This is an amazing New Moon.
This is one of the most optimistic Moons of 2021. The energy is upbeat and positive. I think all of us can use that energy. At the same time, we need to proceed with caution, this raw energy is a bit like a lightning strike since it's sandwiched between two electrifying Aquairus Full Moons. If we're not careful we may become overloaded with energy and burn out. I wouldn't be surprised to see electrical grids go down. The Astrology We are having a Leo New Moon during the "Lions Gate Portal" (a.k.a. when the Star Sirius rises over the horizon). For Egypt Sirius represented a change in the seasons and abundance as the Nile would overflow it's banks watering the crops and creating abundance so it was a time of celebration. This is a time where we get a hint at the amount of the years harvest. Mercury and Mars are both with this New Moon. This is give this New Moon even more energy. Mars brings the life force energy and Mercury the Mental energy. With the conscious and subconscious working together we can have a moment of startlingly clarity. This is a much needed boost of energy and optimism during a period of Chaos caused by two potent Aquairus Full Moons. Venus is in Scorpio giving this New Moon a lot of emotional depth. Medicene Card 3-Elk This is the second time that we received this card for a Moon Cycle this year. Elk is the card of stamina and keeping a steady pace. "Elk medicine teachs that pacing yourself will increase your stamina. Elk...may not be the first ones to arrive at a goal, but they always arrive without getting burned out. If you have taken on too much recently, it might be a good idea to look at how you plan to finish what you have started without ending up in the hospital." (Pg 49, Sams) Given the Astrology of this New Moon I think this is an important aspect to have in mind. With the rush of energy from the Leo New Moon with it's youthful energy we may try to reach a goal too quickly. The name of the game this year seems to be slow and steady. I've explained in other blogs how I've experienced many set backs this year. Trying to rush to get anything done or experience anything with this Coronavirus Pandemic thing going on is an act of futility. Indigenous Moon Hot Winds Moon This is the hottest month of the year when many plants are in full bloom and the first fruits are harvested (Lammas, the first harvest in the European tradition is August 1st). Here is the quote I found really interesting, "A (charecteristic of this moon)...is taking on too many causes and giving up before they have finished the first." (Pg 19, Callahan) Hebrew Letter Tet* Tet* starts the Hebrew words for travel, purity and brilliance. All of these seem really relative to August when the sun seems so harsh, many people travel for vacation and the heat, in my mind, purifies. Tet, is connected with taste. The symbol it looks a little like a mouth eating something. Tarot Card Strength Card - 8 The implications for this Tarot Card for capturing/defining the energy of this Full Moon is fascinating. Not surprisingly, this is the card for Leo in the Tarot and it's also a number 8. The woman on the card represents the Subconscious or Higher Self. The Lion represents several aspects- the Desire Mind, the Life Force, conscious, the Sun and the 'animal soul' often referred to as the lower self. The obvious part of the card is that the woman has tamed the lion. The Subconscious and Conscious are working together. In some traditions the lion is tamed (or eliminated) by losing all desire. This is done so that the individual will not reincarnate on Earth that is seen as undesirable. In the Kabbalistic tradition this is practically suicide. As Jason Lotterhand explains, "Key 8 rules the sense of taste. The Cabala can't stress enough the importance of developing your own taste. It's amusing that this whole work boils down to what you like." Pg 141, Lotterhand. There is also a warning, as always, of working with this life-force. The Kundalini is well known for "blowing the switches" as Lotterhand put it when we attempt to work with it without preparation. We can literally blow our nervous system because the Life Force within us is so eager to aide us in our work. That's why some Spiritual Awakenings are more extreme than others. The Conscious works with the Subconscious through suggestions. That's why rituals- even just creating crystal grids or just setting intentions by writing them in a journal- are really subconscious tools. Tools For Air: Lavendar With the energy leaning so much in favor of burnout for this Moon Cycle I wanted to invoke a calm and peaceful energy. Lavender has been used for centuries to invoke calm. This will help maintain a steady pace through the month. For Fire: Red Pillar Candle While I don't want to encourage burn out I do want to harness this burst of primal energy towards productivity. Therfore, I will be using a red candle. For Water: Eucalyptus Oil I will be anointing my grid with Eucalyptus oil. This invigorating oil can also have a calming effect. This will encourage the burst of primal energy while helping to direct it into productive planning. For Earth: The Grid I really want to promote balance with this grid. I don't want to quench the energy because it can be very positive but I don't want it to be like a raging inferno. Sodalite Generator: This is a Third Eye Stone known for sweet dreams. I always keep a piece of Sodalite near my bed. This stone has a very calming and soothing effect that helps ground energy and promote good health. This is a great stone that will help direct the fierce energy without dampening it. Carnelian: I was hesitant including this stone for this Moon Cycle. Athena from Sage Goddess calls this, "The caffeine stone," and the last thing I wanted to do was add more energy to a Full Moon that might provoke burn out. However, Lembo (pg117) explains that this Solar Plexus stone actually aids in fertility. Given that I will use this energy for planning fertility is optimal because what is planning but planting seeds for the future? Plus these seeds will be bursting with life force. Jet: This Root Chakra Stone will help ground this energy. In electrical systems if a grid is well grounded it can handle a lot of energy. Lembo's phrase for this stone is perfect, "Cooling Fires" (Pg 202). This stone can quiet anxiety too. This is an absoabsolutely essential stone for this Moon cycle. At the same time this stone (a type of coal) can help light the fires of creativity. Larimar: This lovely Third Eye Chakra Stone invokes the ebb and flow of the tide. Literally mined from the sea during a specific season this stone embodies that energy. The powerful aquatic stone will help balance the fierce fire energy of this Moon Cycle by helping to tap into emotions and communicate lovingly. Yellow Serpentine: I may be playing with fire by including this Kundalini Stone. This is an essential stone for any one with depression or those who struggle with low energy. This Solar Plexus stone helps to consciously tap into that Life Force energy helping to grow it or simply maintain it. This is also a stone of optimism and abundance. With such fierce fiery energy with this New Moon while facing such trying times it's great to build up some extra optimism and abundance. 4 Peridot Chips: Peridot is one of my fafvorite stones. They are stones of abundance resonating with the heart chakra. This is a stone of gratitude and transformation too. I wanted to harness all of the energy of this New Moon by channeling it toward future abundance. Additional Thoughts Overwhelmingly the theme for this Full Moon is Burn Out. All of our methods for determineing the energy of this Full Moon- Our Medicene Card, the Indigenous Moon, the Hebrew Letter and the Tarot Card- suggests a great burst of energy- whether it's the term 'radiance' or the multiple references to burn out. Because the Life Force on the planet will be at such a high level people may choose to take on too much. The optimistic energy may lead to people planning things that will not be supported- especially given that this New Moon is sandwiched by those Airy/Insubstantial Aquairus Full Moons. Of course, this energy is emphasized with the combination of Mercury (the Conscious Mind) with Mars (The Animal Desire Nature). If we heed the advice of our Animal Medicene Card it becomes obvious that the only way to manage this energy is to take it easy. Slow and steady will get us through this time period. Trying to sprint to the finish line is not just an act of futility but it may harm us. As Jamie Sam's said- we might end up in the hospital. With the Coronavirus Surge this makes sense. Basically, when we are exhausted our immunity will become low. That will make us more vulnerable to viruses. So while many are restlessly ready to get out and make up for over a year of being stagnant...the energy isn't supportive. This may be a good time for planning but it's not a great time for activity. We will feel compelled to do things but it's risky. Conclusion This Moon Cycle has the potential for building a foundation for future planning. By harnessing the optimism, abundance and incrediblely raw natural power of this New Moon we can make fantastic plans. However, if we push to rush these plans or try to plan too much it will probably lead to burn out and we may literally end up in the hospital. Now is the time to tap into raw creativity to plan what we want in the future. Be careful of what intentions that you set because they will be carried on a wave of energy that may be impossible to stop.
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Recently in a conversation with my husband I told him if I had to assigned an alignment it would be Cahotic Neutral instead of Good or Evil. I can't say I'm 100% neutral because I do still get triggered and emotional.
If you look at the Dungeon and Dragons of definition of this (I used to play D&D) it's this, "...an individualist who follows their own heart and generally shirks* rules and traditions. Although chaotic neutral characters promote the ideals of freedom, it is their own freedom that comes first; go and evil come second to their need to be free." Although I totally follow rules when I'm aware of them and I have developed my own traditions (because I do think they ground us) this sounds about right. Freedom comes first. Rules and right and wrong should serve to preserve freedom instead of forcing "order" on everyone. I'm for the Natural Order which absolutely includes Chaos. Trying to remove Chaos (often symbolized as the feminine/subconscious/receptive energy and depicted as closer to God) from the Natural Order (the order itself often depicted as masculine, think of Adam naming all the animals, and as the rejecting/discerning intelligence) from the Natural Order results in dysfunction. Chaos and Order are two halves of one whole just as we must develop both our Masculine and Feminie sides within (which has been rejected by pop culture currently- a very Masculine approach- to the point of either considering people gender-less or wholly one or the other). If either our Masculine or Feminineis underdeveloped (or rejected) we become imbalanced. Evidence shows that it's really rare for someone to be 100% evil or 100% good. All of us are various mixes. Most people tell white lies but "according to the rules" a lie is still wrong even if someone claims it was for a "noble" purpose. This is one of the reasons the wipe out the bullies movement was so wrong. Bullies, especially children, are crying for psychological help and so are the kids that attract bullies. Both need psychological help and not rejected which only entrenches the behavior. Humankind seems to be exploring this subject as we experience the Year of the Villian. Whether that's Loki, the Joker, Harlequin or Black Widow...as one of the promotional materials for Cruella says, "No one is entirely bad." Most people align themselves with the term "good" because we're taught to be good girls or boys. But that causes that division where everything in the world is classified as "good" or "bad." I can't help but roll my eyes when someone refers to someone as, "the good guy," or as, "evil." Everyone is doing the best they can with what they've got. Biden, for example, saying that Putin is evil because they're country may have tried to influence our elections was laughable. The United States very openly interfered with hundreds of elections. Dreams I've had two dreams that had to being more neutral. At first it took me by surprise when I expressed that desire on thst level of consciousness. In the first one someone who considered themselves "evil" or part of the Dark Side was trying to "turn" me. I laughed at them. I told them, "You can't 'turn' someone who is neutral. The concept of good and evil are irrelevant to me." In the second one I was being tested to see if I could join a school of disciplined teachers. Most of the people in my group turned evil including the leader (3) and I fought them off defending those who considered good along with one other. I had thought I was failing the test but then I was accepted and then given a room in the school with a mentor who was successfully Neutral. That mentor told me that it was exceedingly rare for people to want to be neutral or successfully become neutral. Of course, the neutral path is the third middle path. Evil is the left hand path, good the right and neutral the middle path (that's always been obvious to me). (Often Christians will point to to reference of the Luke warm being rejected in the book of Revelation as a reason to reject the neutral path but it is obvious with a little research that book was not something Jesus actually taught while he did teach and is actions demonstrated the middle path. Hence why he didn'traise an army to fight Romean occupation. He was neutral regarding who was 'ruling' Israel. The hearts of the people, not the government, mattered the most). Traditionally people only think in terms of the extreme of Good and Evil. They never even consider the third path of neutrality. I'm really over the battle between 'good and evil' that most people thrive in by choosing to pass on taking sides on that societal dualistic battle (which by the way my research suggets that the Creator is neutral) there is less judgement and therefore less hatred. Unneceessary Rules I think this Path of Neutrality perspective is in alignment with the Year of the Villian. I have never been a big fan of unnneccesary rules. One of the things I think plagues this country is an over abundance of rules. The funny thing, with the Defund the Police Movement, is that there are being more rules and laws being created by lawmakers then ever before- most of them very arbitrary- but there are fewer people to enforce the rules. I think this is also in alignment with the strong Uranus and Aquarius influence on this year. David Palmer, the astrologist, has referred to this time period as one for Pirates and I have to agree with him. Pirates ignored ignored rules. I think it is very intersting that crime has increased by triple digits this year which is in perfect alginment with the astrology and Year of the Villain Theme. Whenever we see the extremes that we are seeing this year and last year, however, I expect things to swing in the opposite direction relatively soon. Everything is always temporary and these swings, dramatic as they are, usually create a counter swing that is just as extreme. Being Neutral, however, you can ride out these swings in social consensus without becoming involved. Conclusion I'm a little surprised I've reached this place of neutrality. That was not an intended goal but it has brought more peace and a more stable personality. I'm not going to argue that it is the best path but it's a new state of mind for me. As with most of my experiences this development has led to more peace. This Moon Cycle was kicked off with Cancer Full Moon that was jam packed with Emotions and tension.
The world is in a period of major transformation and it's perfectly natural for people to experience anxiety as a result. We seem to be experiencing a rapid recap of everything that happened in the last 100 years. For example, right now economic and social experiences resemble the 1970's. Not surprisingly, with the Eris and Pluto square highlighted in the New Moon chart Cubans and Israelis are both protesting. Around the world the general sentiment seems to be that the population of countries don't feel that their governments are doing enough for them. Here in the US it is mostly the Black population levying this accusation but it's reverberating loudly in thr halls of our partisan government. Of course, most of us are asking where this revolution is going. For those of us who believe in personal responsibility and smaller government and less government intervention (a.k.a. thievery via taxes and handouts) this is a discouraging time. There have been seismic changes in the priorities of United States Citizens (I've written a blog on that) from the priority on having a family shifting to the incredibly superficial and less fulfilling (and fragile) priority being Career and the size of their paycheck. As general society becomes even more focused on superficial priorities that will make them less happy...it's natural they have to blame someone for their perceived shortcomings...and that appears to be the government. Even if the US government implements tons of programs like the Child Tax Credit Act it's unlikely this sentiment will wane...but only increase. That's because many of the people who judge themselves and others by their paychecks won't be satisfied because they want to be given millionaire lifestyles. The current societal hatred (fanned by the media) of the miniscule multigenrational rich families and self-made rich reminds me of the French Revolution. The only result of the French Revolution was a lot of grisly deaths. The good news is that the Pluto And Eris square ends this year. Full Moon Oracle Stone Almadine Garnet This sacred stone is a powerful soothing presences. This is one of the most potent stones to use when working with the Root Chakra and healing our Inner Child. Working and healing our Inner Child and the chaos that we feel when threatened is a vital part of the Spiritual Journey. Until we work with this important concept we will, on a spiritual and maturity level, remain children that are motivated by our aniimal instincts for survival as opposed to logical discernment. This stone is also very protective of the wearer and has been used to adorn roytalty world wide. They can also help us feel re-vitalized if we are running low on energy. This Lunar Cycle is particularly difficult because we are wedged between the uncertainty of the past being over and the unknown/unpredictable future. As the media, big tech, academics and the government continue to use scare tactics to manufacture consenus using tools such as the Almadine Garnet and developing our discernment is vital to our spiritual and psychological health. The Astrology This Full Moon in Aquarius is a bit of a humdinger. The Moon is at 1 degrees of Aquairus and sandwiched between Saturn and Pluto. There is a finality to this Full Moon. The realization that things have forever changed and there is no going back to how things were. Not only that but 1 degrees of Aquairus is where the Grand Conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter happened in 2020. The Grand Conjunction, in the Kabbalah considered to be the transmission of the Will of the Creator, is being highlighted. Joel C. Dobin has connected this cycle to the rise and fall of nations as social perceptions change to match the current cycle of Jupiter/Saturn. Aquairus is an air sign and it's best represented by the Maverick archetype. There is a duality to the people born under this sign because they are usually self-absorbed but can clearly see what's necessary for society as a whole. This is definitely reflected in the emphasis on income and prestige of a career determining the value of a person as opposed to an emphasis of having a family (the American Dream). The people who survive the best during this time are those who do things by inventive unconventional means. The old way of gaining power and influence is over. Opposite of the the Moon Stellum is the Sun in at 1 degree Leo. The Sun is at full strength, thank goodness, and illuminating the situation. Meanwhile Pluto is opposed Mercury. So, something about communication us coming to an end. Further Thoughts The Full Moon is a time of meditation. That's why theses posts are less about predictive elements and more about the summary of the energy of the Lunar Cycle and what it means. While the transition of power that is happening is occurring along racual/political lines in the media...I don't see it that way. Yes, everyone is sick of the rich old multi-generatuonal affluent white male being in power who think it's some God given right for them to rule. The age of Empire is over.. FDR is a good example of that Group and the mess they make when they try to make life better for the 'less fortunate'. This time is not going to favor that group. We have seen this across society already thanks to technology. Previously the Ultra Rich had to approve all forms of success. In business we saw it start with Walmart who dictated prices to the manufacturers...and now Amazon that does the same thing. This has led to a lot more goods being accessible to be more people. Ultimately, while it is a change that is a good thing for society as as whole. The Middle Man, and therefore the consumer, has more power then the factory owners. To get a loan you had to convince a bank you were worthy. Now a simple laptop and access to the internet- whether it's YouTube or Substack- has launched people's careers without ever requiring a college degree or a loan. To be a musician you had to convince the people who had the money- the music label- to put your music out to the masses. Now anyone with access to the internet can put their music out. To publish a book you had to convince the Book Publisher that was going to be successful. Thanks to Qmazon anyone can publish a book. To be a household name you had to be a Movie Star or Director and to do that you had to convince the ultra rich to give you money for your product. To be a journalist you had to be connected to a paper or television station owned by the Ultra Rich. All of that has been wiped away mostly due to technology. That's why those who successfully navigate the technology are going to be the new leaders of society. Social Media has already indicated this and the power has shifted from the Old Money groups to the New Money- Bezos, Musk, and Gates. Yet, they don't have the anonymity that the multigenrational rich had. They are constantly watched and judged by the public. They are constantly watched and juedged by the public. They're also trying to figure out what they can and cannot do with this new found power as lawmakers try to figure out what should be allowed. The change has happened, however, the transfer of power has happened. Thanks to technology people have more choices then ever. At the same time the Marie Kondo methods popularity indicates that there is a simpler lifestyle with less stuff. As far as socialism, and it's weird to hear people being open socialists, the energy isn't supported. Socialism is the most extreme form of consolidated power. That's the opposite of the Aquairus energy. We've tasted oppression on a world scale thanks to the Coronavirus lockdowns. I think we needed to in order to appreciate our freedom...and hopefully it will lead to less government power so that it's reduced to the administration of affairs and less with trying to control people's individual lives. On A Personal Level The illusion I let go of was definitely around my husband. Now that I understand he doesn't like trying new things and he doeantdoesn't like to be out of his comfort zone I can forgive him. He's a creature of habit who, on an intellectual level trying new things is good, but he hates it. A lot of people don't know themselves. My husband really thinks he does.. One of the things that attracted me to him was his seeming adventurous spirit. That it took almost 10 years for me to realize that he doesn't like trying new things. I always thought he was just selfish and picky making things miserable because nothing was good enough. I never realized that he was not open minded enough to really give new experiences a chance. Nothing is ever good as the childhood Mexican restaurant that his parents and grandparents liked, nothing at Carl's Jr. Is as good as the Bacon Western Burger that he tried as a teenager...nothing is as good as when he was a kid/teenager qndand nothing will satisfy him as it did then. So, he orders the same thing with no desire roroto give anything else a chance. That changes things significantly. I realize I have to be the more dominant person in those situations so that my kids have the opportunity to try a variety of things and become comfortable trying and exploring new things. All of it comes down to boundaries. I would be dependent on him to lead and I realized, when he goes to oblivious mode in unfamiliar situations, it leads to horrible experiences. He hates and resents being left out but he throws on the brakes and resists new experiences. I'm at the point where I prefer to leave him out or ignore is negativity when he expresses how the new experience was not good. I used to want to give up and not bother trying to do anything if the result for him was always bad. Now I don't care what his reaction is as long as I enjoyed the experience. Acceptance I think the best way to navigate these times comes down to the Serenity Prayer. In particular the part about accepting what you can't change. The Earth has a certain rule set. The rule set is pretty tough. Yet, it's totally worth the accelerated spiritual growth. Total equality and equal opportunity is not possible on this planet. Utopia is not the intended purpose of this experience. There are easier planes of existence for less ambitious souls to experience that are more Utopian like but that's never been the intention for the Earth experience. Accepting the nature of life on Earth and that there are reasons things are not 'fair' (but alloted based on lessons needed to be learned by the soul...and that the soul chooses) is crucial for being happy. Karma explains why one man inherits a lot of money and another soul may choose poverty in this life because they were rich in a past life and didn't gain spiritually from that life. This comes down to the essence of the teaching in the Bhagavad-Gita. In that Krishna teaches Arujna to accept his purpose. Arunja didn't want the role that life had given him but Krishna taught him that role was important in the bigger scheme of things. Accepting the role we play in life, the cards we have been given, understanding that there is a Divine Order underlying everything, and doing the best with what we have been given (instead of wanting/demanding what other have) leads to peace qnd happiness. Conclusion For me this Lunar Cycle lead to letting go of a lot of illusions- on a societal as well as personal level. Through the realization and acceptance of the implications of those realizations I have found an equilibrium that brings more peace. At the end of the day, that's what the spiritual path provides. Not magical manifestation that makes all of your wildest dreams come true but an inner peace that while we are in this world we don't have to be of it...meaning we don't have to live by the same materialistic comparisons (that owning or achieving some degree of career success will make us happy) but focus on what really matters...which is our relationships with others, ourselves and ultimately with the Creator. I turned 39 this year.
Literally this was the last year I was going to try for a second child. So, my daughter Katie is arriving in the nick of time. I never wanted to have kids in my thirties. I thought thirty was too old. Little did I know I was lucky to have two by forty. For my birthday I chose to go to a State Park Nature Center and visit the Halal buys food chain for the first time. I was curious what their food would be like and, in particular, wanted to try their Baklava. I wanted to go to a State Park Visitor Center because on Father's Day we stumbled over one in Idyllwild and my daughter loved the Nature Walk which was easy enough for me to do. So I chose Eaton Canyon and the Halal Guys in Pasadena. Eaton Canyon was okay. The visitor center was a lot smaller then most, most of the exhibits were closed, the gift shop was closed and masks were required. I didn't see a single State Park Employee. The main trail was very busy but the Nature Trail was empty aside from an Asian tour guide leading a big group. Because the Nature Trail was poorly maintained the Guide claimed a stinky succulent was Sage and had the the group smell it. There wasn't a sage bush in sight of that marker (there were several others throughout the trail). I thought that was pretty shameful and one part of the trail was covered in trash (typical Los Angeles residents). I really enjoyed Halal guys, especially the White Sauce and I would go back. The place we went to (and had a hard time finding) was really strange. There were at least eight different restaurants and all of them were take out only. You could walk in and order at a Kiosk from any of the restaurants and then one of the people manning the kiosiks would give it to you. The Baklava was amazing even if it was small. My husband, however wasn't impressed (for Mediterranean inspired food he prefers Daphnes) and he really didn't like the price. So, we'll probably never go back back but I enjoyed it. The interesting thing, and the point of this blog, was when we were driving around Pasadena where he grew up. He always has to point out the apartments he had, tell me who he shared them with and even how they were set up. He points out the places where he first worked and we wound up eating at Smith Park where he learned how to swim. Quite frankly, we've gone there so many times over the last ten years I have all of it memorize and I tune it out because, for me, it's boring and doesn't matter. I just let him talk because for some reason he relishes sharing these stories. I've heard about many of these places many times (he shows no interest in the High School I went to or places I lived). But this time he threw in, "That's the Carl's Jr where I had my first Bacon Western Club," and then pointed out other fast food places where he tried his favorite dishes for the first time. I realized he only orders those favorite items off the menu...and he's been ordering the same thing for twenty years. I knew he was a creature of habit. He loves the Healthy Choice dinners more than fresh dinners that I cook. Over the last ten years he's lived off of those more than anything else (I didn't cook when I met him) and with my first pregnancy thought I should only eat those. Then it hit me, he doesn't like trying new things. He does many of the things he did in his teens and twenties. Even down to ordering the same item off the menu off the fast food chains that he hand his friends decided were good back then. This made me think of when I met him. He was attending informal High School Reunions and all of his friends were from his childhood. As he related all of his favorite stories and pointed out all of these places I realized how much he is stuck in the past. I know that the happiest he was in his life was when he was renting an apartment, working two jobs and riding his bicycle to Pasadena City College. He said that was when it hit him that he was happy. When he shared this memory with me he explained how unhappy he is now that he has so much responsibil and especially how he's been super stressed since having a child. I married him because he wanted kids, although, it's clear that while that was one of his goals it's not making him as happy as it is making me. I still marvel that he searched outside of his comfort zone to find me (originally on the dating website that we met on he had a very small search area that did not include Big Bear). Not to mention just how different I am from any of the girls he dated. People Stop Growing I realized a long time ago that most people hit the peak of their life in their teens and twenties. Then they stop growing and learning. For them, that's the best part of their life. Take, for example, one of my husband's friends who still lives in the house he grew up in (his mother moved out when she got remarried). He works the same job his mom did. Other then going to Palm Springs where his grandparents lived he never leaves Pasadena. He is always hiking Eaton Canyon...he's never hiked in Yosemite or even Joshua Tree National Park. A couple months ago he excitedly shared a story from his youth. He told this well polished story with great flair, it's clearly one he shares often, and he even included the date. I was six, so he was in his early teens (he's now in his mid-forties, never had a relationship last long then six months and talks about how when he grows up he'll get married and have kids...I don't thinkhe knows that he's middle aged). The story was that he listened to rock music that was forbidden by his strict Christian mother and he swears their cat was possessed by Satan becase of it. I sat dumbstruck. In over forty years of life this is one of the most excitingstories he had. His life is that boring. He's never challenged himself (he did get a bachelor's degree at the college where he works but it did nothing for his career. He's been in the same job for twenty years). When he and my husband get together all they talk about is High School. The stories are so predictable I usually find something else to do. Always Growing I love having adventures. I'm 39 and I feel as though I'm entering the best part of my life. I hardly ever think of my age. I feel younger (I had a moment of shock when I found out Ryan Grimm from The Hill graduated high school in 2000 as I did and he looks and acts *So* old. I've had a few friends from the past, including High School, try to come around but I'm such a different person I don't feel as though I have anything to say to them. Most of them have teenage kids. I'm just in a very different phase of life then them. I'm excited about being an older parent providing a stable environment (although, I intended to have kids when I was in my twenties). The mere idea that my best days are behind me is laughable. My priority and the experience that I always wanted was having kids. I'd exchange any of the wild adventures I had in my twenty and thirties for this experience. I realize, though, how little people learn as they grow older, how stuck in their ways they can become, and how they resist change. Life at work can be boring so the daily monotonous routine of going to work isn't even a part of their identity. I pursue new experiences. I purposefully try the newest thing on the menu. I go to places that I've never been. I love challenges and I get bored easily. I have so many stories when I meet people I never know where to begin. I've been through so many painful and traumatic experiences I have no paitience for people with victim mentality, usually for far smaller offenses and traumatic experiences then I have had, I have compassion for them but I absolutely don't feel sorry for them. If I can survive what I have and be happy so can other people. If they choose to be victims and dwell on their past pain that is up to them...but I know for a fact it's a choice. I never realized that the reason why doing new things with my husband usually sucks. He likes to do new things but he's not very enthusiastic or even present. He always seems detached in those situations. I've learned to ignore him and take the lead. This also explains why he would forego the cruise to Europe and the Greek Islands that his parents were going to pay in full...and instead manipulated the situation so that he could buy the motorcycle he always wanted and planned (poorly) a surprise honeymoon that consisted of places he'd already been (at the wrong time of season, and he would have spent most of it in the hotel room if it wasn't for the fact I did some research and found awesome alternatives to what he had planned). Conclusion I'm 39 and I know the best years of my life are ahead. I don't know what the future holds but I'm far more flexible then I've ever been before. I know my life will revolve around delighting and providing new experiences for my daughters. Being a mommy is new and each day is exciting. Nothing beats the zest for life and learning that a kid has. Yes, at this point some people sit back on their laurels but I don't think that will ever be my thing. Interestingly, the astrology around this New Moon was about letting go of illusions and it's interesting that I can see my husband with clear eyes. I see how much of a contrast we are and that I am, in another way, unique from the majority of people. This will affect how I interact with other people and my husband. I can forgive him for the fact that he's just like most people and he's stuck in the past thinking the best has already happened. Knowing that he will never be excited about the present because he's dwelling in the past...I can ignore him and just focus on my happiness and my daughters. Yes, it's sad he can't view being a father as the highlight of his life but that's most people. Again, it's one thing to talk about what you want to do one day and it's a totally different thing to do them...and some people regret doing them (I'm not saying he regrets being married or a Dad but I don't think it's what he thought it was going to be). Crazy Glucose Bloodtest So, at about 28 weeks with every pregnancy women have a blood glucose test to see if they have Gestational Diabetes. At my doctor they used to allow the paitients to take the drink home with them along with instructions. As usual, people who can't follow instructions screwed that up and so the drink has to be done at the office now. One of the requirements is that patient's can't eat anything after midnight. I've been going to bed at the same time as my daughter (6pm-ish) and waking up at 6am. We usually have our last meal at 3pm. I tried to snack at 6pm because I knew it was going to be a long time before I ate again but I wasn't very hungry. I originally planned an appointment first thing in the morning but my husband made it clear he wanted to be there. So I had to reschedule my appointment for the latest time they had available- 11:30am- so he could meet up with us there (he can't take full days off- only half days). My daughter woke up at 3am, and wanting to get more sleep, my husband brought her downstairs to me. She wouldn't go back to sleep so I ended up waking up extra early. I went in and recreceived the McKenna shot to keep from going into labor. I also received a Rhogram shot and at 12:30am three vials of blood was drawn. That was roughly 18 hours since I had last eaten. I think all of these were factors in what was about to happen. I wanted to go to what had been our favorite BBQ place for the last ten years that my husband had suggested. The place is a sit down restaurant and it usually takes awhile to eat. What I didn't expect was that they wouldn't have the AC on a 95+ degree day. We had ordered and my husband was saying something about work when I felt dizzy. I commented that I was dizzy but he didn't hear me and replied something like, "Yup," and then continued his rant (I hate drawing attention to myself so I wasn't going to freak out.) I said a little more firmly, "I'm really dizzy. Are my eyes dialated?" The question interrupted his one sided dialogue. He looked shocked and said, "Huh what?" As he looked into my eyes, "Yes a little bit." Then everything started going dark. Now I have fainted before, it usually happens with blood loss (that's why I don't regularly donate blood), so I knew what was happening. I realized I was too dizzy to get up and walk outside for some fresh air. I looked down at the table and said, "I'm going to faint. Everything is going dark." Luckily since he was looking into my eyes he saw them dilate and he jumped up. He grabbed a hand fan that I had pulled out from the backpack I carry and started fanning me. The waiter came over to see what was wrong (the husband was obviously freaked) and he quickly brought some cornbread. With a few bites of cornbread and the husband fanning me my vision came back. My daughter seized the cornbread from there (she ate the rest), my plate came and I ate some food as quickly as I could. I realized I was too hot and dizzy though and needed to go outside. My arms were so weak I couldn't scoop the rest of my food into the to-go-box. So, my husband did that for me as I left the restaurant. The husband asked if I could drive home. We had taken separate vehicles since we had to meet up at the doctor's. I told him no and he tried to get me to drive home on my own because he didn't want to leave his truck at work (although, he does it all of the time). I told him flat out if it was just me I might take the chance but not with my daughters. So, I told him I would follow him to work (that was only a few minutes away) in my car so he could leave it there and the next day my daughter and I would drop him off at work. I'm glad I said no because I couldn't keep my eyes open on the forty minute drive home. As I told my husband I was going to take a nap he said, "Well, okay. As long as I can wake you up when we get home." Luckily, I did wake up when we got home. I walked to my bed on the couch and passed out. I'm not sure how long I slept but eventually my daughter woke me up and I felt better. Hindsight 20/20 the husband and I agreed we should have gone to a fast food place...but he really hates eating fast food (he likes the taste of some of it but he has IBS, hates eating fast food because of the poor nutrition and will complain for days afterward when we do have it) so that option wasn't really on the table. So, yeah, that's just par for the course in my life. That's a mild story that is a now-you-know moment. I may tell it one day but it's definitely not the scariest experience I've had during this pregnancy...nor will it define my life. Yet, it's a lot more interesting (and recent) then the possessed cat story from the '80s that defined my husband's friends life! The Astrology After a peak of miscommunication last month (also a lot of errors with money/fraud) with the last moon cycle there is a continuation of some of the energy. This New Moon has an Opposition to Pluto. There is a T-square formed between the Sun, Moon, Pluto and Eris that has been in a square with Pluto since last year. I've started to see Eris as throwing a grenade into Pluto's plans to end things in a big way on the Earth Plane of existeance. This very tense energy between the Sun (Consciousnes), Moon (Subconscious), Pluto (Endings) and Eris (Chaos) should be very interesting. I know that we've experienced a lot of death/endings in the last year (Pluto) and Chaos (Eris) starting at the beginning of 2020. A lot of people seem to be over it at this point with a small group of people holding onto the restrictions and oppression. The illusion of that time period that was so intense seems to finally be breaking. Medicne Card Dragonfly The Dragonfly is our Medicne for this Lunar Cycle. The number is 27 which is interesting because the New Moon is happening on the 9th. The Dragonfly is the embodiment of the winds of change. Dragonfly represents letting go of illusions that may be holding us back in paticular with an addiction. The Indigenous Moon This is the Hot Sun Moon and the first of the Southern Direction on the Medicne Wheel. Callahan explains, "The hot sun moon is the time of the chid at play." This is when plants are at their strongest. This is a time of active learning. The Hebrew Letter The Hebrew Letter is Chet or KH. This is the letter of virbant health and vitality. Things starts the word 'Chai' which is the Hebrew word for 'life.' In Jewish mysticisim our physical well being depends on our relationsiwh with each other and our rleationship with Time (pg 41, Hoffman). The Tarot Card The Chariot represents action in divinatory Tarot but when it comes to mysticisim it is the summation of the first 7 cards of the Tarot that represent the aspects of an individuals psychology. This is a card of victory representing a person who is balanced between this world and Spirit. What really stood out to me when re-reading abuot this card in Thursday Night Tarot by Jason C. Lotterhand was this: "...That means his mind is liberated from the illusion, so he can drive his vehicle (the human body) anywhere he wants. It's not driving him. He's driving it. This is uncommon, because the control is very subtle. Just one persuasive word can movemost people in a negative way (a trigger). The Hebrewe letter here is Cheth,which means fence or wall. Oneaspect of this is protection. The Cheth surrounds the sacred inner place that is free from any negative reactions. In classical times they called this Temenos, the holy space. Liking and disliking are in the category of reacting. The capacity for liking and disliking is the important part. When you become aware, you say, "I'm reacting like an automaton, going this way and that. It's my my intrinsic power that's energizing this. I don't have to go along with this." pg 123. The reason I find this so interesting is that it hints that breaking the illusion (also brough up by the Dragonfly card) is breaking the control of those triggers. We currently live in a world with people who are trying to change others to prevent themselves from being triggered...People are under the illisuion that they can change the outer reality instead of doing the internal work not to operate solely on animal insticts (reprsented by the Devil Card in the Tarot which is tied to the sign of Capricorn and the opposite of the Chariot representing people controlled by their carnal desires/instincts/triggers). While it is the year of the Villain (the meaning of the Devil Card is a great descriptionof a villian) it may seem that these people who are driven by their Animal Instincts are 'winning' or dominating the Collective. The symbols of this Lunar Cycle is the first sign that is about to change. The mega Corporations that indirectly contorl the world are also very Capricorn/Devil Card and it does seem that society is shifting against them and the 'constant profit growth' virus mentality that has dominated business will be challenged by the the Collective. People are starting to question mergers and omnomolipiles as businesses continue to consolidate into a small handful of mega-companies that put to shame the monopolies of FDR's days (and Biden is no FDR since he is a mega-company crony). Tools Cancer is in my 12th house (as a Cappy the touchy feely Cancer energy- even though it's my Sun and really my path to develop it is the most uncomfortable time period) and so I'm going to focus on soothing energy. For the Element of Air I'm going to use Lavendar. For the Element of Water I'm going to use Lavendar Essential Oil. For Fire I also have a beautiful purple Lavendar candle. For Earth I'm going to use mostly heart chakra and thirdy eye stones. Amethyst Generator- A stone of detoxification that will help me smooth out those Emotional Energy of Cancer. This is a Third Eye Chakra stone. Blue Apatite- Another stone that I've been drawn to work with is Blue Apattite which is great for enhancing receptivity with spirit guides. This is a Throat Chakra stone. Peach Moonstone- This is the gem stone of gentle inspiration. This is a Sacral Chakra stone. Lemuarian Jade- This beautiful black stone has glittering golden specks reminding us that there is always spiritual gold in any challenging situation. This is a Root Chakra stone. Mookaite Jasper- The stone of beauty . This stone can help you focus on finding beauty in any situation. This is also a Root Chakra stone. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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