain). I will explain further in another blog where I revisit that subject (I have covered this in a previous blog much earlier in my spiritual path when I wasn't able to put it into context...I just knew it was exciting and that I had achieved something rare). 2. A Pregnancy: Don't go thinking this is about having kids (I mistakenly thought this at first). This is a spiritual pregnancy and rebirth of myself (hence why I never saw a child). Not the baptism of water that we pass off as the spiritual rebirth but something a lot more complex. This rebirth occurs on the spiritual or soul level- not in the physical material realm at all (although the material realm will be affected by it!). A baptism by the fire of Spirit. Being reborn in Spirit requires that you integrate all of those disowned parts of yourself. This is a long process and often takes many lifetimes. I have achieved this and I will visit this topic in the future but here is a often over looked and not understood quote from the bible: "I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with holy spirit and fire." Matthew 3:11 A Kundalini awakening involves bringing the "fire" from the base of the spine up through the the 7 chakra's and reconnecting with spirit. The inevitable effect of this is a baptism of fire. This is where I am inclusive and I state that Jesus, or Yeshua if you prefer as I do, was aware of and teaching Eastern mystic ideas (after all, at the very least he studied in Egypt). My Kundalini experience was very unintentional...powerful and probably what lead me to go off the deep end. As Joseph Campbell says, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims in delight." 3. Purification: The phoenix is the symbol that really represents this stage to me. This is part of the rebirth...the baptism in fire from which we rise up from the ashes of the lives we had in the form of a bird (a powerful archetypal symbol, I might add, that I will explore in a future blog). We hit these stages of death and rebirth several times throughout our life. I've had my identity torn down and had to built it back up...the difference in this latest event with Lilith-Ann is I never built myself up again...I refused to label or define myself in any way in the material world. I stopped narrating my life story or as the Buddhist's call it, "Naming activity." In the dream I was bathing in this blue liquid that was like Windex. What does Windex do when you clean a window or a mirror? It gives you clarity. Hence I gain spiritual clarity through this cleansing experience. Departure: Them I'm told I cannot stay at the Mountain Top. I have to go home. At first I had assumed that this dream was an adventure in spirit. That I had gone "elsewhere" to obtain mystical knowledge in the dream. I knew as soon as I had this dream that it was a powerful message from spirit. But I was so stuck in my earthly material left brain way of thinking that I couldn't conceive what it meant at the time. Plus I didn't have the conscious knowledge to understand the deeper archetypal meaning of this dream. What I have realized since is that the end was Death to the Material Realm. I remember looking out over the vast civilization that started at the base of this mountain. I couldn't see an end to that civilization. This little mountain top community was so small but contained such powerful knowledge. I knew that I would be taking the information that I gained here back to the greater spiritual community...to the souls not brave enough to try their hand at the perils of this world. Conclusion Even at the time, when I didn't understand the dream, I found great comfort in this dream. I knew that it was special. There was just that feeling to it that I couldn't ignore...that there was a deep mystery in it and much meaning I could not decipher. I couldn't understand it at the time. Yet, my research has made it clear this is how it works. The soul journeys here for experiences and then reports back to the Source. Often here, on the material plane of existence we tend to think this is all there is but in that dream it made our little existence here look like a speck of dust that few souls want to experience. Those who choose to come here are very brave because they have to pass through that darkness. What is interesting is that in what I have seen Eben Alexander describes that realm of darkness in between this level of existence and another level of existence. (There seems to be four distinct layers he witness, the earth worm view, the dark layer, the layer where he describes 'angels' and the layer where source seems to exist). Edgar Cacye also reported on a dark layer that he passes through to reach the Akashic record. In Journey of Souls by Michael Netwon it's explained that we often pass through a tunnel to reach 'the other side' and that without help many couldn't do it on their own (in my Past Life session I learned that I knew the way home and did not require a guide to return home). The tunnel might be a way of guiding souls through those different layers that Eben Alexander experienced perhaps through song and harmonics. On an interesting note, only advanced souls are supposed to know the way home without assistance. I am not sure what to think of that. I've been told I am old soul and yet a new soul. I think the way to solve this paradox is that I'm an older soul but new to earth. Some people might call this a Starseed or Wanderer. I don't really care about the label or where I came from but it does make sense. So, right there I have three validations as to the nature of that cave that I had in my dream. Thanks for taking the time to read this analysis and I hope you learned something. To me it was a profound revelation that occurred during the Dark Night of the Soul.
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āAs I have done in previous years I want to look at movies that I plan on seeing this year. Last year was quite the year for movies and I saw a lot in theater. Surprisingly, this looks like it's going to be a slow year. Even more surprising is that some of the movies I intend to see don't even have trailers out yet. I wonder if this signals a change in movie marketing.
There were 12 movies I was looking forward to last year. This year there are four movies I look forward to and four movies that I might see. There are more movies I will definitely choose not to watch. This year there are just too many sequels and not anything that's original. I get that franchises have taken over but...wow. Here is the small list of Movies I will definitely go to the theater to see this year: 1. Logan In March (just like Deadpool) the movie I'm most looking forward to is going to come out. One of my favorite charecters of all time has been Wolverine. So far, that franchise has been disappointing to say the least. I'm hopeful that Hugh Jackman, who made the first three X-Men palatable, will redeem the character in film. So far it has the most potential for movies slated for this year.
ā2. Ghost In A Shell
Although the main character is white washed I do love Scarlette Johnason. If it was anyone else but her I might not go see the movie just to protest that the main character not being true to the source material. The movie looks amazing and I just hope that it sticks to the parts of the Anime I like which I have always had a love/hate relationship with.
ā3. Thor Ragnarok
With no trailer I'm not sure how this one is going to be...but it's one of my favorite mythical stories. The Thor franchise really missed the mark in the second Thor movie but I'm hoping they will redeem themselves. We know, from the comic series and from the Norse legend what Ragnarok is...the end of a cycle that culminates with death and rebirth of the Gods. 4. Star Wars Episode Eight : The Last Jedi Again, there is no trailer for this movie. I have no idea what the content might be but I am looking forward to watching the continuation of Rey's story. As Episode 7 became my all time favorite Star Wars movie I'm curious to see where the story will go and with the title now out it's clear that Luke is the last Jedi. Will his fate be sealed in this movie...will he pass the torch of the Jedi to Rey in time to regain balance in the universe? Movies I Might See ā1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2: I loved the first movie. Based on how fast they put this one out I'm worried about the substance in this one. I will probably go see this because my husband really wants to see it but I want to see what people think before we go. I think it will be hard for them to match or be better than the previous movie. For me this seems a lot like the last Star Trek movie. I think it will be a fun romp but nothing new and innovative compared to the first movie. Yet, I was surprised by the first movie so it's possible I will be surprised once again.
ā2. The Mummy
It looks intriguing even if it's a bit of a worn out story and I can't quite see them entering new territory. That Tom Cruise signed up for it suggests it has a good plot. Yet, because of the tired story line it really depends on the Rotten Tomato review if I go to see it.
3. The Dark Tower
I love the series by Stephen King. Yet, the casting choices, in my opinion, have changed the context of the story. I always saw it as a psychological thriller with Jake as the Gunslingers inner child, The Gunslinger the smaller self (ego) and the Magician The Higher Self. Plus, they are smashing 8 books into one movie. Seriously? I doubt my favorite scenes (three random doors leading to different realities on a beach and Blaine The Killer Train) will make it into the film. Heck, not a lot is going to make it into the film. The final book was very symbolic and very esoteric. I will see what the critics and the first viewers say about it before I'll go see it. I just worry that the movie will be more of a political statement then about inner battle of the main character that appealed to me so much.
ā4. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
This one I'm on the fence about. I love the legend of King Arthur (Mists of Avalon being my favorite version, book form not television special) but the last few have been disappointing. This one seems to be a totally new take on it...but appears to be a lot of action/fighting and not much plot based on the trailer. I'll watch the reviews and decide to go.
āMovies I Plan On Renting
1. Underworld Blood Wars Selene is one of my favorite charecters. Underworld had such potential to really bring a bad ass female to the screen that had it all...then they tied her down to a guy in the first movie. Then in the second she had a daughter. Both are gone in this third installment, it appears. The second movie was okay. Hence why I'm not going to see a third in theater. I might if it has good ratings, consider it but it's unlikely.
ā2. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
This series has gone on too long. The last movie was pure and total garbage. This one, based on the ending where the three character's were on top of the white house with weapons surrounded by zombies....yeah I'll pass. Alice was never really bogged down by a romantic interest or a child of her own but at some point she ceased to have any qualities that make her human. There has to be a balance and I'll be happy to see that tortured character's story end.
ā3. The Space Between Us
I hate love stories. I know, I know, that sounds terrible. I just find most love stories too shallow. I "tune in" to characters in movies too easily and if it's a sad movie there is a good chance I will cry. Even if the character is fake I hate seeing suffering. That said this movie looks like it's an original one and for that I give it major kudos.
āNotable Movies I Won't See
1. Wonder Woman While intriguing I have heard rumors that it's plagued by a poor plot. I do like the main actresses and actor in the film. Depending on reviews it may be a rental but DC won't trick me into going to see one of their movies in a theater again. I've never been a huge fan of Wonder Woman (Supergirl being my favorite female character of all time in the DC universe and she has a really good television show) but I love strong female characters on the screen. 2. Justice League Again, DC has just dropped the ball and I won't spend the money to see their movies. After Batman vs Superman I have no faith that this movie will be good. Another rental. I don't like Ben Affleck as Batman. I don't like how my two favorite super Hero's from the DC universe are depicted. So this franchise is over for me. 3. Spider Man: Homecoming Spidey was nice in Civil War. That movie didn't exactly live up to expectations, however, and I'm just sick of Spider Man movies. For me, this is definitely a rental. 4. Transformers 5: The Last Knight Just nope. I only saw four because it was free and that was poorly written. I can't believe they are on movie five. Again, the trailer looks interesting. Anthony Hopkins doing a voice over explaining two worlds are colliding metal and flesh. Almost makes me want to go see it...but it ain't happening. 5. Beauty and The Beast Belle resonated with me on such a peresonal level as a kid. The problem is I'm not excited about Disney making their really big sellers into live action movies without re-imagining the story. Seems like such a cheap rip off when the original animated version is something you can watch a million times without being bored. The live action won't have that same replay value and will eventually become dated. Emma Watson just doesn't look right as Belle. While it looks like it will be a beautiful movie it seems to be an exact copy of the Disney original...so nope. Why pay to see a story told the same exact way as it's been told before? 6. Fate Of The Furious I can't remember any of the movies after the first one. Apparently, there have been 7...and this is number 8. Wow. With Charlize Theron and Jason Statham joining Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel and the rest of the team...I mean it's tempting to see this movie. Fast and Furious is starting to look like the Expendables with a who's who's cast of regulars. Still, I probably won't go see this film in theaters. Other Movies 1. Alien Covenant- I've decided not to see this one because I don't like horror movies. My husband, Ross, and my best friends husband, Joe, will be going to see this together. I'm sure I'll hear about it. Notable Mentions: Another Kong movie, a Power Rangers movie (never did like them even as a kid), another Rings movie (puke), another Pirates movie (who is still going to see these?), Return of Xander Cage (eh, rental maybe. I love Vin Diesel but the first movie just wasn't all that great), Fifty Shades Darker (nope), Valerian the City of a Thousand Planets (the acting is terrible in the trailer, seriously?), and A Cure for Wellness (eh). Conclusion That said, these are the movies that I am looking forward to and I find it curious that there really isn't much I'm willing to see this year. So far, there doesn't seem to be anything innovative on the level of Passengers or Deadpool. Even out of the four movies I really want to see two of them are simply based on the fact that they are franchise movies. I have no idea what their content will be once I sit down to watch them. So in reality...I went from wanting to see 12 movies last year to wanting to see 2 based on their trailers. That's a bit amazing. Most movies coming out this year are "sure fire bets." They are franchise movies with their fan bases do not originate in the theaters but from source material be it Anime, Books, Old Horror Films from before I was born, television series, toys or Comic Books. There is one science fiction movie that looks somewhat original, The Space Between Us. I am horrified by the lack of originality. I must note that Star Wars and Fast and Furious are both on movie Number 8. Although, Star Wars could be arguably on 9 (because of Rogue One) but that is amazing. I remember when movies struggled to get past that magic number 3. Have you ever seen The Never Ending Story? I feel like we are reaching that point in our world...a lack of originality as the font of creativity drys up like fall leaves on the eve of winter. Year Ahead As in years before I realize the movies I am attracted to...suggests a theme for the year or at least my current psychological terrain (not much difference there). This isn't a theme for everyone. With any sort of predictive system be it runes, or others...you attract things based on where you are at in your life. I have applied this to the Collective Unconscious in the past. I'm backing away from that and saying in my own personal reality based on what I'm attracted to this is what I see: 1. Coming To An End Wolverine, Resident Evil, and Underworld. Some of my favorite franchisees are coming to an end. Although I only want to see one of them it says a lot. We will see the final chapters this year. In Ragnarok and The Dark Tower a Grand Cycle of Time will come to completion. 2. The Last This ties into the above category a little bit. Star Wars just announced the name of Star Wars Episode 8...The Last Jedi. For Transformers, it's the Last Knight. Remarkably similar names and themes. We could say the same for the character of Wolverine, as he is the last X-Men (until he meets his clone), Selene is the last of something since she is being hunted for her blood and Alice, well Alice will probably be the last of humanity (if you could call that character human). 3. Time Okay, okay this one is a bit of stretch. Time has been a fascinating part of what I have been attracting when it comes to entertainment. Dr. Who, Jupiter Ascending, Alice Through the Look Glass, Miss Peregrines School For Unusual Children...there are more examples but these come to the surface as ones that stopped me in my tracks. This year, there are three movies that mention time in their trailer: Logan, Beauty and the Beast, and The Space Between Us. Both Wolverine and Beauty and the Beast are about beasts who are 'running out of time' (Wolverine is often called an animal, and Beast is a...beast). The third is a boy who is born on Mars who is dying when he comes to Earth. Thor Ragnarok and the Dark Tower are going to involve CYCLES of time. (Spoilers) In Norse mythology Ragnarok is the end of the world. All of the events are already seen and it's known how it's going to go down but the God's don't seem to plan for it either way. In the Marvel Comics it is a cycle where all of the God's die the same way every time and then are reborn without the knowledge to prevent it from happening again. This movie, I am guessing, Thor and Loki team up and actually thwart this cycle from happening. Ending a Grand Cycle. The Dark Tower is reflective of Ragnarok. (Spoilers) When Rowland confronts the Man In Black in the Dark Tower... all of it is set into motion again. Will the cycle be broken in this 'retelling'? I don't know, we shall see! 4. Girl Power to the Max. I should have seen this before but it wasn't until I was reading through this a third time (I was on the phone with my mom when I first posted this although I wrote the bulk of this last week so I made a few typos). Boy oh boy do we have girl power in the theaters this year. With women marches (I won't say rights marches because I feel I have all of the same rights as the men so that falls short) warning Trump to stay in his place...this is clearly a year of Feminine Power. Out of the 8 movies I chose to share trailers (ha, synchronicity) seven of them have female charecter's in main roles). I know there are more than that this year but wow. What Does It Mean? Based on what I am attracted to in the movies as things are now... this year represents a breaking of patterns on a pretty epic level...on not just a 'cycle' level but a "Grand Cycle" level! (Sounds about all the talk that our universe completed a Grand Cycle back in 2012 this sums it up a bit http://www.2012-spiritual-growth-prophecies.com/great-cycle.html). What the the top four/five may mean. I can't say because most of them don't have trailers. I can say that it is in all four/five there are soul searching quests for the ultimate answers. Which isn't surprising as that is something I have been studying for some time. Yet, as I said with Ragnarok in the time section...there is the hint of this quest coming to a conclusion. I might bump The Dark Tower to make it the 5th movie I want to see...until I see an actual trailer...I'm not sure. So, that would be three movies without trailers...a big huge question mark for most of the year. Also, completely bizarre. Will something happen in June or July? Well, two major events (one my birthday) will happen at that time in my life so possibly...beyond that I can't really see my future, I admit, it gets fuzzy for me. So, weird coincidence there. The creepy thing is that of the 4/5 movies I want to see this year three of them don't have trailers out and that starts in June/July. So part of the year is completely a blank slate..and there are major events that will determine the course of my life that will occur during that time. This bears out, the idea of a grand cycle of completion occurring this year around the summer time, with another dream I had. Where I was on a Disneyland ride and went,"Oh, I remember this part, and I remember this part too." An old lady looked at me amazement (she was part of the ride) and said, "You do?" and then she handed me change (the realm of Spirit is so Punny). In the dream I looked down and I saw that my fellow riders were riding the same pattern all the way down into infinity. I didn't realize that because I didn't recognize why she gave me money in the dream, especially all in coins, until I told my husband, "The weird thing is she gave me change." Then we both looked at each other and I had a "doh!" moment. In the dream analysis that will be my next posts...the dream suggests that I will attain Enlightenment sometime before I die. Is this the year I gain some of those answers? I feel I have a good handle on them... I'm not quite there yet but this year has only just begun.
Given peoples current emotional fallout from the election of Trump I've decided to do something that's just fun. After all, part of being enlightened requires lightening up. Right now everyone is taking things just too seriously.
So lets have some fun. āFeel free to disagree with me! One of the things that I will remember 2016 for is some of some memorable movies. There were a lot of movies I was interested in going to see. This doesn't normally happen. There were a few movies that were absolute flops and some that were surprises and some where the potential was there but they didn't live up to expectation. I am not a professional movie viewer and this is just my own selfish personal opinion...but it's fun to write this so enjoy. As you can see from what movies I'm drawn to I like movies that are just fun. Most of the films that I watch are not nominated for Academy Awards. The Movies I Loved 1. Deadpool In my opinion was the best movie of the year. The writing was brilliant. The opening scene was mesmerizing. There was not a dull moment. Although, the first time I watched it I felt as though I needed to take a shower...it has an endearing quality to it and remains one of my favorite movies to watch. The satire is some of the best I have seen in years. I doubt that sequels, which will happen due to the wild success of the movie will be as good because they might not try as hard. Yet, this is a movie that is already in my collection and I have watched many many times when in need of a good laugh. This is my go to movie when I'm taking life a little too seriously...all of us need to be a little bit more like Deadpool (aside from the killing people part, obviously).
2. Passengers
This came out of nowhere. I saw it as an ad in a different movie (I can't remember which one). Again, really well written and brilliant on many levels. The ending with the tree of knowledge, the brilliant way that it captures the human spirit and the human story...on a metaphorical level brilliant and on the literal level brilliant. I will probably do an in depth review of this movie. This one wasn't even on my radar. Ninety-Five percent of the reason I decided to see it was because of Jennifer Lawrence and Christ Pratt. They proved in this movie that they are phenomenal at acting and they have the best charisma as a couple. Plus I love science fiction. A great movie I intend to buy and watch several times. This is one of the few love stories I can tolerate.
3. Doctor Strange
I admit it could have been better but they had to start a little slow with this subject. A beautifully shot film with a bit of comedy. This wasn't the movie I was expecting but it was amazing to see so many metaphysical concepts put on the main screen and explored. The take on the whole magic thing is something that I'd expect someone to write in the 1930's but the character was a product of the 1960's when the East and West did not understand each other so it's not a huge surprise. Definitely a movie that I will be buying and I'm super excited where they go with this franchise.
Movies That Were Okay
1. Captain America Civil War: This movie was okay. I can't really complain about it but I can't say that it was fantastic. Yes, it had some brilliant moments. Did it quite live up to the hype? Not really. Winter Soldier remains the best movie from this franchise but it was fun to watch. 2. Rogue One Yes, it pains me to say that it was just okay. I wasn't expecting much out of this movie to start with and it was good. There was just something missing from Rogue One, despite having great charecter's, that I can't really identify. Something about the plot just wasn't developed. I only watched it once so I can't put my finger on it but the movie experience was a bit shallow. I do admire that they decided to show a darker side of the Resistance and I would like to see them develop and delve a bit more into that but...if I take it out of the Star Wars context it's a passable movie. 3. Star Trek Beyond This movie was really good but it wasn't as good as the first two. This movie was on the same level that a normal episode of Star Trek: Next Generation or Star Trek:Voyager. While good it wasn't fantastic or thought provoking like the first two films. This was just a fun frolic with our favorite charecters and an albino alien. 4. Zootopia Every now and then I like to see a well written children's movie. Although probably one of the better children's movies to come out in a while it wasn't something I would care to watch more than once. Again, a generic plot but it was entertaining. Not So Great But Watchable There were a few of these this year. They sounded good but they weren't that fantastic. 1. X-Men Apocalypse I read the reviews. I saw what people said. I went to see it anyways. I thought it was a good movie. Unfortunately, the plot is too similar with Magneato being the bad guy yet again although teaming up with another bad guy. There were parts that were really good...and I enjoy watching the film but it had nothing new to offer. 2. Suicide Squad Harlequin and Deadshot are what made this movie good. The rest really didn't fit in very well. This has to be the best movie DC has so far for their new universe. That said, I hated the way they portrayed the Joker. The plot was the biggest problem. As many suspected there were just too many character's and the story relied too much on exposition. The Harlequin character has a future if they can figure out a good story that really portrays the psychological part of that character that is *SO* redeeming and human. Absolutely Terrible Movies 1. Batman Vs. Superman By far the worst super hero movie to have ever come out. The plot was terrible. Visually stunning with no substance. Very disappointing. Amy Adams was absolutely terrible. Whoever wrote the script failed. The directer is fantastic at showing architecture and terrible at instructing his actors. 2. Alice: Through The Looking Glass While I didn't mind this one so much the movie completely missed its mark with it's target audience. The plot (thankfully) is antiquated. They threw in character's for nostalgia which made it feel like a cartoon. This was by far Anne Hathaway's worst performance to date. 3. The Jungle Book Terrible. Just terrible. I thought it would be good but I didn't like this one at all. I was bored halfway through the movie. The visuals were dazzling but the story telling was just really tortured. They left out everything I loved that was in the cartoon and it missed a heartwarming meaning or even a moral to the story. Movies I Haven't Seen There are a couple of movies I still wish to see. Most of the above I saw in theater. 1. Arrival At the top of list is a movie that my hard science loving, analytical and science fiction loving husband desperately wants to see. I refuse to go to the theater to see it because I am completely sick of Amy Adams and the movie looks like a obtuse version of Independence Day. 2. Moana Disney's latest offering just didn't look interesting enough for me to pay the money to go see it. On a slower year when there were less movies competing for my money I probably would have seen it. I look forward to seeing it at home. 3. Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children This movie looks intriguing. I did not like the book but the trailer is enough to prompt me to suspend my dislike of the source material. The main reason I did not go see it in theaters is because I didn't like the book. Tim Burton's films are always visually stunning and the plot looks inventive. His focus on Time with this and Alice Through The Looking Glass, which he produced but did not direct...is a curious thing. Conclusion So, that was the year of 2016 in movies as I see it. There were a lot of movies this year that had potential. A few excellent movies that will be timeless treasures in my collection. There were a lot of big disappointments this year. I must mention the horrible attempt at Ghostbusters and Independence Day. Sorry, but I had no intention of ruining those classic movies by seeing the latest updates. I have no intent of ever watching either of these movies. Some movies should never be re-done and some should never have sequels. Final Thoughts We have seen the rise of the anti-heroes this year and we now have an Anti-Politician in office. The usual people failed to produce this year...so a different more quirky breed has stepped up to the challenge completely destroying peoples paradigms and waking them up on a massive scale. Strangely, for me, much like a tarot card reading my top three movies reflect the year that I had. Luckily, in all three movies there was a tongue in cheek sense of humor to the serious questions. In all three movies a terrible tragedy befalls that main character's, through introspection they come to see the universe from a different perspective and despite seemingly all odds they rose above their situation to create something awesome. Often, when we think that our lives are over...that the worst possible thing that can happen has happened...we find that the sun rises the next day. From the shattered ruins of our old paradigm we can create something even more wonderful than we could have imagined. We absolutely must remember our sense of humor. May this be the lesson the world now learns. ā
Alice Through The Looking Glass
This is not a movie I expected to review. Unlike Jupiter Ascending I didn't really think of the spiritual metaphorical content of Alice in Wonderland. Perhaps it was because of a childhood memories. I never liked the animated movie because it seemed like such a terrible nightmare. Alice in Wonderland was never a character I liked and I have never and have no intention on ever reading the books. That said, upon watching Alice Through The Looking Glass I realized something deep and meaningful. At first, I couldn't give it words but now I can really perceive it and it is a movement that I did not realize had occurred within humanity. It is not the writers fault that this movie flopped so terribly but a change in perception that has occurred within humanity that has perhaps not been named. I didn't realize that it occurred until I was trying to figure out why this movie didn't work for most people. I understood the message that it conveyed, I've seen it a thousand times and most poignantly in the movie Return To Oz but I was really puzzled as to why the Millennial's who were such fans of the first movie didn't understand the second. The First Movie I must admit I was not a huge fan of the first movie. I didn't find it mind blowing in any way shape or form. The moral was that Alice, who was supposed to commit to an arranged marriage undergoes an experience that gives her the ability to say, "No." The message of the first movie was a terrific one for the latest generation and many say the movie has defined this generation. They say it is the movie of the Millennials. If this is true than the message of the millennials is non-compliance. The insistence is to be individuals and not convert to Group Think based on social expectations. This, in the past, was equated with being "Mad" or "Crazy." To not do as society demanded often led to people being cast out of their societies and death so it is not a pleasant association. (At the time, when I first watched this movie I didn't make the association with the story of Inanna and her descent into the Underworld. There is definitely a feeling of that in the original movie but that may be a future blog. I just wanted to note here that movies such as Wizard of Oz and Alice In Wonderland were always interchangeable to me when I was a child. I often got those two confused and while both are considered coming of age stories...they might be echoes of a much older story that humanity has been telling for antiquity. On a side note as well Hatter clearly represents a different way of thinking than what had occurred to Alice before, a way of framing and putting things into context, but that too is destined for a blog on the original movie.) The best and defining line of Alice was the one where the Mad Hatter asks if he is mad and she says all of the best people are...
āThe Plot Of The Second Movie
I was, based on friends who were fans of the original expecting a nonsensical move. Instead, the plot was a bit weak but it definitely made sense. I find this reassuring, because this movie straddles a point of view that might well be completely out dated but I will get to that thought later. Alice has become captain of her fathers ship the Wonder. With it she's done the impossible including escaping pirates against all odds. She comes home to discover that her mother, again, is in financial difficulty. Her trip that was supposed to take a year has taken three years. Her mother has signed over the house to Alice's ex-fiancee. Alice's ex-fiancee will let her mother keep the house if she will sell the Wonder to him and become a clerk. For a girl as strong willed and wild in Spirit as Alice this is equal to a death sentence. This is when the blue butterfly arrives and she follows him into Wonderland for another journey inward of self-discovery. The Hatter had come across a hat that he made as a child. He thought it was thrown away. He thought that if he had found that hat and that the hat had survived despite all odds his family might have as well. The different characters that served a purpose in the first movie- the talking dog, the other members of the tea party, the Tweedles, and the Cheshire cat are all included in this movie in awkward scenes. If these character's had simply been removed the entire movie would have been way better. In order to save Hatter Alice has to go back in time and potentially save his family. Only she can do it because if any of the others go they will see themselves and break time. Alice then goes into a clock where she must steal the Chronospher from Time. The Chronosophere is what runs the great clock, and the great clock is Time...they are one and the same. The Queen of Hearts has been dating Time, Alice discovers, and appears to want the Chronosphere as well. Alice then steals the Chrnosphere, a spherical contraption that has the instruments of a boat to control it. Goes into the past and discovers the back story of how the Queen of Hearts got such a big head. What is strange is that the plot is so completely different from what the teaser trailer had made it appear. Yes, Alice travels through the Sea of Time, a really confusing and never explained part of the movie, to witness the past and find the truth about Hatter's family. I won't go into how Hatters family doesn't make any sense at all, either, because unlike Hatter they appear completely human.
Thoughts
Many of the side characters, including the Cheshire cat, had absolutely no place in this movie. Forcing them to be included in this movie made it feel very cartoony. I had expected the movie to be far worse based on what other people had said. The movie was bad, I have to admit, and it really didn't fit the teaser trailer at all but it did have a plot. Yet, I think that it is, at long last, the reason for the disconnect with the audience of the previous movie. Worse yet, there was no reason to care about the characters in the movie. The Queen of Hearts, it turns out, had very shallow and stupid reasons to become so evil. She was one of the main characters, perhaps even the main character in this film, but they did a sloppy job of telling her story. In fact, I don't even remember what happened to her at the end because it really didn't matter. They could have done done so much more with that character. That said it was very interesting to personify Time. There were a few scenes that were full of metaphorical fun. However, just like the Queen of Hearts they did a sloppy job with him. He was probably the most interesting character but very little time (haha!) was devoted to him and his character was not developed on any level. The movie had a lot of potential but it fumbled all of the opportunity. Instead, the character interactions that made the first movie great were completely missing. The plot is essentially the same as the first movie but less interesting and with less character development. There were a lot of avenues that the story could have gone down that would have been more fulfilling and satisfying to movie goers. Watching it I felt as though someone had conceived a brilliant idea but failed to flesh out the details completely and relied on easy "feels" referring to the previous movie to make the audience happy. There could have been some deep spiritual pondering but it stuck to a shallow rehash of the first movie adding absolutely nothing to the character of Alice. To sum up the plot here is an inexact line Alice says to Time just before she leaves, "I have always thought Time was a thief. Now I realize that you give and then you take away." Appreciation, I suppose, for what we have is what Alice learns in this movie but it doesn't quite make sense. I found the idea of the Hatter dying because no one believed his family was alive to be one of the most disappointing aspects of the story. Those scenes were simply poorly done with the meaning conveyed so obtusely it could be easily missed. No doubt, the Hatter symbolizes the part of Alice that was dying when it came to the decision she had to make in the real world...again, it is a slippery metaphorical layer to the movie not easily grasped. Meditations On The Time Character I find it reassuring so many did not really perceive the message of this story. The story is an old one dressed up with new graphics and it really didn't have much innovation. The plot of this movie was something I would expect to be written in the 1800's when we thought of the universe as more of a mechanical system. These days, we realize that the cosmos is much more fluid and not so linear. To me, that this movie was rejected suggests a lot more people believe in life after death than ever before. The stop watches being closed and then moved to another room is no longer an apparent metaphor for death in our society. The message that Time is not a thief but something that gives very graciously to us is also something I don't think resonates with most people. Hence, why so many didn't really "get" the message of this story. This too, is reassuring because it says that people don't feel as bound by time as they once did nor do they see life as a brief gift that is 'given' and then 'taken away.' The Time character was a God-Like character, watching unbiased over life and death, existing outside of time and space. This abstract idea, the Hidden God in the Kabbalah system, is not exactly known to society. Given that time is usually associated with the not so pleasant God Saturn I found this personification even more fascinating. Again, I'm glad that this character didn't really resonate with people because it does not, at the core of my being, resonate with me. A cold, cruel, impartial dictator in charge of our Destiny is just wrong. This movie had the feel of something written in the 1800's that just doesn't quite "get" this New Age. Further, the idea that "Time" can be broken if we go backward and forwards in it is also changing in the public perception. The idea of parallel realities, thanks to Quantum computing confirming there are such things, and that time is more of a spiral or cyclical in nature makes it...a little bit more wibbly wobbly instead of a fixed linear straight line. This again, shows a disconnect from the writer who is approaching all of this from the 1800's fixed point of God and Time with the current audience. In fact, it calls to mind that most of Academia represents the 1800's point of view of a Mechanical linear Universe. As a whole humanity is starting to perceive the Cosmos as more of a living fluid ocean of consciousness instead of a Grandfather Clock. When will Academia and Hollywood catch up to this more fluid perspective that humanity has embraced? When will they realize that the old mechanical universe idea has been completely dismissed, that it is an idea over two hundred years old, and that humanity has moved on? No one uses a stop watch anymore. The ideas in this movie are just as antiquated as that time piece that Alice gives to Time. The hands of time have gone digital...if you're going to update Timeless Classics, Hollywood, it is time that you completely update them to the New Age or you're not going to connect with your audience. Conclusion This was one of those movies when I saw the trailer I looked at 2016 and knew it was a year where a major decision was going to be made. I still believe that we can get a feel for the pulse of the Unconscious Collective by looking at what movies are coming out and, in particular, trailers. I find that it absolutely true that it did convey the proper message. If we had gone with Hilary Clinton, and I will stand by this statement, it would have led to Nuclear War. Time was running out for humanity to decide if they wanted to be annihilated on a Collective Unconscious level. When this trailer came out in 2014 I would never have guessed Clinton would make the statements she did about Russia in the debates. I would never guess that there was a sergeant in the U.N. that would later be ousted as trying to incite a war with Russia for financial trade reasons. All of that came out this year and it is what put the nail in Clinton's coffin. I find it really interesting that the trailer was misleading about the movie's contents. Perhaps, they knew they had a turd in their hands and were trying to make it appear to have a better plot than it did. The trailer is far better than the movie. Yet, at the same time this movie is important as it does indicate that society has moved on from the linear fixed Mechanical Universe point of view that never made sense. To me, this is a wonderful realization because it shows that we really have moved into a new age of reasoning and perceiving the world. There are still old tatters and bits of the way we used to look at things but it has changed dramatically from the 1800's. We are more aware of the system that we live in and how mankind cannot make a bastardization of that natural Order or System. As a Collective I think that's what we are examining now...and what movies like Jurassic Park have hinted. Are we going to continue to force our will on this planet and the Cosmos? Are we going to replace animals and our own bodies with machines? Are we going to continue to defy the Natural Order or are we going to find our place in Harmony with it? I think that the latter has already been chosen on a higher level of existence (the template level) but that is a subject worthy of an entire meditation blog right there. As a group we have not made the decision on a conscious level of existence. Often, as a collective unconsciousness we like to explore the other option completely and fully before we make our choice. We will, as a group, examine what want we don't want in detail before we really see this new point of view kick in. This blog is going to be a little different. As I'm going in for surgery to remove the septum from my uterus I thought I would provide some information for my friends and family about the phenomenon. Hopefully, women who have the same problem will find some comfort and direction in what I'm going to provide. Maybe if more people hear my story the rare people that have these conditions will hear about this and will have a resource to go to for advice. Bicornuate and Septate uterus are rare enough that there are only personal testimonials of it on YouTube. There are few websites explaining the difference between the two conditions or the complications they might cause. Most information that can be found online are in pregnancy forums. A Bicornuate and a Septate uterus are rare. They are called paramesonephric duct abnormalities. They occur at a rate of .1-.5% of the population. .1-5%. So that equates to anywhere from seven million throughout the world (of of 7 billion people) to two hundred and eighty million world wide. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicornuate_uterus) First Diagnosis At first, I was diagnosed with a Bicornuate Uterus. This was back in 2005 when my doctor Ellen Fraiser did a D & C because of excessive bleeding. The lining of my uterus had become really thick and was not sloughing away as it should. At the time she said that it might lead to pregnancy complications. The Bicornuate Uterus is sometimes referred to as a Birth Defect or a mutation. The cause is unknown. A Bicornunate has two horns at the top and it has a separation or a septum in the middle so that the uterus is effectively split in half. One side of the uterus might purge it's lining per month and the other half might not. Women with a bicornuate uterus might have experienced their period while pregnant because half of their womb is, technically, not pregnant. A bicornuate uterus can not be operated on because there is muscle between the two chambers. Muscle cannot be removed from the uterus. Here is a picture of a drawing of a normal uterus and a bicornuate. The difference is obvious. Septated Uterus A septated Uterus is similar to a bicornuate uterus. The key difference is that a septated uterus doesn't consist of muscle. Instead, the septated uterus simply has a wall that passes through the uterus. This Septum, much like your nose has a septum dividing it into two nostrils, can be removed in a surgical procedure. The tissue is similar to the part on the bottom of your ear where it is easily pierced. I went through multiple tests to determine if my uterus was septated. The first was a test where they injected ink into my uterus called a Hysterosalpingogram. The procedure was not fun and I think it was an unnecessary risk. I would urge anyone going for diagnosis to go straight to an MRI and skip this procedure. There is a slight risk that they could, accidentally, perforate the uterus in the procedure leading to a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). Plus, the procedure is extremely unpleasant. I was sent for a full pelvis MRI. The technician also identified a septate uterus. The procedure was far less invasive and more conclusive than the Hysterosalpingogram. Dr. Richard J. Paulson at the Feritlity Department of USC confirmed conclusively after viewing the MRI and the Hysterosalpingogram with ultra sound images that it was a septate uterus. Dr. Paulson explained to me that the procedure to remove the septum should be simple. He also stated that there was only a slight risk of perforating the uterus. He explained that I might have something between the two (a hybrid) because they are rare and very slightly different. I've included a picture of a the ultrasound of my uterus here and I've highlighted the different areas in another picture. As you can see my Uterus does dip down a bit and appears to have two "horns" similar to the bicornuate which has been a cause of concern with the some doctors. This is why the first doctor I went to, an inexperienced private fertility specialist that has only had a practice for a few years, suggested that the surgery was not advisable.
Reason For Miscarriages I have had 7 miscarriages during my life time. Most of these (aside from a Blighted Ovum which was another case where I had a woefully inexperienced OBGYN) occurred within the first trimester. The fetus simply never formed. The problem is with a biconruate or a septate uterus is that if the embryo implants on the septum it cannot receive sustenance. The Septum does not have a lining like the rest of the uterus. So the pregnancy fails despite the fact that an egg was fertilized. Unfortunately, because the diagnosis is rare and inexperienced doctors are not familiar with the situation they don't want to commit to the idea that it is a bicornuate or septate uterus. Finding A Doctor The hardest part for me was finding doctors who were familiar enough with the subject that they understood the issue. I had to fight for two years and collect a folder of documentation to prove that I had a septate uterus to every doctor that I saw. The diagnosis is so rare that most inexperienced doctors won't even consider it to be a possibility and that is why I learned that documentation is so important. The first OBGYN's that I went to when I decided to have children on purpose (the others were mistakes) insisted that a normal pregnancy without surgery should be fine. When my daughter, Lilith-Ann as born prematurely, it took my young OBGYN by surprise. Lilith-Ann was partially implanted on the septum of my uterus which was a miracle and it was a high risk pregnancy. While I will never know the exact reason why I went into premature labor the septum did make the pregnancy High Risk. The OBGYN that I went to for Lilith-Ann subsequently assured me after her premature birth and subsequent horrifying death that it would be fine to try again without any procedures. When I had another first trimester miscarriage he brusquely informed me that I should seek surrogacy. He never mentioned the surgery option and he discharged me as a paitient. Beware of young OBGYN's if you have a bicornuate/septate uterus. Seek out doctors with decades of experience. I was lucky to find Dr. Kassar in Southern California who has many years of experience. He immediately referred me to Paulson at USC. Unfortunately, the information Dr. Kassar was operating on was slightly outdated. I then learned that a few years ago there were surgeons who broke away from the "fertility specialty" for the Septum Removal procedure. They are called "minimally invasive gynecological surgeons." Luckily, Dr. Paulson referred me to a the minimally invasive gynecological surgery center at Cedar Sinai hospital in Southern California. My experience with Cedar Sinai has been a very pleasant experience. Mathew Siedhoff will be the surgeon who will remove my septum. First they will go in with a camera to confirm that the septum can be safely removed. Then they will remove it and I will hopefully be discharged the same day. Luckily, the procedure is done in a hospital so if there are any complications I may be admitted. My Advice To Others If you've had more than two miscarriages and been diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus make sure that it is the case. The difference between a bicornuate and septate is very fine and there are hybrids of the two such as in my case. Find a doctor who has enough experience to understand what it means and have an MRI of your pelvis done to diagnosis it properly. Two miscarriages, according to some fertility specialists, is too many and you should be referred to a specialist then. If you do confirm that you have a Septate Uterus I think that the best idea is to have surgery. I've listed two doctors in Southern California that you can consult. Dr. Robert Paulson at USC and Dr. Matthew Siedhoff at Cedar Sinai. Although, I would go straight to Matthew Siedhoff at Cedar Sinai. Be prepared to bring documentation to speed up the process. Most Fertility Specialists really focus on the IVF treatments and not corrective surgeries. So, while they are some are knowledgeable about Septate Uterus's they probably won't do the procedure unless you are willing to pay out of pocket. Conclusion While the last two years has been a long hard learning curve I've learned a lot about my rare condition. I am hoping the surgery to remove the septum goes well, as I'm undergoing the procedure on Thursday. The goal of the surgery is to ensure that the embryo implants successfully increasing the odds of a successful pregnancy. While I may wish that I had stumbled over a blog such as this one to explain the situation earlier on and what to do I cannot change what I experienced. Hopefully, the valuable experience I have will lessen the burden and trials of another individual. I will update this blog later this year regarding the surgery experience and any developments that we might have as we try. According to Dr. Siedhoff my husband and I should be able to start trying to have kids three months after the surgery. If you so wish I would appreciate it if you keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week or offer a toast in hopes of a successful surgery. I picked up this book because I wanted to learn more about the Norse Gods. I was curious to see how modern practitioners viewed them and how they worshiped them. While Essential Asataru was very interesting and an excellent starting off point for my research it was not what I expected.
There is an anthropological aloofness to the work that I would expect from a skeptic. For example, with Loki she doesn't really explain him but mentions that he might be grouped in with commonly known trickster charecters such as Coyote. She doesn't seem to really know what voice she wanted to use when writing this book. Part of it feels like a sketch of charecetrs (regarding the God's and Goddesses) for a fantasy novel, other parts feel like a anthropological study guide for the practice and still others are mere statements of her outlook or opionon on the topic. Based on the book the reason Paxson worships the Norse Gods is because out of all of the God's she has worked with in the past they are, "the most willing to party." The book skims over many deep subjects such as cosmology and Ragnarok but doesn't go into the philosophical depths. One third of the book, disappointingly, is focused on the history of the people who worshiped Norse Gods. The focus is mostly on the Icelandic heritage. Iceland was important because their people were able to retain the most information and texts thanks to a treaty with the Christian rulers allowing them to continue practicing in their homes. Paxsons history of the Norse religion, however, is extremely brief and extraordinary biased against Christianity. She spends only a few small paragraphs per group and sometimes doesn't go into very much depth about why that group should be important to modern day Worshippers. Paxson clearly sees Christianity as a method to subdue the public and as such as a bane upon humanity. Paxson briefly goes into a description of the different God's and Goddesses. She briefly touches upon acenstor worship, land wights, jotnar (giant kin), and house spirits. She also breifly touches upon the nine worlds of the Norse relgion although she admits not much is known about them. The practice appears to be primarily focused on the communion of the practitioners gathering to celebrate feast days. The feel, from Paxson's description, is similar to what one would experience when visiting a Pirates Fair or Renaissance Feast with people playing and dressing for their roles. Asataru seems harmless. The Heathen Virtues she lists as a guideline are healthy attributes any person who wishes to contribute to humanity should practice. Independence is encouraged and she states that Asataru is not a "guru religion" which I respect. Unfortunately, based on this book Asataru appears to be a, "What can they do for us?" approach to the Norse Gods despite the claim that they are "friends of the God's" seeking a relationship with them. Perhaps, this is because there is no description of a daily practice but only holiday/feast days. That said, there is not much that can be expected from groups of people who are attempting to reconstruct a lost religion. Her descriptions did resonate with the dream that I had of Thor and Sif, Asgard and the Dwarves. Ultimately, it is that dream that leads me to study this subject as the only knowledge I had previously regarding the subject involved Marvel's take on the old Norse stories.
What Do I Hope To Accomplish?
There are a few ideas I had for this blog but as usual, this is a little deviation. I have made tremendous progress in my own understanding of myself, the 'cosmos' and God. Strangely, I have encountered those who make me question this pursuit. I am always willing to hear other peoples perspectives. However, there are some questions or challenges that I hear quite often. So I just want to lay out my personal philosophy, what compels me to continue to read and study religious and spiritual thought. Doesn't Matter One of the concepts that brought me the most peace recently is the idea that it doesn't really matter. None of it really matters. At the end of the day the all that matters is the experience. For all of my pursuit of esoteric thought and traditions...at the core of it there isn't a search for me anymore. I have found the simplest truths, at my core, are what matter the most. We can complicate this as much as we want, and indeed, there are a lot of really complicated systems of thoughts. I love studying these systems of thoughts but I can boil my own beliefs down to a very simple set of parameters. 1. That I am a reflection of source/all-that-is/the creator. In such a role to know God I must know myself. 2. We create our own personal subjective reality that is unique to us based on our experiences, personal history and belief. Reality is just as "Weebly Wobbly" as Dr. Who's perspective on time. 3. We are infinite spiritual beings having a human experience. 4. The purpose of the limiting human experience is so that we can learn faster about ourselves than if we always had a connection to god. 5. The body is a temple for my soul. Nourishing my body, taking care of my body, is a simple way to demonstrate an appreciation for that soul. As such, personal grooming, the way we eat and the physical acts that we participate in all reflect how I feel about myself. By taking care in these areas I show the reverence I have for my Higher Self and all of creation. 6. All that interact with is a matrix of energy that has been created so I may learn more about myself. The Source (God) is always flowing to me what I need exactly when I need it. This system works even if I am not conscious of it but when I am conscious of it I can tune my thinking so that I receive "better" reflections that serve my highest good. I have learned to trust this intangible system even if it doesn't match up with my stated desire. As they say, sometimes unanswered prayers are a blessing. 7. When apparent contradictions appear I can resolve them by examining the contradiction, naming the underlying belief that leads to that contradiction,and effectively releasing it by "naming it." This takes intense personal honesty and commitment. 8. We effect our reality by how we think. We can learn how to tame our minds and turn them into our Ally. There are many methods through which we can do this and once our mind is tamed we stop arguing with 'God' and start working with the creative forces. 9. The fact that my current beliefs bring me a sense of security, joyfulness, and peace is all that matters. That it might not be true for everyone else doesn't matter. That not everyone else experiences their reality this way does not matter. That it might not be in agreement with all other schools of religious/spiritual/philosophical schools of thought does not matter. 10. By living as a example of the peace and joy's this foundation can bring I am giving other people the option to choose the Path of Inner Knowing. This gives them the opportunity to learn what I have for themselves, in their own unique way, but does not insist on them taking that opportunity. 11. I have received answers to my biggest deepest questions. They might not matter to others and not reflect their truth but they matter to me. I have also witness many validations of my intuitive 'knowing.' A Response In a viral video I've seen a lot about an "Atheist takes down God" he suggests that God doesn't exist because Cancer exists. That god doesn't exist because children can get Cancer. Why would an all knowing all benevolent god create such a things? Why would he create the devil? Such an argument is infantile. Why did a mother allow her son to ride his bike if he has the potential of falling and scraping his knee? Because she knew he would survive it, because to deny him the ability to ride the bike based on a hypothetical would not be fair. The creation of the bike might be considered unfair because it allows for such a painful potential. Yet, the mother knows the child will heal and be wiser for the experience. Of course, this argument requires someone to believe there is an afterlife and that the soul does go on. If reincarnation exists then my rebuttal is all the more poignant. If we are here to learn more about ourselves, which is my deepest spiritual foundation concept, than all of the 'evil' int he world exists so that we may learn more about ourselves. Even further, we create the sickness or the problem so that we can learn from it. Yes, it is unpleasant but sometimes we don't learn what we don't like unless we find out it hurts us. That is the nature of learning, we fail, we hurt, but the sun still rises the next day. Yes, death is sad. If you don't believe that death is the end than...it's not so sad. It's just a stage of life much as turning twenty-one you can legally drink. It's a form of graduation from one level of existence to another and nothing more. This belief removes all fear of death. On the flip side, if there is nothing when you die than you are not suffering. Again, death is nothing to fear because either way it is a a release. Examination of a Dream I want to turn to a dream that I had which was fascinating. In the dream I was laying in bed in a house (not exactly like my current house) in a storage room full of dressers that belonged to my Grandma Emma and Grandma Alta. There were overflowing boxes of trinkets/keepsakes. I woke within the dream because of a beam of sunlight had pierced through the blinds and into my eyes. I looked up to a wall covered in poster similar to how my brothers childhood bedroom had been. As I was looking at them I knew, it wasn't so much a voice but a thought that contained a lot more of information than a thought, the idea, "The greatest folly is that people don't believe that Jesus and his mother Mary existed." Meanwhile I was making a sign with my hand which I was pretty sure I'd seen before in Hindu or Buddhist statues. When I physically woke up I looked to see if I was really making that sign but I wasn't. I immediately started to look for what the sign meant and was really amazed when I did. 1. Element one- the beam of light suggests a "transmission" or message from source. 2. A storage room- May represent the mind and unused knowledge that is being stored. 3. The hand sign- The Vitarka Mudra. This is a gesture that represents a compassionate transmission and discussion of the Buddhist Dharma. Dharma is essentially "teaching of the Buddha" but it is more than that. The Dharma is one of the three gems the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. What is the meaning? I'm not really sure. It seems to be a message of some sort from my higher self, that much is clear, yet at the same time the message that Jessus and his mother are real....that's interesting. That is something very much debated. Did Jesus and Mary Exist? I think it's possible they did just as the story tells. I personally believe that they did. Do I believe there story is a reflection of older ideas? Absolutely. In Journey of Souls LIfe Betwen Lives by Michael Newton souls practice their lives before coming into them. This is why we sometimes have de ja vu and know what route to take. Our soul practiced and practiced that moment in the life between lives so that it would be reflexive when that moment arrived. So it is possible that in spirit a soul decided to have a life that reflected the most esoteric teaching to be a living example and metaphor. It is possible that the events in our lives can directly reflect the oldest esoteric Egyptian teachings. Mary = Nieth (the virgin womb of creation) Jesus = Amma, Ra, Ptah (that which perceived itself in the womb of creation). So could that parallel be entirely on purpose? Could a soul choose to come into this life and so directly model itself on this old principal? Absolutely. If all of creation is a matrix of holographic energy as some scientists claim and I choose to believe (with the source being The Source not a computer, much as cognitive psychologists like to misidentify the mind/brain as a computer) than it's absolutely possible that a soul would choose to personify the system itself as a message/example to others that it does exist. So, regarding my inclusive path to spiritual/religious beliefs the story of Jesus and Mary just really solidifies that point of view. Perhaps it is 'too good' or 'too similar' to creation stories for others but it really just tells me that this is a message Spirit has been trying to get across to humanity for ages. Conclusion I titled this blog with this question, What do I hope to Accomplish? By sharing my own journey I hope to bring others comfort in their own similar path. I hope to reach even greater levels of inner peace, acceptance and understanding of others. I hope that by grounding the energy of my higher self in this world I help bring a brighter future to all of the inhabitants. By studying other more complex sets of beliefs and approaches I can have a greater understanding of others. I may also have a stronger arsenal of knowledge, perspectives and approaches to help aide others on their path. These are my humble goals. I seek no more than this as I have already and continue to experience my own validations through subtle and direct methods. I do not seek to convert anyone to any point of view...just to share as I continue to learn from others. There is an Edgar Cacye reading, I don't know which one, but in it a guy was meditating and reaching all of these break through. He was hoping to reach even higher levels of experience through his meditations. Edgar replied that he was creating a heaven all of his own but that because he was doing it alone he would not like it when he got there. We live a world where we are all sharing the same dream and each of us is contributing to the tapestry of that dream. We chose to have a communal experience for a reason. Part of the progress, one of the underlying factors in this is that we do share that reality with others and it's almost blasphemy to keep it to ourselves. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this bit of self-examination with me and may your New Year be blessed! By the way 2017 is a 1 year...which means fresh starts. The canvas is blank, as my friend named Emily said so wisely in a Facebook post today...now we have the oportunity to consciously paint what we want. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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