So often we feel as though we are missing something vital to our lives.
We feel empty on the inside. Shouldn't there be more to this life? Maybe if I achieve the right equation of success, the right people, the right stuff...maybe then I will be complete? Nope. Wholeness is not outside of you...it is within. You contain all of the answers you need. This has probably been one of the hardest posts for me to write. Simply because the world is so subjective and the idea of Wholeness can be subjective. The path to wholeness is going to be The Religious Cope Out This is going to make some people uncomfortable. Yet, I have to address this part of current religious belief because I see it as unhealthy. I see it as an easy cope out. This an excuse for laziness and it's why a lot people who are religious aren't living a life that includes spirit. On Facebook there are posts, "Like and Share if You Love Jesus and want to go to heaven! If you don't share you'll go to Hell!" All of us know this is not true. We all know that to be a person worthy of 'heaven' requires a bit more than simply liking a Facebook page. The same goes for saying that you have found Christ. Simply "Finding Christ" and becoming baptized and being a born again Christian does not make you "Christ-like" nor does it promise you a place in heaven. All Spiritual Paths to true understanding takes dedication, self-reflection and walking the talk. Sure, you may know the golden rule but do you practice it every day in every way at every moment? How about when a driver cuts you off in traffic? Do you turn the other cheek and give them the opportunity to do it again? Probably not. So, let's dispense with the idea that merely accepting Christ as your savior has made you feel "whole" because I know for a lot of people it has not. Being baptized and saying you believe in Christ doesn't give you a ticket straight to wholeness. Living in spirit daily is a practice that eventually permeates you on such a level that you can't imagine life any other way. Relationships There is an unhealthy obsession with soul mates. Another person cannot make you whole. I have found that people fixated on finding a 'soul mate' are not really looking for a person. People looking for their soul mates think that a soul mate will complete them. That once they find them life will be so much easier. Yet, they will be sorely disappointed when they realize that's not how relationships work or what they are about. Life is not a Disney movie. The story doesn't end with a marriage where someone who has been alone all their life has found a companion. There is no "happily ever after" but a complex interaction of emotions and energy that's a real relationship. I remember a sociology class I took. The teacher described that when two injured people come together they are often attracted by the fact that the other seems to have a matching wound. Then they put those two wounds together and they form a communal scab. Such relationships are hard to end because it means ripping open those old wounds. Yet, the relationship is always unhealthy because scabs can lock in infection. This is why people need to do inner work before they get married. They need to clean out the infected part of their lives and personality to become healthy individuals on their own before seeking out a companion in life. They have to find a sense of who they are and their place in the universe. They also need to learn to love themselves as few people do. The moral of the story is that Relationships do not bring Wholeness. If we are seeking Wholeness through marriage it's going to end in bitterness and divorce. The need to "find themselves" and seek true wholeness will eventually end the enmeshed relationship with divorce. So what does? The Success Formula Society has sold us on a Success Formula. I blame this mostly on schools. In order to be happy, we are tuaght, we need to be educated, get the right job and live the American Dream. People think that there is some formula for success in life. Find a partner, buy a house, and have some kids...then poof you're happy and whole. Well, there are a few problems with this Shangrala of modern life. No formula will make you happy. If finding your soul-mate doesn't make you Whole then having kids certainly won't and neither will any personal object. Work and money won't make you feel whole either because they are merely tools. There is no magical secret Formula you can put together in the outer world to make you Whole. Self Help, Quizzes, and Psychic Readings This is another trap I've seen people fall into and never get out of when trying to find Wholeness. Constantly going to others to feed you with directions to the decisions you need to make, advice or even tell you about yourself is unhealthy and can be expensive. There are a wealth of resources there just waiting to tell you how to live your life. To me, when I hear this, what the person is really saying is they do not trust themselves, their Higher Selves or the Source (God). I remember reading reviews of the book called The Secret. The Secret was a self-help book that claimed that all wealthy happy individuals used these secrets that it contained. This was supposed to be a recipe book for becoming rich, being more successful and achieving more in life. Well, sadly, the information is wise. However, this little pocket sized book didn't go into the depth necessary to really understand these "Secrets." Besides, the focus, which I see so often, is on money and career success. Yet, as I said previously, this will not bring that sense of Wholeness people are seeking. Attracting certain objects or a parking space closest to the entrance of a busy store is all well and good but...this is just outer reflections of an inner state of being. The truth is no one knows you like you. This is something that I've said many times when offering dream interpretations for people. Each of us contains all the knowledge we need about ourselves, but it's just a matter of turning inward to see those truths and "secrets." Self-reflection is hard because it requires us to see ourselves in our entirety. Not just what we want to see, not just focusing on our flaws, but the bigger picture. We are not trained to do this, we are so trained to look at the small details that the bigger picture can often escape us. We are so focused on trees (pimples, personal failings) that we don't look at the wealth that the forest has to offer. That's why it's so much easier to go to someone with an outside perspective and have them tell us what they see and yes it can bring insight. That person can see the forest instead of focusing on the trees. But, they are also limited in their observation because we are presenting such a narrow band of information to them. These outer sources might see the forest but they don't have the higher perspective that our soul has...and they might not see that it is us that is lighting the trees on fire in the dark of night and blaming a friend, a spouse or a co-worker. Self-Actualization Abraham Maslow was the first person to really describe why and where we get hung up on on our journey to Wholeness. He described the person that has reached Wholeness as a Self-Actualized person. He believed that only one in a hundred people become self-actualized. I've written on this topic previously and I encourage everyone to research the topic. Maslow envisioned a pyramid with Self-Actualization at the top. He called this pyramid the Hierarchy of Needs. He said, to reach the top a person had to fulfill all of the other needs below it first. I will include a Youtube video at the end of this on the subject. The key thing is that it does take some work if we are hung up on one of the lower levels of the pyramid. For example, it's easy to become hung up on the level of security if we grew up abused and never felt safe. Further, we might not have that issue as a child but something in adulthood can happen and throw us back to that state. My Path To Wholeness I have re-written this part of this blog several times. I couldn't decide how to go about writing the transformations that I've under gone in my thinking as the years have progressed. Should I break it down into steps? That didn't seem right as each person has a different path to tread. So, I'm going to give a general overview. The Calling The first time I started down the path I realized that there was a bit of a mystery in the bible. This was when I completely read it from cover to cover when I was fifteen. I was shocked to see that the Old Testament discussed animal sacrifices which was something I always associated with witchcraft. I was also surprised that Yeshua eluded to deeper teachings, that there was a set of teachings given to the disciples and a set given to the people as parables. Later, I would learn that in many cultures this was the norm....the uninitiated who do not seek the knowledge are never given the knowledge. At this time I read the Celestine Prophecy series and found it interesting. I also began interpreting my dreams and was introduced to Edgar Cacye's story with my Grandfather Douglas McMasters (the Dreamer of Muscoy) America in Prophecy. I also read the book Journey of Souls. Finally, I discovered that while it was easy for me to tap into the Oneness at that age (which became harder later on and I lost the ability and desire for a long time) not everyone could. This was strange to me and I really couldn't imagine not being able to feel that way. Major Wake Up Call One For a few years I fell off the spiritual path. Although, I do feel those were wasted years of my youth something wonderful happened. In working loading trailers I managed to find that sweet spot that Athletes call "The Zone" where the mind no longer has to govern the actions of the body and everything becomes synchronized. A Wake Up call that completely destroyed how I viewed myself and ripped me out of the life I had created (friends and all) provoked me to return to my spiritual search for knowledge and wisdom. I had to start my entire life all over from scratch. When I did go back to the spiritual path I discovered more than I ever imagined. There was a lot more information out there on spirituality and a lot more on the web. Befriending the Mind I began working with meditation. I read Sakyong Mipham's book Turning The Mind Into An Ally. I began to understand that the mind is not necessarily consciousnesses. I learned how to find my center and to quiet the ceaseless chatter of my mind. A lot of it was tuning into the "zone" that I knew how to access because of the work I did loading trailers. Now, if I want to think of a subject I summon up the thoughts. My mind is no longer the director (I think most people call that self-narration portion of our mind the Ego but my thoughts on it are a little bit different and complex). I also sough to meet my "higher self" although the idea remained abstract to me. I also read Dan Millmans books at this time which further encouraged me along my road towards balancing mind and body. I realized that being able to tune into the zone, as I did at work loading trailers and when meditating was a rare gift (later I would become aware that I had practiced meditation in a previous life). I discovered at this point that I could alter and control my dreams. I also became familiar with the idea of Projection. This is where a person projects the disowned aspects of their own personality onto other people. Often when a stranger doesn't like us for any reason or a co-worker decides they don't like us...it's because of them and not us. A lot of people to do this, I'd even say the majority of people are like this because it takes a lot to look at one's own reflection and own aspects of ourselves that we don't like. So, when we start seeing a pattern in someones behavior we see that its not the other person the individual hates...but the part of themselves that they have rejected that they see reflected in the other person. ( Although I did not discover this at the time it's appropriate information to place here. The only way to stop projecting onto others is to work with our own shadow, embrace those shadow elements we have taken on and transform them. One of the methods to do this is in the video I'm attaching at the end with Christie Marie Sheldon. Her method, of finding a pattern and then "zapping it out of existence" is the best that I have ever discovered. Since using it myself and releasing a lot of old negative baggage I've carried around I feel happier and lighter. I can feel my aura, my energy, has doubled and expanded.) Then there is a concept of boundaries. Establishing firm boundaries, which you will not allow others to cross and will speak up if they do is important. Part of this requires that you decide what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior on the part of the other people. I made great strides towards self-confidence during this time period. I did a lot of work on rebuilding my self-image. I had wonderful successes, achieved three degrees and was promoted to management roles at two different companies. Major Wake Up Call Two Again, a decade later, I had another Wake Up Call. This time was different, however, and more soul shattering. Whereas I had been able to find meaning and purpose in all of my other adventures in life I could not find a purpose for this one. I felt completely abandoned by the Creator/God. I was mad at my Higher Self that had the full picture of what was going on for letting something so tragic happen to me and for me to be ripped so completely out of the life I had been creating for a second time. I struggled with this over a span of two years. Sometimes I felt completely broken and alone...completely abandoned by Spirit and unable to tap into the Oneness and harmony I once could feel so effortlessly. I felt utterly abandoned. Setting Aside Personality This time I learned that I don't have to create a persona for myself. I've never built myself up again. I don't have a self-image. I have no expectations for myself, no goals, no desire to "prove" myself to anyone. I have no need or desire to belong to groups or apply labels to myself. I know that all labels and social constructs are all..well, imaginary bull crap that divides people and I just don't want to buy into anymore to feel as though I belong. I exist, I am a part of the Source, created by Source because the Source of All-That-Is desired my existence and for me that is the only validation I need. When we are children we begin to build a personality for ourselves in this world. School starts training us in thinking that we are a vocation. I have a yearbook from elementary school where they asked us to draw our future selves and what our vocation will be...the drawing is surprisingly accurate but I learned early on that I didn't want to be a vet because I don't like to see animals in pain. This type of training is what leads so many people to base their self worth on their jobs. Not only that but we are challenged to build a personality, what we do not like, how we define ourselves in comparison to others throughout our school years and even our teachers or parents give us certain definitions- he's the underachiever, she's the teachers pet and so on. Yet, we are not, in our basic essence, those personalities. In a talk given by Edgar Cacye in Washington D.C. Februry 3rd 1935 he said this: "We have been admonished by this one, that one, and the other to develop our personality in order to be a power in the world; but if we turn rather within ourselves, where the Kingdom of Heaven is, what has been the promise? 'All of these things shall be added unto you, in their place.' We are all on our way for a development." At another talk given to a Norfolk Study Group Open Meeting Edgar Cacye said this: "Apparently, I am one of the few who can lay aside their own personality sufficiently to allow their souls to make this attunement to this universal source of knowledge- but I say this without any desire to brag about it. In fact, I do not to claim to possess anything that other individuals do not inheriently possess. Really and truly, I do not believe there is a single individual that doesn't possess this same ability I have. I am certain that all human beings have much greater powers than they are ever conscious of- if they would only be willing to pay the price of detachment from self-interest that it takes to develop those abilities. Would you be willing, even once a year, to put aside, pass out entirely from, your own personality?" I have absolutely no reason to view myself as superior to anyone and I do not view anyone else as superior to me. As I have progressed along the path of spiritual knowledge I've learned no one is a superior to anyone else but I do have a deep seated respect for each person as a reflection of the Source (God). Each of us has a gift or a talent that we can use for humanity. The Creator didn't create us without a purpose or strength. Not everyone's purpose or strengths are the same. Each of us has to turn inward to find what our purpose and strengths are...then we have to learn how to apply them to the outer world. Owning Our Flaws I worked on owning all of the aspects of myself that I had tried to reject and repress. By embracing those darker aspects of myself and owning them I realized I saw people differently. I could see them for who they were not what I wanted them to be or needed them to be to justify my own actions. I just saw the movie Suicide Squad and there was one point, when Diablo discusses how he killed his family by losing himself to rage (the monster within) and Harlequin tells him to, "Own that shit!" That's what we have to do in our life. We have the choice to be the victims of our own actions by disowning what we have done or parts of our past we don't like. We have the free will to spend our entire lives feeling sorry for ourselves if we want and there is no Judgment from Spirit. The greatest judge we face in the afterlife is ourselves. We can also choose Responsibility. We can choose to own those mistakes, embrace them, realize we are imperfect humans that are going to make mistakes. The Great Spirit already forgave us, he knew all what we would do when he conceived the idea of us in his mind before he unleashed us into the universe...and he did it anyways because he knew that our Spiritual potential is great. All of us are a little twisted, we are all a little flawed and if we don't embrace that aspect of ourselves and transmute it then we are going to create a shadow self. That shadow self of all of our disowned junk that we don't want to face and didn't even know we are creating can pull us down into a mire of unhappiness. I see this as naming our own demons so that we can cast them out in the way that Christine Sheldon describes. A Higher Perspective Perhaps, what transformed my view of life the most was my experiences of Past Life Regression and meeting my Higher Self in a dream that explained a few things to me. This sounds strange, I'm sure, and I'm sure you're wondering what the Higher Self means so I'll go a bit deeper into my personal interpretation and experience of that in another blog. What I discovered was a perspective of life here on Earth far removed from what my parents, society, teachers and religious dogma taught me. That our souls don't view it as a punishment or a prison sentence because of a Fall. That we voluntarily come to Earth (my soul sees Earth as a sort of Disneyland that is incredibly fun and exciting ) and that we learn the most on a spiritual level when we face adversity and experience what some might call 'suffering.' Because strangely from 'suffering' we learn Compassion, Patience and Unconditional Love. In Spirit there are no "Good Guys" and there are no "Bad Guys." We are just Spiritual Beings on a Human Journey of Self Knowledge. Our souls can be damaged if we do evil deeds, but that is a different subject and that still does not provoke judgement on the part of Spirit. I realized also that life is subjective. That two people can have the same exact experience and create lives that are totally different. Another Insight is that the Soul really doesn't care what the nature of the experience is as long as we are experiencing something. Our soul chose these lives because they knew the risks and they knew how much wisdom they would gain. In fact, the entire purpose of incarnating is to gain the hard won knowledge from experiences. (Remember Eve ate the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge and that knowledge came from the existence of death). The Great Spirit Then I realized that we are souls, not our bodies, we are created in the spiritual image of the Great Spirit and it clicked. The Great Spirit is the great spiritual fire and our consciousnesses are little sparks of the divine. That means that all of the people we meet are also an undeniably perfect aspect of the Great Spirit and even if they don't realize it, even if they abuse their creative abilities, to insult them or treat them poorly is like mistreating ourselves and the Great Spirit. From John 10:34 we learn, "Jesus answered them, 'Is it not written in your law, "I have said you are Gods?" This is a quote from Psalm 82:6, "I said, "You're Gods." You are all sons of the Most High." Then I learned that God/The Great Spirit is never separate from us, that we are part of the Great Spirit (the word God doesn't seem to capture the depth of the Great Spirit) and he is a part of us and there is never separation. Just a sense of it in this realm. I will go into these concepts a bit more in a future post that I will share on Friday called The Mind of God. Further, it dawned on me how the Mind is the Builder and how we create our own reality. I realized I was putting out a lot of frustration and anger towards others in this world. This misdirected energy was coming back to me and short circuiting my attempts at a more peaceful life filled with what I truly desire. With all of this combined, and continuing to find information that validates my own intuitions I have found an inner peace that cannot be taken from me. There is more, and I will go into all of this in more depth (to go into all of it here would turn this post into a novel) but I wake up most mornings refreshed. I have occasional low energy days just like everyone else but compared to last year, when I was in the depths of despair mourning my daughter and wishing I had joined her in death, it's been a miraculous turn around. I haven't gotten it all correct, yet, but I have become more balanced, more grounded and more aware. My current mantra when I start to give into negative thoughts about others or the world when reading a political article is to say, "Peace, Healing and Love," within my mind and imagine a tremendous ray of light from Source, from God, from All-That-Is being emitted from me to the person harboring such negativity in the hopes that their burdens become lighter. This is helping me to consciously rewire how I think and to place my focus on what I want to think about instead of falling into typical knee-jerk reactions. Achieving Wholeness I can't explain when this deep seated peacefulness took up residence in my heart. There was no magical moment where I reached Wholeness, no sense of nirvana, it was just a progression and one day I realized that I felt entirely complete. The amount of joy and peace that I feel on a day to day basis cannot even be expressed in words. The person I am today is totally different than the person I was one, ten, fifteen, and even twenty years ago. I feel whole and complete. I do not desire anything. I realize that everything is impermanent and bound to change. If things are wonderful and blissful at the moment...that will change. If things are challenging, chaotic and barely tolerable...that too will change. I just ride out the different eddies in the current of the river of life peacefully knowing that it leads to the The Great Spirit or Source (God) (as you can tell, I see all of these terms as interchangeable). My life is comfortable and while it continues to morph as time progresses, as all lives do, I find it is incredibly fulfilling. Yes, I'm still in a processes of self-discovery and experience but I'm a willing participant able to to see how I direct the flow of energy in my life in different directions depending on how I'm thinking. Conclusion Reaching Wholeness is a process that starts off with self-reflection...then we realize the entire world reflects back to us our own inner state. Meeting others can be a study in self-reflection once we know boundaries. When we identify certain patterns in our lives we can learn that by identifying them (naming them) and dismissing them (zapping them out of existence as Christie Sheldon describes it) we can transform our lives. I strongly believe we come to Earth to learn Patience, Compassion and Love. I believe that it is rare for souls to take on this quest. With some key realizations life becomes really obvious and simple. Yet, it is a complex progression of realization that diverges greatly from what we are initially taught. The way I perceive the world has become more flexible. There is no hard and true reality that exists the same way for everyone. I will delve more deeply into this change in perspective and how it differs so wildly from how I initially perceived the universe in a future post. I apologize that this is such a small snippet of this huge subject but to summarize what I have said....there is no outer path to Wholeness. The Great Spirit by whatever name you wish to call it does not exist outside of us. We have deep inner resources...a plethora of spiritual help....that we can tap into for guidance but ultimately our Higher Self and Source is what we should seek. There is no right way to reaching Wholeness. There are many paths. Yet, I am proof that it can be achieved on this level of existence (some claim that it cannot be achieved) no matter how terrible our experiences have been and without guidance from a specific guru or "master." On each step of the road after each Wake Up Call, where I found I wasn't living in attunement with my Higher Purpose....I learned a lot. So, even though painful Wake Up Calls from Spirit are undesirable they are always beneficial. The key I've learned, is not to ignore Spirit...because at first the Wake Up calls are subtle...but when I've ignored they become even louder and louder until they can be a life shattering experience. Yet, at the end of the transformations I find myself right back where I started just a little bit more wiser. You might ask, what is the point? Well, that is a completely different post but, suffice to say, inner peace in light of all of the struggle and suffering I see is more than enough of a reward for me...and that sense of Wholeness and At-One-Ment with all of Creation. I find it similar to training a new employee, if you do everything for them they will not learn. Sure, they may fail. Yet, failure is often the greatest learning experience.
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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