Current Energy People are talking about the New Moon in Pisces and the Solar Eclipse that happened in the Southern Hemisphere today. I felt it pertinent to explore this energy because it has a very personal component for me. I know that it's not necessarily the same for all of humanity. Some people are calling this time period through the Spring Equinox as "The Corridor." Above you can watch the video about this weeks 'prescription' from Collette Baron Reid, Victor Oddo's take on the current energies he senses and an astrologer sharing her perspective of the New Moon In Pisces. All of them talk about Letting Go and the energy of a Breakthrough being present. The synchronicity between Victor Oddo's video, Colette Baron-Reid's video and the astrologer discussing the Pisces Moon with the Solar Eclipse is a bit amazing. I posted those at the start of this blog because I wanted to demonstrate this theme. What really makes this message real to me is that in addition to these three messages that I watched today I had a dream last night that contained the same message. The dream was distressing and I would have liked to dismiss it entirely. Burning Dorm Dream I prayed to Source that I may know what to do to help others to perceive Source as I do...I asked Source to use my hands to do it's will. The Dream I had, however, suggests I have a bit more work to do before I am fully trusting of Source. The dream took place at a dorm in school. In the dream I was not me but a male (probably my animus or the male portion I left on the other side of the veil - aka in heaven, "the witness before the throne of God"...I believe I wrote a blog on the subject). I, and others, were told we had to leave our rooms so that renovations could be made. I took nothing with me as I assumed my personal belongings would not be touched. Unfortunately, the renovations required the dorm to be burnt down. I was very distraught about this, so being the lucid dreamer that I am I reset the dream. Over and over again I tried to decide what to take with me. One time I focused on what I considered essentials- underwear, socks, and Christmas Ornaments (which represent memories to me). Another time, I rushed into the burning building and tried to save the books on a bookshelf that was on fire. Another time I tried to conjure a moving truck so I could place all of the stuff I had in the dorm into it for safe keeping. Needless to say I didn't want to let go of my personal belongings. I know this means that the old must be burned away before the new can surface. Obviously, this is not necessarily something that needs to happen in the physical world. The book case on fire, in particular seems to represent knowledge. Also entertaining in this dream is I was given a card that had Source Autobody. To me that was a bit punny. Along with that was an invitation to see the termination of a timeline. (Does this, possibly, represent a personal timeline or set of patterns in which I have become entrenched? In the Disneyland dream where I recognized a familiar pattern and a woman gave me "change"...is this when the change takes place?) Interesting this is the answer I received as a reply from Source to my request that my hands be used to do Source's Will. I can barely perceive on the edges of my consciousness what this may mean. We always say, "May thy will be done on Earth as in Heaven," but do many of us really offer Source our hands to do Source's will on Earth? What exactly does that entail? Letting Go seems to be the answer...the question for me is what does that dorm really mean...and why must it be burnt down for renovations to happen? These are all intriguing questions. I'm sure that the answers will unfold before me but it is an interesting point to be at in my spiritual journey. I'm still learning to trust in my ability to perceive the communion with Source. I certainly don't feel in the position to interpret that connection for anyone else or share everything that I am learning in this delicate dance...to me it is a tenuous connection from my end. Sharing this is a little difficult as it is deeply personal but I think it's important to share with others. Perhaps, one day you will be observing this interesting dance of question and answers...of profound magical synchronicity that seems to tie in with your dreams forming a type of delicate guidance. March This energy of the need of letting go...of transformation is very interesting given that it's happening at the eve of march. The month of March has been hard for me in the last three years. My mother called me about a two weeks ago and asked if I knew the significance of March 22nd. I said I wasn't certain. For some reason, it seems to be a significant time for her as well. I know that March 23rd is the Equinox and March 22nd has been a date I've been very aware of for the last three years. I don't think anything has happened on that date...but maybe this year something will? I lost my daughter in the Month of March 2014 (she was born on the 28th so it has nothing to do with the 22nd). Something about the energy of the Spring Equinox has really set me off since I experienced the Kundalini Awakening in 2015 and in 2016 I had a breakdown that started in February lasting through March. Three times in a row I've been incapacitated in the month of March. For me, the month of March will be a test to see if I can keep my balance spiritually. I don't desire a fourth year of a breakdown...especially given my current hopes and goals for having children next year. Overwhelmingly, it does seem the appropriate time for a breakthrough and change. This entire process of personal spiritual unfoldment I've experienced in the last four years has required a gentle loving kindness towards myself. This hasn't come easily as I tend to be pretty tough on myself. Conclusion This week is primarily about Letting Go and Letting God I suppose. I see that I need to let the construct, the dormitory filled with my spiritual books of validation perhaps, burn down so that something new can be built. Thus far, this has been my primary way of feeling out the path. I'm not quite sure if I'm willing to let go of that, however, or if that's the proper interpretation. I know that I am in Uncharted territory (another theme I've come across) where my old patterns of thinking are no longer at play. Where the old rules I've used no longer apply. The process is of gentle seeking...developing a conversation with Source directly and not looking into the past so much. Yet, I doubt that all of this will be accomplished in a week. February was a month of trial for me. There wasn't much as far as entertainment. The month represented a lot of work on many levels...at vocationaly, mentally and emotionally. March is going to be an indulgent month. First Doctor Strange comes out on DVD which is a bit exciting not only because I adore that movie but because the trailer for Thor Ragnarok should be on there. Then Logan comes out which I look forward to and then there is Ghost In A Shell. I'm looking forward to these indulgence as I let the cleansing fires make way for the renovations that are coming into my life and changes start to happen. Already, they have started with my husband change jobs but I sense this is going to be a change for me on a personal level. As Mary Poppins said, "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way." The Caterpillar thinks it's dying during the transformation. The Phoenix or Bin Bin bird (Egyptian Phoenix) thinks it's building a pyre of sacrifice and not rebirth...I'm not sure what to expect in this next phase in my spiritual journey. From previous experiences I know not to rush headlong into them...but to walk the labyrinth of their unfolding with loving kindness and compassion...to enjoy it as it gently unfolds instead of trying to force or react out of fear. P.S. I didn't want to include a longer video but I do suggest people look up the New Moon In Pisces on the web and Youtbe. This video goes into some interesting information and why some people believe that this New Moon signifies the end of Pisces. Apparently, it's the last new moon in Pisces for the next 20 years. She goes into much more just copy and paste this link to find it on YouTube (https://youtu.be/F8ogwwA_l70). As always use your discernment.
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Emotional Barometer
There is a teaching I came across that I didn't understand. That teaching was to follow your instinct and it will direct you towards your highest good...or your 'true soul frequency.' I didn't understand this idea at all. I couldn't comprehend what it might mean but it dawned on me in the last few weeks. To me it was an abstract concept that really didn't speak to me. The teaching said to do what you're excited about...what I didn't realize is that emotions are the main way we can tell when we are excited about something. I would make decisions based on what excited me...that was easy when there were two options. I noticed that my life became joyful but the lesson wasn't very overt. Then something happened recently that took me by surprise and I realized that the feeling you get when a path is really wrong for you can be just as strong and even more obvious. Invalidating Emotions We are taught that we are supposed to be happy when we do certain things. Yet, sometimes we will do things that are supposed to make people 'happy' and it just doesn't invoke that feeling in us. Things just don't seem right and there is no excitement. Those emotions are warnings. I had, in a lot of ways, invalidated them from a very young age. For the longest time, I saw emotions as a weakness and an unnecessary stumbling block that prevented me from doing things other people felt important. I figured they were old instincts left over from the cave man days. Now, I see them very differently. I realize that they are tools, that they can be friends, and when I pay attention to them...sit with them and ask where they come from...I receive answers. They are a subtle guide. These guides, this emotional intuition, is our human inheritance. They are our greatest tool when navigating life. To Be In Charge or Not To Be? I was recently sent to a training course for my department at work. That's considered like a promotion but it doesn't include a raise of any kind. Just a bit more responsibility and it makes me qualified to become a supervisor. For me, this is not my first rodeo. I've got years of management experience. I've been a part of several training courses before for management. I have an Masters in Business Administration and a Business Associates. Some of the stuff was unique to the company but the overall idea was nothing new. The funny thing was that for every class I had this apprehension. This feeling that I shouldn't be there...not that I didn't belong or that it was anything new. I even lead parts of the class when the instructing manager stepped out for phone calls. I didn't fear these classes, they were easy, but I felt like I was dragging when I went to them. The experience should be uplifting...and I know that I deserve the recognition... Yet, I couldn't shake this feeling. There was that paralyzing anxiety where I didn't want to get out of bed. There was no good excuse for it but I had to force myself to go and to do it which isn't the way it should be...I was miserable, confused and mad at myself for this inexplicable feeling. The feeling of unease crept into other parts of my life. I began to be a little bit more irritable and moody then usual. Then I started talking to people about my feeling of unease and reluctance...and I realized what was wrong. I had a hard time even admitting that something was wrong. For all means and purposes I should be happy about being recognized. Thankfully my husband and my best friend Jennifer got it...they understood where I was coming from and let me sort it out by venting to them. When the realization dawned on me of why I felt that way....the feeling of release was awesome. Identifying The Cause Strangely, it wasn't until I started to talk to others that I realized why I was feeling this way. I don't feel unworthy of the job or that I can't do it...but that I don't want to go down the management path again right now in my life. The path would come easy for me to go down. Right now, however, I want to focus on having children. I probably won't have those kids until next year....but that is my main focus in life. Since that is my priority it really replaced any desire I have for being in management. After all, it was my desire to focus on having a family that prevented me from applying for the actual supervisor position. I feel a manager's main priority should be work and with all of the medical issues that will be attached to my pregnancy I don't want the extra stress and I would feel guilty for letting down my team if I was out for months. Not To Be This might sound a bit odd but I feel this was a test from Spirit. Do I really want to commit myself to a life dedicated to my family...to my kids? I have been in management before and it seems as though it's a theme in this life....do I want to have kids or do I want to be a manager. I believe in past lives and I believe that in at least three of those lives I've played the role of a 'manager'. As far as I can tell, in those past lives I was only a mother once and I was not a stay at home mother. In that life, my husband died when we were both relatively young leaving me to raise a child and run a hat company in London alone. I didn't do a very good job at being a mother in that life...but my company thrived. In a previous life I was the leader of an Abby or something similar to it with no children. In another life I was a male who ran brothels...lots of leadership roles and not much when it comes to cultivating a good home life for my family. So this might be a multiple life lesson that I will finally complete in my 7th life (I know I'm a relative newbie but I've had pretty deep lessons in those lives). As soon as I named the fact that I didn't want to be in management or pursue that sort of career...Boom! The feeling of foreboding and unease was gone. I've had other lives, after all, where I was a brilliant manager of lots of people. There is no need in this life to play that role. Meanwhile, it appears my husband has landed a manager type position at a company. For whatever reason it is his turn in this life to be the breadwinner and take that role. Watching him succeed is more than enough for me. Conclusion Emotions are tools that can indicate when you are behaving in a way that is not in alignment with your highest good. The trick is paying attention to them and exploring them even when it is difficult or uncomfortable. Shining a light into those dark recesses where we don't want to look...where we should be happy but for some unnamed reason are not...is hard. That goes against all of our social conditioning. More money at work should lead to more happiness right? I know that losing my daughter, Lilith-Ann, knocked me off the path of being a career manager. I really thought I wanted that in life and I thought I could do both...but now it's pretty clear that I'm not meant to be a career manager. Perhaps, it is because I expect a manager to give their all to their crew that I cannot be both. A good manager is never really off the clock. They can separate their work from home life but they are always there for their crew. They have to be available to cover shifts and handle emergencies. I work with multiple women who have grown children. They have the time and the resources to be a good manager. There are other people that I work with that can fill that role. They need their time to shine too. My choice in this life is to focus on a my home life and building something wonderful with my husband. This is a great example about how our emotions can completely disagree with our minds. We think it seems like a great idea but our emotional aspect and our soul is hitting the breaks! Listening to that intuition, which I have ignored in the past because I felt I 'should' do something...is so important. There is a subtle dance of interpretation and loving kindness...of understanding what the message is and accepting it even if it's not something that is a commonly held belief or desire. Learning to listen to that takes a little skill but anyone can do that...and that's how easy being guided by your intuition can get! We always have all of the answers to our own questions within...it's just learning to listen to that intuition and not what society teaches that can be a bit tricky! I'm relying on an older blog that I wrote today because life has been very busy for me the last two week since I returned to work. This is the final of the series of blogs I wrote about "Toxic Beliefs." These are beliefs that cause people to make poor choices in their lives. Toxic Belief's can literally control and influence a person. Often times these beliefs are inherited or conditioned into a child by his parents or society.
When we are in school we learn really fast that unless you're absolutely sure you know the answer don't raise your hand to answer a question. This is why so may teachers resort to asking specific students and embarrassing them horribly when they get it wrong, questions. Most people are taught to be afraid of failure by their teachers who do not teach to inspire creativity but with the intention that everything in life has a clear answer. This doesn't teach anyone the proper coping skills for life. Most of the questions we ask as an adult don't have a clear or concise answer. Just put a Pro-Lifer and a Pro-Choicer in a room together. Soon there will be tufts of hair and claw marks on the walls but for all the efforts there is a very concise proper answer that anyone can agree upon. In a subjective world right and wrong/ good versus evil is often in the eyes of the beholder. The few things that are obviously wrong or evil are in our laws. This is why trial by public opinion is so fallible. Expecting there to be a "correct" answer to every question you might have in life...is a horrible flaw in our school system. Often times, kids won't even try some new intellectual exercise or share their opinion for fear that it will be "wrong." That is part of the reason, that Chip Foose from Overhaulin' is credited to saying that kids don't create any more. They're not taught to create, they are only taught to consume and to accept what people give them. Only proven experts in their fields are allowed to create. Sadly, if we had always had this idea we wouldn't have the marvels that Alexander Graham Bell created, or the tale of Benjamin Franklin's kite experiment or Nikola Tesla's crazy antics. We wouldn't half the things in this world if some 'academic expert' went back in time to tell the people who experimented that they didn't have enough education in a certain field to make something. Part of this is because hands on class room activities have been removed because of budget constraints. Another part has to do with the fact that Academic Schools are so stuck in their little bubbles they don't look outside of it. In Psychology we were required to learn even the failed theories and explanations for behavior. Fraud's theories were hopelessly flawed because they were so biased from his era (you would think we would learn from that!). Freud also believed that cocaine was a cure-all but you don't hear about that in any of the psychology classes where they seriously study his flawed theories (http://www.openculture.com/2014/04/igmund-freud-researched-got-addicted-to-cocaine.html). Since Academia requires everyone to think in the lines of the predecessors any radical new idea is completely and utterly dismissed. To think outside of the box and act like one of the people who pioneered (indeed in many ways created) the field of study is considered to be an insult to the Academic Institution. Thus, unless you are tucked away in some College or University somewhere studying a specific field be it Philosophy, Economics, Psychology, Physics, etc....you are not allowed to have an opinion. You're a hack. You are not credible. Creativity is shut down when it is suggested there is only one way to do things. Becoming bogged down in theory can really cause creativity to stagnant. We have reached the point where we know so much, or at least theoretically we think we have it worked out to the point of a general consensus, that we refuse to allow for a margin of error. Trial and Error All of us learn by measuring ourselves against whatever objective we have. When you're an adult you learn to cook by burning some bread. There are inevitable bad meals...either it didn't cook right or you don't follow the directions. In adult life failing is a common every day battle...unlike in school where you could sit in the back of the classroom, hand in all of your homework and hopefully never draw the attention of your teacher. Teaching should focus on having people try...and not punishing people for having the 'correct' answer. Most of the teachers I knew taught from the book and if you didn't answer exactly as the book stated...it was considered wrong. The teachers often were not capable of critical thinking skills. However, we don't come out of the womb with a textbook in which every exact detail about how we will navigate our life is written. I have trained a lot of people over the years. Often hands on experience is totally different from learning the idea of something in a classroom. I don't expect someone to know automatically how to make a latte. Even if they read a detailed book on the art of making lattes I would not expect them to make a perfect latte on their very first try. Now, they may be informed more than the next person but I don't assume they even know what a latte is (espresso and milk, sometimes served with a syrup or sauce for flavor). To assume someone will get it right off the bat is just wrong...and even with extreme theoretical knowledge I guarantee they will be uncertain that first time. Talking about doing something in theory is very different from doing. Sadly, in most classrooms there is not much doing...but a lot of talking. Doing is messy. When doing things you can be more creative. When doing things you can sometimes stumble over something brilliant that everyone else missed or didn't appreciate. Do you think that the custom car shops became popular because everyone wants to drive a custom car? No, such shops operate in a niche that no one could have predicted would exist twenty years ago. Creative people are what drive innovation and it's a group that is dying in the United States because of the prevalent Group Think foisted upon a Media and Academia that insist only theoretical experts can have a valid idea. Your Education and Job Don't Define You We've all seen it when you watch the news. The man person they are telling about whether they were murdered or they won the latest marathon...they inevitably tell you the person name and their job title. Doesn't matter if the job title is Stay At Home Mom...according to the news or about anyone else what 'you do' defines you. They never say, "Tom the laziest accountant in Moth Industries..." No, they simply say accountant and leave the rest to your imagination. By the end of the segment you have this idea that the's the most knowledgeable accountant that has ever lived and you wished you had such a firm calling. Most often then not people bumble into a career. To me, too many people expect their kids to come out of their womb and know exactly what they want to be when they grow up and how to get there. That's just an unrealistic expectation. Teachers seem to hold this same expectation. They don't allow for kids to have the room to grow and give them the opportunities for a multitude of experiences so they can choose what they like. This is why a kid can go to college with a Nursing degree...go to intern and discover they can't stand the sight of blood. Still others end up career students who bumble towards one degree to another until they've spent ten years in college and thousands of dollars in student loans...because in truth they are happy with their minimum wage waitress job and are too embarrassed to admit it. So they work towards becoming 'something better' but they never go anywhere because their calling was to be a waitress. Parents would be serve better to give their children ample opportunity for trial and error. Then when a child gets upset becomes something fails they can be coached on how to deal with failure. They should be encouraged to try multiple jobs. Unless a kid has a very specific career goal in mind...a parent should teach them it's okay to be happy with a union job stocking shelves or delivering packages. Not everyone needs to go to college. Not everyone is meant to be a doctor and most jobs don't really require degrees...or you end up working in a field totally unrelated to your degree (http://www.forbes.com/sites/johntamny/2013/02/10/sorry-left-and-right-no-job-requires-a-college-degree/#530266eb76af). Perhaps, in the 1920's-1980's when degrees were less prevalent they had some value. Now, they make a good paper weight. We all make mistakes and we are all going to make a mess when we do something wrong. We're not little robots where we get fed data for 15 years and come out perfect for one specific job and that alone. In fact, most people just find a niche, a specific thing that they do well, and by doing it well they become successful. Sometimes, that's role is something the company didn't even know they needed or the person creates an industry know one else perceived had a market. We all are going to try things that don't work out, but the art is in the attempt of trying new things. At the end of the day there is no one sitting around keeping a score card of every failure and success that you have in your life....except yourself. In fact, most people don't even need to know when and how much you failed. They judge you by the person you present to them in the moment you meet. Sometimes, as in my case, even when you technically screw up a first date mistakes can lead to the best things in your life. Trying, failing...and then getting up is what really makes life worth living. No one who is successful ever became successful by never taking a risk. That fear is how people lose everything. Not Trying Sometimes the biggest risk is simply getting out of bed to try something new. Letting go of past failures is a huge talent that must be grown. So, you messed up, no one is keeping score. Maybe you looked like an idiot the other day at a restaurant when you went to pick up a fork, your wrist came down on a spoon in such a way that you launched in straight at the head of the waitress and shew as knocked unconscious. So what? Tomorrow it will make a great story to tell a new friend. Sometimes you just simply have to try something to see how it goes. Not very long ago I went with my husband and his friend to Six Flags. I was a bit terrified of going on all of those roller coasters. A long time had passed since I had gone on roller coasters. I found that I was a little bit out of the age bracket as mostly teenagers were at the park. Yet, even though I did get a little bit bruised I had a blast going on the roller coasters and didn't even feel sick. Some of the coasters were intense. If you never try an activity you'll never know what it is like. Fear, and a rigid rulebook of what is good and evil, often causes people to fear trying new things and so they stick to the same old pattern. Even when they are deeply unhappy they cling to that pattern hoping for different results...they keep getting what they got (a quote from Collette Baron Reid). At some point, when the pain gets to be to much...that person will have a breakthrough. Sometimes they end up in a hospital or sometimes they lose their job. They didn't listen to their own feeling of suffering so they don't get out in time... When if they would have just gone maybe they would have found something better that makes them happy (although, there is a bit of a trick to that as well...because you'll never find happiness outside in the material world). Almost everyone is happy their first few months at a job. Learning something new causes the time to fly by and even though it might be stressful it's naturally fun. Overcoming Fear By realizing that everyone fails and that nothing is going to be 100% correct the first time we must attempt many activities in our lives. Sometimes, it's figuring out a way to make it as low cost as possible so the financial damage is not terrible if it fails. Sometimes, it's taking the risk of being judged such as writing this blog. My fear of being judged is one of the biggest ones that I have...I don't want people to look at I write and make fun of me. Yet, I have never had that happen. I've been writing a blot with some pretty weird stuff in it for over two years now...and not one negative reply from the people who read it. I get a lot of positive feedback but not negative. Sometimes, we just have to look fear in the eye and smile. Say hello, ask where he came from and ask where he is going. Usually, when we do whatever we are scared of...and somehow survive!- that fear fades away. Fear is a useful tool, if it's used as a tool and not a way of life. Fear allows us to know when to proceed with caution. New endeavors usually take some form of investment and we should question if the cost is worth the potential risk. Yet, without taking that chance...without doing or creating...mankind would still be living in caves dressed in animal skins barely surviving. Limiting ourselves to familiarity limits the breadth and depth of the life we have come here to experience. Further, if we never challenge the Rule Books (conditioning) that we are given by our family, parents, and society we will never know what are truly their beliefs based on their experience and our own beliefs. We are all experts on life...each hour we continue to breathe and survive we are proving our worth and right to be here. No one can take that away from us and no one can take our desire to try out new and innovative ideas or ways of thinking. If everyone worked like Robots, like drones in the Borg Collective, there wouldn't be much innovation. There is no wonder that the reason the Borg in the Star Trek series could only grow by assimilating other species ideas into their 'collective.' Their hive mind limited their creativity. This is why I reject the idea of Unity Mind. We need to focus on our individuality...and as individuals there is no right way or right path to anything. We simply have to forge forward into the unknown creating as we go, sometimes we will fall, but we will always exist...we will always survive in some form. We have all of eternity and that's a very long time. So we don't have to do it all in this life...better that we choose to challenge and grow in every direction that we feel the impulse. So go get out those gardening shears. By that Art Supply you've been staring at but fear touching because you haven't been formally trained. The formally trained people simply have more superficial 'rules' to create blind spots for them. You are free...free to create what you will the way you want to and in doing that you may just transform the world. The secret is...there is no "Right" way to do anything...and if there is a routine it's because someone else tried and failed many times before to create that routine. That doesn't make it the right way and always leaves a lot of room for improvement. Conclusion We must not allow the Fear of Failure or Fear of Being Wrong prevent us from sharing new ideas with the world or trying new activities. We need to learn, create and innovate. That is within the very nature of who we are as human beings. The most successful people feel fear but take the risk anyways while minimizing any potential damage failure might cause. There is never success if one does not first take a risk. Mistakes occur, especially on a first attempt, so we must be gentle with ourselves in the process. Failure does happen, but we have to remember that's part of the life we have come here to experience. There is a level of impermanence to everything, a level of risk, and it is because of this very tangible feeling that we learn so quickly and so deeply. If we never attempt to try new things, to offer new ideas from our own unique perspective, then we will be missing out on a huge fulfilling aspect of life. Not to mention humanity will be missing out on a unique voice. Think if George Washington had been silent. What if Jesus had remained silent and never taught the masses? What if Buddha kept enlightenment to himself? At the end of the day, there is no Right Way or One Path to the Creator...there are many broken paths that lead to our individual identity comprehending the profundity of the Universe. Each path we carve is unique. If it were anything else there would be very little point in this experience. We may not always choose easiest fork in the road. The difference is moving forward even when we've made the worst choice and making the best of it. A long time ago when I used to load trailers we would get to the end of the trailer...there would be one row of boxes left and not much room. Many of the guys would give up and try to call for another trailer...a waste of resources and time. The supervisors would call me, because I would tell them, I'll find a way. Sometimes, it was being creative, sometimes it required that I rebuild the wall of boxes someone else had created before I got there...but I always managed to fit even the very last box. The supervisors didn't know how I did it...but they called on me to do it and by sheer intention...I always made it happen. Every experience is worthy because it teaches us more about ourselves. Learning to accept being wrong or to accept failure with grace is one of the most noble things human beings can do...admitting we are wrong is very hard but nothing that humans create is perfect or permanent. I cannot fix everything. I can't heal the sick or bring the dead back to life...but that's not something I was called upon to do in this life. Each of us have our own unique talents and gifts that are just as valuable as these miraculous ones. Our unique voice and perspective contributes to the beauty of the whole. That is part of the beauty of our lives. Take the road less traveled, even if you don't know where it might go...take the advice of the 'experts' with a grain of salt. All of us are really just making up all of this as we go...all of this is just subjective and the entire world could change over night if everyone opened their minds to the possibility that everyone else might be right at the same time....on an individual basis....without the need for consensus and Group Think. Live, let be, risk/sow and reap what you have grown while causing harm to no one. Simple words that I live by in my day to day life. I picked up Spiritual Breakthrough a Handbook to God Consciousness by John Van Auken on a whim. I have never desired to follow any handbook in order to reach God Consciousness. However, I was curious to see what such a thing might say. I was very happy with my purchase. The book is available through Amazon.com.
People cannot expect an immediate result from reading this book. The meditation techniques provided take practice and dedication over a considerable period of time and John Van Auken makes this clear throughout the book. I do not recommend that people pick up this book solely for that purpose. There is a lot of information in this book that is simply helpful to understand and sums up perfectly what I have discovered in my own personal journey although I often did not comprehend it. This book is a guide through the different levels of 'consciousness.' I really recommend buying and reading the book to get the bigger perspective. One of my favorite parts was in Chapter One in a section titled "The Collective": "Genesis begins, "In the begining God (Elohiym pronounced "Aloheme") created the heavens and the earth." The Hebrew word "Elohiym" is a plural noun for "deity." The use of the plural form reflects the collective wholeistic nature of God. When Elohiym speak "they're" refer to themselves in the plural, such as: "Let us make him in our image, according to our likeness." Thus, Elohiym is not a singular, supreme entity separate from the creation. God is the Collective, composed of the created ones while at the same time their source. We actually contribute to the composition of God. That is not to say that we compose all of God's being, but simply to say that a portion of God's being is us. As Jesus explained to Philip, "He who has seen me has seen the father; how can you say, "Show us the Father? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own authority; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father in me; or else believe me for the sake of the works themselves." Pg 4, Chapter One, Spiritual Breakthrough. That quote from the bible is John 14:10. John Van Auken has a way of making sense of the bible and what Edgar Cacye taught. He ties all of the information he provides to the biblical sources as well as Eastern ideas such as Kundalini. He explains that when Adam fell so did the serpent and the serpent represents Kundalini. Kundalini is a way of describing life force. I will cover that topic when finally start working on my posts about Serpents. Another of my favorite parts is when he explains what dawned on me not too long ago. I had never seen it anywhere else but it was a huge validation for me: "It is also a fundamental concept that the mind is temporarily divided into three parts: the conscious, subconscious and super conscious. These three parts may be thought of as three distinct planes of consciousness, or dimensions. The parts should be integrated, leading to full birthing of the true self. The true self is fragmented, living in the three distinct levels of consciousness...on the physical level we must allow more of the soul and spirit come through." Chapter 4 pg 75 He also provides a Map of Consciousness. He breaks it down as "The Three Bodies" The Three Minds The 3 Beings Spirit Super Conscious "god" Soul Subconscious Individuality Physical Conscious Personality This helpful little chart really puts it into perspective. Most people are operating on a Physical, Conscious, Personality level. I have discovered a great deal of Buddhist teachings are meant to dissolve the personality. By letting go of the desire for a personality you can experience more of your individuality while sensing that you are a part of a whole...so this is right in tune with what I usually perceive. A personality has to pick a side, they have to choose black or white and what baseball team to root for...this is a solid description of ourselves to which we cling. An individuality retains a certain flavor but isn't so "solid." There is less rigidity and harmony. I will cover this a little bit more when I review Pema Chodron's book, "When Everything Falls Apart. Heart Advice For Difficult Times." Finally, there is this in Chapter 4 page 116 Titled There Are Two Aspects to the Godhead: "One is the Universal Consciousness which includes the Communion of Saints, the Akashic records, the personal Father-God, and all life in activity. The other is the vast Infinite One, unmoved, from out of which all else has found expression..." Again, I have had this same impression of the Godhead in my own spiritual journeys and visions. I had no idea about this previously. The infinite one would be along the lines of Brahman in the Hindu cosmology. I highly recommend Spiritual Breakthrough Handbook to God Consciousness to anyone who is on a Spiritual Path. The book contains information that I have found at the core of every religion and have validated in my own Spiritual Experiences. John Van Auken explains these complex ideas in a very simple and easy to understand manner. While it is no guarantee and the techniques are not for everyone I love how John Van Auken describes the experience of God Consciousness as an expansion of oneself. Instead of seeking different dimensions or traveling somewhere you are simply taught to open up to a more expanded version of yourself. He encourages the Seeker to go directly to Source which I think is very important. As promised here is my Valentines Day post. I wrote this mostly angled for those who don't have a loved one in their life. Yet it can apply to anyone who is hoping their situation will change for the better...be it a move or a job or whatever change you may desire.
All of us experience cycles. I've experienced a five year cycle where I learn something and a three year cycle of a spiritual growth spurt on a regular basis. To really experience something new, we have to make room for new experiences and to do that we have to put to bed our old lessons. I'm going to explain the process to open up for healing so you can close down those old emotional lessons you've been re-experiencing in your life and how to open up the room for a new more positive experience. Don't Fear The Unknown Fear. We all feel it at times. The feeling can be pervasive. Sometimes it doesn't seem to have a source. All of us Fear change, we try to hold onto the past pleasurable moments and fear the negative. When things start to change we leap to the worst case scenario mentally...then worry about it incessantly and as the psychological concept of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy explains...our subconscious does everything in it's power to validate our expectation. Since we live in a subjective reality it is easy to find proof that our fear are valid. We can almost prove any point that we make our mind up to argue. I discovered this during my college years. I would take a stance, seek out articles and studies that supported it and craft my entire paper around a hypothesis. Not once did I find information that suggested an error...if I did find something that contradicted the point of view I was arguing I'd leave it out of the paper. In fact, every fear you have is valid. There I said it...it is possible to experience all of your worst nightmares in every scenario you encounter in your life. If that is what you want to experience. If you want to experience the more positive side of fear learning to frame it properly so it does not control your life is an important step. Sometimes to gain something very important we have to take a huge risk. With love, when you first meet someone you like there is the risk of rejection. Accepting impermanence, the cycle of life in death where nothing lasts forever in our reality, alleviates the pain of fear. Even if you are rejected you know the feeling won't last forever. You can dedicate time to feeling that fear or you can examine it, label it and release it. As long as we Fear the feeling of Fear we will hold onto all of the emotional baggage of our past. We will continually project it onto others and onto our future. We will create the reality we don't want. Instead, we must make Fear a friend. When fear comes to visit I greet it, "Oh hello there old friend. Nice to see you again. What is it that I need to be mindful of?" Once it delivers the message it goes away...if I fight it the feeling grows and grows until it's overwhelming and I can't even bring myself to leave the house. Life itself seems to lose it's vibrancy. I'm in the lowlands of despair. Some people spend their entire life in that despair because they hold onto their fears and regrets so tightly they don't allow themselves to experience anything else. When you reach the point where you don't fear the Unknown...where you don't care about how you go from A to B...you enter a very powerful place. In fact, you start to see that the Unknown is not a dark black hole...but a brilliant white blank slate of potential. Clearing Your Emotional Energy In order to create room for something new in your life...you first have to recognize what didn't work in the past...but in order to do that you have to accept the pain you felt as a result of the decisions you made and release the hold of that pain in your life. Exploring that pain takes a certain amount of bravery. No one likes to see where they are lacking or examine a painful situation they experienced from multiple perspectives. I find it hard not to shut down emotionally in such situations let alone revisit or re-imagine them! Back in 2007, just before meeting Ross, I cleared up a huge mental hurdle I had for myself. I felt that I was lacking something because I was divorced. I didn't see why anyone would give me a chance again because I had not been faithful to my vows the first time. I realized I had said those vows only out of obligation and that I had no control of what had ended that relationship. I released the label completely. By naming that label- a divorcee- and then releasing any emotional energy that it had over me I moved into a state of expectation. I knew that I deserved a better experience. I knew that what had influenced me in the past had no power over me in my current life. Just because I had a failed marriage didn't mean I was doomed to repeat that mistake. I was emotionally honest with myself. I knew why the last marriage hadn't worked. I identified the behavior, mostly a lack of self-esteem and social conditioning that a girl who dated a lot of people was a whore. I realized the role that had played in my poor choices and I healed them. This was a powerful process. When I met Ross in 2008 I was a totally different person that I had been before. I was more emotionally honest. I was less of a people pleaser. If he didn't like me it wouldn't matter. I would go on, and there would be someone else if I chose. I didn't take it so seriously when I made a mistake or beat myself up for hours afterwards. On our first date when I farted a lot because I had a white pasta sauce that flared up my lactose intolerance...I let it go. I didn't dwell on it. The decision if he would come back for more was up to him and as unlikely as it would seem...for him it was a breath of fresh air to be with someone who was authentic. To release emotional energy we have to accept that we had a bad experience. We have to own our role in creating that experience because in any situation where two people were involved both are responsible. I made poor decisions from a place of dis-empowerment that led to my first marriage that was horrible. All of the signs were there that he was not mentally healthy. I should have run away screaming. I chose to stay with him. I chose to try and save him from himself...which was never my burden or my role to play. By owning my owning my own mistakes and the responsibility I held in that situation I was able to learn from them. I was able to adjust my approach to relationships in such a way that I would not repeat that experience. We often repeat the same lesson over and over again until we learn from them. Unless we learn what we did to get what we got...we're going to keep doing the same behavior and keep getting the same thing. Preparing The Way In 2007 I didn't know I was preparing for the Best Life Partner I could ever have met coming into my life. I was just trying to live life the best way I possibly could. We don't really need 'tools' to prepare the way. Instead it's it is a frame of mind we apply in the now...in this very moment. The best definition for abundance I have come across is from Bashar. He describes abundance not as money but as, "Being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it." In that way, I am very abundant and when you feel abundant it carries over to every other area of your life. I discovered that in 2008 when I met Ross. I was already abundant and happy...he sensed that and was attracted to me. If I had felt needy he would not have been attracted to me. Being in that zone means that you have to accept where you are at in life. You can't sit there thinking, "My life could be better if I had this...this...and this..." In that way you'll always wait for life to 'happen' to you instead of being an active participant. Then when something blind sides you and you're wondering why...you feel like a helpless victim and not someone who played a role in the situation. You have to know that right now in this very moment your life is the best that it could be...that you have mind the potential in every situation that you have faced. Sure, you don't have to be 100% happy with the situation you are in right now...but you have to realize life is never going to be perfect (and to say that it has to be is, in a way, arguing with Reality and God...and it's just an insane way to choose to suffer). I wasn't 100% happy living in my parents house in Big Bear Lake. I felt isolated and I felt bad that I didn't have my own independence. Yet, I chose to embrace it and to make the best of the moment. I enjoyed showering my parents with thoughtful gifts and I bought my very first vehicle (my 2007 Ranger) right off of the lot! To experience abundance you have to be happy with what you have and not focus on what you lack. That means taking inventory and finding ways that you were lucky. I was lucky my parents were very loving and supportive of me allowing me to live in their house. I was lucky to live in a place that so embodies nature and I only had to drive a couple minutes to reach a nature walk that I could enjoy with Angel. I was lucky to have my dog, Angel, as my constant companion. I had a lot of blessings, but I really had to appreciate them and accept them with every fiber of my being to really feel abundant. When you reach the point where you feel that all of your needs are being met...you have fulfilled Robert Malsow's Hierarchy of Needs. At that point, you are a Self-Actualized person. Malsow suggested that only 2% of the population is self-actualized! Only 2% of the people are capable of meeting all of their own needs! That's when the real miracles happen. I can attest that you might be self-actualized at one moment and in the next have your feet cut off from beneath you. I believe that we are spiritually tested in this way and at some point you can (because I have) become comfortable with that uncertainty...that groundlessness. If you feel as though you are lacking something in your life the best way to deal with it is to prepare. Go through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs...identify areas where you feel as though you are lacking...and search for a solution. Believe me if you Seek you will Find and you will be Fulfilled. Every person's journey is unique. What worked for me may not work for you. Some people might not achieve it in this life time. That's okay, at our essence we are infinite beings so there really isn't need to rush. Accepting The Unexpected I did a little ceremony before I met Ross. I sat down and I wrote down in my journal everything I wanted in a man. That list was over one hundred items long! I just poured out everything I wanted. Everything I desired. I wrote that same list on another piece of paper. This was during the winter of 2007. When the fire in the hearth was going pretty good I threw in the paper. I let go of all of those expectations. What I didn't realize was that I had set an intention, then I let go of expectations. By burning that paper of expectations I let the Universe know that I was going to accept whatever it provided. This, I've learned, is a basic way of manifestation. You set an intention, you place the order with the universe, you get into a state of gratefulness for what you expect to arrive...and you let go of expectations. If I had insisted on a person who met all one hundred of those traits...if I had looked for them instead of just being accepting of whoever came...I would not have reached out to Ross. When I went back to look at the list many years later in my journal I realized he actually met all of those expectations. He fulfilled all 100 but not quite in the way I had anticipated. That's how the Universe works sometimes. Reaching out to Ross in the first place was a fluke. I was on Ok Cupid for the Myers Briggs Type Indicator Test. I stumbled onto part of the website that allowed you to rate guys. I was really enjoying rating the guys and giving the ones I thought were really fake and egotistical lower scores. When I saw Ross' profile I thought it was fake and wrote a snarky letter calling him out...little did I have any idea it would lead to the greatest romance in my life. Ross was far from an echo chamber. He didn't think or feel the same way as I do...he still doesn't. I've had an influence on him...he's no longer a straight up atheist as he realized it's anti-god. Yet, that's what makes our relationship so interesting. Often times, what we expect or what we think we want is not what we need. That's why it's so important to let go of expectations and accept what comes our way. This allows for so much more creativity and the Universe can deliver you the perfect thing or person you didn't expect. Conclusion In order to make room for the new in our life we have to follow a bit of a process. Each of our processes are unique. At different levels of our own life path we will experience a different cycle of release and rebirth. First, we can't fear the unknown. We have to let go of the Fear and open ourselves up to infinite possibility. Second, you have to let go of your emotional baggage and pain. As long as you're identifying with something painful you radiate that energy and you will only attract something similar. The only way to create something new is to let go of that old pain and energy...let it heal instead of keeping that wound open. Think of it as personally cleaning up your mental house. Third, prepare the way or set an intention. How you do it doesn't matter...the simple the better. Don't worry about how you're going to get from A to B or set a date. Just feel the excitement that you can feel the way being cleared so that it can come into your life. The universe has it's own timing and thought it might not meet what you expect...it's always perfect and looking back you realize how perfect that timing really was but usually only in hindsight. This takes a little bit of trust that the universe will bring you what you need when you need it....but once you can search your heart and find that trust your life will open up in new and exciting ways. Four, accept the unexpected. If we are holding onto a very specific ideal we might reject everything else...even the Greatest Experience we might ever have.. because we were only looking for one specific experience. When we are looking for that one thing...we might over look a dozen similar things that would serve us better that the universe has presented but because it didn't match exactly what we wanted. Five, live in the moment. Explore the depths of every moment for the golden nuggets of wisdom and the type of experiences that bring you the most joy. By doing this now you are building yourself a better future. We can't go back to yesterday and we can't fast forward to the future...if we experienced only the high points in our life we would miss out on the depth of the experience that often gives us the most wisdom. Evert moment is precious. Every time we meet a stranger we have an opportunity to learn a little bit more and express our compassion a little bit more...making the entire world a better place. Well, it seems like a formula that I have presented. You don't have to do it in exactly this order but this is what I have learned works for me. As I said, the process might be different for you. At different stages in life and spiritual development it may take a longer or shorter period for the change you want to enter your life. Each of us have a unique path...this is just what I've experienced. Marrying a skeptic has been the best experience. I am very grateful for my loving husband and I have many cherished stories about our experiences together. I never would have considered marrying a skeptic...if I had held fast to what I was looking for...I might have demanded someone who was a complete mirror of me. I would have missed out as Ross continuously challenges me to grow intellectually. I can even apply the same situation to my best friend Jennifer. If I had rejected her husband Joe when he said, "Oh my gosh you remind me of my wife I bet the two of you will make great best friends..." I would never have the fantastic relationship I have with her. She makes my life just that much sweeter. Don't hold onto your emotional baggage expecting to get what you already got, open up your mind to all possibilities and live every moment acting in compassion...and you really can't go wrong. I hope you enjoyed this post and I wish you a wonderful Valentines Day
I thought of giving this title, "Stop Arguing With God." Yet, it is a bit more universal as even people without spiritual beliefs can find meaning in this idea.
I will be referencing Pema Chodron's, a Buddhist Monk, book "When Everything Falls Apart: Heart Advice For Difficult Times" throughout this blog. This really speaks to the suffering that I see almost daily when people post their political perspectives. Everyone in this world is so busy trying to force their will upon this world into what they think it should be...they don't take the time to really see what their effort might create. This was another epiphany that I want to share because my suffering has been alleviated a lot since I had this realization. A lot of us don't want to admit that we are suffering. One of the reasons I love the Buddhist tradition is because they flat out state that most of us are suffering...that's a core principal of the Eight Noble Truths of the Buddha. The suffering, in my opinion, comes from not accepting reality. Instead of accepting the world/reality as it is we fight it...trying to shape it with our own will. This is tantamount to telling God/Source the Natural Order is imperfect and that we could do a better job. How completely disrespectful is that? When you look at our cities (which attempt to replace the Natural Order) I think you can see the will of man is nothing compared to the wisdom of the Natural Order. We don't walk through the cities of mankind to become uplifted...that is something you only find in the Natural Beauty of a National or State Park. Mankind's attempt to force their will on the planet and shape it into a 'better reality' has failed miserably. Yet, we still try to argue with reality. We keep trying to force our will upon it instead of working with it as though we know better than the Natural Order set in motion by something bigger then us. We don't want to accept how things are in this world. There are certain rules, they are not even really defined by Science they are so basic, but they are known and are generally common knowledge. Yet, most of us trying to fight against the existence of these things. We are constantly at war within our minds with the nature of reality that exists on this planet. We look at this planet, we see that people are hungry and homeless and we want to change it. We see that people are being judged and we want to change it. We see that there is unfairness and inequality and we want to change it. We see that there is death and we want to change it. We try to hold onto all of the pleasant experiences and fend off the negative experiences. We want to hold onto the pleasant emotions and de-legitimatize the negative emotions. Emotions Much as we wish that we were emotionless robots that don't experience pain...we are humans and we have a full range of emotions. When we look at how we treat children in school and employees in the work place- how they become statistics, a mere number- it is clear humanity is struggling with this idea. We live in an era where we are dehumanizing the human experience. We try to make every person a carbon copy of everyone else that never have bad days. Then when the people we interact with don't live up with this inhuman expectation someone goes and writes a bad customer review. We punish people for being human. One of the most damaging things I've seen recently is that people think others are responsible for their emotional state of being. Further, they want strangers that owe them nothing to aid them with their emotional state of being. I'm sorry to inform you that the minimum wage worker at your local bar or restaurant is not responsible for your emotional state of being. At the end of the day such behavior...going to others to be raised to a positive emotional level is called being an Energetic Vampire. If you're really bad dealing with your own emotions you're going to be very lonely because such behavior naturally repels others. Learning to work with all of our emotions is one of the most important lessons that we have during or lives. This is a grown up thing to do but sadly most of our population walks around behaving on the emotional level of toddlers. When we don't explore the depths of ALL of our emotions we are doing ourselves a disservice. Pema Chodron sums it up best: "As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don't deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity. To the degree that we've been avoiding uncertainty, we're naturally going to have withdrawal symptoms- withdrawal from always thinking that there's a problem and that someone, somewhere, needs to fix it. Pema Chodron When Things Fall Apart : Heart Advice For Difficult Times Chapter 9 page 54 Most of us are taught by our parents not to deal with our emotions. We start to cry and they give us a candy. That's because our parents have never really worked with their own emotions and try to run away from the painful emotions. That's why we reach for food, alcohol, or the television. We try to escape the pain that we are feeling. We try to drown in it out. We do have the option of learning from these emotions. Fear is appropriate when it is dark and a stranger is approaching us. Anger is appropriate when a boundary is crossed by someone. By working with these feelings, naming them and taking appropriate action we can start to work with them and they no longer come on so big. Our unpleasant emotions can be our best teachers. If we listen to them, honor them but remain detached for them. When we let them control us or try to ignore them we experience a lot of pain. Meditation has been the best way for me to learn how to work with my emotions. Inequality This one gets a lot of attention. In fact, there are a lot of movements because of Inequality. Most people know that not all of us are going to be millionaires. It is hard to look at kids whose parents are millionaires and not want their lives. There have been attempts at the level of government, mostly Socialism, to try and 'fix' this part of our reality. Again, this is having an argument with reality and God. We seem to want a world of robots that have the exact same talents, exact same gifts, and exact same everything...yet, when you put it that way it is evident this would be boring and not accomplish much. As our economies change and we see more service industry jobs and less manufacturing and administrative...we are going to see more people become financially 'poor.' This is part of the effect of globalization. In the United States, at least, we have the freedom to choose to work three jobs if we want to and if we want to do a little side business for extra cash we can. Yet, we are rewarded by how much effort we have put forth. Socialism has proven to fail because people are not motivated when they are better at something but get paid the same wage as someone who is bad at the job. Who is going to put forth more effort if they are not compensated? Inequality is a wonderful and beautiful part of our reality. This is what creates diversity. Not everyone is good at the same thing an that's wonderful. For example, I'd be a terrible accountant. I would never get the job as an accountant and then insist on making as much money as the best accountant in the company because we have the same job title. Inequality will always exist. We have the choice to know ourselves and find jobs appropriate to our own strengths. In some rare cases we might even create a new job or industry that no one thought of because we can provide that service. I'm sure the family of the first professional dog walker doubted that could ever be a thing...but look what happened! If we stopped looking at what everyone else had we would find we have all we need to be successful in our own special way...without trying to inflict our will on others or argue with reality. A lot of the young people where I work hate having days off during the week. I worked a Monday - Friday job. Yeah, it was okay but after years of having days off during the week...I prefer it. I don't have to go out to shop when everyone else is shopping. I celebrate holidays on different days of everyone else and have no trouble getting a table at my favorite restaurant...to me the rest of the population is insane trying to compete for resources on a particular date. Again, it is all based on the individuals Frame of Reference and State of Mind. No one is responsible to teach another person this lesson (ok maybe psychologists and therapists...and it would be fantastic if they taught this in public education)...but as adults it's a responsibility to learn this! Stop arguing with the Natural Order of Reality that Source Created! Impermanence (Death) Some of our most brilliant scientific minds are insane. They study the Natural Order in an attempt to enforce their will upon it. Einstein was brilliant but his mathematical discoveries led to the most lethal weapon in existence. Science, in many ways, has led to more destruction of the Natural Order than enhancing the human experience. That's because they do not respect the Natural Order...they see everything as 'matter' that should be manipulated by man presumably because we are at the top of the food chain. Perhaps the most twisted idea they have had is to upload our personality into a computer and live forever. This is simply unnatural and again...is arguing with the Natural Order. Simply put this satisfies the Ego's desire for self-preservation but nothing else. I, personally, long ago decided that I do not want to live forever in this form. I'm very grateful that this form has an expiration date. The Buddhists called it Impermanence. When we look at everything around us we know all of it has an expiration date. Even the current experience that we are having in our personal life- a divorce, a crisis at work or difficulties accepting who is president...all of it has an expiration date. All of it has an ending. Nothing is permanent into our reality. We try to hold onto the moment, we take a picture or we take a note or we get a souvenir. Yet, the experience will still pass. We can go back and remember but the actual act will come to an end. The problem is when we try to hold onto things instead of letting them go fluidly. Instead of enjoying the moment we begin to worry about when (if ever) we will feel this way again...or we try to fight and make the feeling last forever. All of this is arguing with reality and the Natural Order of Source. Labeling/Naming When we are little we are taught the names for things..Ears, Eyes, Nose. Pretty soon we start sorting these into categories of good and bad. When I have a runny nose my nose is bad, for example. Yet, all of this is just a way of processing information and none of it is real. I have held the point of view that we live in a highly subjective reality. Pema Chodron captures this well: "Even if we don't talk about his particular teaching any further we can already see that many of our mood swings are related to how we interpret what happens. If we look closely at our mood swings, well notice that something always sets them off. We carry around a subjective reality that is continually triggering our emotional reactions. Someone says, "You're old.' and we enter into a particular state of mind- either happy or sad, delighted or angry. For someone else, the same experience might be completely neutral." Buddhisim has known this for centuries and Psychology just discovered this within it's brief experience. Imagine my surprise in my final Psychology class when I read that in the Capstone book. In the end, psychology can only give guidelines for classification...people cannot be categorized because there are just too many variables. The same goes with the rest of life. What I might label as a bad experience might be a wonderful experience for someone less inhibited. All of it is our frame of reference. If we do not do the personal work necessary we might end up being triggered at every moment. Pema describes this perfectly as well: "The experience of certain feelings can seem particularly pregnant with desire fo resolution: loneliness, boredom, anxiety. Unless we can relax with these feelings, it's very hard to stay in the middle when we experience them. We want victory or defeat, praise or blame. For example, if somebody abandons us, we don't want to be with that raw discomfort. Instead, we conjure up a familiar identity of ourselves as a hapless victim. Or maybe we avoid the rawness by acting out and righteously telling the person how messed up he or she is. We automatically want to cover over the pain in one way or another, identifying with victory or victim hood." Being a victim permanently is all within the eye of the beholder. Yes, you can be a victim in the moment but it's only if you hold onto your pain that you continue to identify yourself as a victim after that moment is passed. With the rising sun, with every pass moment, we can look at life as a rebirth if we choose. We can rest comfortably in the fact that nothing in this life lasts forever. There is a beauty in that constant in the Natural Order of our Reality. Life is transitory and if we keep that in mind we know that no matter how much discomfort we might be feeling it will pass. Instead of fighting that discomfort we can embrace it...minding the depths of the experience for golden nuggets of wisdom that we can keep. Conclusion I've only touched on the most painful and common ways people tend to Argue with Reality. The pain most people experience is a subconscious choice. Once you realize that you can start working with your emotions and uncomfortable painful situations more authentically your paradigm changes. Everything you experiences shifts in accordance to this new perspective. This requires emotional honesty...and what I call, "Standing Naked Before God." That's where you embrace all of your flaws and limitations. That's when you realize you are not equal to the infinite wisdom of Creation and the Natural Order. At some point you can stop being a little dictator in your own life. You can choose to try and stop trying to force your will onto the rest of the world.You can stop saying, "That isn't fair!" and trying to change the Natural Order. You can learn to rest with it..you can learn to gently console yourself when you are going through a particularly tough lesson that nothing in this world lasts forever. This is just a temporary learning process. With every stumbling block or personal trial you experience you have a choice. You can given into hopelessness and believe that you are a victim forever attracting experiences via that subconscious in a never-ending Self-Fulling Prophecy. In contrast, you can choose to open yourself to this infinite Natural Order of Creation. You can see the more humbling times as a wave in the ocean of the life that you float with effortlessly knowing that it will eventually ebb. You can rest in the knowledge that everything is this way for a reason and that trying to impose your will upon it only brings suffering. My experience with the latter has been a magical unfolding. I still have moments where I tense up. I rest in that moment, now and I embrace it. I explore the feeling...where is this coming from? I diffuse the feeling with gentle love. In all of this you must be gentle with yourself. The practice does not happen instantly. This is a multitude of generational conditioning patterns that we are sorting through and unfolding in our own lives. Yet, it becomes a magical process. Like a child you learn the small loving joy in life again. Every day becomes an opportunity and an adventure instead of a burden. I have begun to work with the Natural Order...accepting what comes to me without judgement knowing that it serves my Highest Good in some way because choose to search for those golden nuggets of wisdom instead of resisting the experience. Life becomes effortless. I can rest in the knowledge that what I need will be brought to me when I need it by the Natural Order. I don't worry or prepare for the worst tomorrow. I rest in the knowledge of what I experience full today in the moment or "the now" as some people call it. All of this reminds me of this quote Jesus/Yeshua made in Matthew 6:27-28: "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan? And why do you worry about clothes? Consider how the lilies in the field grow. They do not labor or spin." Here is a wonderful video from The Moore Show that really captures some of what I'm talking about... I was so excited last night when it occurred me to do this "life review" I couldn't sleep. When that happens I know it's a clue from my soul something good was going to come out of this meditation. Then a synchronicity happened and my cell phone was turned off because I failed to charge it last night. No distracting calls from my mother which is the only thing that allowed this blog to happen.
I'm spending today in quite meditation and contemplation. Tomorrow, I venture back out into the world of work. This is a sort of ending and a beginning. Although, my three weeks off of work was planned for my surgery it has proven to be far more. I expected it to be only two weeks but it ended up being three. In some ways it has been a very spiritual experience. For most of us who go a little bit deeper into the spiritual part of life anything can become a meditation. Meditation is simply placing the mind on a subject or an activity. Different practices are created with different aims. The spiritual epiphany I experienced, however, is a bit different. I'm not a joiner. I haven't followed a particular religion or a particular school of thought. I am attracted to Edgar Cacye's A.R.E. more then any other group. I believe this is probably because they follow an Inclusive practice where all Spiritual disciplines are considered equal and a reflection of the same nature of our reality. My spiritual epiphany is puzzling to me. All of what I have sought has been answered. Now, I am sitting back waiting and watching it unfold without the slightest clue as to what I might be producing. Edgar Cacye says Mind is the Builder and I intend to write a blog on that but where I am at on a mental level is far different than anything I've experienced in the past. The familiar patterns have been left behind. I have no idea what my Mind is Building or what to expect! Of course, this gives room to fear. What happens when the Mind and Spirit act as one? I'm not really sure. There really isn't much about this anywhere. There is a lot about pursuing God but not really what to do when you achieve that complete wholeness. While my future is a blank slate my past appears crystal clear. I can see a sort of story and symmetry to it that was previously impossible to grasp. In the Spirit of this moment I want to take a moment to look back. The following meditation is primarily for me, I'm reviewing my spiritual/mystical journey. The mystical experiences I've had are pretty darn uncanny. I had little choice but to lead a spiritual life of a Seeker although I wouldn't have it any other way when I look back. The journey has been terrifying and transcendental...sorrowful and yet joyful beyond compare. Perhaps you will be entertained by the stories, maybe they will inspire you on your own Spiritual Quest or maybe they will confuse you. This journey is very personal and unique to me, I don't expect anyone to have this same exact story. Yet, it can serve as an example of the broken path most of us walk. Spiritual Ideal In his book Spiritual Breakthrough John Van Auken uses this quote from an Edgar Cacye reading: "Ideas and Ideals are quite different. One rises from the finite, the other from the infinite." (Reading 3211-2) In order to know our Spiritual Ideal we have to really be in tune with Spirit (our Soul). I can't say that I know anyone in my personal sphere of influence that has attained this consciously or even pursued it..save myself. I certainly never meant to pursue it...I just 'followed my bliss' or what felt good I guess! In fact I thought that if you achieved the Ideal of the Soul that life would end. What purpose would the rest of your life serve if you weren't pursuing that goal? Yet, at the precipse that I am at I can see the Ideal that my Soul had in mind in this life. (I've been at a place of certainty before in my spiritual quest so I don't really trust it...Tomorrow all of this may come to mean nothing to me or be just a fabrication of wishful thinking. I believe I have the answers for now but as I've learned before when this happens life changes course and there is something new to be discovered in my personal Spiritual Quest.) I guess, the issue is I can't really perceive what might be next which is giving rise to doubt and fear. If I could define the spiritual ideal of my life as of this moment it appears to be, "Awaken within the Dream to an understanding of my True Divine Nature." I will get to what that means at the end of the post. I can see now a multidimensional perspective of events in my life. When I experienced them they were very personal and very discouraging. The emotions involved completely blinded to me regarding what the purpose might have been. I felt very much like a victim and not a willing active participant that would choose such suffering. My conscious mind certainly would not have chosen these events. Yet, now I can see a very definite purpose. I can see how my Soul diligently tried to steer me toward my Spiritual Ideal even when my conscious self wanted nothing to do with spiritual interests. After all, we have an instinctive desire to conform and be like all of those around us...spiritually speaking a lot of people are dead in this world. I would never have conceived of myself as a Mystic. I tend to stay very left brained and logical which is the perspective of most of our society. Just saying that I have had mystical expediences makes me uncomfortable. My mind might have wanted to pursue an ordinary life, not a mystical one, but Spirit or my Soul (kind of interchangeable) wasn't about to let that happen. A Meditation On The Past Early Childhood Memories I have two really odd early memories. Profound Spiritual Insight The first one was when I was playing Barbies. I was young, probably four or five. I would assign a personality to each Barbie based on how they would look. Then I would act out stories with them based on how I thought each would respond to different situations that I put them in. None of the other kids I knew played this way and this is why I absolutely *HATED* playing Barbies with anyone else. They didn't assign the right personalities to the Barbies. The weird thing was that at one point when going through this I thought, "This must be how God thinks when he creates us." Now, both of my parents were Worldly people only concerned with material gains. We didn't go to church. We didn't talk about God. I didn't watch television so aside from past life experiences there is absolutely no reason why I would have this thought. Further, this epiphany has stayed with me since then. I am not at a conscious adult level of spirituality where I can't get it! Misunderstood Past Life Memory The second memory I have is of telling my mother of something I remembered. Again, this was when I was around four or five. We were driving when I asked her, "Mom do you remember when Dad had all his friends and my uncles over and they were smoking cigars?" At the time my mom told me I was mis-remembering. That it never happened. Further, as far as I know I have never ever seen my father smoke a cigar. Not once. We didn't even have friends or family who smoked cigars so where did I get the memory from? Had she been the person she is today she would probably realize that this was a past life memory recall. She doesn't remember this event at all. I remember it because it caused me great distress as a child and it always puzzled me. How did I so clearly remember details about something that didn't happen? The truth of this didn't really become clear until I had a Past Life regression and that scene was vividly recalled...in my last reincarnation. I've covered that life in previous posts but that regression solved a mystery I never understood. Viewing Others From the Outside I remember pre-school. I was a strange child. I did not have friends. I could see dynamics between people. I could see the potential futures that held for them. Mind you, I was four or five. I didn't feel as though I was part of the group nor did I play like the other children. I just watched them as a curious outsider as though their interests and pursuits were totally alien to me. "Mother" From third to sixth grade I went to school in Bakersfield California. I always had a hard time connecting with people. Yet, for some reason about fifth and sixth grade I had become friends with many people. In fact, people came to me for advice. I was given the nick name "mother' because people would come to me for 'mothering advice' that they didn't dare ask their parents. I was very inexperienced at the time but somehow my advice was always true. Of my years in public education, I think that was my happiest. Teenage Experiences In my teenage years, after my Grandma Alta passed away, I felt very lost. I began searching for answers and I turned to the Bible. My parents, though not really religious tended towards Christian traditions. I sat down and read the bible from cover to cover. The book of Matthew has always been my favorite. Yet, it did not prepare me for what I would experience in life. Encountering A Spirit One day, this is before my Grandma Alta died, I went upstairs in what was a recreation room. I don't know what I was going to get from that room but I saw something float in through the window. It look liked a greasy cloud. I thought, perhaps, my mother was BBQ'ing as the grill was right below that window. This cloud however, moved as though it were sentient and it stopped right in front of me. I found myself frozen in place and I had the very distinct thought, that was not my own, "I know who you are and I will return." Terrified I ran downstairs forgetting whatever I had meant to retrieve from the room. I went straight to my mom and told her what had happened. Now she is pretty superstitious and it freaked her out. So naturally it terrified me. Throughout my teens I would listen to music at night because I was frightened of something. I don't know what it was or why but sometimes the only way I could sleep was with the radio on. The one thing I knew for certain after this experience was that other dimensions absolutely do exist. I threw myself into Christian knowledge but I didn't find any answers that could explain what I witnessed. My mother couldn't explain it and I've never come across anything to explain that experience. Experiencing Oneness At Will The second thing that occurred in my teens that really changed things was that my mom brought home a book called Journey of Souls. That was the first non-christian Spiritual book I had encountered. Right away it resonated with me. (Yet, it would be decades later that I realized that the earlier 'false memory' was actually a memory fragment from a past life. My mind had to really be retrained in order to conceive of that one!) The strange thing that happened though is that I asked my mom if she could feel the Oneness. I could, at any time, tap into that feeling. I was really puzzled that my mother could not feel that Oneness with all life. I felt really sad for her that she didn't and it was the first time I realized that *MOST* people can't experience that Oneness at will. Faerie's Oracle and Dreams During my teens was the first time that I encoutnered an Oracle card set as well. My mother bought me Brian Froud's Oracle Card Set simply because it was faeries. She thought it was a book and had no idea that it was an oracle card set. Being me, I read the book diligently, completely innocent as to what an oracle was and performed the meditation in the book. This was the very first time I ever meditated. I never dreamed that meditation didn't come some easily to other people. The meditation has the person envision that they have a tail that reaches deep into the earth (a grounding exercise) and "feel" there wings. I remember perceiving this huge energy field that was me...and my thought was whoa, I'm Huge! Back then I had no idea what I was feeling, now, twenty years later I realized I perceived my Aura (also called energy body). Back then it was unblocked and it was HUGE, it took up a good portion of the room and it felt fantastic to perceive it. This was also when I was given a Dream Dictionary Book. This book would become very fundamental. I started to work with my dreams, although not very diligently. I still had a very superstitious dogmatic point of view. That book is how I learned about the Edgar Cacye A.R.E. which I would turn to in my most recent Spiritual Awakening (2014). Strangely, that book doesn't appear to have ever existed and my copy that was on my bed stand for years disappeared around 2005. Thoughts On Childhood Memories I find it interesting that I appear to have chosen worldly parents on purpose. The one person who might have given me spiritual guidance and might have realized what all of this meant died the very year I was born (my Grandpa Douglas Q. McMasters- google that name and you get some interesting results! Even though he died in 1982 he left quite the impression!). I'm glad that I didn't have guidance or influence. Yes, It might have been easier if my mom had recognized it (now she would but she was in her teens when she had me so she was very young and very focused on day to day survival). In a way, I feel my experiences were more pure and I was allowed more freedom because I didn't have anyone there to explain of frame what I was experiencing for me. Since I didn't have that the experiences became a catalyst for me to become a Seeker. I must say, however, that my mother did have a bit of a negative influence. She, because of her father, had experienced some mystical or supernatural situations. She feared them, however, and she transferred that fear to me. Perhaps that was a good thing because I could have gone down a more destructive path without the fear and respect I developed for these experiences. Young Adult Years I had another past life memory recall at a pivotal moment in my life. At the time I was contemplating moving out with my boyfriend (which I did). This past life memory appears to have been a warning. This was in the year 2000. I've shared it in detail before...but basically in that life I chose material pursuits instead of doing my duty and searching spirtually. After experiencing seeing myself as that young Muslim man, and him seeing me in a mirror while dong some sort of drug in a hookah (I had no experience with either...I am straight edge against drugs and I had never seen a hookah besides Star Wars)...I was asked, "Do you want to do this again?" Well, I chose to do it again. My spiritual pursuits dropped off and I worked at UPS as a box handler. I was very in touch with my masculine side and I can say that I was probably channeling the energy from that past male life. I knew I was as strong and could out work any other man. For the first time in a long time I found a profound level of acceptance with the people I was working with and I started to develop some self-esteem. Terrifying Experience In 2005 Everything Fell Apart. Two years after I married my ex-husband he was diagnosed with testicular Cancer. Subsequently, he had his testicles removed and then his lymph nodes in is abdomen in a very radical surgery at USC called an RPLND, Here's what happened. At this point the ex-husband was diagnosed as Cancer Free and back at work. Night after night I was woken up by him talking in his sleep. I would try to get him to go back to sleep but he wouldn't. I would have full conversations with them but they were very distressing. At first, it appeared that what came through him was what I now call a Place Holder Soul. This entity even talked to itself, "This has never happened before. This shouldn't be happening." The Soul/Spirit explained that it was a place holder entity. The thing explained that it never actually incarnated and that it would just come to inhabit bodies for a temporary time as a suitable soul replacement was found. The entity explained that the soul I knew as my ex-husband had retreated from this life and was not interested in living anymore. He explained that soul was in a deep dark hole and wouldn't come out and wouldn't re-inhabit the body. I had never heard of any such thing before in my life! I was pretty freaked out but as this happened every night there was a natural sort of curiosity. I asked this place holder entity if I could speak to the soul of my ex-husband, the one I had married. He said yes. What came through was not coherent. All I can describe is just pure terror, inconsolable sorrow and I realized whatever that was could't be rationalized with. I didn't have the book Journey of Souls to consult as I had given it back to my mom to give it back to the original owner. I wish that I had because maybe then I would have been able to figure out what was going on. I hadn't thought of spiritual concepts in years because I was focused on what I now know was unhealthy material gain. Every night this terrifying event continued to happen. I told my ex-husband what was happening at night. I wanted to sleep on the couch but that upset him. I wasn't entirely sure he wasn't acting. That this wasn't some sort of psychological trick he was playing on me. He was in a terrible place mentally. His behavior had become moody and verbally abusive during the day. Sometimes he would grab my arm and give me this hateful look. He blamed me that he had survived his surgery. Even the people at work had noticed it. One night I was unable to sleep worried about what was going on and reading the bible trying to find answers. He woke up with the most evil laugh I've ever heard. He told me that the bible would protect me from him. He proceeded to talk with the worst vampire accent I've ever heard. Claimed he had known me in a past life and his personality was nothing like my ex-husbands. He asked if he should take this body so we could work alongside each other again. When I said no he chased me with an Ornamental Knife that I had on display. I locked myself in the bathroom and slept in the bath tub. The only frame of reference I had for this event was that of the Christian point of view of possession. I was terrified. The very next night I left him and I've never spent time with him sense. I had extreme anxiety attacks as a result of this experience and was diagnosed with PTSD. Meanwhile, he claimed not to remember any of it. On a mental and spiritual Level I was freaked out questioning my own sanity. No one at the time could help me with this or perceived how disturbed I was on a spiritual level. I couldn't even really put into words what I had experienced. In my limited point of view this sort of thing was impossible. Spiritual Seeking I was thrown back into my spiritual seeking by the events that had occurred. I wanted answers to what I experienced. There really weren't any out there. I went through a terrible depression. After all, I left the entire identity I had built for myself (mind is a builder after all) and was starting over. I didn't know who i was or what I was going to do. My psychologist, which I was not entirely honest with about what happened gave me the book When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. For the first time instead of trying to explain away or fight what had happened I looked at it as an opportunity to learn more about myself. As Pema said, "I leaned into the uncertainty." I began going to college online with the University of Phoenix. I experimented with different relationships with men...none of which really worked out. Yet, I was taking calculated chances I would have been frightened of taking in the past. I picked up Sakyong Mipmahm's book, "Turning the Mind Into An Ally." I began to meditate daily learning to quiet my mind. Again, I took to the practice much as a fish would to water. It never occurred to me that people struggled to adopt this practice. I started to build my personality all over again. This time it was a little bit more edgy. Instead of being a frightened little mouse I focused on becoming more like a character of mine named Talonea in the fantasy series that I had written non-stop. I worked to transform myself. I had terrible highs and terrible lows. I think I've already shared most of them but on a spiritual level I came to a certain level of acceptance. Acceptance of my flaws and my lows. I got sucked into the 2012 hysteria and I felt a desperate need to "Awaken" even though I didn't know what this meant. The response I received when trying to "Awaken" was that it was not time yet and that I had to wait for the others. This came from a person that had gray hair, roundish glasses and piercing blue eyes. He appeared to be one of my guides but I had no clue who he was at the time. I now think it was Edgar Cacye. At the time I did not search out the A.R.E. at all. That simply didn't occur to me. I thought if I was to "Awaken" I would pull the rest of them "up" with me. I had no context of where these thoughts came from or why I was so desperate about them at the time. Either way, I reached a point of Wholeness and Acceptance in these years. Although, I was still off balance and still experiencing a discord as a result I did reach a very positive place mentally. I will go more into this in my post on Valentines Day as to how I cleared space for the wonderful amazing husband I now have. Thoughts On Young Adult Years This was a tough learning curve. Even sharing this with you his hard for me because the time I spent with the ex-husband was such a spectacular failure. Even thinking about the experience with the Place-Holder Spirit and the uncertainty about if it was all an act...I feel queasy. I have come to look at that experience as my Soul prompting me in a very dramatic fashion to get out of a bad situation that wasn't serving me. I was put back on the spiritual track that I was meant to travel in this life and knocked out of the usual material pursuits. Strangely, here is a weird numerical cycle starts. I was with my ex for five years (2000-2005). I lived on my own for three years after that happened. Recent Years I met Ross in 2008. The years after meeting Ross I began to focus on material pursuits again. This time I was really successful. After two years of courtship we married in 2010. Ross and I had an agreement that who ever made the most money would be the bread winner and the other person would stay home when we had kids. There was a real high point in my life when I hit 30. I graduated from University of Phoenix with my third degree- A Masters in Business Administration. I had just started a promising new job. Life seemed Golden. Another five years cycle had come to completion...this was 2010. Second Wake Up Call The five year plan Ross insisted on when we were married went faster than anticipated as we achieved our goals within the first three years. In 2013 we were on track to buy our house. My focus switched from my career to having kids because I had lost the bet... That's when Everything Fell Apart...again. Most of you are aware of what happened in 2014. I won't go into the details of what happened here. What I will say is that after Lilith-Ann died I had nothing to lose spiritually. When the identity I built with Ross from the age of 28-33 fell apart I never bothered to build a new one. That aspect of me died with my daughter Lilith-Ann This blog started at that time. I began seeking Spiritually again. This caused some discomfort for Ross because he doesn't see value in having faith or a spiritual practice of any kind. He neither believes in God nor disbelieves in God. God, he says, will never be proven by the Scientific Method which is what he uses to judge "truth" in the material and so why bother? As I said though, I had nothing to lose at that point because of the mental state I was in. I didn't blame god but I certainly blamed my Higher Self that had planned this life. I didn't see people suffering the way I had suffered. I wanted some answers. What resulted was the profound experience of a Dark Night of the Soul and a Kundalini Awakening at the same time. I had no idea what I was going through at the time. I had never even heard of Kundalini. 2014 was a very confusing year. I received the message, near my birthday, I had one more year left. I had no idea what that meant. This message came through my lap top and even now it seems insane to say it. The thing was locked up and the voice I heard did not come from the video I had been listening to...I told Ross about it and my mom. I was very unbound and explored many faucets of spirituality that terrified me or I thought was too far 'out there' before...and I couldn't justify. There were a lot of elements that just really fell into place that allowed me to do all of this for the first time. I realize now that in 2015 a five year cycle was completed. Thank goodness it was because some of the most hellish years of my life. Currently This deserves it's own blog but the last three years (since 2014 when Lilith-Ann passed away) have been anything but easy. This cycle was steep and dizzying but very much worth it now that it is coming to an end. I'm not quite ready to put it all into a cohesive narrative because I need a little bit more emotional distance. I haven't completely understood the depth of what the heck I experienced. Again, I was in a situation blindly going through experiences not understanding what they meant. I had no mentor for direct guidance. I met my Higher Self, which was a crazy experience that gave me a lot of perspective. Spirit was very much trying to give me answers but I didn't have the Tools to understand them. I didn't really feel sure of myself or my experiences until August of last year, 2016. The profound sense of lack of trust of myself and my senses was the biggest struggle. I realize the three year cycle of soul seeking...similar to the three years I experienced from 2005-2008...is coming to completion. I expect it to be complete in April. That's just a feeling that I have and I know that I am starting to clear out for something new to come in...that's the impression I have of this year. Thoughts On My Early Thirties I am leaving out some mystical experiences that happened in the last three years. I've explored many of them in previous blogs. So I don't really feel it's necessary to rehash them. These last three years has consisted of a spurt of spiritual growth that was pretty fearless. My Spiritual Ideal I've experienced three spiritual Awakenings. One happened in my Teen when I was drawn to the Faery stuff, was given my first Oracle cars, first started interpreting my dreams, read Journey of Souls and fell in love with the Angels of Venice Song "Awake Inside a Dream." I would say this occurred from 1997-2000. My second Awakening was from 2005-2008. This is where I explored Buddhisim and meditation. I heard about the Annunaki and 2012. Yet, I knew I wasn't really suppose to Awaken Completely then because there were not enough people ready then. My Third Awakening has occurred from 2014-2017. In this one I went further then ever before and really started harmonizing all of the beliefs that I had encountered. I vowed to only work with my Higher Self. No other groups or entities because it was just so confusing. Many of you have joined me on this Journey in this blog. I'm finding more and more people openly sharing their experiences and so much information about all of this...I no longer feel alone. All of these periods were rough. In all of these time periods my mother and those around me were pretty sure I was loosing my mind. This, I suppose, is normal. This reminds me of a Native American who as given a tour of a psychiatric ward. He came away stating that's what the West does with their Shamans. Joseph Campbell stated, "The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims in delight." Perhaps there are real benefits of having a spiritual teacher through this "Awakening" process. Yet, I'm glad I didn't because I don't think I would have ever realized that final part. Many of you know the Bunny Dream. As I was walking blind through much of this experience I've learned that my Spiritual Ideal is what Edgar Cacye stated... "The purpose of the heart is to know yourself to be yourself and yet one with God." Life, as the Buddhists and Hindu explain, is a Dream. It's all Maya...illusion. To awaken within that dream and know that I am myself and yet one with God...was my Ideal in Spirit...now it's kind of a blank slate? I guess there really isn't any higher spiritual purpose and I can't explain to you why but it really appears to me that no one is talking about what to do when you reach this point! Let alone helping people see the reason why this should be an Ideal at all. Conclusion I have seen, writing this, a five year and three year pattern. This is fascinating to me on many levels. Five is my personal number. This number has popped up sychronistically all over the place and I suppose I will cover this in a future blog. I've already covered three. There is even a 7 year cycle in there..after every five years of completion there is a two year period of great struggle. I'm coming to the end of a three year spiritual growth spurt. I have two more years to this period in my life. That's a bit fascinating. I'm going to have to sit and meditate on that one. Especially given that I realized that my goal of having children this year is not going to happen...God's timing appears to be very specific in my life. Being pregnant in 2008 would be right in alignment with that five year cycle...I'll probably give birth in 2019 and in 2020 the baby would be here right on time for a new cycle of lessons. Wowza! Based on what I've experienced before it is exactly where I was in my life right before meeting Ross...I'm clearing out the old to make way for something new. Thank you for going on the journey of this post for me. I knew writing this would give me perspective. This has been an all day endeavor and a very uncomfortable one. Much of what I have related here has caused me to question my sanity. That is, because of how we treat people we see as psychologically different in our society. The western idea of a mechanical universe has no place for mystics. Sharing these events honestly has been purifying and terrifying at the same time. Realizing that I'm a mystic has been no easy task! Yet, my soul had a very specific ideal for this time period...because it really wants to be of service during this time. I realize I've had helpers and been supported on many different levels...it is very entertaining and there is so much more I've discovered that I wish to discuss. For now let me close with a final quote from Edgar Cacye that I didn't even knew existed but puts this time period in perspective: "...for changes are coming, this may be sure-- an evolution or revolution in the ideas of religious thought..." There is more of this quote that you can see in if you follow the link below. I don't want to go into that here because it will detract from how I wanted to end this blog and deserves another blog/meditation of it's own. (http://www.miraclesandinspiration.com/edgarcayce_quotes.html)
Today I'm posting a book review as it ties into what I've been recently experiencing in life. I also have a very full day of friends visiting and adventures to go on. I wrote this review a bit ago but it really helped open my eyes to dimensions of dream interpretation that I didn't possess.
I picked up this book after watching several of Kevin Todeschi's lectures on dreams. Kevin works for Edgar Cacye's A.R.E. which has been very important to me since I was a young girl. My grandfather had a book on Edgar Cacye that I read when I first began 'seeking' in my early teens. I have been working with my dreams for about twenty years starting when I was a teenager. I've picked up a lot of wisdom about myself from them and from realizing what my own personal attached meaning to symbols are but this book offered a wealth of information. I am currently a member of the A.R.E. Dream Interpretation page on Facebook. Although, I'm kind of picky about what dreams I interpret. The Book While some of the material is similar to the talks I've seen him give on YouTube. The techniques, for example, for dreams are not readily apparent were by far the most useful to me. As well as a in depth view of how people are different aspects of yourself in a dream and that it is, primarily, about you. There are numerous sample dreams at the end of each chapter that you can practice interpreting and the answers are at the back of the book! Kevin focuses on the story of the dream and how it reflects what the individual is currently going through. He uses a number of excellent examples from his experience of interpreting dreams for the A.R.E. (I submitted a dream to them a while back and Kevin was the one who replied!). He explains how he uncovered the meaning of the dreams with the people who came to him for help. He touches on people thinking that catastrophe dreams might apply to the entire world and how a small percentage of them do. As I am currently a part of the A.R.E's dream interpretation page I've seen people make some of the mistakes that he highlights. I also feel more confident about asking other people what they feel a symbol represents to them...especially other people in their dreams. I have always known that other character's in a dream represented an aspect of a dreamer but Kevin directs people on how to frame that question. What are the first two words you would use to describe this person? The same thing can go for animals as well. I had a dream about a dog I had named Lady. I couldn't figure out why this dog came up in a dream as she's been dead for many years. I realized she represented a mothering figure for me because I had seen her give birth and nurse her puppies. Included in the books are methods to tap into the same subconscious that provides the meaning in dreams. Again, Kevin gives multiple examples of how it can work. The emphasis on self-knowledge, self-inspection and self-guidance is invaluable. The information in this book would be just as applicable to therapists and psychologists. There are no religious over tones or "new age" feel to this book aside from the mentions of Edgar Cacye. Todeschi wisely keeps the offering humble without tying it to a particular belief system. Instead, he simply explains how it can be a useful tool of introspection for anyone. I highly recommend Kevin Todeschi's book Dream Interpretation (and more) Made Easy! for anyone who is interested in working with their dreams for personal insight. You can buy it on Amazon new and used. To get a good idea of what the book is like you can watch the attached video that I have posted above. If the video isn't working int he blog follow this link In You Tube or search Dream Interpretation with Kevin Todeschi. https://youtu.be/ikCdrzVtxNQ
Current Events
The reason I'm posting this now is because it speaks to the moment in human history. I believe that most of what is 'energetically' stuck will be worked through by April. Yet, I see a lot of people suffering because of their attachment to the ideas and beliefs that our country is reviewing and synthesizing at this moment. I realized that to me the greatest virtue in the United States is for everyone to share their truth. When everyone is brought out of the shadows and allowed to share their truth we become stronger as a nation. Too long in our learning institutions, in our businesses and in our government have people been silenced and pushed into the shadows. Their views might not be popular with the more vocal people but they resonate with a part of the population that has remained Silent. Group think is a killer. Corporations know this because of their research on the topic. They try to nurture diversity in an environment where everyone is required the same attire and look the same while being treated as robots or just a number. The irony of this is evident but the truth of it is so obvious...when everyone is of one mind there is no creativity. Usually, the person with the biggest ego ends up running the show. I could and probably will do an entire blog on this subject. Invoking emotion is the surest way to inspire Group Think. What I see in the United States right now is a huge emotional reaction as peoples paradigms and beliefs are challenged. Such are usually violent if a person hasn't been taught how to work with their emotions. Dissonance when someone holds a particular belief can be very painful. Yet, the United States was founded on diverse opinions and beliefs. We have always reinvented ourselves by nurturing these diverse ideas, debating them and being reborn much as the Phoenix. The Founding Fathers were definitely not of one mind. Buddhism and Detachment I never realized how important detachment is or how it played a role in Buddhisim until I was listening to Scott Mandelker discuss Sotappana. Sotapanna is stream entry. I had always thought of Buddhisim in the way Sakyong Mipham and Pema Chodron discuss it with their Shambala Institute. They focus more on realizing that this world is Maya, illusion, and that being attached to the illusion can bring pain. They also teach that the mind has to be trained. Yet, when Mandelker was talking about this subject he told a story. A friend of his wanted to release carnal desires. He went to the extreme of Buddhist Monks where they go and look at dead bodies to release any attachment to desiring the physical body. Then Mandelker's friend wondered why he wasn't able to 'perform' in a relationship to his girlfriend. There is a psychological issue called Dis-associative Disorder. I do want to express here that extreme detachment is not healthy. Anything of course, that is taken to an extreme is going to be bad and unhealthy. The idea of detachment being the 'gift' of Buddhsim came up in a lecture by Peter Woodbury which I will attach at the end. Experiencing Detachment First let me explain that Detachment is not repression. In Buddhism they allow the feeling to flow through them and then release them. At first I didn't understand what was happening. Why wasn't I having the usual overwhelming emotional responses to situations? Heck, why wasn't I having the usual emotional response to my body not behaving properly. I was on my way to the hospital in an ambulance. There was a bit of worry...but mostly there was calm. This was not my usual reaction. Even as the technician tried three times to start an IV at the hospital blowing out a vein and literally digging around with the needle in the top of my right hand...I felt the pain but it was distant. This was not a normal response to a crisis! I appeared to be the Observer within my own mind. I could sense the emotions, the uncertainty, and the experience that I was having...but I wasn't attached to them. I accepted the emotions and the pain as messengers, which they are but I wasn't reactive. I silenced my inner narrator a long time before...my life was not a story that needed to be explained or entirely understood. Just a series of experiences that i do not try to quantify, justify or analyze. Yet, this was different. Instead, in this space created between the event and the emotional reaction was a detached Observer...I was able to synthesize all of the data and it wasn't based on my emotions. I realized there was a detachment from what was normally an emotional event. This state of being became a reality for me every moment of every day. I knew something changed but I wasn't really sure what had changed. Then I began to come across more information on detachment. I realized I was experiencing my emotions but I wasn't reacting to them. Without that knee jerk reaction I was able to retain a sense of clarity of the situation. As a result I was able to come up with better solutions and responses...and I wasn't drawn into the old emotional patterns. The sense of freedom was immense. How Did It Happen? I don't know if this spontaneous detachment has to do with my meditation practices. Most of these I have created naturally on my own. I'm not a part of any school nor have I have ever attended classes on the subject. For years, I practiced the Shamabla teaching of meditation that Sakyong Mipham provides to train the mind in his book. This requires focusing on the breath and releasing thoughts that come up. This is how my 'inner narrator' ceased to exist. Now, I mostly practice what I call the Light of Heaven meditation (which is similar to a Dao meditation. I discovered that today while watching a lecture on Dissolving Methods by Don Myers: https://youtu.be/6nlOXcOLka0 ) every day. This meditation is focused on releasing emotions and energy blockages that I can sense with my sore muscles...sometimes images or thoughts will come to me in the process and I use the Shambala teaching of 'letting them go.' Other then that I do my thinking meditations which I usually share in blogs. My goal was never to achieve detachment it just happened naturally on it's own. Detachment Allows Perspective I have discovered that not having an emotional reaction to events (especially politically) is extremely beneficial. This has given me the perspective to see how many people who are ruled by their emotions experience so much Suffering. The idea in Star Wars...Fear leads to Hatred, Hatred leads to Suffering... is very true. The sad thing is they really don't teach how not to fall into that trap. The Jedi appear to repress emotions which isn't really the way at all. Strangely, in this Detachment I found the deepest well spring of love. I don't see people's emotional reactions to events as anything more than a form of suffering. When I realize they are suffering I feel a great deal of compassion for them no matter what 'side' of the issue they are on. I also know these people are choosing, often on a subconscious level, to suffer. I will enter into that meditation which will reveal another chunk of what I realized in the next blog. Computer Metaphor The emotions were never supposed to control us with knee-jerk reactions. When we let the Mind (ego), a part of which Emotions are, control us it becomes a habit we are not aware of...and then we are in chaos and we suffer. Too long we have thought in the Mechanical Universe point of view that we are our Minds. Most of us don't even bother studying the mind or learning how to use it even though there are thousands years of information on the topic.. When we let go of this concept it suddenly becomes clear... The best way to describe this is if our Mind is a Computer and Emotions are Programs. When we detach from those emotions and see the Mind as a Tool of the Soul...we gain a different perspective. We are no longer victims of learned emotional reactions (programs). We must learn how to use a computer in order to actually be able to benefit from it. Meditation is learning how to use the mind. Emotions are tools...they are programs alerting us to a new email, a new YouTube video, or a new article of interest. They are little messengers that act as a sensor. The mind itself is a tool...it is 'similar' to a computer interface through which the Soul works that helps it "view" the world. We can choose the filters and the hue of the world by working with our mind...just as we do when we choose a background image for our computer screen. Yes, really, we absolutely have control our minds, the filters and the programs that we experience. The data we input into is is our beliefs...than it filters everything based on that to reinforce whatever belief we have accepted. Psychology has proven this by studying the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. Sense we do not think we are in control of our mind...that it controls us...it isn't functioning properly. We let the emotions, the programs, do what they want without our influence. Pandora is popping on and off for seemingly no reason with random songs distracting us, our word processor shows up for a while but we don't have very long to type out a thought when...ooh an email has come in... How can we make any sense out of that chaos? All of these programs are playing at once and it's just a cacophony. Often the soul is stuck de-fragmenting the interface during dream time (which is why people become psychotic when they don't dream/sleep). Meditation helps us to gain an understanding of the programs. We learn to turn them off and on at will or leave them off entirely. The Emotions when they pop up draw our attention to something new but we choose if we react to the latest video on YouTube or continue to focus on the drawing we are creating in Paint. This is just a really small metaphor for it all but it's easy for anyone to understand. Detachment is a way to start interfacing with the mind in a way where we start using it for the function it was created. Conclusions There is a subtle dance between the Mind and our Soul...just there is a subtle dance between our Soul and the Divine. The mind is just an interface for the Soul...when we stop identifying ourselves with the Mind (computer) we can become aware of the Observer (person using the computer)...or Soul. When we start exploring the Soul that was created in the image of the Creator (Active forces of the universe)...we can start exploring God and when we explore God we eventually discover Source....it is an inward journey through self. Our mind is always connected. We just need to stop looking with the Mind for the other parts of our Being because it's not the mind that is connected but our Soul. We will never learn the answers to our questions if we keep looking outside for answers...or looking for outsiders to explain ourselves to us. Very few people even bother finding out who they are...let alone what Beliefs they've fed their mind. In my next blog I will cover the concept of the folly in trying to connect our minds into one unit. I guess, in a way, it will be another meditation on Group Think and Good Versus Evil but from a much different perspective. In the following videos there will be a girl named Anita explains her method for detachment...she mostly talks about being attached to other people. Yet you can be attached to anything...cigarettes, chocolate...or television. She shares her method. After that is a lecture by Peter Woodbury that mentions Buddhism and detachment so you can fit this into a different perspective. I want to note a few things prior to getting into this one.
1. Normally I publish my posts on Monday and Friday. Today I'm breaking that trend because I think this message is timely and I'm actually excited about sharing this interpretation as I've already shared the dream. 2. I will be writing a blog about why Ross, even though he is a skeptic, is the best partner for me. I want to explain how he came into my life as well for those who can't seem to make room for the right person to come into their life. I'm retooling a blog I wrote on the subject already but I will post that blog Valentines week. 3. The synchronicity of both Wolverine and Beauty and the Beast coming out this year and being associated with a Grand Cycle of Time is a bit bigger than I first thought. The Hopi believe that the latest "World" is that of the Animal. In both movies...the characters have the choice to give into their Animal natures...or choose compassion. The next World of the Hopi is that of the Human. * * * I've decided that I want to share a dream and the interpretation that I had because I realized how powerful the message was and that it might have some value to others. As far as I'm concerned all dreams are personal dreams, often times it is our mind crunching data but sometimes I do believe messages from Spirit that can apply to everyone can come through. The perspective that this dream provides about current affairs is what really matters. What I do is not special. Receiving messages from Spirit is something anyone can do and we all dream. All of us have access to the most perfect consul and font for answers every night (or in meditation). Yet, I realize not all people will allow this in their life unless they see someone else model the behavior. So, hopefully by sharing this with you it will move you to start seeking your own answers within. I didn't realize that this Message from Spirit might be valuable to anyone else until I told my mom about it. This has been a strange phenomenon that I have had recently where I don't really comprehend the depth or meaning of a dream until I share it with someone. The Dream A friend of mine from work, Mikey (who I consider to be extremely left brained and logical) had loaned me a DVD. If I answered the question on the DVD correctly I would be granted super powers. As I gave it back to him I said no, I had not been successful. We then went inside to try to solve the puzzle as a group. As we watched we had to count the people wearing red shirts. That was the question that we needed to answer in order to get 'super powers.' We watched the DVD on a small fuzzy tube television. At one point where the video turned into black and white video footage of two football teams. Mikey pointed at the screen enthusiastically, "Here's the trick. This team wears red jerseys so everyone on this team counts as wearing a red shirt." He tapped the screen every time there was a player for that team reaching a mind boggling number very quickly. I retreated from the room. I don't like math games because I have dyslexia and it messes with my ability to track anything but prime numbers (1-10). I was not happy that this "trick" was being employed. What happened if a person was color blind and was trying to answer this puzzle? Then it hit me, I knew the answer in the dream (As I was watching myself from a third person perspective I did not 'know the answer'). I told everyone in the room I knew the answer. Bill Styhe, the actor was there (to me he represents self-assured authority) and he asked, "Are you sure because I think I have a really good guess." I said, "No, I know the answer!" I raced outside the house. By the front door I encountered a Brown rabbit. I told that rabbit for some reason, "I know the answer?" "Do you?" the rabbit asked doing the Pepe the Frog gesture with his hand upon his chin. "Yes, it's One!" "No, choose again-" The bunny replied. I picked the rabbit up refusing to back down. "No, think about," I told this talking rabbit as though this was perfectly normal thing to do, "we are all one at the source. Every person on that DVD is one at the Source level. The answer is One!" The Rabbit smiled and out of the corner of my eye I saw there was a gray jack rabbit that had been hopping clockwise around a white stationary rabbit. The gray rabbit came to an abrupt halt as I said this and looked at me with the most incredible powerful expression. The white rabbit continued to sleep (I reviewed my journal of this and mistakenly thought it had woken up). I realized that I, holding the brown rabbit, the gray rabbit and the white rabbit were all in perfect alignment. I had answered the question at the exact right moment to allow for this alignment. I realized this indicated that I had answered correctly, I was very excited and the dream ended. Dream Interpretation 1. The DVD represents the story that we see in the world. Most of what was on the DVD were news stories or narratives. Interestingly, we could experience it more than once (replaying the DVD) until we came up with the answer. The narratives and stories were a distraction from the main purpose of the DVD. 2. The Riddle: I believe that God/Spirit/Source (whatever you want to call a higher power) is always testing us...have we learned our lessons? 3. Super Powers: I imagine the reason why you would want a super power is because you feel powerless and to help other people. That didn't seem to be what aroused my curiosity however. I like meditating on riddles and puzzles. 4. Mikey, to me, represents someone who is very left-brained. This is an aspect of me, not the actual person that I know...and what this was saying is that I was looking at the issues in the world from a logical linear perspective (which doesn't apply to emotions). 5. Red Shirts: Immediately when writing this I thought of two things...First, the Red Shirts in Star Trek... the joke is that extra red shirts on away missions usually die. The second was Republicans (we associate them with red while democrats are blue). So, I knew this partly regarded the emotional struggle we see in politics going on in the nation right now. 6. The black and white "trick." Right now a lot of people are trying to see the politics in this country as "black and white" or "Good Vs Evil." (I had already learned this lesson). I realized the division into teams was an illusion...a distraction. Too often we over think about things and attach meaning to events that, quite honestly, aren't there. 7. Bill Styhe, as I said before, reminds me of assured authority. You know that one person who seems to think they very much know the answer to everything. He asks me if I'm sure about my answer as though doubting my ability to discern the answer. He only has a guess but he thinks that his guess is more valuable than my answer. This is the part of me that tends to give my personal power over to a strong male authority. 8. Bunnies- My first association is to Easter and Resurrection. My second association when meditating on the subject caused me to refer back to Laird Scranton's book "The Cosmological Origins of Myth and Symbol." A feature of the bunnies that I focused on was the bunnies whiskers twitching for some reason...and on page 48 of the book I read this, "An example of his kind of adopted symbolism is illustrated by the symbolic assignment of the concept of VIBRATION to the image of a hare or rabbit." So in my mind, it is clear, Rabbits represent vibration. 9. The Significance of Three: There is a huge significance to this number. To me this represents the Holy Trinity (in Hindu it would be Brahman, Atman, and the Individual ) and the Spirit, Mind, Body complex of humanity. To me these are reflections of each other. On a different scale it can also me my Mind, Spirit and Source. On a different scale it represents the Higher Self, The Inner Child and the Ego. 10. The Brown Bunny. This one represents my earthly body self...I'd say this is actually the Mind or Ego. This is the one that really doesn't see the bigger picture. This one tried to tell me I was wrong. Maybe, because of it's limited vision perhaps it didn't really understand or comprehend my answer. Yet, it did that smug Pepe the Frog look...so it also has an element of the God Kek (which I don't fully understand). 11. The Gray Bunny: This one would be the Soul level...it stopped what it was doing and looked deeply at me with a sort of deep penetrating Wisdom I've only seen one other place- A past life regression where I saw Jesus. When it stopped Time seemed to stop (it was jumping in a clockwise motion). To me Jack Rabbits are tough. They are the "Doers" in the world of Bunnies. On the level of the Buddha this would be Atman. On the level of psychology this would be The Higher Self. At the same time this is the Soul level. 8. The White Bunny- Source. This would be the Brahman level. 9. The three being in alignment. By realizing that we are all One at the level of Source (represented by the White Bunny) I caused the Gray Bunny to stop hopping around the White Bunny. The three in Alignment suggests that Mind, Soul and Source will's are in alignment. Also, on a level that I didn't realize until today with the bunnies representing Vibration it means that I am in alignment with my "true" vibration (I'll attach a video by Bashar to kind of clue you in on what that might mean). What Does It Mean? The general message is that the apparent division that we see...the battle between Good and Evil that so many focus on in our dimension is an illusion. At the Source of all life there is not Good or Evil. There is no dressing up and playing Jedi vs Empire. All of this is just an illusion...when we are looking at these details we are seeing the trees but not the forest. This apparent division that we are seeing offers a tremendous opportunity to us consciously. Will we give into our Fear...which will lead to Hate and Suffering? Yet, what is compassion? How do we find compassion when we are feeling threatened? The only way is to see the bigger picture, the deeper meaning and purpose of it all. To realize the division and the suffering is all an illusion and this life is the story we are telling ourselves. Too often we go to the news allowing them to narrate and make sense of it all for us...but do you really want the world they are trying to sell you on? A world based on fear, lack and competition? Can't we tell a better story? The Light Side and the Dark Side is an illusion. We are all shades of Gray...To me Black and White television shows always appeared as shades of gray. Trying to sort out what color is what in such a scenario is pointless and useless...it doesn't matter. That's why the answer occurred to me in the dream. At the end of the day all of us are One. Solving the Riddle I was able to see the bigger picture, as it were, and realize that what this is all about is learning that we are all One. The process involves inner work and integration but the work is simple if you are willing to be honest with yourself. This deep soul searching should lead to your ability to love yourself (not that way sicko!). Okay I made you laugh...but really, before anyone can truly love you...you must learn to love yourself...that is the very first step on the path. By realizing that we are all One, by realizing that all of those people in the DVD are One Being Divided battling themselves...I loved all of them. With that realization my Mind, Soul, and Source (or those other three which represent the same concept) came into alignment...my Will was the Same as Source...I had tuned into the vibration of my Higher Self (also sometimes called Christ Consciousnesses) and Source. Within that space there is only love and infinite compassion. Deeper Meditations on the Dream You can stop here if you want...we are about to go into the depths... All of the questions and answers I've ever had are in this dream. Right there, if you have the eyes to see them. So simple and so obvious but so hard to accept at the core of our being after the multitude of games of fear and rejection that we play on Earth (In Alchemy Earth = Fear....the very name of our planet is FEAR!). One Being divided...of course Source does not want us to fight one another. As we find peace among ourselves so too does Source. What we are playing out here is a very very small part of the Cosmos (remember my Mountain Top dream) so it's not that all of Source is this way. Just our tiny little corner of the Multiverse. What we see reflected in the world around us is what is also on the inside. Are we not owning some aspect of ourselves? Are we letting Fear rule us? What we reject in others is what we reject in ourselves. If someone calls you a liberal cry baby....they are denying their inner emotional weakness. If someone is rejecting you because you voted for Trump...it's because they fear 'Change, Chaos, Uncertainty.' Anyone who's had their life torn out from beneath them knows that sometimes we must be reduced to ashes (metaphorically!) before new life can burst forth. The rotten fruit fallen from the tree becomes compost and then feeds the tree so that it may bring forth new buds. This is a natural cycle of "death" (change) and "rebirth" (also change). We just choose how dramatic it will be by how much we resist it and try to hold on to the old. Surprising to some, new is often better...because it represents growth. This is a fundamental part of the experience we agreed to when we came to Earth and to try to disagree with it is to Argue and Deny/Reject Source. Why fight Source, why try to swim against the tide...instead of learning how to swim with it? We come to Earth to learn a multitude of lessons. One of those lessons is to be Individuals our own individuality while simultaneously realizing we are One with Source. We are both. We come from a collective consciousness in Spirit...we don't need to create it on Earth (this is why Group Think is so terrible). What other way can Source create companions for itself? Life As A Dream Alright, and deeper we go... Think of life as a dream. Other people in Dreams are Aspects of ourselves. They are whatever we associate with them. Mikey has his own identity in the waking world. I can't even begin to know what is going on within his mind. By identifying what he means to me in the dream (left brain thinking) I learn about myself. This, on a much larger scale is what God/Source is doing...that's why we were created more or less. WE are God, we are Aspects of God, but we are individual flavors of God. He assigned us different gifts and abilities. He experiences through us...and solve it's own paradoxes through us (please note, that there are three "levels" to God conscious in my paradigm/that I can perceive...the part that we are, the part that is active (learning/Christ Consciousness), and the part that is latent and all knowing. To borrow from Colette Baron Reid think of it as a Cell...there is the Cell Wall (Brahman/Source), Cytoplasm (Active Part/Christ Consciousness/Atman) and us (nucleus)). This is why life can be a metaphor and experience at once (why the Bible can be literally true and symbolic). The flow between these three elements, that are all one but know themselves to also be separate, is fluid. We are the dream and we are the dreamer. At the basic part of this is an encoded aspect which is why 3 pops up so much and 7 pops up so much. This is a very interesting dynamic, delicate and gentle Partnership with Spirit (Christ Consciousness) and Source...a sort of intuitive trusting dance. We can learn to swim with the tides of the Source and the Flow of the Higher Self....and suffering is alleviated. I hope this helps you or at the very least causes you to think. I had two videos attached to this post but I see the one by Bashar has been taken down (happens every time I post one that's not from Bashar communications). If you look into Bashar's work he talks about how by following your highest passion you will tune in with your higher self and find 'a reality that is more alignment' with your true nature. The other video was Peter Woodbury of the A.R.E. but I also found a quote in John Van Auken's book (he also belongs to Edgar Cacye's A.R.E) and in it he says, "To know yourself as yourself and yet one with God." That's the epiphany I have suddenly reached in my life. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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