We've all come across people who are going through a Dark Night of the Soul. The level of what they are experiencing can be a broad range of terrible tragedies. The one common factor is that their life is left in shambles. They question their very existence and even their reality.
For some, a small issue such as their car breaking down might throw a wrench in their lives causing them to have a breakdown. Sometimes it's facing the void of ending a relationship. Sometimes it's the death of a family member. Yet, we have the choice to remain in that powerless victim state or we can rise from the ashes of our lives to create something new and better than we can imagine. I believe that Spirit reduces our lives to ashes regurarly when we ignore wake up calls because Spirit knows there is something better and greater then we can imagine awaiting us. We just get stuck in our comfortable ways, I call it the Unpleasant but Predictable Familiar that we can predict instead of facing the unknown. So, God, knowing that something better is out there, tears down all that we have built up to make way for something new. Not out of spitefulness, not out of negativity, but out of the deepest form of love. The Silver Lining When in the darkest of night people will try to point out the silver lining. "Yes," they say to you, "but focus on what you do have." I don't think that this is the best approach. When bad things happen to us, it is our job to have that experience fully. Some people take a long time to recover from mourning. For example, in my case it took me two years to fully recover from the loss of my daughter. Bureaucracy says I only had six months, but three months is preferential. Telling me to look on the bright side was not an option. There is no bright side to the loss of an infant. Let alone watching her struggle to live in an incubator. Every time they opened it to give her a test or to insert a needle her vital signs would drop and she would writhe in pain. For me it was pure torture. For nights I had dreams that I was back in that room watching her suffer trying to find a way to prevent it from happening. Clearly those thinking there was as bright side to the situation was out of touch with my reality. So, the idea of being thankful for what I have fell on deaf ears and I muddled through the darkness. Lost, and seeking some sort of way to make the pain I was experiencing stop. What I wish someone had told me is what I have told people going through terrible experiences since then. "You don't see it now, but this, which you think is such a weakness- the pain that you are seeking to escape- can be the ultimate form of empowerment when you embrace it. Maybe, you are experiencing this so you can help other people who are suffering like you." Everyone Fails, Hurts, Fears In a previous post I covered a meditation I had on people being addicted to darkness and suffering. The Soul might come to this planet to experience a range of emotions and situations. Suffering might be the one you desired to experience in this life time. I truly believe that we choose the life we are going to live before incarnating. We choose our parents. We choose the varied situations. We choose certain weaknesses to overcome, or choose lives where we experience bad things that we had (perhaps unintentionally) inflicted on others in previous lives. We come here to learn. In our current culture we want to surround everyone with a plastic bubble wrap: No one should have to fear, people say. No one should hurt. No one should be uncomfortable. Everyone should have the same exact opportunities, lives and possessions. Sure, no one actively seeks pain in life...but strangely our souls came here for a wide range of experiences. We came here exactly because this realm can experience pain on such a level, that we can be hurt, that we can experience fear, doubt, that we can struggle and experience the sense of separation from the Creator. By trying to protect people from some of the most humbling human experiences... we actually harm society and work against Spirit. We cripple them by telling them they 'deserve' certain things instead of telling them how earn things. Yet, this philosophy that life should not be painful, that we shouldn't fail, that we shouldn't hurt, we shouldn't face adversity...that we have a right to a life free of the most basic human experiences just because of the country we live in is harmful psychologically. Those who suffer, who hurt, who fear...think that their state of being is unnatural. We fight against it, hating ourselves for having the experience as though it somehow makes us weak or less than others. When it is the natural state of humanity. Pain, fear, and suffering contains one of the greatest gifts. Within that Dark Night of the Soul we have the largest opportunity for change. Embracing The Pain Fear serves as a fantastic catalyst when a person doesn't listen to Spirit. Every person has come to this Earth for a reason, they have something to offer everyone else who has come here. Each person just has to find the alignment with the purpose that the Creator put them on this planet. That doesn't mean the person has to have a certain career. Sometimes it is as simple as sharing your own personal truth with others (such as I do in this blog). There is no right way, no one way, no one gift they can offer everyone else and there are thousands of methods to share that gift. Every vocation can be perceived as filling that gift as well. All that matters is a person is sharing and growing freely. For me, the Highest Purpose, a person can have is to serve as a beacon of hope to others. No matter what type of situation a person finds themselves in they are not the only ones who experienced it. Often times, hundreds, thousands or even millions have had that same experience. Yet, we don't share the story of our darkest nights with people. Usually, it becomes the family secret that is whispered during family get together's or funerals. For example, we don't go up to a woman and ask them how many miscarriages they had before they had their child. That's just not common practice but it is a very common for a woman to have at least one miscarriage. Yet, there are very few books or movies out there covering that story. There are thousands of untold stories where people have overcome their Dark Night of the Soul that we never hear about. I came across a book called Faithful by Christine Weisman when I lost my daughter. That woman embraced what she had experienced and she created something magical out of it that can help other people. If more people put their hearts into helping others when they experienced something terrible...to let others know they are not alone...this world would be a far psychologically healthier place. People wouldn't feel so alone. They would know that someone else had navigated their way out of that Dark Night and then forge their own path into the unknown. Instead, we tend to bury the darker stories in our lives... instead of embracing and transforming that pain into hope for others. We focus on love stories as though falling love with someone will solve all of our problems (I guarantee you that it doesn't) or we think that overcoming obstacles in our career will solve all of our problems (again it doesn't). There are a million things we think we need that will give us that edge everyone else has that makes them healthy, happy and whole...that allowed them to buy a house in a safe neighborhood where as we are living in an apartment...but guess what...that "thing" Doesn't Exist. Everything we need to obtain those feelings are within us...looking outside to others or to inanimate objects to fill that void is not going to work. Resist The Labels In our society it is so easy to put a label on ourselves. When I was younger I was labeled as Dyslexic. I switch numbers (not often letters) and words. Where others might see 1234, I would see 2314. When using the numbers that I had written down on the page...the work was correct. The problem was that I transcribed the numbers from the page of the book to my homework wrong. Because of this I was punished and held back in my math classes. I could have accepted the title of dyslexic. I could have accepted the crutch that the schools gave me with Special Education classes. Yet, no one told me I wasn't supposed to be able to read. So I read, read and read...and actually tested into Advanced English classes. If I had simply accepted the supposed limitations that a Dyslexic person is supposed to experience I would never have written this blog. Too often people accept the labels that are given to them and act accordingly. I reject all labels. I do not act according to the expectations of any label anyone tries to give me. I am simply human...nothing more. I am a mixed blood, I do not fit in with any "race". So I reject all racial titles, after all, science has proven that beneath the skin we are all the same. Labels...too often...become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once a person is given a label we are expected to behave a certain way. A dyslexic person is not supposed to ever live up to very much. They are channeled into community colleges and told they have a limited option on jobs. They are not supposed to write blogs, write books, become a published writer, exceed in their careers, and they certainly not supposed to earn a Masters Degree. Yet, I achieved all of those things. Never accept a label, ever, please. Don't punish other people for labeling you either, that just shows that they limit themselves that way, and they should be duly ignored. Being A Light To Others Every time we find ourselves in darkness we should look at it as a blessing...an opportunity to learn and help others. Once we find a way to navigate that Dark Moment...we can then reach out to other people and say, "Here, there is hope, there is light and there is a way! If I can do this so can you." The only way to truly do this is to dedicate yourself to the service of others. Which is one of the most noble acts we can under take. Only when we are in service do these situations become blessings because then we realize... "Oh! I have learned so that I might help and uplift others who are suffering!" Be A Phoenix These situations where our lives fall apart, especially when we are self serving, can seem so depressing. We might have to start our lives over from scratch. Yet, the most beautiful thing is that with change there is always unlimited opportunity. When you have a blank page you can draw whatever you wish. Our lives, when turned to issues, is like that blank page. Our minds are the person drawing the picture. If our minds are filled with darkness and we are drawing in depression or the negative...then the images we create will be negative. We will perceive the world as a dark and negative place. We must be very careful what we take in, what type of information we take in and the type of people that we are spending our time with...because that is the food for our mind. At the end of the day we can only affect the page that is before us. We choose what we draw in our lives. I may look at my neighbors page and see that they have more or less or decide by the images on their page that they threaten me in some way...yet, that does not matter because I don't have to place that on my blank page. I don't have to accept them into my life in any way shape or form. Yet, sometimes challenges come, Dark Nights of the Soul arrive, and in that darkness we can find the spark of something divine...the hope...the opportunity to help and serve others in some small way. Then we are transformed, rising from the ashes that destroyed us...as a Phoenix. The Phoenix has long been the symbol of hope and rebirth to people around the world. Often it is depicted as being on fire, because its from the embers of it's previous life that it arises...and it shines forth that light so others may do the same. Reject labels, reject seeing yourself as a victim...and choose to be a Phoenix!
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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