Wow, do I highly recommend this book to the seasoned and stuidous spiritual seeker!
I absolutely do not recommend this to those who are not dedicated to spiritual seeking or those who are newly on the path. Nine times out of ten if you're new to all of this and never read a single book on the Kabbahal or had your own Spiritual Awakening experience...this book will sound like pure and complete gibberish. I have no doubt Rav Michael Laitman Ph.D. has had peak experiences. Abraham Maslow would look at this guy and go, "Yup, he's fully actualized peak experiencer." (If you don't know what that means check out this YouTube video I made on this topic https://youtu.be/i4L5HrirVEc). That said this book brought up a lot of concepts that I was unfamilar with when it comes to the Kabbalah. He does say a lot, kind of like the Bhagavadgita that you have to have a teacher and a group in order to study Kabbahal properly. I'm not one to really do that so I'm not 100% with that...I think books are fine. He even says, "Just read the books!" so he does have a contradiction there. That said, one of the most interesting aspects of what he talks about is creating the middle pillar of the tree of life. If yo'ure unfamilar with what the tree of life looks like...I'll post a picture below. This is the first teacher who explains that the left pillar is that of the material world and the right pillar is that of the Upper World. Only by working with the energy of both do we create the middle pillar...it is not something that previously existed when we were originally created but something we must create in the physical world. The other concept I love is that people who are not called to the Creator are people who have the easy lives where things go smoothly for them. Being called to the spiritual practices gurantees suffering because that's how we learn to correct ourselves and that's how the Creator pushes us...that's the motivation for improvement. Yet, he does say the highs and lows even out once a person advances enough! There is so many brilliant teachings in this book. I can't convey them all so if you're a seasoned peak experiecing seeker you'll love this book because it will validate so many experiences. Just go out and buy it! I have 51 markers in this book of deeply profound moving statements. For everyone else, here are some of my favorite quotes: "Judaisim fobrids idolatry and any kind of feishism. This prohibition envelops the most fundamental principal in Judaisim: that everyting we see is only a figment of our imaginations. Over the years, many of us have consciously or unconsciously adopted the principal after realizting that, by changing our perspective, we might be able to better cope iwth our day to day problems. This perspective determines our reactions, our feelings, and ultimately our reality. What, then, is the actual reality around us? Today, Kabbalists can state a principal that Jews concealed for thousands of years: that there is no reality at all, but something called "HIs Essenc," "The Upper Force." This Force operates in such a way that one sees Him as an image of a certain reality which we call "my world." "We are all able to see and feel varying images and sensations depending on our sensory organs and inner properties. All our sensations are subjective and exist only with regard to our feelings." pg 9 "Before performing Mitzvot (commandments), one should learn anything that will help to aquire the right aim. That is what Kabbalah books teach and nothing else!" pg 149 "Woe unto them who make the spirit of the Messiah vanish from the world, so as never to return, make the Toarah dry, without the mostiment of mind and knowledge, for they confine themselves to the practical part of the Torah, and do not wish to try and understand the wisdom of the Kabbalah, to knowt and educate themselves in the secrets and the reasons behind the Torah and the Mitzvot (commandments). Alas, they cause by their deeds the poverty, the ruin and the robbery, the looting, the killings and the destruction of the world. (Tikkunet Zohar, Tikkun 30) pg 150 "The will of the Creator is to benefit (delight) his creatures. The creatures are the ones that are meant to aquire and attain the benevolence of the Creator on their own. For that purpose, the Creator created an independent being that is completely detached from Him. The creature doesn't feel the Creator because Light is higher than the vessel,and when it fills the vessel, it controls it and determines what the vessel will now want. Therefore, in order to maintain its independence, the creature must be made in concealment from the Light, without feeling the presence of the Creator and spirituality. It is born in the farthest point from the Creator, a degree called 'The World.' " pg 176 "The spiritual word is an abstract, "virtual" place. There are only forces and emotions there, no bodies. The spiritual terms must constantly be renewed because we cannot understand a word of what the Khabbalistic books speak of before we have an emotional connection with spirituality." pg 178 "The correction of the will to receive in order to bestow is a very hard one to make because it goes against the very nature of the creature. Hence, the Creator has divided the way into 613 smaller degrees. He also split the creature into 600,000 small parts called "souls." When the souls come together they are referred to as "The Collective Soul" or the "First Man." pg 211 "Man's desire isn't fundamentally different from that of animals. Only a person who shows a desire for the Creator, a part of the desire of teh first man, is called "man." A person who does not show that desire has nothing to correct, and doesn't feel the need to come closer to the Creator." pg 213 "In order for the creature to earn the name (creature), it must become independent, meaning not influenced by the Creator. Therefore, the Creator hides HImself, thus helping the creatures equalize with Him through their own labor. It turns out that a person in this world, whose soul clothes a part of the First Man, is the creature." pg 236 "Therefore, people who learn only about the practical laws of the Torah and perform them mechanically, without correcting their hearts are called Gentiles. They have the knowledge, but not the Light. The Torah is the Light of the Creator that enters one's corrected vessels, while knowledge is proficency in what is writeen where and how. One can be proficent in the entire Torah, know the entire Talmund by heart, but still not have any real spiritual attainment." pg 254 "There is another way to evolve, or better phrased, "To be educated": by developing a sense of completeness within. In that way, the educator prevents any ascents or descents from the disciple. This is the basis for traditional upbringing. When one has a sense of completeness, onoe is tempted to halt one's progress, as the ego is satisfied." pg. 260 "It is inescapable; life itself compels us to operate this way, and at the end of all sufering, we still have to complete our individual corrections. It is not as if anything will really change at the end of correction; it will be the same universe, with the same stars, the same birds, and the same trees. But our consciousness will change! Our perception of the world around us will change because we will be different inside. Nothing else needs to change, but need only continue naturally, guided by the Creator. The only difference will be that man will become a real Man, instead of the beast he is today." pg 263 "In short, we want to better our lives. We seek self-gratification in everything we do in this world; that is our nature. Even when someone commits suicide, they do it because they don't want to feel pain, meaning they seek to better their situations." pg 273 When I asked my rabbi the same question, he replied, "You see, this is why I was a construction worker, then a cobbler, and always tried to be a simple worker. I rise at 1am and begin to study the Kabbalah before work. When I was a clerk for the government, the truth is that sometimes I would fall asleep at work and spoil a report that I was working on, but what could I do? I was offered executive offices, but I knew that in a higher office they would take away my mind and my soul. FOr that reason, I kept choosing jobs that kept me to myself, though I could have earned more money. I have been poor my whole life. I kept trying to find a job that would keep my mind clen on the one hand, and would secure my future on the other, a job that would give me the minimal wages." pg 282 "The Creator sends us troubles in order to bring us back to the purpose of Creation. Normally, if we are happy, we don't even care if the Creator exists, but is precisely during the "good' situations that we must adhere to the Creator. Thatis why He sends us troubles, so that we will remember Him. If we feel bad, we are compelled to think of the Creator. Thus, our work is mainly to think of the Creator when we feel good, as well as when we feel bad." Pg. 293 "The number seven itself bears secial significance in Kabbalah. The system that manages our world consists of seven parts. That is why things in our world are diveded by seven or seventy: the seven days of the week, the seventy nation sof the world, man's soul, which also contains seventy parts, and the length of a human's life, lasting approximately seventy years. The entire path of mankind consists of six days, representing the 6000 years of correction. We have now entered the year 5776 in the Jewish caldender. The conscious correction of the world began in the year 5755 (1995), not so many years ago. In the years we have left before the end of the 6000 years, the Jews and all mankind must complete the correction, and in the seventh milennium we will receive the reward." Pg 322 (Not we are now in the year 5778). "There is no direct link between the intensity of the egoisim and the length of time it must take to correct it. Even people who study and work in the same group have different desires. In one person they might grow, while in another they might stay the same or even decrease, and no external interference will help. It all depends on the extent to which one can ask for help of the Creator. However, this is something that is very hard to do because the ego sensesit as humilation. Still, there is no other way! Without His Help, without the Light that permeates the vessel, the vessel will not become alturistic. A vessel without the properties of the Light is a completely egoistic will to receive delight and pleasure that cannot perform any spiritual movement." pg 360 "There are no movements in the spiritual world. The difference between two worlds is only in my inner feelingsand what my inner coating allows me to see. We never feel anything but the Creator, but we always feel Him behind our filters, meaning across our egoistic properties. Our feeling of the Creator and Creation will intensify to the extent that we can extinguish these filters." page 336
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Sorry I haven't been around recently! I have a tons of material I want to write about but... Well, it's been an interesting past two weeks! They say on the spiritual path you're going to face trials and tested in ways that ordinary people are not tested. Man, can I say that is the absolute truth. Here is a quote from a book I just finished which I may review this week: "The Creator acts like gravity: He is at the center of th universe. First, He pushes the souls to a distance of five worlds from Him...Later, He begins to pull us towards Him... We feel the process as compulsory, accompanied by all kinds of torments and pain. That anguish is intended to motivate us to replace our egoistic nature with an altruistic one." (The Path of the Kabbalah Rav Michael Laitman PhD.) A lot happened in the last few weeks and I've felt so sick and tired between all of these events I haven't been able to blog or do my videos. First, because I couldn't get to my computer after the cerclage surgery. I'll just break it down for you by the significant dates that were major events! Friday February 16th I had my doctors appointment. First, we started off in the ultrasound and after almost a month of not hearing the babies heartbeat it was really nice to hear it. That was a tremendou relief. This one is going to be a real rascal. The baby was moving and scooting and just not having the ultrasound tech measure the thicknes so her skull to test for down syndrom. The baby was not having it but he did manage to get it and the baby doesn't have down syndrom. Then we went to see the doctor and planned the cerclage for the following Tuesday which was the focus of the visit from that point on. We had a conversation about a genetic blood test that needed to be done. There were two choices...one that *might* be covered by the insurance company and one that would be $99 flat. I couldn't make the decision then becuase I had to call the insurance company to find out how much we would owe them. Both tests would tell us 100% for sure if it was a girl or boy and test for all sorts of genetic disorders. However, there was a second set of bloodwork that we were given and I didn't realize at the time I was supposed to have that done then. Later, when we got home I called the insurance company and it turned out the first option would be over seven hundred dollars! Clearly I wasn't going to do that one! The other thing was that the doctor did put me on disability starting on the 16th. So the 15th was my final day. In a way, I was really sad because it didn't feel conclusive. I didn't know what was going to happen. On the other hand, the most important thing is doing right by the baby. I was also very sick and tired of being at work not feeling well and worrying constantly that what happened with my daughter Lilith-Ann would happen with this baby. Knowing that the cerglage was happening on Tuesday and I was officially on disability Ross and I breathed a sigh of relief. As Ross and I have been saying we don't want to take any chances...but then... Saturday February 17th I apologize this is long and drawn out...and could be it's own blog...but seriously, it ties in with the baby and I'm venting here. This is my official statement if anyone ever asks me what occurred during this accident. I was riding along with Ross as he was picking up a package at a FedEx warehouse because the driver failed to deliver it properly. Since I wasn't doing any walking and just riding along I didn't think it would be awful and I was glad to get out of the house. Traffic on the 210 freeway was awful on our way back so Ross decided to take streets. We were on Huntington Drive because it paralells the 210 freeway. We probably would have gotten home faster if we had just stayed on the freeway. We had reached the intersection of Huntington Drive and Santa Anita. That street has one of those horrendous yield on solid green light signs in the interesction along with the usual arrows for a left turn. I hate those because some people can be super unpredictable at a yield on green light. I was paying attention because of my wariness of the intersection. We reached it when the cross traffic was going through. When the light Left Hand Turn Green Arrow started to change there was a vehicle that was completley in the interesection. Behind it was a vehicle that was partially in the intersection. We waited as the first vehicle turned and then waited as the vehicle that had partially entered the intersection went and at that point the arrow turned red. The third vehicle, a black sedan, came to a complete and total stop behind the white line. There was no indication that he was going to try to enter the interesection. After all, he'd reached it when the turn signal was red. At that point, the solid green light for cross traffic turned on and Ross started to accelerate. Of course, that meant the solid green light for the left hand turn lane- with the clerly marked sign that read YIELD with an image of the soid green light....also, turned green. We were already in the intersection when I heard the squeal of tires and saw that the guy in the left hand turn lane wasn't just partialy entering the intersection to wait his turn to turn left. He had floored it and was turning! I thought he had to be doing a really fast and very unsafe illegal u-turn...which he may have been successful in completeing. I started to say, "What the hell-" But no! He wasn't doing a u-turn! He swerved barely missing the big dark colored SUV to our left which swerved to miss him and continued through the intersection (at his rate of speed it wasn't safe for the SUV to stop because he may have been rear ended by the person behind him). Had the black sedan kept going at his insanely stupid rate of speed we would have missed him. Yet, inexlicably...he hit his brakes and slowed down significantly right in front of us! Ross was stomping on the breaks of the Jeep as hard as he could...the antilock brakes gripped...and I was thrown forward. I was about to look at Ross and say, "Oh my god that was a close one," but the thought hadn't reached my lips when... The antilock brakes let go...which is what they are meant to do to prevent a vehicle from skidding. Unfortunately, those few inches were just enough to where we caught the black sedan right at the back passenger door just before the tire. I was thrown to the left by the impact. The black sedan went out of control and hit the center median on the south side of the intersection. I was with it enough to snap a few pictures...in time to get a picture of the SUV that had been beside us and the still green light. The sign for the crosswalk still said 15 minutes. I also took a picture of the Black Ford Sedan on the center median. After work with insurance companies while I was at a Rental Car Company I know the value of pictures. That's why I leapt to action. When I took the picture of the Black Sedan I realized that the back left wheel of the Black Ford Sedan was spinning as though he was trying to go over the median! The dude who'd caused the accident was trying to run! Worse yet, the guy didn't have a license plate! He had paper plates! So, if he ran he'd never be caught! I quickly described to the 911 operator what his car looked like, told them that we were at the intersection of Huntington and Santa Anita. I told them I believed the other car was trying to run and that I was a high risk pregnancy. At that moment, my main concern was my baby. Then a Nation Forest Service truck that was going southbound on Santa Anita came across and blocked the black sedan in. I'm not sure he realized the guy was trying to run. The National Forest Service member went to the other car and asked if everyone was alright. Then he came to us and asked if we were alright. I asked him if he saw what happened and he said no. I told him I was a high risk pregnancy. I was near tears. This was defintely not a chance I wanted to take with my babies life! The driver of the other car came up to my window and tired to intimdate me yelling, "You ran a red light!" To which I replied, "NO it was green, I have pictures and I'm on the phone with 911!" He backed off. A woman came up to my window then. She stated that she was a witness. She'd been in the car behind us. She gave us her name and phone number. She said she had been admiring the beautiful jeep when the light turned green. "It, was entirely his fault. He did not have the right away." The driver started to yell at her and she held up her hand, "I am not talking to you. I am here for them!" Then the other driver started taking pictures...even to the point where he jay walked to the center divider next to where he would have been waiting at the light and took a picture of the 'light' which he later told the officer was, "Taken just as we were leaving the intersection." Yeah Right. I gave her a big hug, thanked her for her information and she had to go. About that time the police officer came and instructed us to leave the interesection. The other car removed itself from the median and pulled in front of us. As Ross talked to the police officer and the other driver the Firemen came. I guess I must have been pretty pale and didn't look good. Four very big firemen told me they were going to do vitals since I was a high risk pregnancy and asked me to go to the ambulance. They helped me out of the jeep and pretty much insisted. There was no way I was going to say no! I was shaking and it was hard for me to walk. I think I was having a full panic attack and this is the only situation besides a miscarriage that I think would be able to trigger one. They took my vitals and my blood pressure was off the charts. So, off to Methodist Hospital in Arcadia I went. They did blood tests right away and set up for an ultrasound. Meanwhile, I was worried about Ross and that he'd know where I was going. Luckily, he found the paper with the witness's name and phone number that I had left on top of my purse so he gave it to the police officer. The big moment was the ultrasound. The baby was fine! In fact the baby was scotting and rolling over and doing flips just as it did when we were at the O.B.G.Y.N's office the day before. My blood pressure returned to normal after the hours at the E.R. and, finally, we were released! Aside from a huge bruise from the seat belt that sticks up out of the seat (which was the main place I was hurting after the accident) and a red mark from the seat belt across my chest the baby and I are fine! What really made me sick was the guy had his wife and two small kids in the car! Oh, and while we were waiting at the hospital talking about what happened I asked Ross, "Why did he brake in front of us? He almost missed us? Why did he brake?" Ross explained, "He was going to hit the median." My mouth gaped open. Then I looked at the photo I had taken and realized he ended up on the left side of the median. Had a car been in the left hand turn lane to turn onto Huntington Drive he would have hit it head on! He hit the brakes because he saw that he was going to hit the median! If there hadn't been a median he probably would have just cut through and been fine. Reckless and completely inconsiderate of human life...but at least I wouldn't have been involved in an accident and spent hours in the E.R.! Also, he tried to tell Ross that the damage to the Jeep we were driving was minor. I think he was still trying to get out of calling his insurance company. Which is Geico and their representatives have been extremely unprofessional. All in all, we did meet 9 amazing people that day- the national forest service person who stopped to help, the police officer, the four firemen who insisted on taking me to the hospital just to be sure, two really great nurses at Methodist Hospital and a really nice ultrasound technician. Yes, we encountered one complete and utter inhuman boorish individual who had no respect for the human life- not for his wife, his children or anyone at the intersection including my unborn child!- but I'm sure karma has some really interesting things in store for him! Tuesday February 20th Thankfully, since all was well on Saturday...on Tuesday the Cerclage surgery still occurred. Of course, I had to fast the night before so the last time I had eaten was 9pm. I was confused because I had been called and told two different places to go for the surgery. Luckily, we planned on going to the doctors office and having my blood drawn prior to the surgery because we had the $99 genetic test. I asked the clerk at the office desk if it was at the surgery center across the parking lot or Presbyterian Hospital because both locations had called me to do a pre-surgery check in asking about my history. She said at the surgery center. Then we were handed the blood work and went down to have my blood drawn. Since we were done with all of that with twenty minutes to spare we went to the surgery center early just to be certain the surgery would be done there. Thankfully, they knew what was going on and we were sent to Presbyterian Hospital. The hospital wasn't very far away so we made it there in plenty of time. The check in process was very fast. There was a mixup when they asked me to get into a gown. There were two different types on the bed so I had to flag down a volunteer who told me which one was right and took the extra gown. I had a spinal tap done for the surgery. They informed me that I would be numb from the waiste down. I decided to approach it from the point of view that it would be an interseting experience to know what it feels like to have paralyzed legs. I learned there is a difference between a spinal tap and an Epidural. A spinal tap is just one injection and a Epidural keeps the drug flowing in a drip. I'd never experienced either procedure as with Lilith-Ann there wasn't time to even discuss the idea of pain free options. Turns out I was supposed to have a full panel of bloodwork done on Friday. That one was supposed to be for the surgery. Of course, that didn't happen because we thought the paperwork we had received was only for the genetic test. So, thankfully I had a copy of the bloodwork from the accident with me and that worked. Once the IV was started with a antibiotic I wasn't allergic to (I'm allergic to penicillan) and everything was ready to go they wheeled me into the surgery room. Ross went off to have lunch with his friend Aaron at our favorite Thai food restaurant. I was very disappointed. I decided to sit up for the spinal tap. I was aware of what felt like a tube going into my back just above a vertabrae and then something, probably the needle, being insiderted into it and going far deeper into my body then I thought possible without puncturing an organ. I described the sensation to the anethesiologist and he was shocked, "That's an accurate description of what I did. Most people aren't that sensitive." I was shocked, as he explained I'd feel my feet going numb first. There was a pleasent warmth that slowly traveled up my legs leaving them numb. He knew just where it would be as it traleled up. I was surprised. They had me lay down and began putting my legs up into the stirrups where they would remain during the surgery. Then the draped a towel across so I couldn't see what they were doing. I could only see shadows. During all of this the anathesiologist and I were talking about Thai food. I could feel a pulsing sensation around my waste...almost as though I could detect the electrical impluses to my legs that were coming to an abrupt end there. I heard the doctor say he wished they had a smaller needle when he started but aside from that I tuned out what he was saying. I decided to meditate. So I did my Heavenly Light meditation bringing the light down through my crown chakra and through my body. I let it flow through me and, quite honestly, reached such a state of bliss I almost forgot where I was and nearly fell asleep. The surgery was done quickly. They were taking down the screen and I watched as they kind of roughly put down my legs. I could feel, just barely, the tips of my toes. I had the bizarre realization that my legs are fall smaller and weaker looking then they 'feel' when I had sensation in them. Then, as they were bringing the gurney up to move me from the surgery table, I felt myself gag. I dutifully told the anethesiologist and he started moving quickly. He folded up a blue towel and put it to the right of my head inistructing me to turn my head to the side. Letting go and allowing myself to puke was a bit hard but I followed The next thing I knew I was puking a lot. The anethesiologist sucked up the puke with a tube but the way they put the towel caused it to shoot up and out. Unfortunately, the two nurses who came in to wrap up the surgery screamed a little as my puke hit them. Yup, I did my version of the Exorcist. I was taken to recovery where they asked me a bunch of routine quesitons and they were shocked to see that I could wiggle my toes. I would have happily gone to sleep but they wouldn't let me. The nurses said my recovery time was fast. I could wiggle my toes as soon as I got out and bend my knees about an hour later. The nearest sensation of the returning feeling to those limbs was a flowing sensation kind of like when your arm is in an awkward position and 'wakes up.' The last test was walking to the bathroom and using it...which I tried unsuccessfully at first. So I drank a lot of water and ate some apple juice. I kept all of it all thank goodness... and again, off to the bathroom I went. I guess, the bladder is the last part to wake up. But thankfully, even though the nurses thought it was miraculous...it only took me two hours to recover and urinated my way to freedom. Then I was happily on my way to have Thai food with Ross at our favorite Thai food restraunt. His friend Aaron had brought along some of Ross' former co-workers and they went to Jersey Mike's instead. So, I got to sate my hunger at Satu Thai Bistro in Azusa. I highly recommend everything on their menu. Every single dish I have tried there is amazing! I am happy to report that I have absolutely no pain and discomfort after the surgery. I'm not sure if I have a high tolerance for pain or if the Light of Heaven meditation is the cause. Either way I'm thankful. However, I did sleep a lot after the surgery and I really didn't try to push myself physically so who knows what would have happened. I was on bed rest afterwards and couldn't go upstairs to the second floor of my house. So I'm sleep downstairs...and my computer was upstairs. That's another reason I'm not writing this blog until now...my computer is finally downstairs where I can get to it. Conclusion
So, that, my friends is why I haven't been on...and also because I have an acute form of pregnancy brain. I feel as though I am in a constant fog which makes reading and writing a bit difficult. My body just literally wants to sleep and I have little bursts of energy after eating decently sized meals. However, because of my nausea I try to watch my calories thorughout the day and have smaller meals. All of that said I am very thankful for everything turning out so amazing. I cannot be more thankful for the fact that I found an OBGYN that is doing everything in his power to make sure my child is born safe and healthy. Dr. Kassar Sr. at Woodglen Medical Center in Glendora is a huge blessing and brillant doctorhi. I am so thankful that the accident wasn't worse. The airbags didn't pop (I'm surprised they didn't) and I give thanks for our witness, Maryann who I'd never met in my life and can't believe stopped...it just restores my faith in humanity. I am so thankful for the firefighters whose top concern was me when they responded. I don't know all of their names but I know one's last name was Maize...because he was excited my name was Korns. They were so sweet, kind and caring. I am so thankful for everyone at Methodist Hospital in Arcadia. That was the nicest, most reassuring and kind set of nurses, technicians and doctors I've ever met in an E.R. Finally, as you can read below...the results of the genetic screening came in...our baby is 100% healthy with no abnormalities...and it's a Girl! I'm sure Ross and I will announce the name soon. I think we have agreed on it already but that's his announcement to make when we think it's approriate. I have follow up OB appointment next Monday! After The Bear and the Nightengale Katherine Arden wrote a sequel.
Now, two things can happen with a sequel. They can become better or they can become worse. The first novel is often crafted with much pain and tiresome resilence. The odds of getting published for the first time is fierce. A first book has to contain something magical in order to get printed. The first book in this series had so much potential and just enough intrigue to keep me turning the pages. A second book, especially when the first one is successful, is not as hard to get published. The publisher might even ask for a sequel. This might be the case with this book because the author does not seem to know where to go with the story. She even acknowledges in the forward that it was hard to write and her first draft was considered terrible by a family member. Ouch. The first act starts off strong. The main charecter is on her own continuing the upbeat independent woman ending of the first book which was by far one of it's most appealing aspects. She's even taught by the Winter King spirit how to fight. I enjoyed all of that immensely. Then the second act starts and she goes to Moscow and everything that was potentially good about this book crashes and burns. The Priest from the first book is needlessly brought back in this book. The storyline of her brother and sister is interesting but woefully undeveloped. The opening scene, and the name of the book, are extreme subplots to the political intrigue that is also a subplot. The villian, again, is woefully undeveloped. By the end of this book I despised the main charecter. Her relationship and the Winter King's interest in her, which should have been the focus of the book, was an extreme sub plot that was a huge disappointment. There is a race scene in Moscow that was so terrible I actually skipped over it to the end. The descriptions just felt like filler. There is no moral to this book. No uplifting scene at the end. I guess you could say it is about family, duty and honor but along the way the main charecter shames her entire family and never realizes her folly because to do so would to be admit she was a weak woman... so...does that really work? I was severely disappointed with this book. Again, so much potential but the author has an inability to focus on a few main themes so that they are storng. Instead, there are subplots within subplots and in the end I hated the main charecter for being extremely petulant and selfish. When the main charecter goes back into the city after nearly dying in the woods...it took all the appeal out of her charecter. The strong main charecter that was developing in the first book was literally stripped naked and ashamed at the center of town. The main charecter is defintely not a strong female role model in this book. She is weak and stumbles from one crisis to another making things worse all along the way. Also, a lot of the magical components are neglected in this book. They are touched upon at the start and completely fade as the Moscow second act begins. The only minor role they play is in the main charecters niece which is an extreme subplot of the book...almost as though the author knew she needed to include it but didn't know how. I do not recommend the Girl In The Tower. I sincerly hope the author takes the time and develops her stories further and lays the groundwork for multiple books when writing her next novel, hopefully, with a new main charecter. I'm sorry, last week and this week have been rough. So, I fell behind on making YouTube videos and on blog posts. Next week, I'm hopeful to get the YouTube video out. This week will primarily just be blogs. I will probably do a personal update on Monday as I have my doctors appointment to check up on the baby (crosses fingers).
Originally, this post was about comprhending the abstract. However, I wanted to include the explaination about not taking things literally. Early on the path you'll probably start off taking everything literally. That's ok, that's how hour brains our wired to think but eventually you'll free yourself of that concept. Taking The Bible Literally As a Christian I was raised to believe that everything in the bible. Even the Noah's Ark saga which really stretchedt he imagination was said to have happened. Now, for those of you who choose to believe that everything in the bible literally happened I'm not saying I know anything 100% for certain. However, I do know that in Jewish Mysticisim, the Kabbalah, they have come to see the Torah in a very different way. They see the stories as an allegory. This is one of the reason that Jewish tradition has been able to put aside ritual animal sacrifices and evolve. Of course, it's unknown if such practices would begin again if the Temple were reubilt in Jerusalem but that's unlikely to happen. Visions and Revelations Of The Bible Especially when it comes to the visions in the Bible we run into problems when we take it all so literally. Especially symbols. Dreams and visions are all symbolic. Symbols, whether from a vision or dream are always very personal to the individual who experienced them. This is why there are 'mystery schools.' Not everyone wanted to study this stuff and once you reach a certain point what you describe to people who do not have peak experiences sounds like nonsnese to their literal minds. Visions and Revelations, just don't really translate into literal truths or predictions very often. Yes, there is a caveat there because I've had dreams that come true but they often do not take the exact form of the dream or what the dream symbols represented were only understood after the event. Take for example, the dream I took to mean that my Daughter Lilith-Ann would be born healthy. The dream involved Pirates of the Caribbean...it's only later that I realized that ride at Disneyland represetned death to me or a journey to the "underworld." I remember reading the Left Behind Christian books. I would read the part of Revelation that it was supposed to be describing or fulfilling in the books. Sure, it starts off strong but then the symbolisim really becomes muddy. Some of Revelation just does not translate literally and the authors struggled to come up with what a literal event would be like and it dissolved into an impossible soap opera. Now, I know, I know. We grew up in churches with people who preached fire and brimstone. To teach that they would quote the book of Revelation. You only have one life. If you don't live this life in fear of God and his commandments you will burn in hell eternally...which is based on the one small part of Revelation that mentions a lake of fire. At the end of the day, how many times does Jesus tell anyone in the New Testament that they bettter get right with him or they're going to Hell? Jesus never did. He taught something very different from those who read revelation and see the destruction of this planet prior to Jesus bringing a new Kingdom to them. I've watched the Doomsday Christian Theorists who believe in the Illumaniti (fearing them and giving them more power then they give God) and it's disheartening to see thousands of other people viewing them. When you watch those videos they misinterpert symbols everywhere. They assign their own personal meanings to them and they are all fear based. Everything is Satanic that's not Christian. Even the Triangle (which represents the trinity in church artwork?) is Satanic. You finish watching those videos and if your sensitive to the energy they put out you feel anxious at best, scared to say the least, and at the worst paranoid. I litearlly tried to watch one a few days ago and it was such a low vibration I wanted to puke aferward and I promised myself I will not contaminate this baby with that negativity. I felt much the same way after reading the Left Behind books. What good is it to imagine end of the world scenarios? Espeially if you think you're the special one who will be raptured (which is not a concept that's actually is used by the church to describe a phenomenon in Revelations but isn't called that in Revelations)? If you think your part of the elite who cares what happens to the rest unless you are holding a grudge against most of humanity and want to see them punished? Most people who seem focused on the Doomsday Apocaplypse seem to hold a grudge against the world. I'm thinking the person who said, "Love yoru neighbor as you love yourself," wouldn't recongnize that thinking. Living in fear wasn't something that Jesus seemed to do or teach his followers...let alone *ANY* of the prophets. They said get right with God or you'll be punished...and sometimes people paid attention and saved the kingdom or the they ignored it leading their society to ruin including the nation of Israel. Fear, as even Star Wars points out, turns into resentment, which turns into hate...and turns you to the Dark Side. That's actually basic psychology. You only have grudges against people you fear or those who've hurt you. The Law And Commandments. Yes, you can sit there and talk about the literal Law and Commandments in the bible...but what blew my mind is in the Kabbalah that's just guidance to the unitiated who don't know the deeper mysteries. Once you are initiated and study the deeper mysteries you won't see any reason to break those commandments...they are common sense. You would never want to hurt anyone because hurting them is like cutting off your big toe for fun. The law and commandments, then, were created for people who were not wise. This was the knowledge that would help them foster a communtiy that would thrive and survive the dark ages of humanity (hint, hint, we're not out of them yet but we're getting close) but that was never where society was meant to stop their instruction. I think of it like learning your ABC's but then never bothering to learn how to read. You know those are letters on sign, a paper, or a book. You can identify the letters...but you can't string them together to form a word let alone use them to convey a concept. That's how law and commandments are used in our society. Laws have gotten out of control to the point in California where in one year 900 laws can be passed. No one can possibly know all of those laws...the attorneys have to look them up but it's doubtful even the lawmakers know all of the laws in the state. At some point when your passing hundreds of laws every year and hardly ever eliminating them...they cease to have an affect on the general population. The laws are only followed when asking for permission to do something from the state to build or create a business. We should take spiritual Laws and the commandments in the bible seriously but even if we memorize every page of Leviticus...it's doubtful we'll be any wiser in our day to day activities with other people. All The Same Stories Negates Them When you take the Bible and the Sumerian tales...or any of the other tales you find something fascinating. In a a Comparitve Religion class you might walk away thinking that, "Hey, it's all the same thing. Everyone stole the same ideas from everyone else or they were all inspired by Mother Nature." So, taking the way the stories evolved literally can mean you loose faith. The issue with that is there is plenty of evidence that the reason why certain stories evolved in a particular way was because it was easier for the teacher to relay to the student. Only upon further questions (which is how it worked for all of the shamanic practices of ancient tribes and of mystery schools) would the stories be filled in and the person would undrstand how the metaphoric journey relates to them and their place in the cosmos. Take the sacred Dogon Granary that Laird Scranton is always talking about. Everyone knows about the granary in the community. But the granaries they use are not exactly what they are taught. What they are taught is not practical and applicable...this hints that it relates to a wider and deeper symbolic meaning that has to do with a big picture of the cosmos. A curious person would ask, "Why is what we build not what we are taught..." and thus their initiation into the mystery religion would begin. A good deal of the people aren't curious and only focus on the practical application. Yet, you could dismiss it as a tribe that doesn't understand architecture passing on flawed information. Never mind that they literally describe how stars form and how the cells of the human fetus multiply during conception. What if all of these stories have come from the same source that was tring to convey a message to us? What if at the start of the current human civilization we could only think literally because there was a fall of intellect due to a spiritual fall? Beings that came from outside our material reality (in spirit or other dimensions) could understand metaphor and these deeper processes of the universe would try to relate the concepts as best they could through symbol and metaphor...so they would try to descirbe literal symbols the people understood but could only unlock the deeper meaning when thinking deeply on it and with a little scientific knowledge. The Annunaki Then we have the phenomemon of the Aunnunaki. When you take someone who's literal but a believer...we end up with this theory. That the God's of old were actual beings but Aliens portraying themselves as Gods. That they came to Earth and we were (or still are) slaves. Since certain goddesses always represent the same concepts- they're all one Long Lived Alien playing the role of each in each culture. So, Isis, Ishtar, Inanna, Diana, Aphrodite...are the same alien being interfering with human life. Then certain people are reprsented by their personal symbols whenever that symbol pops up in a stroy it means that Alien Being passing themselves off as God was there in the flesh. I fell for it, I admit, for a bit. I love Zachiriah Stitchin's books but it never felt completely right to me...instead, it always felt like a good science fiction novel. Yet, he weaved religions together in such a blend that it was almost believeable that there was this great conspiracy hidden with the depths of ancient myth and religion. When I really started to undrstand how Myth/Symbols/Visions/Dreams work...I realized it was all complete bunk. Maybe, aliens were involved on some level of our creation but the deeper stories of those myths...the abstract allegories...are the same and speak to the same human inner conditions we all have. No alien or being has control over our spiritual development...not even a government has control over that because no one needs to know your studying it. There are so many tools and so much information out there to help people the only person hindering anyone...is ourselves. Yet, if it helps people to see that all myth and all religion are just the same reflection of the One Thing or the One Creator...it does help humanitie's spiritual evolution so I can't hate it totally. However, the Annunaki Theory is only plausible to someone who takes everyting literally and has never had Peak Experienecs of their own. Until you have your own Peak Experiences you will never understand them because it's like being introdued to an invisible world that was always there but you couldn't perceive. Conclusion Symbols are completely subjective. They can be interperted multiple ways. All religions and myths are based on symbols. They have an internal personal meaning to the individual who experiences them and they are not meant to be applied to the outer world. As you spiritually progress you will start out thinking literally. That's how the human brain is naturally evolved to find patterns and relate them to the physical world which think is All-That-Is. However, when you develop your imagination the world of Spirit becomes more accessable. The Chakra system is entirely imaginative/abstract. If you cut someone up you will not find different colored lotus's along their spine. Yet, it has been proven to work. Yes, perhaps it is the power of 'faith' at work because the person puts faith into the idea...but if that were true then imagination should work to heal most maladies. Visions are the same way. When we encounter a symbol, to understand it we have to think about how we personally relate to the symbol and how we would generally desribe it to others. Then we can conceive what Spirit meant to convey by showing us the symbol. Spirit is non-material but our conscious minds cannot and have never been...able to conceive of 'non-materiality.' So, spirit shows us symbols we can meditate on to communicate. All myths, visions, and religions are the communciation of Spirit speaking on the behalf of The One Creator. We will cover that more in depth in the Next Markers On The Path post on Friday. I don't read too many fictional books. However, this book came across the desk of my friend Jennifer Lara who does book reviews. She passed them onto me because she knows my interests spans classical and pagan religions.
This book had a lot of potential. The Bear and the Nightengale captured the same feel as the wildly popular Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley. The book tackled that part of hte middle ages where the old religions of Europe were being replaced by Christianity. The book takes place in Russian so it's a fresh wealth of material that I was new to and...then the book let me down. Granted, I read this in the span of two days when I was working two eight hour shifts. The book is easy to read. There are some exceedingly slow points but at the very heart of it there was a "magic" that, as I said, captured some of the magic of Marion Zimmber Bradley's Mists of Avalon. The author acknowledges it's a fairy tale which I think caused her to take a safer route as opposed to a more dramatic novel. Also disappointing, is the same major cricticisim I have of Mists of Avalon. Where instead of mixing the two spiritual points of view and having the maini charecter meld them...there is the suggestion that the two points of view of the Guardian Spirits and Christianity had to be at war with each other. I understand Christianity waged wars with Christians...but does there always have to be an evil Christian priest that tires to kill the woman? The book also fails when it comes to the villians. For a bit, it's the Christian Priest. Then it turns out to be the 'bear' from the title which is completley underdevelope and not explained. Also, the Spirit of Winter, that needed Vasilia is not explored at all. The focus could have easily been on the relationship between the Spirit of Winter (a spirit of death apparently) and his brother the Bear (a spirit of life...that can create zombies). There was so much rich material there that wasn't covered...because the author dabbled in the Christian vs. Pagan narrative. I wish she had gone a little bit further in depth when it comes to the reason for the story. Even though the Winter Spirit plays the main role...it's his undeveloped brother who gets the main title...and a single scene where her magical horse is a bird which added just another thin layer that was never really explained to the mix. I assume, with the horse, there is a mythical background but it's not conveyed in the book at all. This book had a lot of potential. I cannot say that it was well written. The author should have chosen one storyline or the other to focus on more in depth. Yet, somehow even with two weak undeveloped villians (one we had seen before in the Evil Priest) she made it work. I do recommend this book...its a bit like Twilight meets Mists of Avalon but because it tries to do too much doesn't reach the depth either of those books did. A lot of us are raised thinking our emotions and sexual urges are bad. When we have an emotional reaciton to something our parents usually get upset and tell us it's not right. In the United States we live in a society that has frozen emotions for a long time. People would prefer to be a robot to being an emotional or sexual human being. All of those emotions have to go somewhere and so they go into the Shadow. This is a mental construct that we start building of our disowned aspects as a child and add to throughout adulthood unless we become cionsciously aware of it. The shadow is a concept that Carl Jung coined. He said that each person creaetes a dark palce within themselves. That dark place is where the send all of their undesired pieces. All of the undesired urges or feelings or thoughts or behaviors. Here is a direct quote from Carl Jung: "The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. ... One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." What Happens When You Disown The Shadow? By casting out all of these ideas, concepts, urges and thoughts into this shadow we disown them. Then they take on a life of their own. We denial our emotional heirtage as human beings. We become less human and more robotic or Zombie like. This is why I call people who are not awake Zombies. They go about controlled by urges they do not comprehend. The reason they don't comprehend where the emotions come from is because they have shoved that part of themselves into their shadow so deeply they no longer reconize it as being a part of themselves. Anyone who has problems with rage and depression knows how the Shadow can hold onto them. How it seems to control them. They may resort to the idea that 'demons' are plaguing them or someone has 'cursed' them. This is not true at all...in fact, it allows the person to distance themselves even further from the aspect of themselves that they wish to disown. The people in such states are not dealing with the Repressed feelings within the Shadow...and so become controlled by them. Their fear of dealing withi that repressed item causes them to go to great lengths to deny that it occurs. Starts In Childhood Now, this process starts when your a child. Your parents say don't do this and don't do that. That's not nice, etc. All of the experiences that brought you pain or sadness are usually sent to the shadow. If you have a horrible experience you don't understand in child hood...it goes into the shadow. That aspect needs to be healed but few people are courageous enough to return to that memory and heal it. They try to ignore it, they bury it and they may forget about it...but there it is in the shadow waiting for the individual to reach out and look at it with a new filter...a new perspctive (which is the greatest form of healing). Emotions in particular are usualy sent to the shadow because most parents tell their kids not to cry or be angry which are natural important reactions to stimulus. They are very approrpiate at times. They are very powerful tools in transformation. All of the things your parents say you shouldn't think or do goes straight to the shadow where it is forgotten because you think that having those feelings, urges, questions or ideas will harm you. As An Adult As an adult you continue to operate under the belief that these concepts are not acceptable and you may add to them with experience. I've encountered many people who were at odds with themselves. They knew they had a part of themselves that they did not understand...that they denied...but they didn't have the right filter to comprhend it and their suffering was immeasurable. All of this goes into the subconscious and you are not aware of where the urges come from to do certain things. In fact, it controls your entire state of mind resulting in either anger issues or depression. This can lead to extreme schizophrenia as the human being literally rejects their humanity and reality. For me, at one point even trying to do something was hard because I always felt defeated. As though no matter how I tried things never worked out so why bother? I felt this huge weight. I was frozen in life because I felt that no matter what I would do it would be a huge uphill battle. A lot of people who've created a big shadow don't even understand the urges that they have or why the behave a certain way. Any form of release from the presence of the shadow...whether its drugs or alcohol. Embracing The Shadow Don't hide from your emotions. Dig deeply into them and meditate on them. If you like to write have a journal. When you experience an uncomfortable emotion write about it. Usually, it will come out when you disowned a reaction to a situation. Just this week on Peter Woodbury's personal Facebook there was a huge discussion. He posted this Meme: If you prefer to talk it out and you have a good friend that will listen without offering advice or trying to 'fix' the situation then call them up. If you don't have a friend capable of that support try finding a therapist.
Once you can identify the emotion you can feel it. Describe how it feels in your body. Don't fight it. Describe what it makes you think. Does it remind you of a memory? Does it remind you of a person? This is where you develop the Heart of Compassion. Yes, sometimes, it feels like this process can be endless. You're constantly discovering a new aspect of yourself that you had hidden or buried and integrating it. However, this process is so crucial to your development because it brings everything into your consciousness. Depression, manic behavior and anger issues disappear. You've identified where they come from and released them. This awareness brings an amazing amount of freedom and a depth to life that one cannot experience until they allow themselves to Feel the full range of their emotions. Conclusion While this process can be really long sometimes it is immensely rewarding. If we do not Embrace our Shadow and integrate it back into ourselves, forgiving ourselves for those feelings, emotions and urges that we froze out because they did not feel safe...we are forever trapped in the past. The energy of the Past is with us and we have urges that we don't feel we can control. We are not completely conscious of ourselves and that lids to a lot of disease. This is the first step of accepting and loving ourselves. When we find the ability to forgive ourselves and realize all of those emotions or urges were natural we can forgive them in others. This results in one of the deeper healings a person can achieve on their path to Wholeness.
Although it was a little bit of a tough week I managed to get his video done.
Unfortunately, I picked up a bit of a cold. So, I'm not going to do the behind the scenes what I was thinking on this video. I think it covers enough of things and I really enjoyed the part at the end where I tied it to the Hopi story of the Four worlds. I hope you enjoy. Here is a fascinating quote about how we currently are in the same state of the animal from the Bhagavad-gita As It Is by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. 18:22 That sort of knowledge which is attached to one kind of work as well as all in all, without knowledge of the truth, and which is very meager, is said to be in the mode of darkness." Purport The knowledge of the common man is always in the mode of darkness because every living entity in conditional life is born into the mode of darkness, without proper knowledge. Therefore, if one does not develop knowledge through the authorities or scriptual injunctions, his knowledge is focused upon the maintenance of the body. He has no concern about acting in terms of the directions of scripture. For him God is money, and knowledge means the satisfaction of the bodily demands. Such knowledge has no connection with Absolute Truth. It is more or less like the knowledge of ordinary animals, which only deals with eating, sleeping, defending, and mating. Such knoweldge is described as being in the mode of darkness. In other words, knowledge in the mode of goodness, knowledge producing many theories and doctrines through mundane logic and mental speculation is the product of hte mode of passion, and knoweldge concerned only with the keeping the body comfortable is said to be in the mode of ignorance." pg 261 Here is another one from The Path of The Kabbalah by Rav Michael Laitman PhD: "The society we live in is flooded with the perpetual pursuit of beastly (corporeal) pleasures such as money, glory, and sex. It is impossible to sin in such a state, and it is just as impossible to keep Mitzvot (commandments). This is simply not spirituality. However, there is hope in that situation, provided we are willing to restrict the use of our desires, or to better phrase it, direct our desires for spirituality. When that happens, we are admitted into the first degree in the spiritual world, where there is a Light many times stronger than the one shining in our world. We ask for a screen (filter) in order to resist animate pleasures and refrain from receiving them for ourselves, butonly with the intent "for the Creator." We obtain a screen and thus correct our first degree. After that we ascend to the next degree, in which we are faced with an even greater will to receive and consequently a greater Light. By acquiring a screen with a greater anti-egoist power, we correct that degree as well, and continue to climb..." prg 101 Chapter 2.8 The Right Way To Advance |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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