Not too long ago I was resting at the top of the pyramid, Self-Actualization. While I was in that state I met the love of my life, moved down to the city and started pursuing the American Dream...a house and kids. I was very satisfied with life and very happy.
In a way, all of us are pursuing the top of Maslow's Pyramid but for some reason only a very small percentage actually reach that point. I do not believe that there has been a large study on this phenomenon to accurately say how many people obtain Self-Actualization. However, Maslow believed it to be rare...at about 1 in 100. However, if an individual gets stuck on the lower levels of the pyramid it's hard to find self-actualization. When tragedy struck I fell straight to the bottom of the Pyramid and I've been stuck on the need for Safety and Security. I want to compare and contrast the two positions. ** First, let's go over the different levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. At the bottom of the pyramid is physiological needs. Breathing, Food, Shelter, Clothing and Sleep. The next level is Safety and Security: Employment, Health, Property, Family, and Social Stability. Third is Love and Belonging: Friendship, Family, Intimacy, Sense of Connection. Fourth is Self Esteem: Confidence, Achievement, Respect of Others At the top at fifth is Self-Actualization: morality, creativity, spontaneity, and acceptance. ** As the article I'm linking points out, losing a job can cause someone to fluctuate on the lower levels of the pyramid. Feeling threatened by a life event we drop to the lower levels where the need for whatever is missing seems to grow. When I had hit the point where I reached Self-Actualization I had found my groove, where I felt empowered, and strong enough to take on any obstacle. I was secure in every aspect of my life. I had very little need or desire for things because I felt fulfilled. Things occurred naturally and seemed to flow in my life effortless. I didn't feel the need to exert my willpower upon anything or to really 'try' I just took action as the need arose. I gave up watching the news because I realized that listening to nothing but negativity for a long time only led me to feel in less control. Secure in the knowledge that all of my basic needs were met at the moment I lived without fear. There was no pressure to perform up to someone else's expectations or make anyone happy. I was free to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Looking back I know that it wasn't really the circumstances or the situation that gave rise to that feeling of security and clarity. Instead, it was a state of mind. I had no desire to be famous or rich. I was perfectly content with where I was in life. The descent was a myriad of events that I won't go into...but it's a terrible experience to not feel safe. To wonder day-to-day if all that you achieved might be taken away. To not be certain of your safety or security. I also know that both the achievement and the feeling of safety and security are illusions...both are creations within our minds. At any time someone can violate my space by breaking into my car or into my house...there are people out there that do not behave by society's rules and have no consideration, compassion or empathy for their victims. Achievements are also an illusion because what might be considered an achievement by me not be of anything value to someone else. So, in both of these cases, I know that which I worry over is nothing substantial but there seems to be a barrier within my mind that I cannot seem to cross over...as my mind refuses to process the full scope of what I endured. As I indicated before when it comes to our careers...we spend most of our childhood preparing to have a career. People in our society define themselves and their self-worth based on their career. We judge ourselves and our value as human beings by how much money we make and the nature of our jobs. I think it is very easy to fall into the trap of not feeling safe until a "career" in an acceptable form tailored to the individual preferences is achieved. Again, because of the stigma on lower paying jobs and the condemnation of people on unemployment, welfare or food stamps...it's very hard for people to pull themselves out of the lower level of Safety and Security once they drop to that level of meager existence. Instead it becomes this huge gnawing hunger while society says that you're not a good citizen based on what little you do have. Yet, because it is a state of mind, not just a state of living, poverty and being poor is not something that will be 'fixed' by society. Only the individual partaking in their unique experience can choose to either remain where they are or extend effort to rise. I was happiest when I was making the smallest income. I felt as though I was contributing to society even if it was just by the smallest of acts. I was the most miserable when I was making the most money because my quality of life was so atrocious as my job consumed my life. When given the choice I would prefer a simple life of the poor to driving myself crazy barreling through life burning both ends of the candle in the pursuit of money. Further, the more that we seem to obtain, the more things that we attach to...the more we attach ourselves to that stuff the more suffering. Nothing lasts forever, things break, impermanence is a natural state of humanity. Yet, as we try to keep things the same, to freeze time for one reason or another, or to hold on to objects...the less we are fulfilled. Objects cannot bring happiness. Instead, they bring more burden as we seek to maintain those objects or improve them...which can lead to suffering. The interesting thing is how life seems to react to the state that you're in...and how people react to you differently. When you are in a state of self-actualization people are naturally attracted to you. They feel a sense of security just being in your presence and want what you have. People want that confidence, peacefulness and knowingness that comes with Self-Actualization. However, when you feel insecure it seems to deter people. Strangers are less likely to take you seriously, they look at you twice and seem to think you're unpredictable. Inside there is a feeling of being off balance of not quite being able to rest because you're constantly looking to the horizon in fear of more bad news. Since you're constantly on the look out for that trouble it's hard to relax and it becomes a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy . Generally speaking it seems that Psychology has defined living on that constant edge triggered by an event as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Once you hit that point it's easy to end up right back there again when a major traumatic life event occurs. I know that it can happen, I've climbed out of the lower level of Maslow's Pyramid before to Self-Actualization before so it's not unachievable but it is hard to get back into the groove of life again and to find balance in life. Further, even if influence and wealth are achieved it doesn't guarantee Self-Actualization. In fact, trying to hold onto wealth and influence might actually drop someone down into the Safety and Security level of the Pyramid. Things break, the milk is spilled, and systems break down unexpectedly. That's just part of life. Self-Actualization is the realization that you have all of your needs met. As long as a person feels as though they are lacking in some area of their life that cannot occur. In my case, it's having a job, because there is always an emphasis on having a career I don't feel complete without it and I derive most of my social interaction through the workplace...so it's an important aspect of my life. My favorite job, working at Starbucks, was because I met so many wonderful people...a network of support that does not exist at other jobs. When people are not fulfilled, when they are struggling to find something to fill that need...success, influence, money...that's when people act out on some level. Often times the people perceive that someone else has what they want...including Self-Actualization...and they decide they want to take it by force instead of creating it for themselves. Riots happen. Revolutions happen. War happens. Governments have toppled when a vast group of citizens felt that their needs were not being met. The event that triggers that response can vary greatly. Two people who experience the same event can have two dramatically different responses...one might have a strong foundation and sense of self, while another might crumble and still another might strike out violently. One of the major problems I see in society being so focused on influence and money is that society doesn't agree on how much is enough. How much influence does a person really need? How many objects does a person really 'deserve'? How much money does it take until someone is satisfied? We know from the failure of communism that depending on the state for subsistence does not aid a society in obtaining Self-Actualization. When something is given to a person and not necessarily earned its value to the individual is lessened. Motivation that spurs invention is also greatly lessened causing the society to stagnant. Yet, people seem to love hating their jobs. I've been to places where even though the business itself was extremely successful and profitable the people hated being there. They didn't like showing up to work, they spoke about how hard it was and the overall tone of the employees was negative. Such an environment leads to a lack of safety and represents being stuck on the third level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs of Belonging and Love. Because they don't feel as though they belong in the job they perpetuate an environment of misery. Unfortunately, this is much too common in many of the businesses that I visit and has to do with the perception of corporations. Notice how neither money or influence is listed in the Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Since Self-Actualization is a state of mind money and influence are not needed. Money and influence only affect the Hierarchy of Needs when we compare what we have to someone else leading us to focus on one of the lower levels of the period- whether that is Safety or belonging or Self-Esteem. At some point, on an individual level, I think we need to be happy where we are at but that must be decided on an individual level. Each of us exist within our mind and we determine the state of that mind. We are influenced by our culture, society, family and environment but it is usually through the process of interaction. We interpret every interaction that we have with outside stimulus and decide, "Is this is ok or not ok?" When something negative happens or we experience a chain of tragedies it's easy to stay stuck in a negative, "I can't" point of view. Limited by our own lack of imagination or conception it's hard to break free from the downward spiral in which such negativity takes root. By limiting what we perceive as good and acceptable conditions we can create the negative environment that prevents ascending the pyramid to reach self-actualization. Interestingly, faith is one of the elements that can help fill the needs of safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem. McLeod, Saul. (2007). Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html
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I've decided to write and share what I write regardless of social pressure. I am afraid of being judged for my opinion. I'm afraid that people are going to make assumptions about me based on my interpretation of the world and I will be found unworthy. I think a lot of us carry that fear.
Nevertheless, I choose to write and to share my thoughts. I write to bleed off some of the toxicity that I feel in our society...to bleed away the negativity that seems to clog my throat and heart on a near daily basis. To express the person that I am in this moment and that I will cease to be tomorrow. I would probably be happy as a Buddhist Monk or even a nun...following some other simple way of living but I've chosen a different path. Instead, I interpret the world through words. I live in modern society, I buy food at the grocery store, I check out what people are thinking on social media, and I live in a house on a street filled with a mix of people. I only share my opinion, not that I think that it matters, or that it's important, but because I think by discussing the issues I can start to understand the world a little bit better. In short, this is the one thing that I do for myself that I enjoy. The exploration on this blog is my perspective, I'm not looking to convince anyone else that I am right or to sell something. If someone reads it and gains a different perspective I'll be happy. I don't believe in hiding these thought processes from others. The chances are most people won't even read these posts. Buddhist monks, priests and others who spend their lives contemplating human existence do not refrain from sharing their ideas. In the end, humanity's very climb to the precarious position in which it now finds itself was built on a mountain of ideas. Much of human society rests solely within the scope of our minds. In today's age there are a lot of people who feel disconnected, lost, and as though life is out of control. The strange thing is that the entire "system" that people don't like is built upon idea's less tangible than dust. The system is something that humanity has created...a group of people got together and then decided things should be done a certain way. Concepts that seem so concrete are really nothing more than agreement that all of us make to form that system. We are, truly, the architects of our own lives. Being born into such a system we don't see how we can find a way out. We feel trapped. We feel as though there isn't a way to change that system. This is why concepts such as the Matrix really resonates with people. I've seen this expressed most poignantly in the ideas behind The Hunger Games. The book Divergent is also something that illustrates how people feel about the system. The first literary reference each of us have a place or a group to which we belong based on some mysterious quality was the scene in Harry Potter with the Sorting Hat. All of us yearn to find our niche in society and find a place where we can feel fulfilled. This rebellion against being assigned to different groups that have different 'jobs' or 'tasks' seems to be a response to the current value system we have in the United States. First, we ask children to decide what career they want as an adult when they are five. There is so much focus on kids deciding their careers before they even get a taste of life, so much pressure to commit to something they don't fully understand, that we don't even give them the opportunity to discover themselves first. At the age of five we are encouraged by our society to start thinking about what we are going to do for a large percentage of our life. Second, by the time we reach High School we are supposed to have figured out a career. Never mind that in school you're not taught anything about what careers are offered in the wide world, what constitutes a career or the different options of how to obtain a career. Kids are willing to learn but they are still learning about themselves, learning their desires and needs. Third, kids are being channeled into college and those who can't afford it become left behind. There are a lot of programs to help kids go to college but most don't know what career they want to undertake and they spend years trapped in the college system. I have known people who spent more than ten years going to college. Then, when they graduate they find that they have to start at the bottom of a corporation....and they realize how big of a debt they are in because of Student Loans. Third, some jobs have a stigma. I had one teacher in High School that constantly told people, "You don't want to end up flipping hamburgers." He never told people what careers were acceptable but the ones that we're 'below' anyone worth value. This really kills the morale of anyone in those lower wage jobs, and because they are stuck at that pay range they work two jobs in order to make ends meet or stay living at home with their parents. The definition of poor is not very clearly defined, either, in our society. The thing is that we need people to be hamburger flippers. We need people who are going to be Bank Tellers. We need people who will pick fruit. We need people who are picking up trash at Disneyland....there are a lot of jobs that do not require a degree that need to be filled. Those people are not any less human or important then a CEO or a Movie Star. What is worse is that in order to get the Management or Supervisor job that everyone wants as a validation of their value... (good work and for 'good pay') everyone has to start at the bottom of the corporation. You have to earn your way to the higher positions. Now, college internships and placement programs really help but not all colleges are good at placement. From a company standpoint, unless that company likes high turnover rates, having those positions temporary filled constantly costs money. They need employees that will be 'lifers.' Sadly, most companies in the United States don't pay attention to their Front Line workers. They will burn through the workers instead of giving them raises based on their tenure. This is a commonly accepted practice because, again, in our society Front Line workers are looked down upon. In turn, I think that there are two foundation stones upon which society has been focusing on that doesn't instill happiness. The unsaid definition of success in our society is seems to be money and influence (popularity). Regarding influence we are focused on having as many people follow us on our social media websites, it's all about how many people liked your picture, how many fans you have if you're an entertainer and how many friends you have. The kids who were popular in high school may not be popular in adulthoods, the kids who were unpopular might end up celebrities, but the truth is most of us spend our lives in mediocrity- known only by a group of close friends and family. When it comes to money we are focused on having the latest and greatest in technology, cars, or whatever is the hottest fashion trend. We are so fixated on stuff and what to buy next that it is amazing. We literally make mountains of things we wanted yesterday that are of no use to us today. Without the latest in technology we feel like we are left behind. Neither influence, nor money, however, brings happiness. I will examine how being focused on money and influence has trapped people at the bottom level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs preventing many from reaching self-actualization and happiness. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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