(The above image is from Mt. Rubidoux in Riverside California January 12 2020).
As some of you may have noticed I went absent around December and popped up again recently. This was partly to do with the fact that I couldn't find the charger for my laptop and partly to do with the fact I was in a bit of a crisis for a while. This blog is about to get weird. I'm just letting you know right now. If you are not into the weird esoteric right brain not so logical side of spirituality that is not based in hard science like thought...it's time for you to bail. For those of you willing to walk on the wild side thank you an advance for giving this even a moments thought. I'm being very vulnerable in writing this as I am more of a left brain logical thinker thanks to the 'conditioning' (programming) of my college education that is heavy in the patriarchal yang energy that has dominated the planet. I am not a hard core feminist. To get ahead in this world I adopted a very masculine approach. I've done hard labor loading trailers. I could keep up with the best of the guys. I was very much of the Group Think when I was younger. Having studied the Divine Masculine and Feminine I don't think they could exist without one another. In a world where there is only one masculine God portrayed by multiple religions that will kill those who do not believe in it...it's hard to be someone who appreciates both archetypes. I am guilty of blaming my husband, originally, for the crisis I went through in December through the first part of January. I thought it was brought on by stress. He was home for two weeks and we had a lot of meaningful family engagements occurring during those two weeks.Things had been ramping up between us as he continues to be secretive. I had planned way in advance for Christmas 2019 because I was hoping to be pregnant and that it would go smoothly. Instead it was pretty awful. Thankfully, although originally disappointed by it, I wasn't pregnant because that would have made that time period and this Coronavirus experience so much worse. Everything is in Divine Order! A Little Background The events started with the end of a cycle of dreams that I had since I was a small child. I have already written that blog and it will follow this one. While it is with great trepidation that I say this- I think the crises was brought on by something spiritual. I am guilty of being a bit of a bliss bunny. I focus on the positive side of the spiritual experience. I have no desire to feed the perceptions of duality or the battle of good vs. evil/ light vs darkness. My research and internal explorations (highly influenced by psychology) have led to the fact that I now believe there is no way to 'win' such a war...and knowing that we are all One at the level of the One Creator there is no doubt within my mind that the only way to end such a conflict is not the Yang energy of battle but the Yin battle of receptivity...in other words integrating the shadow By integration the Shadow on our level of Creation we are literally deconstructing all of the levels that have been in a non-violent but loving manner, through many spiritual belief systems, been associated with Hell and helping to create 'a new heaven' just as Yeshua prophesied. I honestly believe the Earth Plane is a bit of a cosmic gate way to the Heavenly Realms and the Hell Realms. The Hell Realms, in essence, were created by the though forms of human beings that didn't know they were Creators. That's not a new idea- the concept of Midgard on the Nordic tree of life is well known even if that religion was utterly destroyed. The idea that we are Creators that created the Hell Realms and had to be sealed away from the rest of the Tree of Life is not new either as the Jewish Kabbalah hints at that (and perhaps some dark teachings say it out right but those are probably oral or not something you could buy on Amazon). I bypassed all of those levels of the Tree of Life and went straight to the One Creator who is both Light and Dark. Both A.U.O. (Absolute Unbounded Oneness) and A.U.M. (Absolute Unbounded Multiplicity). The Light is often associated with the Male Yang principal that creates via ideals and the darkness with the Receptive Yin energy that is latent potentiality of everything. In computer terms you could call the Yin energy the Operating System that runs in the background and the Yang the code that creates the specific applications (Apps) with the result being our reality. Yet, the Yin and Yang are not the One Creator that is composed of both qualities. I recognize that there has been a battle between the Darkness and the Light. I don't when it started or how long it has been going on. I believe the idea of Shadow Work has ended that war. What we are now seeing is the birth of something new as a result of that war ending. Of course, it's all within Divine Timing because it coincides with the Astrology. The Astrology The energy of Rebirth is potent for everyone right now. Those of us who have strong Capricorn and Cancer in the charts are really experiencing this energy. If you read my Jupiter/Pluto conjunction blog where I sought to provide as much information for your own evaluation of 'The Event'....I was not a believer! I was very much a skeptic. The entire reason I started paying attention to Astrology was to study the classic 7 planets and their symbols. I didn't get into it because I thought it was predictive or had much to do with our personal lives. That our fortune could be told in the Stars seemed a fairy tale. Having dived into the symbolism of astrology (which is deeply related to alchemy) I became absolutely fascinated. Well, my skepticism went out the window on December 25th. (I think the skepticism of many people went out the window because of the Coronovirus.) On December 25th we had Capricorn Solar Eclipse. On January 10th we had a Cancer Lunar Eclipse Then we had the Saturn/Pluto Conjunction in Capricorn on January 12th Right now the North Node is in Cancer. Now the North Node is not actually a celestial body but a hypothetical spot based on "points where the moon goes nor or south of the equator" (Granny Rainbow, High School Astrology pg 131). The North Node, hypothetically, is where we are heading in our evolution...the direction we are going towards in our lives. Right now we are headed to this very Yin Mothering energy. In Vedic astrology the North Node is called Rahu and it's the head of a demon. The head is eternal because the demon swallowed the elixir of immortality before being killed. I will go into some speculation and synchronization with this myth in a much longer blog. The South Node, naturally, is in the opposite House of Capricorn. The South Node is what we are leaving behind or letting go of as the past. In Vedic astrology it's called Ketu. This is, in evolutionary astrology, what we are leaving behind. As you can tell the energy right now on the cosmological level is all focused on Cancer and Capricorn. Both are Yin (Feminine/Receptive Energy) signs. Cancer is the Sign of the Mother. Capricorn is the sign of Structure. My Personal Astrological Correspondence To The Current Astrology The reason I probably got slammed by this cosmic energy is obvious when I look at my chart. First, there is my Sun Sign. The Sun Sign is the one that everyone is familiar with because it's the one that you would find in the Newspaper. I am a Cancer Sun Sign. Within Cancer is my North Node. That means that my entire life has been heading in the direction of being a mother. Also, when I was born there was a complete Lunar Eclipse which means the light of the sun could not reach the Moon because it was blocked by the Earth. The moon was literally cut off from the sun.I think that's very interesting. I have never really heard a good explanation for what that means although I probably will later this year (as the same event is occurring on July 4th!). Second, my Ascendant and Moon sign is Capricorn. Obviously, a Moon Sign means that the moon was in the sign of Cancer. The ascendant is a little bit different. That was the sign on the horizon when I was born. Add to that the fact that my South Node is in Capricorn and I have that much more energy in the sign of Capricorn. I also have Black Moon Lilith (the first wife of Adam) and Juno (Eve in the bible or Hera in Greek mythology) in Capricorn which is an entirely different complex subject I won't touch on here.I will say it gives that sign an added dose of feminine energy and weight. Also, my chart is something called an 'Interception' meaning that I am missing certain astrological houses (Aquarius and Leo) and I have particular Astrological houses twice. My Interception is Cancer/Capricorn. So Capricorn is both my 1st house of identity and 12th house of 'undoing.' My fifth and sixth houses are Cancer. So, I have twice as much energy in these two house which are super activated right now. Oh, and Saturn and Pluto are conjunct in my chart. From what I can gather based on the Astrologers I listen to (Acuyta Bhava Daas, Anastasia the Cosmic Astrologer, Molly Mccord and the Leo King David Palmer) this means that I am undergoing one heck of a dismantling and rebirth of identity (1st house) and in the 12th house which Granny Rainbow in High School Astrology relates as "Ocean, Oneness, infinity, return to Source) or in other words Soul/Subconscious. At the same time there is a lot going on in my 6th house (Integration/Career) and 7th house (Partnership/Marriage). Based on all of that it makes absolute sense that I'm getting my butt kicked by this Eclipse Season. What Happened? Well, to start off with I had two dreams. The first dream I will go into detail in the next blog (End Of A Dream Cycle #1). In that dream an ever present character in my dreams (referred to as my brother but not my physical brother) was removed. That dream honestly had me floating on cloud nine. That dream coincided with David Palmer saying that he was seeing a split in the Collective Consciousness.That has to do with the splitting of timelines and what people call 5th dimensional Earth and 3rd dimensional Earth. I've talked about Timelines elsewhere and I will touch on this briefly in the next blog. The Failed Student Dream This one freaked me out. I had another dream which I will go into detail here. I was in a Muslim classroom tutoring a girl as she worked on answering a quiz. I knew that I was a tutor for all of the classrooms. I looked up because one of the students, dressed in the colors of Iran's flag, slammed down his book. I knew that he was being expelled from the school never to return because he had failed. He had done something very wrong that would lead to a lot of deaths, and in particular, the death of a lot of people in his own country. I was horrified by this and looked up at his teacher telling him, "This is all your fault. You're a terrible teacher." The Teacher replied, "Who are you to say that to me?" When I told him who my teacher was (which I wasn't allowed to hear so I knew I was replying but I don't know what that reply was- this happens often) he went pale. I woke up in a cold sweat. I told my husband, my Dad and my Mom about this dream. I theorized that he would set off a nuclear bomb that would fail because that's the only way I could see so much death, especially in Iran, as a result. I also knew 'the student' would die. For me the Classroom symbol, as I hinted at in my Earth Is An Incubator Blog, doesn't represent the Earth to me. Instead, it represents the Spiritual Realm we go after we die. This realm (described in books like Journey of Souls) is a little like Limbo. We study there and prepare before we are cycled back into the Earth experience. So, this person wasn't just killed physically- he was expelled from the entire cycle of reincarnation. That never really happens. Well, this turned out to be predictive. Qassim Sulemani was killed by a drone strike right after and I believe he was the one from the dream. That really freaked me out. Add to that the fact that Iran has been ravaged by the Coronavirus with a huge death toll considering it's small size. Christmas Day I knew I was not doing too well on Christmas Eve but I still made it to my parents and celebrated Christmas. I remember showing my mother all of the Grounding Rocks I had. I told her I was having major anxiety and about the Failed Student Dream and what I'm calling the Levitation dream. My mom knew I wasn't doing well because I didn't take pictures and I actually sat down and watched the television. When I enter this altered state, which is what I have to call it, everything suddenly makes sense. The synchronicity is off the charts and it's like a queasy dream. I say queasy because it's similar to feeling like I have motion sickness. I've entered it before at acutely stressful periods in my life and usually in March not December. I will get into this very uncomfortable topic in End Of A Dream Cycle #2. Christmas Day, sense I was in this altered state of consciousness, I was babbling. My husband pretty much quarantined me to my room. He thought I had been sleeping and didn't realize that the state of being (we call it crises mode) was because of my dreams. He gave me sleeping pills but they didn't have any effect. The end result was I pretty much missed Christmas except for some awkward moments here and there. I mostly spent it crying because I felt this really deep sorrow and fear. I was able to distance myself from the experience and become the observer during this time. I became aware that my husband reflected back to me a similar state. He was in a crises himself with an altered state of consciousness where time and events went just as weird but he would not consciously admit it. He does admit that he doesn't remember much about those two weeks. This altered state of consciousnesses slowly wore off and was pretty much at an end on January 12th. The Saturn/Pluto Conjunction I really wanted to get out of the house so we went to a bunch of places while I was in crisis. One was the a beautiful Nature Preserve in Long Beach. On the actual day of the Saturn/Pluto Conjunction, however, I climbed a mountain. I let the husband decide where we were going to go (I was pretty much just along for the ride at this point). We went to Mount Rubidoux in Riverside. The experience was surreal. I was pushing my daughters stroller. People blessed me for pushing the stroller up the steep path of the mountain. My daughter had a blast. One African American woman stopped me and said she knew that my daughter was a Miracle Baby. I had Michelle dressed in boys clothes (dinosaurs) because I didn't want any of her lighter girly clothes to get stained by dirt if she ended up playing while we were there. At the top of this Mountain was a huge open air cathedral with a cross. Apparently, back in the day it was the location everyone went to (including celebrities) for Easter Service. (Strange that I am writhing this on April 11th 2020, the day before Easter). The location was absolutely stunning. I couldn't help but think of the connection with Capricorn and the Goat. The symbol of Capricorn is of the Sea-Goat. The story (you can look it up under the mythology section of Capricorn in Wikipedia) goes that the Constellation is of Amalthea- the Sea Goat that suckled Zeus when his mother Rhea threw him into the sea to keep him from being eaten by Kronos (I love the name Rhea and actually had a character in one of my books named that. I had no idea it was a part of a myth!). The constellation is also said to be Pricus. Pricus was the father of the Sea Goats (half fish and half goat). His children would climb out of the sea and up a mountain eventually becoming normal goats. Kronos (Saturn) had given him a device so that he could turn back time to bring his children home. Eventually, he gave up on keeping his children in the sea and asked to die but was turned into the constellation of Capricorn instead. The Sea-Goat is seen as very stubborn, as you can tell and climbs that mountain! So, to find myself climbing a mountain to a place that was idealized version of where Christ was crucified was very symbolic. Conclusion The Saturn/Pluto Eclipse Sandwich was a difficult experience for me. However, as usual, I learned a lot very rapidly and I was grateful that I was able to 'regain my seat' as it were. My dreams have been very prophetic recently. In one dream I was in a hospital that was being burnt down. I had been trying to keep it from burning and save everything in it along with another girl. We both admitted that the fire was coming and there was nothing we could do. Then the fires in Australia happened. I don't know what to think of having prophetic dreams other then they are a bit of a nuisance. Yes, it's a great demonstration to me personally that it is possible and spirit is real. All of this stuff I've been studying has really brought a deep magical component to my life. I don't blame my studies for the altered states I experience from time to time. I think they would have happened anyway. Instead, I'm grateful because without my studies I wouldn't be able to recover so quickly. Oh, and in this time period I went onto Facebook. I was thinking it would be a good way to connect with readers but boy was that a mistake. I had hundreds of friend requests from Muslims all over Europe and those I added tried to add some of my friends who are pretty. I received multiple messages from those friends and family members believing I had been hacked. So I deactivated my account (it has since been restarted) but I'm not on there. I have no explanation for that experience. I did start an Instagram and I pop on there at least once a week to post a weekly Stone to set the tone for the week. For example, this last week was Mahogany Obsidian. This gorgeous stone is known as the Warrior Stone. The stone is very protective and grounding. I keep these stones in my Medicine Bag that I always carry so that I'm in the energetic field. I draw the stones out of a small box that I have as a kind of natural oracle as opposed to oracle cards (I only pull a Animal Medicine Card on the New Moon to help me know the theme of the current lunar cycle). In these ways I've become more in tune with the Cosmic ebb and flow of life...and I'm starting to recognize the patterns as well as the cause and effect more easily. Thank you for joining me on the Path of the Seeker. I promise it is not always as weird as this blog or the next two. I really try to ground all of this in a practical left brain sort of fashion but there are spiritual experiences that just don't fall into that category. Sending you infinite love and support in your subjective reality experience!
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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