Toxic Belief 4 - We Must Have Goals
Yesterday, I sat down with a co-worker that clearly had a lot on her mind. She often looks as though she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. She told me that she was coming to the end of the semester for her school. For her, reaching that school alone had been a huge life goal. She's nearly forty and she has never moved out of her home with her parents. She just finished her first year at a university and she has struggled. She explained how just getting into the school had been reassuring, it had been a symbol of how she is not stupid and she's not a failure...that she's going to be alright. I sat there listening in silence intrigued by this idea. By chasing an elusive dream for a very long time she has put every other aspect of her life on hold. What she sought to achieve was something her mother achieved, it is where her mother went to get her Masters, and I saw in it a repeat of a teaching from her parents. Her mother probably felt her existence was validated by her Masters degree. Now, perhaps it is because of the perspective that I have where I have a Masters Degree and discoverd, to my surprise, that my favorite job...the place I want ot be...is in a minimum wage job as a barrista. That is my zen zone and I can appreactiate every aspect of that job. My high school honors englis teacher would look down on me for this but I see that as a compliment because for all of his phiolosophical ponderings he was a buffoon I do not admire as a human being. In gaining my degree and finding fulfillment in a job I held before I had it...I have seen that a Masters Degree is all but useless. I believe that millions of people in the United States has come to this same realization, with horror, and in major debt. A Masters Degree is no promise for success and it is not a validation of who we are as human beings. Yes, it boosted my confidence but not because I had achieved it. Instead, it was because it was proof that I could over come a label I was given as a child- that I was dyslexic and would not be able to achieve anything but a general degree according to my Special Education Teachers (who couldn't process that I was also in Honors classes and why I would be deficient in one area of education and not all of them). I did not tell her this, I do not want to violently burst her illusion nor do I think she would hear my perspective for the disannonce that it would cause. She must, I have discovered, come gently to this relization on her own. You Must Have Goals Yet, society tells us that we must have lofty goals, we must be trying to keep up with the Jones's....there is only one way to find sumblime happiness. The suggestion is that if only you had the latest gaming system, the latest cell phone, a really good degree from a well-known college, or a high profile job...well, you're life will be complete. Then when you achieve this goal that is supposed to mean something according to society. The heavens will split open and welcome you into the divine embrace...yet, when that goal is acheived it is off to find the latest thing that society says you need to be complete. Society tells us who they and the majority of their subscribers believe to be successful people. My newsfeed on Facebook used to be full of "useful tips of highly successful people." All of the successful people in the world, the CEO's, the celerbities, and every other imaginable group have some helpful advice for those of us who are 'ordinary." The people with a lot of money say that the reason why the are successful is because they set ridiculous goals and then achieved them. Yet, how many of those people do you see having simple fulfilled lives? How many houses does it take to feel fulfilled? How many of these rich people have multiple homes and multiple vehicles but still are not satisfied? From the biographies I have watched and read they have never obtained Wholeness. Some, when they reach the adulation of millions, still commit suicide because they still feel that psycholgical lack. In fact, most of those who are 'succssful' people according to society are actually the sickest psychologically because it is a mental push that forces them to push so hard to be successful. They achieved what other people envy but they have not received any form of comfort and as their wealth grows they become even more disatistfied. The truth is all of the riches of the world will not satisfy them. By all accounts, Jessus, or Yeshua, didn't even own a home. There is a story that I will share with you from the Edgar Cacye readings. Jesus was given a comb, he used it and then he gave it away. He carried no possions...and this is because he knew that the "kingdom of heaven" did not lie in material possesions or wealth. Goals Are Illusions My husband is a huge goal setter. He would put a picture on the desktop of his computer for whatever his goal was at he time. He has reached several goals that would appear to be unreachable to many in our generation. Yet, every time he reached a goal he set another one. Now, there is nothing bad about this and it's a huge help when trying to set up what you consider requirments to go to the next stage of life. You can look at achieving those goals as achievements but does it bring true happiness? Too often we say that we will be happy when we reach this or that goal...only to replace it with another one delaying our ability to be happy in the Now. I won't be happy until I get the perfect ring....I won't be happy until I find the perfect man...I hear people saying things like this all of the time. I have never, other then saying it myself, heards someone look at their life and say, "I am satisfied." These goals are illusions. They are really not necessary. They can provide focus in what is naturally the chaotic process of life. Yet, we cannot be consumed by reaching those goals. To use a commonly accepted image of heaven...when I cross the veil to heaven do you think that I will be asked by St. Peter to provide a full list of all of my degrees or the titles I held in the companies where I worked? No. So why do we pursue such things with abandon on Earth and think that it will validate our existence when God does not require that of us? Appreciating The Now I used to be very angry when I didn't reach my goals. People would tell me it's about the journey and not the destination. I still despise that saying. Instead, I like to say it's about the Now. We must look at every moment that we have as the best time to appreciate life and harvest oportunity in the moment. Delaying sanctification in life for a future day when we might have what we want is a very detrimental process. Thinking we lack what we need to achieve peace and wholeness in the now is an illusion. Right now at this moment there are many options that you have that might bring you joy. For me, it is writing, at this moment that is bring me the greatest joy. Right now I am living my life to the fullest, my cup runneth over with an abundance of being able to do what I want to do, and I've discovered the more I induldge in this process the more of what I want flows to me naturally...without work, without suferring and without all of the steps we as a collective has stated we must achieve. When we make the most of individual moments by living in the Now we can start creating what we want right now instead of delaying our happiness for the future. Wholeness The issue, that most people don't realize because they do not examine their motivations for these experiences is to find validation and wholeness. Often, children learn from their parents that they are defficient, they are not enough, as they are and they go forward in life seeking achievements in the hope of gaining their parents approval. We have seen, with the recent generation, that giving recognition when nothing has been accomplished has also been detrimental. Children who get rewards without earning them know the falseness of it and start to think that merely showing up for work on time daily means they deserve praise even if they fail to fulfill the obligations of their role. This teaches us a lot about this Toxic Belief and the Illusion that it is tied to it in life. The reason most people seek outside of themselves is they do not feel complete in the very essence of their being. There is a very big black hole in the very center of their being and they are sucking in all of the information, praise, gifts and material succsses in an attempt to fill that void. Yet, that void will never fill with objects and achievements in the outer world. Kids who are given everything they want and all they want still have this hole but they have no desire to seek because they have never had to try....they lack the motivation and catalyst that will drive those of us with broken history's into self-examination. My Path As I have stated before there are many paths in life and each person has their own path to walk. No two paths are alike just as like no fingerprint is alike. I chased this illusion for many years and tasted what should have been success according to society. As I achieved the fruit of my work at every level of achievement it was very hollow. There was nothing filling about it, no peace, no wholeness....and so I turned my eyes to the next task that might validate my existence. The Inner Path, of self examination inevitably leads to the idea of Service To Others. Strangely, when you are able to look within and find a completion or wholeness within yourself....there is an overflow of genroisty that flowers within the heart where it is inconsciousable not to share with others. I, for one, believe that there is an illusion of seperation within this world. The blackhole we experience in our life and our insatiable desires comes from an intrinsic link to the Source/God/Creator/All-That-Is/First Emanation that is always there when we are in Spirit. This sense of lacking then manifests itself in the need to achieve something to validate our existence in the eyes of others who are also looking and focused on that self-validation. The only way to overcome this Illusion of Seperation is the realization that we are not seperated from God/All-That-Is in any such way. That we are always within and a part of the mind of the Source. We can never be seperate, we have chosen the seperation in order to learn more of ourselves and to create individuality but it is just an illusion because nothing can exist without Source. This point of view has been inevitably denied by Christian thought leading to a lot of suffering. I have heard them condemn the Gospel of Thomas where it is claimed Jesus said in Saying 30: "Jesus said where there are three they are without God. And where there is only one, I say I am with him. Lift the stone and there you will find me. Split the wood and I am there." (This passage, based on my own epiphanies, suggests that where a person has not united their Mind, Body, and Soul as one...instead of seeing them as seperate entites...he is not there. That God/the Source is in all things. The idea that Jesus believed that all were one within the mind of God also eliminates the idea of the convuluted idea of son/father/holy ghost. Yet, that is a discussion for another day. =). ) Conclusion We don't have to set and achieve goals to be happy. No amount of personal achievemate can make us happy...they are but inanimate objects. There is not really a choice to pursue materlaisim or to be happy. The difference is a belief in Seperation, between us and the rest of creation. That sense of Seperation and Supermacy are illusions. We have all that we need right now. Creation does not hold back abundance to any of us, much as the Lily in the field does not worry what it will wear tomorrow because it trust that Creation itself will meet all of it's needs. To pursue happiness int his moment in whatever way is available in an abundance of choices is always an option that we have. This is so obvious that most people miss it, beacuse we as humans like complicated systems. If we choose to wait, the universe will allows us do experience life that way. However, life is structured for us to choose happiness right now by pursuing what makes us happiest to the furthest of our ability in the moment. This lead to the creation of even more abundance and a plethora of moments of happiness. Taking pleasure in the small items of every day life, in that space, is where you can find true happiness, peace, comfort and wholeness. Not in some distant goal you might achieve or possessing an inanimate object that is supposed to impress others in order to validate your existence. In this moment, right now, this is where you find happiness because you choose to find reasons that exist in your life right now that make you happy and fulfilled. Yes, it really can be that simple...unless you are happiest when things are complicated and involves suffering. Some people are that way and I will leave them to that because it is their sacred choice to be that way. I have no place to judge anyones personal path. For me, I have chosen to find happiness in the simple day to day pleasures that I experience.
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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