I've been thinking about adding an About the Author section to this website.
However, I just really think that a short biography would work just as well under that heading. Of course, what is relevant to such a biography. Should I cover my entire life story? Should I just focus on my Awakening Experiences? This made writing this a little bit more difficult then I expected but I'm a bit satisfied with this. I don't really like being nailed into a tiny little box saying, "I am this," because we are all far more expansive then this but there are plenty of other information in various other posts. I am happily married to Ross Korns. We own a beautiful house. I have two dogs, Apollo and Angel. Two cats, Monster and Harley. A red tail boa snake named Speeder. Education and Work History Here in the United States we judge everyone for what they do for a living and their education. I think that's one of the saddest things about our culture because I don't really think that either reflects a persons consciousness. Besides, knowledge does not necessarily translate into wisdom. In our education system- all through college- people who can memorize things are rewarded over those who can actually come up with creative solutions. The people with creative solutions, however, are the most valuable employees. That said I have a Business Associates from the University of Phoenix. I have a Bachelor's In The Science of Psychology Finally,I have a Masters in Business Administration My work experience is mostly customer service- I have worked in restaurants, hotels, coffee shops (Starbucks) and grocery stores. I also worked for five years loading trailers at UPS (2000-2005). I worked as an Assistant Manager for two years at a rental car company. I currently work as a Barrista at a Starbucks because my focus is on creating my family which has been a daunting challenge but you'll have to keep reading to hear that entire story. My First Awakening Like most people a traumatic experience is what started me on the Spiritual Path of the Seeker. When my Grandma Alta died abruptly in the late 1990's I began to question everything. I was already struggling after moving to the city from the rural locations I was used to and finding myself an outcast. I didn't have much information to go on in my Spiritual Journey...my mother was highly superstitious and somewhat open to spirituality but not very knowledgeable. My father was not interested. My mom had tried taking us to church but I hated it. The people I encountered at church were just not nice. I always had an intuitive emphatic mind and I could pick up on fake shallow people. My Grandfather Douglas McMasters was known as the Dreamer of Muscoy...but my mother didn't really understand my Grandfather. He didn't really teach her much. Although, he offered to teach her to have Out of Body Experiences it didn't work because she can't be hypnotized. She was a teenager when he died (the year she gave birth to me) and she was more worried about physical reality then learning anything spiritual from him. However, my mom did buy me my first Oracle Card Set. Brian Froud's Faery Oracle because I had collected Faery and Butterfly themed items all of my life. When I sat down to do the meditation at the start of that book I was surprised by the result. I could feel my energy field and it was immense. Also, I came across a book in my Grandfather's collection about Edgar Cacye (there weren't many esoteric books among the collection my mom had so I'm not sure why I was drawn to that one) and that was the start of my interest in in the Sleeping Prophet. My mom wouldn't let me have it and somewhere along the way she has since gotten rid of it so I have no idea what that book was but it sparked a deep love for the Edgar Cacye material in me. I read the Bible from cover to cover and decided to get baptized but almost all of my knowledge of spirituality came from that (aside from the Edgar Cacye book which was also very Christian). All of that went out the window when I moved out of my parents house in rebellion. I really didn't pursue the matter further. Second Awakening The second time I started to explore spirituality again was while I was living in Big Bear California. I had left my abusive and lazy ex-husband in a bizarre experience I've described elsewhere. This was around 2005-2007. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I was having panic attacks. The psychologist I saw in the mountains (I did not go to the Psychiatrist again) taught me how to meditate and I was introduced to Pema Chodron's Books that I love. I started studying Buddhism and the panic attacks ceased. I became used to living up in the Mountains and got a job. I really got into studying the Annunaki at that point. There wasn't much else out there on spirituality at that time. I mostly got drawn into the 2012 hooplah. There was *some* good information but not much. I did a lot of healing and growing. I went back to college..at first only intending to get my Business Associates...I had no idea I wouldn't stop for 6 years and would end up with an MBA. The process was easy for me, school always had been, I just never liked the social aspect. I was pretty sure I was self-actualized at this point...or had attained as much as a spiritual level of achievement as possible. Although, I know that's not true now I had grown a lot since I had moved up to the mountains and absolutely believe that attracted the wonderful man that has been my husband for the last 8 years into my life. I stopped watching television at this time. No news, no television shows. I preferred reading. That all stopped when I met my current husband, moved out with him and married him in 2010. I wasn't even aware of the 2012 drama when that went down because I was really busy working and meeting the goals we set as a couple. Third Awakening This last Awakening was really brutal. I was an assistant manager at the time focused on making money. I was working 12-15 hour days most of the time. For about three years I really didn't have the time to even think about anything other then work and sales. My husband and I were looking for a house and decided to try having a child. Now, I knew I had difficulties but those had been blamed on the other person I was with by other doctors in the past. I did my research, found a set of doctors that were decent and became pregnant. I knew something was wrong with the pregnancy. I begged the doctors to put me out on leave. I went to the E.R. at three different hospitals. I was diagnosed with a gallbladder issue. My general doctor put me out for three weeks. The week I returned to week my daughter was born at 23 weeks. Lilith-Ann wasn't developed enough to breathe on her own. After doing some research we took her off of life support because her quality of life just wasn't going to improve. I could tell she suffered. Then three weeks later my gallbladder was diagnosed as septic and I had my gallbladder removed. I had major panic attacks after that and severe depression. I couldn't even bring myself to leave the house. I had two Psychiatrists tell me I would never be able to survive without psychiatric medication, "This is not something you can heal," they told me. What a bunch of nonsense! At that point I just threw out all of the old garbage I had heard about being afraid of spirituality. About how pursuing spirituality outside of the church was heretical. I didn't care what friends and family thought about me if I started to pursue the Spiritual Path. I felt that I had lost everything. Luckily, my husband stuck by me through all of it. Church and the bible based on the dogmatic way it was taught did not offer me any comfort. I went out and had a Past Life Regression which was life changing. I went back to meditating regularly. With my busy work lifestyle I hadn't been able to do that in a very long time. At first, I couldn't hold my seat no matter how hard I tried so I started doing walking meditations and meditating as I prepared meals. A year passed before I could sit and actually do the mindfulness meditation I had learned when living in the mountains. I taught myself how to cook. A year after Lilith-Ann passed away I became pregnant again. However, I had an early first trimester miscarriage. The doctor, after sending me to find out the severity of my Septate-Bicornuate Uterus told me that I was unlikely to ever be able to carry a child and that I was a good candidate for surrogacy. He sent me to a college friend that had a Fertility Clinic who said the same thing. I was devastated. Surrogacy was not something I could afford. I continued with my healing work and began researching my condition. I went to a doctor recommended by a friend. He referred me to a USC expert who said that the Septum could be removed. I had a combination bicornuate/septated uterus. There was reason to hope. He referred me to Cedar Sinai so that the surgery would be covered and the Septum was removed in 2017. The surgery was complicated when they perforated my uterus and two weeks later I was in the Emergency Room for excessive hemorrhaging. By that time I had returned to the workforce returning to the job I love most- A Barista. Some, when they find out my education and experience, ask me why I would work there. I can only reply that I have the right to choose where I want to work and owe no one an explanation. Now, I'm 23 weeks pregnant and everything is going smoothly. I don't have panic attacks and I have been off of psychiatric drugs for over two years. Both were accomplishments I was told I would never achieve. I really thank my spiritual studies for giving me the fortitude to find the right O.B. doctor and helping me heal my mind. If I had listened to the experts I'd probably be on disability and still afraid to walk out the front door. I discovered that the Path of the Seeker is a psychological one. All of it has to do with the quality of your consciousness and it does require you to do some work on yourself. That's where it differs from what mainstream religion offer...you can do something to help yourself and you're not at the whim of powerful forces outside of your control. I have been attracted to higher quality teachers and information in the last four years that I never encountered in the 2005-2007 period. I've shared quite a few of them as headings in the categories area. There are more I need to add and I have shared my opinions on books that I have read with the Book Review section. Healing is possible. No matter how many experts tell you otherwise. The mental health system we have in this country is completely and utterly useless unless you want to be labeled as mentally ill and put into a disabled stupor the rest of your life. As Maslow explained, "When all you have is a hammer everyone becomes a nail." They are not in the business of healing people...let alone poor people. I now reside in a state of peace and joy I never thought possible. That's why I wanted to share this information with other people. I see them struggling and suffering. I want to share what worked for me so that they will hopefully gain something from the information that they can apply in their life. I could walk away and just enjoy the peacefulness and joy I feel without trying to reach out to others. That would be really easy but I believe in being the change I want to see in the world. That doesn't mean I want to intervene in other peoples lives...I just want to share some gentle support to those who are drawn to it and the hope that the knowledge I have gained will be put into effect in their lives so that they can generate their own peaceful and joyful life.
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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