This is a really interesting Full Moon.
Astrologically, the Moon itself is in Scorpio but there is a Stellum in Taurus. Venus and Mercury are still with the Sun in Taurus so there is a very strong pull towards creature comforts. Venus is at home in Taurus giving this sign extra influence over this Full Moon. Mars in Cancer (a sign it doesn't like) is also very strong since the Moon is in it's sign of Scorpio givin this energy a sort of double edged sword. This is a day for comfort food where our heart and body are in harmony. Since there is so much energy in Taurus there is a focus on home. Combining this with the symbols from the New Moon that started this cycle (the Emperor Tarot Card and Prarie Dog Medicene Card) there is still a need to focus on home. The word Sanctuary, which is a way that home can be described, comes to mind with this Full Moon. Everything has come full circle and it's time to focus on the home and self-care especially. I know it's hard in a world that's very other oriented with social media and click bait articles everywhere but sometimes you can turn off the outer world and really focus on the inner world. That's the feeling that I get with this Full Moon. Maybe it's time to do some Spring Cleaning or to re-decorate a part of your home. I realized when I was building my grid for the New Moon that I inadvertedly that I chose stones that correspond to the Four Directions of the Medicene Wheel. This told me that part of this Moon cycle is finding a new balance. Since there is so much new energy coming in we have to work to remain balanced. Fresh energy and starts can be shaky at first. I know, at times this Full Moon Cycle I've felt as though I've been steering a ship over extreme waters. The emotional energy in the Collective is at an all time high. I was relfecting on things that I wrote in 2005 and even 2017 how much easier it was to be optimistic and enthusiastic about the world in general. Now, after the Pandemic that brought out the wors in people, the controversial Presidential Election that really brought the worst of everyone, and the Woke Movement bringing up so much emotional baggage in people...boy, does it seem as though Collective Harmony is impossible. We have Ukraine and Russia having stand offs over Crimea (prompted in part by Biden), and Israel taking pot shots at Iraq in the Meditteranian...it feels as though the world is on the edge of falling into World War III. The amount of 'mass shootings' seems to be increasing too. Everyone is on edge and ready to fight. Glacia Rain with her Ascension Update said it best when she said that we are going through a Dark Night of the Soul in middle of a very long Dark Night of the Soul. This Disharmony has been building over the past five years and I'm not sure it's hit it's peak yet. Finally, we have the stone that I pulled for this Full Moon: Blue Apatite. This is a stone that helps you connect with your Guides but it's also a stone people claim help them with eating disorders. Since we will prone to indulgences (perhaps even extreme ones) this is a warning not to go too extreme with the creature comforts and comfort foods that we may be drawn to with this Full Moon. I wouldn't be surprised if some couples have fights over money around the time of the Full Moon. This month I'm going to offer my usual Tea Light Candle scented with Lavendar to call back the energy of the New Moon and my favrite indulgent and protective Incense- Dragons Blood. I'm going to be saying an extra prayer of gratitude for the fact that I found out we are having a baby girl and that we have everything we need this time around. While the Collective seems negative and violent these days I think it's very important that we focus on how lucky all of us are to live in a first world country with a lot of luxuries even if we fall in the 'poverty level' (a category, I recently found out, that according to the governmen,t my husband and I fall into based on our current income!). I feel as though I have everyting I need and that I can even do extras. Granted, all of our furniture is used, and we don't live in the best area (which we hope to remedy) but I prefer to be grateful for what I have than looking at someone and wishing I had their life because I have an incredible life filled with love which money can never buy.
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This has been my weirdest pregnancy by far. Not only has Coronavirus made things more complicated but it's been weird from day one. This one feels like a uphill climb filled with a lot of delays.
False Hope And Then It Happened Everything really started in November. The day after Thanksgiving I was sick. Something I ate didn't agree with me. The stomach issue lasted for about a week. I threw up a lot. The husband became super excited and convinced that we we're pregnant. So, I had him get some pregnancy tests and two days before my period used it...and it was negative. We were both super disappointed. After a year and a half of trying I was just over it at that point. In December I took a pregnancy test the day after I missed my period purely out of of curiosity. I was shocked to see it was positive. I didn't hurry to get a doctors appointment. First, coronavirus makes things complicated. I don't have a babysitter for my daughter so she would have to go with me and I didn't want to have to fight for her to go into the room with me. Also, in the first trimester there is nothing a doctor can do for you. Yes, they can confirm the pregnancy but that's it. It's not until the second trimester that they can do the cerclage and start the shots to keep me from going into labor. Bleeding And Hospital Trip I had bled for about three days but it was when I sneezed and saw bright red blood that my husband and I decided it was time to visit the emergency room. The main reason I went to the E.R. was to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy or to get a D & C if it was a miscarriage. I've almost hemorraged to death twice when I didn't get a D & C promptly after miscarrying. My husband and daughter couldn't enter the E.R. with me. They had to leave and the nurses station was set up right at the front door so they could take a paitients temperature before they entered. Only the patient could enter the part of the E.R. I was in. Anyone with Covid symptoms or a fever had to go intoand part of the hospital. I was grateful my husband couldn't go in. He would have been nosey and stayed with our daughter. I don't think a healthy two year old has any business being in the E.R. The hospital did the ultrasound right away and the baby was fine. We even heard the heartbeat which was super early. I was at the hospital for eight hours because they lost my bloodwork at one point They were busy because of Coronavirus. They couldn't say decisively why I was bleeding but the baby was fine so I went home. Insurance Fiasco I've always paid for the highest priced plan offered by my employers and had a PPO medical plan. My husband, since he's the sole breadwinner and never goes to the doctor, opts for the cheapest plan. In this case it's an Aetna HMO. I've never had an HMO and it's a nightmare. So far, I've hated this insurance and the recommended doctors. Every doctors visit becomes complicated by this HMO. Granted, the husband paid for the median one all of last year hoping we would get pregnant. After doing research this year and confirming the OBGYN we wanted was a part of the plan he opted for the cheapest one. Since the doctor that took care of me with Michelle had retired from delivering babies we opted to go to his son who practices at the same office. He consults his Dad and should follow the same process that worked with Michelle and have access to all of my records/history. Either way there was miscommunication on every level. We were told a primary care doctors office had to confirm the pregnancy and refer me to the OBGYN we wanted. So, my husband chose the first doctor on the list that was in the same Medical Group as the OBGYN according to thtet Insurance Company. It took a week to get in to see the doctor. The office had one exam room. The doctor started seeing patients after noon. I never saw the inside of the exam room. They had me pee in a cup to confirm the pregnancy in the bathroom. After confirming the pregnancy the doctor talked to me in the reception room with the door open. There were no other patients. They said it would take two weeks to be approved for the referral. So, after two weeks I called and found out it was denied. I was being referred to another doctor that specialized in high risk pregnancies. My husband ended up calling the insurance and discovered that the fact we live thirty miles from the doctor was throwing off the insurance software. Some of the Reps said we needed a referral and some didn't. Then it turned out that the Doctor had written in the notes of the reffral that I wanted Dr. Sam Kassar but put a generic number into the actual refferal box indicating that the insurance could choose whoever they wanted. The Insurance never bother to read the notes according to one Rep. Then we found out the doctor's group wasn't a part of the basic plan because the medical group had been bought by a new Group a year ago. The doctor shouldn't have been on the list of approved practitioners but the Insurance company never updated their list or the doctors information in their system. Eventually, after claiming we lived in the same zip code as the doctor we we're able to get everything approved thanks to a loophole. An Appointment Over A Month Later Even though the hospital told me to follow up with an OBGYN within two weeks I wouldn't be able to see him for over a month. First because it took two weeks to see the primary and two more weeks for the referral to get worked out. I was still bleeding so I put myself on bed rest hoping not to make the situation worse. After the Primary Care and Insurance Fiascos...it turns out my doctor is experiencing a baby boom at his office. So, even though I told the operator that schedules the appointments that I was way over due for the follow up...I was told I couldn't see the doctor for three weeks. In other words, I wouldn't see an OBGYN for almost two months after I went to the hospital. During this time I had severe morning sickness and food aversions. I was fairly certain I was still pregnant. A Cervical Polyp? For about a month I was still bleeding but then I passed a huge clot. Once I passed the clot I stopped bleeding completely. I was pretty certain I had miscarried but I didn't want to go back to the hospital. Yet, the clot had looked odd. It was dark purple and stringy. I'd never seen one like that before and usually with a miscarriage there is pink tissue. I've had enough to know. I did a little research and it is possible it was a cervical polyps. Polyps can lead to bleeding in between periods- which I had experienced for over a year- and cause fertility problems. They are usually detected during a pap smear but I had skipped out on mine because of the pandemic. The clot did look like a cervical polyp. Yet, I was so convinced that I had miscarried that the weekend before my OBGYN visit I asked my husband to get another set of pregnancy tests and I took one. I didn't want to be surprised by the fact that I had miscarried at the office. I wanted to be prepared. I was shocked that it said I was still pregnant. Still, it could be that I still had a low amount of the hormone so I didn't get too excited. The Doctors Visit To my doctors credit he was really upset that I didn't seem him sooner. I'm pretty sure the operator that scheduled me three weeks out after a hospital visit and delayed primary visit was written up. We had started off with the ultrasound so I had already seen the baby and heard the heart beat. My daughter and husband were allowed in the room so they heard it too. My daughter was particularly impressed and kept repeating afterward, "I heard the heartbeat!" We waited at the doctors office for three hours. The operator had over booked the doctor because he was going on leave for three weeks because he and his wife were expecting a fourth child. Plus, the nurses informed me, the doctors office was experiencing a baby boom (even though on a national level we are experiencing a baby bust). Somehow, the ultrasound report was lost. At first after saying I had bled for a month and that I had passed a clot the doctor and nurses were somber. I'm pretty sure they thought I'd had a miscarriage too. At one point a nurse assistant came and grilled me about the symptoms and the bleeding. The visit was very weird and very different from what I had experienced at his fathers office that was just upstairs. My husband was wonderfully oblivious to the subtle signs the doctors and nurses gave. That's normal for him. When the doctor finally got the ultrasound report he let out a sigh of relief and said that's what he liked to see. To my surprise he said that we could get the Cerclage Surgery done in two weeks and said, "See you soon." Then they gave me a little goody bag with formula and what not that are given out when a pregnancy is confirmed. I learned a long time ago not to see that as a sign that the pregnancy is for sure because a lot of things can happen after that first confirmation. At this point all of it felt really surreal. I was reeling from the shock that I was still pregnant. Three Weeks Later Yes, like everything else this was a royal pain in the butt. The Wednesday after seeing the doctor I called the office to see about scheduling the surgery. My husband had to know what day to take off. They were supposed to call me...but they hadn't so I called them. The woman in charge of scheduling had forgotten about it. She pulled up my file and said, "Oh I forgot." Never mind that this is a life or death surgery for my child. So, fine, she told me that by Thursday evening she should have approval. Only, she didn't call me the rest of the week. In fact, she never called me to say that my surgery was scheduled. The Outpaitient Surgery center called me to schedule an onsite Coronavirus test the Friday before the surgery. That's when I called the doctors office again, asked to speak to scheduling, and found out the actual date and time of my surgery so my husband could get the time off. The Cerclage The Cerclage surgery went about the same way that everything else did. I went on the Friday before and had the swab done to test for Coronavirus. I forgot my mask but luckily had a neck gator in the car. Although, the heavily masked and screened nurse came to my car. I showed up for the surgery with my mask on at 3 o'clock. Even the nurse commented they were surprised I was scheduled for 3pm since I was pregnant. I couldn't eat after Midnight the night before...and I went to sleep about 6pm...so, it was a long time not to eat. The entire thing was a bit weirder then my other surgeries. I was told the gown, socks and hair net were in the bathroom and to put my clothes directly into the locker. The staff was super nice...although, based on their small talk I'm guessing most people aren't happy with their job...so, maybe it's not a great place to work. But then I have never been to a doctors office or hospital where the nurses had positive small talk. Constant complaining seems to be a requirement of working in the medical industry. There was a ton of paperwork and three or four people asked if I had Coronavirus symptoms even after having a negative test. The doctor checked for a fetal heartbeat explaining it was weird but one time he had done a cerclage on a woman he found out later that she'd had a miscarriage...so then she had to have her cerclage removed and a D & C. So, now he checks for a fetal heartbeat before every cerclage surgery. He had no problem finding the fetal heartbeat, although, he had to chase the baby around because they didn't like the feeling of pressure from the monitor. That type of behavior is super early at this point but then both my husband and I have felt the baby move already...again an abnormal milestone this early in the pregnancy. Then they did something I didn't expect. At the prior Cerclage they did a spinal shot instead of knocking me out. Putting me to sleep is risky for the baby. I was already on edge when I found out they would put me to sleep. When the anesthesiologist but the mask on me after putting the drug cocktail into my IV I had a full on panic attack. He had me close my eyes and the mask was pushed into my eyes because it was too big. I tried to take the mask off, deciding I couldn't do this...and the doctor adjusted it just a little to help me breath easier...and then I passed out. I woke up ready to fight with my heart beating rapidly. This was the first time that had happened and after undergoing 12 other surgeries I know it was bizarre. I was the last patient at the Outpaitient Surgery Clinic and I had no pain when I first woke up. They checked the baby's heartbeat again. The heartbeat had dropped from 155 to 140 but it was in the acceptable range. Since I hadn't eaten all day I drank two bottles of water and ate a Graham cracker. I even used the restroom which was very uncomfortable. I knew I needed to have a bowel movement. I think the nurses were in a hurry to leave because the nurses kept asking if I was ok while I was in there (I guess I was taking too long) and my husband and daughter waiting. I knew the problem was that I couldn't relax. So, I got dressed and they released me. The husband drove to Panera Bread as we had agreed because I had thought, based on previous experience, that I would be super hungry with no pain. However, I told him I had an urgent bowel movement and wanted to go home. I think he missed what I said, probably focused on his own hunger, so we ended up going to the drive thru anyway. When he pulled in to park I told him I would prefer to eat at home because I was in pain. So, he ate his sandwich while driving. Once home I mostly sat on the toilet for five hours in pain. I would have a little bowel movement and then stop because it hurt. I was in too much pain to eat. At the hospital, during the original Cerclage surgery I had in 2018, they had given me an ice pad to wear after surgery that helped with the pain. The Outpaitient Surgery center didn't do that. So, I took a couple Tylenol and put ice in a ziplock bag. Around 11pm the pain subsided enough so that I could go to sleep. Luckily, since my husband had to go back to work, the next day I was fine and perfectly capable of taking care of my daughter the next morning and haven't had any pain since. Yet, that was a hair raising experience. Three Weeks...Again My surgery discharge papers say I'm supposed to follow up with my OBGYN in two weeks. Well, of course I called and despite the surgery discharge papers...the OBGYN is on leave for three weeks because his fourth child was born. I feel lucky he did my cerclage surgery. So, I have a couple more weeks before I go back to the doctor. At this point delays seem to be par for the course for this pregnancy. Conclusion So, that's the hair raising experience of the first trimester of this pregnancy. I've just been on survivor mode. The pregnancy still doesn't feel real to me. While I'm no longer throwing up every day I still have crazy food aversions to the point where thinking about eating makes me sick. There have been days where I only eat saltine crackers. This kid likes earthy flavors- I've craved mushroom (my husband made an amazing mushroom soup), baked lays potato chips, and pesto pasta sauce dishes. This is funny because they are going to be a Virgo (I just received a paper from the insurance approving the c-section prior to 9/9 so the baby should be born via c-section the first wee of September). My daughter was the opposite I craved spinach with tomato salads, and spicy Thai dishes (Crying Tiger in particular). Delays...delays and more delays seems to be the name of the game concerning this pregnancy. If I persistently call the doctors office it seems to get worse because the employees get annoyed so I've backed off. With the most important part done, the cerclage, I'm confident the baby "won't fall out," as the doctor so eloquently put it...but I don't expect it to be smooth sailing from here. I'm just going with the flow hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I won't be surprised if the insurance denies the shot or something. That's almost to be expected at this point. The age of Coronavirus has definitely made customer service worse then ever before. I wonder if it's the masks negatively impacting oxygen levels that's making people more inept and cranky or the doom and gloom belief system of society (what with climate change propaganda, identity politics, cancel culture and the pandemic everyone's on edge). While I'm breathing a sigh of relief to have the cerclage done I don't think I'll fully believe that we are having another baby until they're in my arms. I've mostly been escaping reality by watching DisneyWorld live streamers and bloggers. There is a really great and supportive community in which I participate. My daughter is becoming a bit of a couch potato and I'm hoping that will change when the second one is here. Well, that's how things are for now. I just hope this pregnancy doesn't become even more interesting because it's been far too complicated already! I thought it would be fun to share my top 7 favorite books. All of these books are equal to one another as far as I am concerned. Each has played a vital role in my own spiritual and personal development. I have hit such a plateau of peace that it really helped me navigate through the entire experience of the pandemic with relative ease. I did have a little bit of a conflict until I decided to be optimistic but it turns out that was all a part of my life purpose. I can read these books a million times for fun and find something brilliant and new in them every time. Journey of Souls is the very first book that I read that really clicked. I had read the bible and other Christian books that were recommended by my Uncle Leon who was as pastor. However, I really didn't find anything in those that really gave me direction. I have seen this book literally transform people's lives after reading it- most notably my mother (I originally read it to her because she couldn't read and then when I was an adult I gave her the audio and she listened to that thing non-stop for at least a year) and my sister. This was the first time I realized, when reading it to my mother, that not everyone could tap into Oneness at will. I can ease into that place of non-being spontaneously. Years passed before I realized that very few people can do the same. When I asked my mother and she said no when I was a teenager I thought it was just her. Boy was I wrong. Turning the Mind into an Ally was a book I came across when I was living on my own in the Mountains. I picked it up because Sakyong Mipham was one of the teachers of Pema Chodon and I loved her books. This is the book that introduced me to the concept of training the mind. I had never heard of that before and I really wonder why it's not taught by Psychologists. Other then studying the effects of meditation there was no attention given to this long held tradition in any of my Psychology classes (I have a Bachelors in Psychology). I cannot express how amazing this book is...not only does it teach a novice student about meditation (including active meditation) but it gives wonderful metaphors and a wonderful description of the benefits of the practice. Dancing The Dream by Jamie Sams had a huge impact on me. This was the first book I read that actually described the ups and downs that I had experienced on my Spiritual Journey. Her easy to approach method and the wonderful descriptions of every direction on the medicine wheel really helped me navigate my spiritual journey. Although, it can be a little confusing this book introduced me to the 7 fold path of the Seeker. Collete Baron Reid is by far one of the best when it comes to understanding archetypes. This book is incredible and even more amazing is the fact that you can buy the oracle card set that goes with this one. I don't own those and I gave this book away because a friend was reading it when she quit the place where we both worked. The archetypes in this book remain as some of the most influential that I've ever come across with vivid meditations and exercises that will really help you map your psyche. This book transformed my perception of the Spiritual Path. I have loaned it out to one person, my father in law, and he was completely perplexed by it. He's the only person I can imagine even being close to be interested enough to navigate it's depths. The concept of A.U.M. and A.U.O. are priceless. This is a very blunt book and it should be since it hold's the best Shadow Work training I've ever come across. Tonglen practice literally has the student breathing in the 'poison' of this world and transmuting it within their body. There is nothing more powerful. If you want a very short but very deep book that sums up all of the Ageless Wisdom that was taught by Paul Foster Case this is the book for you. This book covers everything and, even better, contains a very complete description of astrology for beginners (although, there is a whole lot of information that you can explore beyond this book). This is the ultimate foundation book for people on the Spiritual Path of the Seeker. From the Kabbalah Tree of Life to Alchemey and the Tarot...this book touches on every subject (and then you can go and study whatever avenue she provides that interests you most...or all of them if you're like me.) NI haven't reviewed this book officially yet on this blog but it is going to happen soon. In fact, it should be the following blog unless something strange happens. This book caused everything about astrology to 'click' into place. This gave me the information I needed in order to equate the planets to what I felt was the correct energy centers in the 7 code. This also made a wonderful argument about when the current Great Year begins with the signs of two conjunctions between Jupiter and Saturn (that have already happened). I refer to this book every month for the graph it contains with the Hebrew Letter of the New Moon Cycle. All in all, I cannot recommend this book enough.
I love New Moon in Aries. Aries season, all on it's own, is the start of the Great Wheel of Time. This is the start of the Zodiac and the Indigenous Medicene Wheel. I love new beginnings. The start of a movie is usually my favorite part. Endings are always hard. This Aries New Moon has a lot of energy around it and with all of the new fresh energy- perhaps even a new paradigm- our Medicene Card for this month suggests it is not the time for action. Instead, when all of the symbols are in place it becomes this is a time for allowing the Divine Will to take shape. Sometimes humans have to act on the physical plain of existance and sometimes we just have to allow the Divine to do it's magic with initiating a new phase of Creation. That's what this New Moon feels like after studying the symbols. So let's jump in! The Astrology There is a stellium (a group of planets) in the sign of Aries. We have the sun, moon, Venus, Mercury and Chiron. Ceres is also in this stellum, which is a symbol of grieving and loss. Of course, before we can embrace the new we often have to let go of something. A common saying is that as one door closes another door opens. Chiron is a healer and on this New Moon he's working with the heart (Venus) and the mind (Mercury). So, we're starting a very big new cycle with a healed heart and mind that are in alignment with one another. Our body, and the ruler of this New Moon, Mars, is in Gemini. This double bodied sign means that we may overthinking about or over doing something concerning our body. Saturn and Jupiter are both in Aquarius so the collective is still having a major impact upon our lives. Medicine Moon On the Medicine Wheel, just as with the zodiac we are at the beginning of the Wheel. Once again the message is a new cycle and fresh start. The New Bud Moon captures the power of the moment when the first blow on the fruit trees indicate the rich possibilities of the years harvest. We planted the seeds of intention that we will reap during this cycle at the end of the last cycle and we are already seeing the first hints of the possible returns. Hebrew Letter: Hei This letter is used in the sacred name of God-the tetragrammaton. This represents the Divine Will. Nothing is more symbolic of the Divine Will. Spring is the Intiation of New Life and the renewing of the cycle which is tied to the Divine Masculine who initates the process of life through the process of conception (the feminine is associated with the Harvest and Winter because she is the one who gives birth). The letter itself looks like the arch of a doorway. This suggests that there is a new path ahead. Tarot Card : The Emperor The Emperor is the Logos. This is that impulse for life that all of us have. That desire to grow and to exist. This is the force that causes the grass to poke up from the sand and terrestrial beings to take their first breath. However, this desire to live and to experience the self is not alone. The Emperor looks to the Empress who is the one that brings that new life into existance. So, again, we find the symbol for a starting point in our journey. Tools Incense: I'm using Jasmine incense because flowers are the essence of spring in my opinion. Oil: I'm using Blue Lotus oil because it's a flower which is the the for my new Moon ceremony. Lavender Candle: Yes, a candle that is the color and scent of a flower. Grid Red Aventurine- Generator at the center of my Grid. Red Aventeruine is the stone for getting things done. This stone carries the energy of motivation. This is a root chakra stone. Carnelian - This fiery orange root chakr stone is also about energy. This stone brings a lot of energy to the grid. Yello Serpentine- A Kundalini stone that works with the Solar Plexus. This stone also helps to cleanse a persons energy.
I've been a bit nostalgic recently when it comes to almost everything. This year has felt like a review of my life up until now. I've been looking back at the best times of my life and a realistic view on the not-so-pretty points of my life.
I feel as though, in some ways, I'll be leaving that behind. As though with 2021 a 'new life' started and that I'll finally release all the rest. I think it ties into the new relationship I'm forging with my husband where I insist on being more active and having a voice. I realized, through talking to him, that he wanted an enmeshed relationship and I refuse to be in that type of relationship. After walking the Path of the Seeker for 14 years I've learned a lot of things. I have this fascinating feeling of finality and completion with this Path. Not that I'm done walking the Path of the Seeker or that I'll stop writing this blog. There is always more to discover...but that the learning phase is over and now I'm learning how to Master this energy. I feel as though I've hit a level of spiritual matuirty. I don't have the same level of interest in learning from others that I once had. In Alchemy, D.W. Hauck describes this as the phase where you burn all of your books. The idea behind that is that the wisdom has been gained from them and it's time that you forge your own path. While I'm not about to do anything so drastic I intend to share the knowledge I've gained. Here are all of the Revelations that I have learned. 1. The Answers Are Out There. My current husband tells me that the answers aren't out there. That might have been true when he was twenty but there are so many answers out there right now. The answers have always been out there. For example, Paul Foster Case was trying to illuminate everyone back in the 1930's with Builders of the Adytum (temple) and he didn't care how the information go out there as long as it did. Then you have people like Jason Lotterhand were out there and accesible if you happened to be in the right place at the right time. There are no excuses anymore with the internet and access to so many books (if you can't afford physical you can buy all of them for cheap digital) to where the only thing that will keep you from finding answers is yourself. If you're not dedicated then you may not find the answers but that is 100% on you. 2. As Above So Below- Life Is The Same Fractal Repeated Infinitely The one thing that I learned during my search is that there is really a divine pattern that is repeated on every level of creation. That's why I have been working on the 7 Code (a book will eventually be written but the last two years I had to learn some more and pass a 'spiritual test' that had to do with my Nodal return). I can literally look up one thing in one system and find a correlation in another that gives everything a deeper dimension. For example, knowing that we are in the decade of the Hebrew Letter Pei I know that it correlates to the the Dissolution level of Alchemy and that this will be a decade that dissolves (thank goodness because we had become very dense and fixed...and nature does not like stagnancy). 3. Divine Timing Exists But Does Not Negate Free Will I've seen too many synchroncities to deny that Divine Timing Exists. When i'm going through a particular potent lesson (which, sometimes going through it feels a little boring at first) I'll see all thsoe repeating times- 11:11 even 7:07 multiple times a day...beyond the realm of possibility. There have been so many different people to detract and propose theories for this but...either way it's just theory and until you experience you don't understand the phenomenon. Sometimes you literally run across the MEME or billboard that answers the question you were asking. The most obvious, however, when you learn it is the system of Astrology that can accurately predict the likely outcome of a situation or even relationship. The stars are literally similar to the lock on a safe...the pattern was pre-set by the Creator because as we learn in the Kabbalah Physical Material Reality existed prior to the creation of mankind. 4. The Purpose of Life is Known- To Know Yourself As Yourself And Yet One With The Creator- Edgar Cacye The best description of the purpose of life is the above quote. However, it denotes a lot in between. First, we have to perceive that we are Separate from the Creator so that we can have a sense of self which is unique in the Cosmos. Second, we have to amass enough experiences to become a unique unshakable soul that does not fall back into Group Think (a sort of hive mind tendency that we all had when first created much like the angels) and in fact we volunteered to 'fall' because the Creator hinted there was value in it but would never force any of the angels to become human against their will. Finally, we have to turn from focusing on our selfish wants, desires, and needs to turn back to the Creator and the rest of Creation. Once we stop being so focused on Earthly needs, desires and wants we gain a sense of peacefulness. 5. The Creator Exists Once you experience the hand of the Divine in your life and witness miracles it's impossible not to believe again. Prior to departing on the Path of the Seeker you do have the luxury of believing in what the majority of Science Teachers teach that the world is the result of one chaotic chance after another. After experiencing synchronicity and the Divine in your life, however, or even a Past Life memory you end up quoting something similar to Shakeper's Horatio to most of the average people that you meet, "There is more in heaven and earth than your theory." 6. Your An Eternal Being And That's Comforting Despite your mistakes. Despite your failures. Despite your insane success...you are always an Eternal Being that Has Always Existed and Will Always Exist. You get endless lives and avatars in this Game Of Life that we are all playing down here on Earth where we forget this very important fact. The purpose of forgetting is that we actually learn far faster when our butts are in the hot seat. This is the sink or swim way of learning and most people learn better in applied "real world" situations where there's repercussions for failures than in simulations. If you don't get this life right you will have another life where you do ace the test finally (not that life is a big test...but you will be tested on the Path of the Seeker). 6. Darkness Is a Necessary Shadow A lot of people focus on duality. The battle of 'good' versus 'evil.' Yet, the terms good and evil are both subjective to the individual and the individual's culture. We have the option to go past these terms and see that Light naturally casts a Shadow when it shines upon an object. If you don't cast a shadow when light shines upon you...you're not in physical material reality. The Shadow, however, is a abstract term for all of the baggage that we tend to carry in life and from one life into another. There are numerous good videos on the subject of Shadow Work and blogs on here. This is the 'karma' that the soul leaves behind when they leave the Earth Plane but calls them back into the reincarnation cycle. That's how important Shadow Work is to an individual. 7. Thanatos- The Death Wound Why do we die? The answer is a little more simple then imagined. First, there had to be the Illusion of Separation (a blog I wrote) so that we could be an individual. Second, because of the fact we were seperate we experienced the emotion of Fear for the first time...in particular, the Fear of the Creator. Until we can stand in the light of the Creator without Fear (which we can achieve with enough Shadow Work which is an act of loving compassion acceptance of ourselves) we will continue to experience reincarnation until we integrate those aspects of ourselves that we reject because we've labeled them 'bad' or 'evil.' 8. Gratitude Gratitude is the highest frequency that you can be in and it naturally attracts what you need. Be grateful for your difficulties- they make you stronger. Be Grateful for your Triggers- they point to your Shadow Work where you'll find your Spiritual Gold. Be Grateful to be you...you are working towards being a unique individual which is a path Angel's Fear to Tread but the Creator adores you for it. 9. Discernment The shortest and sweetest lesson was discernment. Without it you will not get very far on the Path of the Seeker. With out discernment you'll be sucked into Group Think thanks to a charismatic leader or spiritual group. Ultimately, for me since the Path of the Seeker is essentially gaining self-actualization/individualization/unique self and it is the journey of a Lone Wolf instead of a Collective. Each person in the Collective can Walk The Path of the Seeker but that path and the twists or turns in that path is 100% unique to the individual. 10. Oneness Unity Consciousnes or Christ Consciousness is 100% attainable and actually exists. In order to get to that point we have to a have a solid sense of self. In Christian terms you will be tested by being baptized by water (emotions) and fire (spirit-soul) and retaining your individuality throughout the process. That is, in effect, The Path of the Seeker. At that point the barrier of the Ego begins to dissolve at a slow pace where you can feel the Oneness of the Interconnected Multiverse/Matrix in which we exist without feeling 'small' or being frightened by it. Instead, it just opens up the doors to new possibilities. Conclusion I really enjoyed the learning phase of the Path of the Seeker. I'm still working on putting it in a very simple no nonsense book form for other people to enjoy. Once I'm done with identifying and studying the systems, marveling at how just interconnected everything really is, and move on...well, quite frankly I don't know what is next. I think that's the most exciting thing...the first leg of the journey is all mapped out for us but then we enter the Unknown and the adventure continues. Hercules becomes Semi-Divine and discovers that he now has the realm of the Gods to explore after doing everything he could possibly do as a human. How that translates into my terrestrial avatars experience on Earth I'm uncertain but I'm excited by the possibilities. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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