Emotional intelligence has become a big thing in the upper echelons of corporations. Yet, what is emotional quotient and what is it's value?
If you look the term up an emotional quotient is the product of an evaluation of emotional intelligence usually given in an exam. Talk about a test for which you can't study or prepare! At least with an Intelligence Quotient you have a little training! Yet, it's been show that those who are emotionally intelligent are more likely to make larger incomes. They are more likely to become entrepreneurs and later on CEO's. What do they have that the rest of us don't? In our current society it's the people leading corporations that are looking for an edge on their competitors who are doing research into this topic. Yet, it appears to be mysterious. Why do some people just seem to 'follow their guts' or 'follow their hunches' and succeed? Yet, there are teachers who talk about emotions and the Mind. Becoming the master of our own emotional tides is something that has been taught for centuries by Hindu and Buddhist monks and even Yeshua (Jesus). Being in tune with our emotions is completely and utterly necessary for being healthy and happy human being. All of us have a responsibility to improve our emotional intelligence. Fluidic Emotions In dreams our emotions (often associated with the subconscious) are usually represented by the ocean or a body of water. How we interact with that body of water is very important. This was demonstrated to me in one of my Mountain Top dreams which I shared in a previous post here: (http://bridgetkorns.weebly.com/blog/3-dreams). I offered an interpretation at the time but that concept has continued to bloom within my mind over the course of the last nine months. In fact, I'd say that this was a point in my life where I made a personal decision and it took me on a path of spiritual development I never imagined. (I will cover that in my next blog). In the Mountain Top dream I saw two courses of action...on one side was a thrashing ocean that was destroying everything along the shore. On the other was a river passing through a canyon peacefully. People from all nations were gathered there peacefully watching. Heaven and earth was united as the Sun set over the river setting it aflame with golden light flanked by the canyon...the earthly reflecting the heavenly. A short interpretation of this dream is that the Ocean represents the people who are letting their emotions control them. The ocean has a mind of its own destroying everything. On the other side, the water is more peaceful, naturally directed and reflecting the divine light of spirit (the setting sun). Psychology And Emotions While I put a little bit of a spiritual spin on this I have traced this type of instruction on emotions through most religions. Although one could make the argument and come at this subject from a primarily basic psychology point of view. Yet, although it's more progressive then the rest of the scientific fields Psychology hasn't quite come to an understanding of emotions. Most psychologists are still working off of the Mechanical Universe perspective. Society currently believes that emotions can be treated with medicine much like a common virus because they arise from misfiring chemicals in the brain. The field of neuroscience completely and utterly ignores the realm of psychology for explanations. Just look at this article that explains the reasons people have OCD is because a part of their brain is 'dysfunctioning' as though it's a computer hard drive in need of repair without any regard for the idea that the reason people hold onto their fear has to do with conditioning (how their parents taught them): http://www.sciencealert.com/this-could-explain-why-people-with-ocd-can-t-overcome-their-urges. Scientists legitimatize the purpose of Emotions. They believe that emotions are primitive responses to stimulus that are completely unnecessary in today's world. The cave man learned fear because he was hunted by predators leaving us to deal with the wreckage his existence left behind. Emotions are seen as the enemies of the common man. After all, it's so much more logical to do our best to be a fleshy robot. We even see the idea of emotions as being inferior in movies. The Vulcan's in Star Trek, for example, learn to repress all of their emotions in favor of logic. The suggestion is that Vulcans are superior to humans. (I will explore the different pop culture exploration of emotions in a future blog). I don't agree with point of view that emotions are inferior left overs of the cave man or that behaving like an emotionless robot is the next logical step in humanity's evolution. The reason the logic is flawed is because it out a very possible component. This component has been talked about for years in many religions in a variety of ways. Yet, because religion has fallen from favor because it was used as a control mechanism for monarchies and governments for hundreds of years...science refuses to consider the possibility of a soul or the wealth of material those pursuing spirituality upon those paths have gathered. If humankind ever dares to imagine that the subconscious is the Soul and that consciousness arises from the soul...perhaps they will start to understand emotions. For now, with the idea that everything is a by-product of a mechanical process we can't expect this to happen. Ways To Work With Emotion In my metaphysical wondering's I discovered this chart. I have no idea the source because I just wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper and taped it to my desk approximately three years ago. The belief is that most disease arises from emotions. Anger = Weakens the Liver Grief = Weakens the Lungs Worry = Weakens the Stomach Stress = Weakens Heart and Brain Fear = Weakens the Kidney The idea that sickness can arise from an emotional state of being, that in effect we create it our-self, is something that the book The Secret suggested. I experienced disannonce with this suggestion. Like most people I considered disease something that happened to us or that was inflicted upon us by God for some failure on our behalf. The problem with what The Secret had to say was that it was an incomplete teaching and as such created a great deal of grief for those who might realize the truth but not know what to do about it. Here, then is a little insight on how to work with these emotions so that when they become out of whack they don't harm the body. There are three ways of dealing with emotions...although, I'll say that only one is truly conscious. Knowing how to work with our emotions is vital information for anyone who wants to become more peaceful. Yet, I would say, do not expect it to happen over night. Recognize where you my fall in the next three groups. You might see that you have a little bit in common with both A and B. These are just gross generalizations that I am providing so there is no hard or fast judgement's that can be passed I could count myself among all of three states at some point of being in my life. Some of us do fluctuate, mostly between the first and second grouping. The only people I've heard talking about the third idea are Gurus from India (of all things), Daryl Anka when channeling Bashar and Buddhists. Letting Emotions Control You This is a level a lot of people operate on...this is the churning uncontrolled sea. These are the toxic people walking around our world. Emotionally, they are flooded all of the time. People that exist on this level think that their emotions control them. They fly off the handle when someone cuts them off in traffic. When they are sad they state it's because of a problem with their deficient brain. They claim they are angry because they are PMS'ing...but they are angry most of the time. They stay in their emotional states of being for long periods of time. Unwilling to let go of the emotion or discharge that emotional state of being. Some might find a temporary reprieve in expressing themselves artistically or through exercise. More than likely they won't stick to the discipline for long as it will require more work to burn of the excess energy. In this way of living life and dealing with emotions there are very high highs and very low lows. This is not a peaceful or predictable state of being. When in this state it's very easy to fly off the handle emotionally for even the slightest reason or even no reason at all. There is an extreme sensitivity. When in this emotional state we stumble from one emotional roller coaster to another. We feel out of control so we want to hear about the bad things that are happening to other people so we feel better about ourselves. We try to exert control over others and the situations we are in...trying to make the outside better in an attempt to fix our chaotic inner world. There is a lot of suffering when in this emotional state. The one good thing about this state of being is that at least the emotions get expressed in some form. This allows the person to discharge them so that they don't get built up in the body to cause a physical disease On the other hand, when operating from this state of being a person is more likely to be diagnosed with a mental disorder. For example, a person who is flooded with anger (anger management problems) might slam the steering wheel so hard they injure themselves. Often, people who are at the mercy of their emotional state beat themselves up...sometimes this can result in anxiety or insomnia. Often times, the people who allow their emotions to control them act in irrational ways. This can cause poor relationships and the person feels very isolated...which only increases their dysfunction. Their erratic and sometimes violent behavior pushes other people away. They also define themselves by their emotions. I'm depressed. I'm moody. I'm emotionally sensitive. I have anger management problems. Repressing Emotions This is a stagnant sea that unpredictably becomes stormy. Stagnant waters, by the way, cannot support sea life. This, in some ways can be worse than those who are controlled by their emotions. These are people who want to behave like Robots. We see rampant Repression of Emotions throughout Western Society in many forms. This is why people try to control or lessen their emotions with booze, drugs and any behavior allows them to escape how they feel. These are the people who develop eating disorders an attempt to control their body...because the rest of their life feels as though it's out of control or as an attempt to 'feel good' when in a bad mood. The goal, for these people, is not to feel unpleasant emotion. Religion has been, for the most part, one of the driving factors in repression. Somewhere, the memo regarding detachment became confused. Instead of really working with emotions people decided to go against the Natural Order and pretend they didn't have drives or urges. In some weird way, they thought detaching from their humanity would make them more "pure" or "godly". This is why really religious people have a major problem with the natural sexual urges. Most nuns, monks, priests, etc. usually take on vows where they give up anything that might 'be of this world.' This association has inevitably become part and parcel of being 'holy.' Yet, by abstaining from all temptation of 'worldly influence' they completely remove themselves from the world and create a false reality rarely helping others who are not in their small cloistered realm. How that's supposed to be a servant to humanity I can't comprehend (although, some good has come out of it). Even without religion we see the Athiests discounting emotion. They believe in the idea of Transhumanisim. The advocates of Transhumanisim has taken to disowning the natural human experience to a entirely new level. Believing in the Mechanical Universe idea they that the only way for humans to evolve is to leverage technology with their biology...basically they want us to become Star Trek's Borg. The less human without the emotion the better. While people can be very functional in this state of being...Repression is not truly working with the emotion. In fact, they are the ones most likely to build up the energy in a part of their body and become sick. They turn the energy inward and use it against themselves. After all, we are taught not to take our emotional angst out on other people. Emotions cannot be banished or ignored as though they don't exist. In fact, when they are ignored they come out in distorted ways. This is the case in domestic abuse where the abuser goes into a state of repression, lets it build up, and then explodes on a repeated cycle of behavior with their victim. Emotions are what makes us human and denying them is an attempt to deny what we are on the most basic level. When we try to fight them they come back even bigger and scarier. When we ignore our emotions on a daily basis they come on more urgently. Bottling up emotions only leads to big explosions...it's similar to filling a balloon with helium until it explodes. These seemingly irrational bouts are the release of years of suppression and repression of emotions on the person. Often, it manifest itself as some sort of emotional or nervous breakdown. Sometimes people can repress their emotions for years. I know I did. I froze out my emotions for much of my teens and twenties. That can make the explosion of emotions when that person hits the tipping point much worse. The unsuspecting person the Emotional Repressing Individual explodes on is often completely mystified by this bizarre change in behavior. The Emotional Repressing Individual apologizes for the explosion, saying they don't know what possessed them to say or do those awful things...then they go right back to repressing their emotions. People who repress their emotions can be psychologically abusive to those closest to them. Some might be able to keep it under control and be so sporadic it's not noticed. All of it depends upon the amount of stress in that person's life. The degree of functionality of people who repress emotions is high. All of it depends on the level of how extreme the emotional repression is and how long it takes between the cycle of repression/release. Some can also learn to release the emotion through action...any type of physical activity. Most highly functional people repress their emotions are capable of being in relationships and succeed in groups use this method of coping with emotions. Emotional Detachment Disorder First, let me explain that yes, there is a Psychiatric diagnosis called Emotional Detachment Disorder. In that case, a person becomes emotionally detached from a situation because they are overwhelmed in a traumatic situation. They simply can process the extreme form of emotion that they are feeling. Then they have problems forming any type of emotional attachment to anything for fear of the same experience. I just want to make it clear that the Detachment I'm about to talk about is totally different. Healthy Detachment The Buddhist point of view on emotional detachment is very different. During meditation is when I learned the discipline of working with my emotions. I had no idea that the result of the meditation was that I would start to working with my emotions. Emotional Detachment doesn't mean that you don't feel the emotion. No, it is the choice to consciously explore the emotion when it comes up and then let it go. With practice the emotion becomes an old friend. We become aware of when that emotion rises up to get our attention. We explore the source and the cause. Then we take action, thank the emotion for it's help and let it go. Emotions are like soap bubbles. They are very elusive when you try to grab them...the source will dissolve if you handle them roughly. Then you are left wondering what the heck 'put' you in a bad mood. Instead, when an emotion comes up you can greet it like an old friend. Gently, you examine the circumstances that caused the emotion. Did you wake from a nightmare? Did something that happened with a friend remind you of a past experience? Once you know the source you can then choose consciously how to respond. When you do respond...the emotion realizes it's message is delivered and it evaporates. Fear, for example, is a big emotion with which people struggle. When fear comes up we can explore it, sit with it...ask where it came from and what it wants us to do...instead of repressing it we take the advice it offers. An Example of Healthy Detachment From My Life In a previous blog I described when I went to the Emergency Room in an Ambulance. After years where I have been practicing the discipline of meditation to reduce cluttered thinking...I was able to switch into that peaceful state of being during the emergency. Normally, I would have tried to repress the fear. I would have tried to force myself to walk to the car while I hemorrhaged. I might have lost a lot more blood and possibly passed out...and possibly died. Fear can be your greatest instructor. The amount of fear I felt while bleeding told me this was a very serious issue and I needed to respond appropriately. My Fear was extreme, but once I made the choice to call an Ambulance it lessened to where I could not feel it anymore. The experience was very transformative. I had applied my practice in real life and it worked beautifully. On another occasion, when I was going to be late for a training class I negotiated with Fear. Fear told me not to bother, that I was going to be late and that I would be rejected as a result. I negotiated, what is the worst that can happen...rejection is not painful. I might never see the people there again. I chose to own the fact that I was late...and Fear insisted that I prepare. I formed a strategy on how to handle the situation when I arrived. I simply apologized and sat down as though I owned the place. Were they going to physically throw me out? Nope, they didn't. The tactic might not have worked if I was part of a combative or competitive work place...but I work at a union job where everyone has to be very tolerant. The teacher simply looked surprised, calculated what to do and decided the best choice was to act as though nothing was wrong. This is working with emotions. Exploring them, accepting their message, acting on that message to the fullest of our ability and having a conscious choice. Emotional Detachment doesn't mean you control the emotion. This doesn't mean you are freed of emotion forever. Instead, the emotion becomes your intuition...your emotional barometer guides you as it was meant to function. Intuitive Communication In my previous post, emotional barometer I explained how emotions can be used as an intuitive tool of inner communication. (http://bridgetkorns.weebly.com/blog/emotional-barometer) Consider working with your emotions as a form of directly communicating with your Soul or Higher Self. Many people believe the subconscious, from which emotions emerge, is our Soul. This is the part of us that science can't explain. This part always remembers everything that happens to us...which is why hypnosis can be effective when a eye witness doesn't remember details of an event. When you tap into the souls view of that event it remembers astounding details. These emotional checks with your Higher self are important because they can act as a guide as you navigate your life. If you have a lot of fear about applying to a certain job... you should explore that fear. Ask, where did you come from Fear? Why are you here alerting me about this job? If it's just the interview process you're afraid of then push through. Then it is a matter of weighing the risks and benefits of social interaction. Perhaps the fear is of rejection. This indicates that you need to work on areas of rejection...most specifically healing the times that you have been rejected in the past. You learned something about yourself...a part that needs to be healed so it's well worth exploring the Fear. If you find that you fear the job itself...and discover that you really don't feel up to what it requires and that in your mind it requires a great personal sacrifice with the only motivation being more money...there is your cue that the job isn't going to work out in the long run. The fear is telling you that the job is not for you. Either way, whether you learned that there was a part of you that needs to be healed or that you were about to make a mistake...you learned from that Fear. Eventually, when you work with them emotions don't come on so strong. Your Higher Self realizes you are getting the message and doesn't flood you with the extreme emotions. Since you listen and apply what you learn from them emotions become more like gentle whispers. There is a working relationship...emotions become more gentle and less a roller coaster. A balance is achieved which brings a great deal of mental peace. A Religious Example I stumbled across this in my own personal experience as I walked my Spiritual Path. Yet, now that I have perceived it makes complete and total sense. All of that which no one could explain to my satisfaction before...is explained. I see it in all regions. I see the distortions of this teaching in all religions, spiritual approaches and people. On that note lets look at the most commonly accepted religion in the United States: Christianity. In Matthew 8:23-27 and Mark 4:35-41 we see the same story. Clearly, this was a very important teaching. Everything in the New Testament has a dual purpose...to express an idea in parable and also tell a literal story. When we view each passage and event as both being literal and symbolic we uncover the secret teachings. "Whoever has the ears to hear, let him hear." (Matthew 11:15 and Mark 4:9). When looking at the story as allegory we see this archetype of a body of water. Again, this archetype represents the subconscious and emotions (which are naturally subconscious unless we chose to consciously work with them). Yeshua was sleeping in a boat while they were crossing a lake. A storm comes up and the disciples wake Yeshua because they are afraid they are going to drown. Yeshua then comments on their faith asking why they are afraid and calms the sea. The fear of the disciples disturbed the water. Yeshua was in a state of being where he worked with emotions. Therefore the outer world reflected his calm faithful inner world. The outer world reflects the inner world. This is how the saying, "As within, so without. As above so below," can be applied in our daily lives. Change yourself and change the world. In Revelation John saw the Sea of Glass "And I saw what looked like a Sea of Glass glowing with fire and standing beside the sea, those who had been victorious over the beast and its image and over the number of its name." This was reflective of his mental and emotional state after he conquered his lower self (the beast). I will go into the meaning of the beast in the next post...which might blow your mind. I know it blew mind once I realized the meaning and magnitude of the dreams I've had int he past nine months. Conclusion The turbulent sea of the subconscious. Many of us do not know how to work with the Sea of our Emotions. No one teaches us and most of our parents don't know how to work with them.. Society views them as being primitive and unnecessary in our current experience. If you see the world as terrifying, unpredictable place....then that is your emotional state of being reflected back at you and it's time to re-frame your paradigm. That's a good time to start putting on other peoples goggles by reading books written from perspectives you have never considered. Yet, that is how you start working with Source and with your Higher Self (soul). They are our connection to God. Your emotional state of being is a form of communication. The more you listen and take action appropriately the more you will be working with God and not against him. Emotions are our natural state as God/Source made us, they aren't remnants of a inferior state of being, and they serve a very important purpose. To try and thwart them or erase them from our existence would be a huge detriment to our society.
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Emotional Barometer
There is a teaching I came across that I didn't understand. That teaching was to follow your instinct and it will direct you towards your highest good...or your 'true soul frequency.' I didn't understand this idea at all. I couldn't comprehend what it might mean but it dawned on me in the last few weeks. To me it was an abstract concept that really didn't speak to me. The teaching said to do what you're excited about...what I didn't realize is that emotions are the main way we can tell when we are excited about something. I would make decisions based on what excited me...that was easy when there were two options. I noticed that my life became joyful but the lesson wasn't very overt. Then something happened recently that took me by surprise and I realized that the feeling you get when a path is really wrong for you can be just as strong and even more obvious. Invalidating Emotions We are taught that we are supposed to be happy when we do certain things. Yet, sometimes we will do things that are supposed to make people 'happy' and it just doesn't invoke that feeling in us. Things just don't seem right and there is no excitement. Those emotions are warnings. I had, in a lot of ways, invalidated them from a very young age. For the longest time, I saw emotions as a weakness and an unnecessary stumbling block that prevented me from doing things other people felt important. I figured they were old instincts left over from the cave man days. Now, I see them very differently. I realize that they are tools, that they can be friends, and when I pay attention to them...sit with them and ask where they come from...I receive answers. They are a subtle guide. These guides, this emotional intuition, is our human inheritance. They are our greatest tool when navigating life. To Be In Charge or Not To Be? I was recently sent to a training course for my department at work. That's considered like a promotion but it doesn't include a raise of any kind. Just a bit more responsibility and it makes me qualified to become a supervisor. For me, this is not my first rodeo. I've got years of management experience. I've been a part of several training courses before for management. I have an Masters in Business Administration and a Business Associates. Some of the stuff was unique to the company but the overall idea was nothing new. The funny thing was that for every class I had this apprehension. This feeling that I shouldn't be there...not that I didn't belong or that it was anything new. I even lead parts of the class when the instructing manager stepped out for phone calls. I didn't fear these classes, they were easy, but I felt like I was dragging when I went to them. The experience should be uplifting...and I know that I deserve the recognition... Yet, I couldn't shake this feeling. There was that paralyzing anxiety where I didn't want to get out of bed. There was no good excuse for it but I had to force myself to go and to do it which isn't the way it should be...I was miserable, confused and mad at myself for this inexplicable feeling. The feeling of unease crept into other parts of my life. I began to be a little bit more irritable and moody then usual. Then I started talking to people about my feeling of unease and reluctance...and I realized what was wrong. I had a hard time even admitting that something was wrong. For all means and purposes I should be happy about being recognized. Thankfully my husband and my best friend Jennifer got it...they understood where I was coming from and let me sort it out by venting to them. When the realization dawned on me of why I felt that way....the feeling of release was awesome. Identifying The Cause Strangely, it wasn't until I started to talk to others that I realized why I was feeling this way. I don't feel unworthy of the job or that I can't do it...but that I don't want to go down the management path again right now in my life. The path would come easy for me to go down. Right now, however, I want to focus on having children. I probably won't have those kids until next year....but that is my main focus in life. Since that is my priority it really replaced any desire I have for being in management. After all, it was my desire to focus on having a family that prevented me from applying for the actual supervisor position. I feel a manager's main priority should be work and with all of the medical issues that will be attached to my pregnancy I don't want the extra stress and I would feel guilty for letting down my team if I was out for months. Not To Be This might sound a bit odd but I feel this was a test from Spirit. Do I really want to commit myself to a life dedicated to my family...to my kids? I have been in management before and it seems as though it's a theme in this life....do I want to have kids or do I want to be a manager. I believe in past lives and I believe that in at least three of those lives I've played the role of a 'manager'. As far as I can tell, in those past lives I was only a mother once and I was not a stay at home mother. In that life, my husband died when we were both relatively young leaving me to raise a child and run a hat company in London alone. I didn't do a very good job at being a mother in that life...but my company thrived. In a previous life I was the leader of an Abby or something similar to it with no children. In another life I was a male who ran brothels...lots of leadership roles and not much when it comes to cultivating a good home life for my family. So this might be a multiple life lesson that I will finally complete in my 7th life (I know I'm a relative newbie but I've had pretty deep lessons in those lives). As soon as I named the fact that I didn't want to be in management or pursue that sort of career...Boom! The feeling of foreboding and unease was gone. I've had other lives, after all, where I was a brilliant manager of lots of people. There is no need in this life to play that role. Meanwhile, it appears my husband has landed a manager type position at a company. For whatever reason it is his turn in this life to be the breadwinner and take that role. Watching him succeed is more than enough for me. Conclusion Emotions are tools that can indicate when you are behaving in a way that is not in alignment with your highest good. The trick is paying attention to them and exploring them even when it is difficult or uncomfortable. Shining a light into those dark recesses where we don't want to look...where we should be happy but for some unnamed reason are not...is hard. That goes against all of our social conditioning. More money at work should lead to more happiness right? I know that losing my daughter, Lilith-Ann, knocked me off the path of being a career manager. I really thought I wanted that in life and I thought I could do both...but now it's pretty clear that I'm not meant to be a career manager. Perhaps, it is because I expect a manager to give their all to their crew that I cannot be both. A good manager is never really off the clock. They can separate their work from home life but they are always there for their crew. They have to be available to cover shifts and handle emergencies. I work with multiple women who have grown children. They have the time and the resources to be a good manager. There are other people that I work with that can fill that role. They need their time to shine too. My choice in this life is to focus on a my home life and building something wonderful with my husband. This is a great example about how our emotions can completely disagree with our minds. We think it seems like a great idea but our emotional aspect and our soul is hitting the breaks! Listening to that intuition, which I have ignored in the past because I felt I 'should' do something...is so important. There is a subtle dance of interpretation and loving kindness...of understanding what the message is and accepting it even if it's not something that is a commonly held belief or desire. Learning to listen to that takes a little skill but anyone can do that...and that's how easy being guided by your intuition can get! We always have all of the answers to our own questions within...it's just learning to listen to that intuition and not what society teaches that can be a bit tricky! |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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