I had a few options for this weeks post.
I wrote three blogs before this one during the week. (My aplogies for typos as this was written as a stream of consciousness post without revision). Each of them are worthy topics of being posted and I will post them in the future. Today, I want to take a moment to talk about staying centered during the storm. These three pictures, and the pictures of the Earthquake in Mexico, has everyon scratching their heads in fear this month. We're only 9 days into September and people are wondering when it will end. Big chunks of Oregon and Montana are on fire. We even had a fire in Burbank California. People are freaked out that Florida and the islands leading to the southern finger of our country are going to be wiped out. Still more are terrified by a sign in the sky that seems direclty related to the Apocalypse on 9/23...again. I've seen people say all of this is punishment for electing Trump. I've heard tons of people saying, "Look, here, proof of man made global climate change!" Still more, "Weather control is real and the Illumanti is entering their end game to kill us all!" The Apocalypse people are going, "Oh good, here comes God's wraith to wipe you all out." The Bigger Picture We were so freaked out about 9/11. We were so freaked out about Katrina. Yet, we hardly speak about that now. Forests actually need to be burned from time to time to allow for new growth and to remain healthy. Yosemite once wondered why their beautiful Sequoia trees weren't coming back in...turns out fire is the only way the seed pods will open. The ecology of Yosemite requires a fire...and for years they had been putting them out and wondering why there were no new sequoia's...they were killing the opportunity for the chance for new groves to form. There is a reason real estate in Florida is so cheap. All of this is just proof of the temporary nature of reality. All of our lives are temporary and each stage of our life is just temporary. We go from being a baby, to a toddler, to a young child, to a pre-teen...to a teenager...and at thirtyfive I can say I am totally different from the preson I was in those stages on a subjective shallow level. Finding Our Center In meditation and following the Path of the Seeker we find our Center. The Center is not ego and it is not our personality. The Center is not our thoughts that come and go like the waves at the beach. The Center is not our actions that we performed yesterday, nor the ones from today...or tomorrow. This is the observer, the one that can note thoughts, label them as thoughts and send them away. This is the unchanging aspect of us that is One with the One Creator. This is the Center that is whole, clean, perfect and pure no matter what we do on this Earthly plane because it knows this is all a play...an illusion...Maya. When you know that your soul is eternal because it is always a part of the One Creator that is always eternal and the soul is made in the image of the Creator... when you know it deep down...you see these 'scary' things and shrug. We have seen them before in other lifes and if we choose to come back we will see them again. You Only Live Once I've stated before how ignorant that statement is as a justification for terrible behavior. Yet, that thought actually causes a lot more harm...and everyone who doesn't believe in reincarnation or life after death...well, they think they just have this one precious brief life. People think they have only one chance to have eternal life that is not torture because of idiotic religious practices where governments and churches have tried to control people through manipulating thim based on their greatest fear...almost from the moment Jesus Died (and paradoxically, because Jesus triumphed over death). This justifies a lot of fear...if you only live life once you cling to it greedily. The problem is...you're guranteed to die in this world unless you can figure out the transfiguration of Jesus, Moses and Elijah. Chances are if you have a bumper sticker on your car that reads, "He who dies with the most toys wins," it's not going to happen. Even if you follow the robotic formula of guranteed American Happiness of getting a spouse, get a good job, buy a home (or at least rent a place) and have kids...you probably aren't going to be bodily 'taken up to God.' Again, it's accepting that life is temporary. Is more going on? I've shared that my vision of the future is amazing. If people reach the level of 'Awakening' or 'Enlightenment' that I've reached where they understand their Oneness and Unity with the One Creator bringing them so much peace in the next ten years...we're golden people. In fact, I was reviewing movies to see how long this crazy division in the US is going to continue. I looked at movies coming out in 2019 and I can say...it will be done by 2019. Next year, there is going to be some residules but 2019 is not even slightly divided. In fact, with live action Lion King coming out I'd say the rightful King will take his place. Well, and the Gold thing might be literal. "Alchemists of ancient times claimed that by achieving the perfect balance of fire and water it was possible to produce a chemical/spiritual reaction that was powerful enough to transform lead into gold. Whether you take it literally or hold it as pure myth, there is something interesting about the archetypes of fire and water, and the importance of achieving a balance in our lives." (Retrieved from http://leeannmallorie.com/inner-alchemy-fire-meets-water/) Isn't it funny how we have fire to the West and Water on the East...Two vastly opposing forces striving for balance in our country? Chew on that one for a bit. Conclusion In the bigger grander scheme of things...big things are happening. We're going to come out of this a country reforged in the smithy of our own desires. Two opposing forces always create something new. All I can say, is that Peace be unto you...and calm. If everyone discovers that their key to the Kingdom of Heaven is within, turns within, and finds that this world will change in the twinkle of an eye...in fact, I'm counting on it. Before I experienced Oneness I was the ultimate pessimist. I was all doom gloom and into Doomsday Prophecy. Since then, I see the futility of the concept. The One Creator cares for every single aspect of the creation especially those made in it's Image...The One Creator is paitent because it has eternity to wait for people to learn their lessons and decide to work with it not against it willfully creating their own. You almost get to be a bit like the Marvel Charecter Deadpool. Deadpool knows he's immortal. He also know he's in a comic book/movie/cartoon, etc. He know's he is a part of the illusion and that's why he can get into some hilarious situations...because he doesn't have the filter of fearing death or thinking that he's more than the illusion. We can all learn from that carefree charecter...and the more we realize we are in a sort of Virtual Reality that our soul is playing...the more pleasent and dream like it will be...because we won't be spending so much time on resisting. This planet is beautiful and it will survive without us so put that lofty burden of self-importance about destroying it to the side. There are thousands of other planets that we can replay this same scenario on until eternity...because more are being made every second. The more you get upset and turn red in the face when circumstances are out of your control occur...the more clear that your fear is in control of your mind and not your soul.
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I'm relying on an older blog that I wrote today because life has been very busy for me the last two week since I returned to work. This is the final of the series of blogs I wrote about "Toxic Beliefs." These are beliefs that cause people to make poor choices in their lives. Toxic Belief's can literally control and influence a person. Often times these beliefs are inherited or conditioned into a child by his parents or society.
When we are in school we learn really fast that unless you're absolutely sure you know the answer don't raise your hand to answer a question. This is why so may teachers resort to asking specific students and embarrassing them horribly when they get it wrong, questions. Most people are taught to be afraid of failure by their teachers who do not teach to inspire creativity but with the intention that everything in life has a clear answer. This doesn't teach anyone the proper coping skills for life. Most of the questions we ask as an adult don't have a clear or concise answer. Just put a Pro-Lifer and a Pro-Choicer in a room together. Soon there will be tufts of hair and claw marks on the walls but for all the efforts there is a very concise proper answer that anyone can agree upon. In a subjective world right and wrong/ good versus evil is often in the eyes of the beholder. The few things that are obviously wrong or evil are in our laws. This is why trial by public opinion is so fallible. Expecting there to be a "correct" answer to every question you might have in life...is a horrible flaw in our school system. Often times, kids won't even try some new intellectual exercise or share their opinion for fear that it will be "wrong." That is part of the reason, that Chip Foose from Overhaulin' is credited to saying that kids don't create any more. They're not taught to create, they are only taught to consume and to accept what people give them. Only proven experts in their fields are allowed to create. Sadly, if we had always had this idea we wouldn't have the marvels that Alexander Graham Bell created, or the tale of Benjamin Franklin's kite experiment or Nikola Tesla's crazy antics. We wouldn't half the things in this world if some 'academic expert' went back in time to tell the people who experimented that they didn't have enough education in a certain field to make something. Part of this is because hands on class room activities have been removed because of budget constraints. Another part has to do with the fact that Academic Schools are so stuck in their little bubbles they don't look outside of it. In Psychology we were required to learn even the failed theories and explanations for behavior. Fraud's theories were hopelessly flawed because they were so biased from his era (you would think we would learn from that!). Freud also believed that cocaine was a cure-all but you don't hear about that in any of the psychology classes where they seriously study his flawed theories (http://www.openculture.com/2014/04/igmund-freud-researched-got-addicted-to-cocaine.html). Since Academia requires everyone to think in the lines of the predecessors any radical new idea is completely and utterly dismissed. To think outside of the box and act like one of the people who pioneered (indeed in many ways created) the field of study is considered to be an insult to the Academic Institution. Thus, unless you are tucked away in some College or University somewhere studying a specific field be it Philosophy, Economics, Psychology, Physics, etc....you are not allowed to have an opinion. You're a hack. You are not credible. Creativity is shut down when it is suggested there is only one way to do things. Becoming bogged down in theory can really cause creativity to stagnant. We have reached the point where we know so much, or at least theoretically we think we have it worked out to the point of a general consensus, that we refuse to allow for a margin of error. Trial and Error All of us learn by measuring ourselves against whatever objective we have. When you're an adult you learn to cook by burning some bread. There are inevitable bad meals...either it didn't cook right or you don't follow the directions. In adult life failing is a common every day battle...unlike in school where you could sit in the back of the classroom, hand in all of your homework and hopefully never draw the attention of your teacher. Teaching should focus on having people try...and not punishing people for having the 'correct' answer. Most of the teachers I knew taught from the book and if you didn't answer exactly as the book stated...it was considered wrong. The teachers often were not capable of critical thinking skills. However, we don't come out of the womb with a textbook in which every exact detail about how we will navigate our life is written. I have trained a lot of people over the years. Often hands on experience is totally different from learning the idea of something in a classroom. I don't expect someone to know automatically how to make a latte. Even if they read a detailed book on the art of making lattes I would not expect them to make a perfect latte on their very first try. Now, they may be informed more than the next person but I don't assume they even know what a latte is (espresso and milk, sometimes served with a syrup or sauce for flavor). To assume someone will get it right off the bat is just wrong...and even with extreme theoretical knowledge I guarantee they will be uncertain that first time. Talking about doing something in theory is very different from doing. Sadly, in most classrooms there is not much doing...but a lot of talking. Doing is messy. When doing things you can be more creative. When doing things you can sometimes stumble over something brilliant that everyone else missed or didn't appreciate. Do you think that the custom car shops became popular because everyone wants to drive a custom car? No, such shops operate in a niche that no one could have predicted would exist twenty years ago. Creative people are what drive innovation and it's a group that is dying in the United States because of the prevalent Group Think foisted upon a Media and Academia that insist only theoretical experts can have a valid idea. Your Education and Job Don't Define You We've all seen it when you watch the news. The man person they are telling about whether they were murdered or they won the latest marathon...they inevitably tell you the person name and their job title. Doesn't matter if the job title is Stay At Home Mom...according to the news or about anyone else what 'you do' defines you. They never say, "Tom the laziest accountant in Moth Industries..." No, they simply say accountant and leave the rest to your imagination. By the end of the segment you have this idea that the's the most knowledgeable accountant that has ever lived and you wished you had such a firm calling. Most often then not people bumble into a career. To me, too many people expect their kids to come out of their womb and know exactly what they want to be when they grow up and how to get there. That's just an unrealistic expectation. Teachers seem to hold this same expectation. They don't allow for kids to have the room to grow and give them the opportunities for a multitude of experiences so they can choose what they like. This is why a kid can go to college with a Nursing degree...go to intern and discover they can't stand the sight of blood. Still others end up career students who bumble towards one degree to another until they've spent ten years in college and thousands of dollars in student loans...because in truth they are happy with their minimum wage waitress job and are too embarrassed to admit it. So they work towards becoming 'something better' but they never go anywhere because their calling was to be a waitress. Parents would be serve better to give their children ample opportunity for trial and error. Then when a child gets upset becomes something fails they can be coached on how to deal with failure. They should be encouraged to try multiple jobs. Unless a kid has a very specific career goal in mind...a parent should teach them it's okay to be happy with a union job stocking shelves or delivering packages. Not everyone needs to go to college. Not everyone is meant to be a doctor and most jobs don't really require degrees...or you end up working in a field totally unrelated to your degree (http://www.forbes.com/sites/johntamny/2013/02/10/sorry-left-and-right-no-job-requires-a-college-degree/#530266eb76af). Perhaps, in the 1920's-1980's when degrees were less prevalent they had some value. Now, they make a good paper weight. We all make mistakes and we are all going to make a mess when we do something wrong. We're not little robots where we get fed data for 15 years and come out perfect for one specific job and that alone. In fact, most people just find a niche, a specific thing that they do well, and by doing it well they become successful. Sometimes, that's role is something the company didn't even know they needed or the person creates an industry know one else perceived had a market. We all are going to try things that don't work out, but the art is in the attempt of trying new things. At the end of the day there is no one sitting around keeping a score card of every failure and success that you have in your life....except yourself. In fact, most people don't even need to know when and how much you failed. They judge you by the person you present to them in the moment you meet. Sometimes, as in my case, even when you technically screw up a first date mistakes can lead to the best things in your life. Trying, failing...and then getting up is what really makes life worth living. No one who is successful ever became successful by never taking a risk. That fear is how people lose everything. Not Trying Sometimes the biggest risk is simply getting out of bed to try something new. Letting go of past failures is a huge talent that must be grown. So, you messed up, no one is keeping score. Maybe you looked like an idiot the other day at a restaurant when you went to pick up a fork, your wrist came down on a spoon in such a way that you launched in straight at the head of the waitress and shew as knocked unconscious. So what? Tomorrow it will make a great story to tell a new friend. Sometimes you just simply have to try something to see how it goes. Not very long ago I went with my husband and his friend to Six Flags. I was a bit terrified of going on all of those roller coasters. A long time had passed since I had gone on roller coasters. I found that I was a little bit out of the age bracket as mostly teenagers were at the park. Yet, even though I did get a little bit bruised I had a blast going on the roller coasters and didn't even feel sick. Some of the coasters were intense. If you never try an activity you'll never know what it is like. Fear, and a rigid rulebook of what is good and evil, often causes people to fear trying new things and so they stick to the same old pattern. Even when they are deeply unhappy they cling to that pattern hoping for different results...they keep getting what they got (a quote from Collette Baron Reid). At some point, when the pain gets to be to much...that person will have a breakthrough. Sometimes they end up in a hospital or sometimes they lose their job. They didn't listen to their own feeling of suffering so they don't get out in time... When if they would have just gone maybe they would have found something better that makes them happy (although, there is a bit of a trick to that as well...because you'll never find happiness outside in the material world). Almost everyone is happy their first few months at a job. Learning something new causes the time to fly by and even though it might be stressful it's naturally fun. Overcoming Fear By realizing that everyone fails and that nothing is going to be 100% correct the first time we must attempt many activities in our lives. Sometimes, it's figuring out a way to make it as low cost as possible so the financial damage is not terrible if it fails. Sometimes, it's taking the risk of being judged such as writing this blog. My fear of being judged is one of the biggest ones that I have...I don't want people to look at I write and make fun of me. Yet, I have never had that happen. I've been writing a blot with some pretty weird stuff in it for over two years now...and not one negative reply from the people who read it. I get a lot of positive feedback but not negative. Sometimes, we just have to look fear in the eye and smile. Say hello, ask where he came from and ask where he is going. Usually, when we do whatever we are scared of...and somehow survive!- that fear fades away. Fear is a useful tool, if it's used as a tool and not a way of life. Fear allows us to know when to proceed with caution. New endeavors usually take some form of investment and we should question if the cost is worth the potential risk. Yet, without taking that chance...without doing or creating...mankind would still be living in caves dressed in animal skins barely surviving. Limiting ourselves to familiarity limits the breadth and depth of the life we have come here to experience. Further, if we never challenge the Rule Books (conditioning) that we are given by our family, parents, and society we will never know what are truly their beliefs based on their experience and our own beliefs. We are all experts on life...each hour we continue to breathe and survive we are proving our worth and right to be here. No one can take that away from us and no one can take our desire to try out new and innovative ideas or ways of thinking. If everyone worked like Robots, like drones in the Borg Collective, there wouldn't be much innovation. There is no wonder that the reason the Borg in the Star Trek series could only grow by assimilating other species ideas into their 'collective.' Their hive mind limited their creativity. This is why I reject the idea of Unity Mind. We need to focus on our individuality...and as individuals there is no right way or right path to anything. We simply have to forge forward into the unknown creating as we go, sometimes we will fall, but we will always exist...we will always survive in some form. We have all of eternity and that's a very long time. So we don't have to do it all in this life...better that we choose to challenge and grow in every direction that we feel the impulse. So go get out those gardening shears. By that Art Supply you've been staring at but fear touching because you haven't been formally trained. The formally trained people simply have more superficial 'rules' to create blind spots for them. You are free...free to create what you will the way you want to and in doing that you may just transform the world. The secret is...there is no "Right" way to do anything...and if there is a routine it's because someone else tried and failed many times before to create that routine. That doesn't make it the right way and always leaves a lot of room for improvement. Conclusion We must not allow the Fear of Failure or Fear of Being Wrong prevent us from sharing new ideas with the world or trying new activities. We need to learn, create and innovate. That is within the very nature of who we are as human beings. The most successful people feel fear but take the risk anyways while minimizing any potential damage failure might cause. There is never success if one does not first take a risk. Mistakes occur, especially on a first attempt, so we must be gentle with ourselves in the process. Failure does happen, but we have to remember that's part of the life we have come here to experience. There is a level of impermanence to everything, a level of risk, and it is because of this very tangible feeling that we learn so quickly and so deeply. If we never attempt to try new things, to offer new ideas from our own unique perspective, then we will be missing out on a huge fulfilling aspect of life. Not to mention humanity will be missing out on a unique voice. Think if George Washington had been silent. What if Jesus had remained silent and never taught the masses? What if Buddha kept enlightenment to himself? At the end of the day, there is no Right Way or One Path to the Creator...there are many broken paths that lead to our individual identity comprehending the profundity of the Universe. Each path we carve is unique. If it were anything else there would be very little point in this experience. We may not always choose easiest fork in the road. The difference is moving forward even when we've made the worst choice and making the best of it. A long time ago when I used to load trailers we would get to the end of the trailer...there would be one row of boxes left and not much room. Many of the guys would give up and try to call for another trailer...a waste of resources and time. The supervisors would call me, because I would tell them, I'll find a way. Sometimes, it was being creative, sometimes it required that I rebuild the wall of boxes someone else had created before I got there...but I always managed to fit even the very last box. The supervisors didn't know how I did it...but they called on me to do it and by sheer intention...I always made it happen. Every experience is worthy because it teaches us more about ourselves. Learning to accept being wrong or to accept failure with grace is one of the most noble things human beings can do...admitting we are wrong is very hard but nothing that humans create is perfect or permanent. I cannot fix everything. I can't heal the sick or bring the dead back to life...but that's not something I was called upon to do in this life. Each of us have our own unique talents and gifts that are just as valuable as these miraculous ones. Our unique voice and perspective contributes to the beauty of the whole. That is part of the beauty of our lives. Take the road less traveled, even if you don't know where it might go...take the advice of the 'experts' with a grain of salt. All of us are really just making up all of this as we go...all of this is just subjective and the entire world could change over night if everyone opened their minds to the possibility that everyone else might be right at the same time....on an individual basis....without the need for consensus and Group Think. Live, let be, risk/sow and reap what you have grown while causing harm to no one. Simple words that I live by in my day to day life. As promised here is my Valentines Day post. I wrote this mostly angled for those who don't have a loved one in their life. Yet it can apply to anyone who is hoping their situation will change for the better...be it a move or a job or whatever change you may desire.
All of us experience cycles. I've experienced a five year cycle where I learn something and a three year cycle of a spiritual growth spurt on a regular basis. To really experience something new, we have to make room for new experiences and to do that we have to put to bed our old lessons. I'm going to explain the process to open up for healing so you can close down those old emotional lessons you've been re-experiencing in your life and how to open up the room for a new more positive experience. Don't Fear The Unknown Fear. We all feel it at times. The feeling can be pervasive. Sometimes it doesn't seem to have a source. All of us Fear change, we try to hold onto the past pleasurable moments and fear the negative. When things start to change we leap to the worst case scenario mentally...then worry about it incessantly and as the psychological concept of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy explains...our subconscious does everything in it's power to validate our expectation. Since we live in a subjective reality it is easy to find proof that our fear are valid. We can almost prove any point that we make our mind up to argue. I discovered this during my college years. I would take a stance, seek out articles and studies that supported it and craft my entire paper around a hypothesis. Not once did I find information that suggested an error...if I did find something that contradicted the point of view I was arguing I'd leave it out of the paper. In fact, every fear you have is valid. There I said it...it is possible to experience all of your worst nightmares in every scenario you encounter in your life. If that is what you want to experience. If you want to experience the more positive side of fear learning to frame it properly so it does not control your life is an important step. Sometimes to gain something very important we have to take a huge risk. With love, when you first meet someone you like there is the risk of rejection. Accepting impermanence, the cycle of life in death where nothing lasts forever in our reality, alleviates the pain of fear. Even if you are rejected you know the feeling won't last forever. You can dedicate time to feeling that fear or you can examine it, label it and release it. As long as we Fear the feeling of Fear we will hold onto all of the emotional baggage of our past. We will continually project it onto others and onto our future. We will create the reality we don't want. Instead, we must make Fear a friend. When fear comes to visit I greet it, "Oh hello there old friend. Nice to see you again. What is it that I need to be mindful of?" Once it delivers the message it goes away...if I fight it the feeling grows and grows until it's overwhelming and I can't even bring myself to leave the house. Life itself seems to lose it's vibrancy. I'm in the lowlands of despair. Some people spend their entire life in that despair because they hold onto their fears and regrets so tightly they don't allow themselves to experience anything else. When you reach the point where you don't fear the Unknown...where you don't care about how you go from A to B...you enter a very powerful place. In fact, you start to see that the Unknown is not a dark black hole...but a brilliant white blank slate of potential. Clearing Your Emotional Energy In order to create room for something new in your life...you first have to recognize what didn't work in the past...but in order to do that you have to accept the pain you felt as a result of the decisions you made and release the hold of that pain in your life. Exploring that pain takes a certain amount of bravery. No one likes to see where they are lacking or examine a painful situation they experienced from multiple perspectives. I find it hard not to shut down emotionally in such situations let alone revisit or re-imagine them! Back in 2007, just before meeting Ross, I cleared up a huge mental hurdle I had for myself. I felt that I was lacking something because I was divorced. I didn't see why anyone would give me a chance again because I had not been faithful to my vows the first time. I realized I had said those vows only out of obligation and that I had no control of what had ended that relationship. I released the label completely. By naming that label- a divorcee- and then releasing any emotional energy that it had over me I moved into a state of expectation. I knew that I deserved a better experience. I knew that what had influenced me in the past had no power over me in my current life. Just because I had a failed marriage didn't mean I was doomed to repeat that mistake. I was emotionally honest with myself. I knew why the last marriage hadn't worked. I identified the behavior, mostly a lack of self-esteem and social conditioning that a girl who dated a lot of people was a whore. I realized the role that had played in my poor choices and I healed them. This was a powerful process. When I met Ross in 2008 I was a totally different person that I had been before. I was more emotionally honest. I was less of a people pleaser. If he didn't like me it wouldn't matter. I would go on, and there would be someone else if I chose. I didn't take it so seriously when I made a mistake or beat myself up for hours afterwards. On our first date when I farted a lot because I had a white pasta sauce that flared up my lactose intolerance...I let it go. I didn't dwell on it. The decision if he would come back for more was up to him and as unlikely as it would seem...for him it was a breath of fresh air to be with someone who was authentic. To release emotional energy we have to accept that we had a bad experience. We have to own our role in creating that experience because in any situation where two people were involved both are responsible. I made poor decisions from a place of dis-empowerment that led to my first marriage that was horrible. All of the signs were there that he was not mentally healthy. I should have run away screaming. I chose to stay with him. I chose to try and save him from himself...which was never my burden or my role to play. By owning my owning my own mistakes and the responsibility I held in that situation I was able to learn from them. I was able to adjust my approach to relationships in such a way that I would not repeat that experience. We often repeat the same lesson over and over again until we learn from them. Unless we learn what we did to get what we got...we're going to keep doing the same behavior and keep getting the same thing. Preparing The Way In 2007 I didn't know I was preparing for the Best Life Partner I could ever have met coming into my life. I was just trying to live life the best way I possibly could. We don't really need 'tools' to prepare the way. Instead it's it is a frame of mind we apply in the now...in this very moment. The best definition for abundance I have come across is from Bashar. He describes abundance not as money but as, "Being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it." In that way, I am very abundant and when you feel abundant it carries over to every other area of your life. I discovered that in 2008 when I met Ross. I was already abundant and happy...he sensed that and was attracted to me. If I had felt needy he would not have been attracted to me. Being in that zone means that you have to accept where you are at in life. You can't sit there thinking, "My life could be better if I had this...this...and this..." In that way you'll always wait for life to 'happen' to you instead of being an active participant. Then when something blind sides you and you're wondering why...you feel like a helpless victim and not someone who played a role in the situation. You have to know that right now in this very moment your life is the best that it could be...that you have mind the potential in every situation that you have faced. Sure, you don't have to be 100% happy with the situation you are in right now...but you have to realize life is never going to be perfect (and to say that it has to be is, in a way, arguing with Reality and God...and it's just an insane way to choose to suffer). I wasn't 100% happy living in my parents house in Big Bear Lake. I felt isolated and I felt bad that I didn't have my own independence. Yet, I chose to embrace it and to make the best of the moment. I enjoyed showering my parents with thoughtful gifts and I bought my very first vehicle (my 2007 Ranger) right off of the lot! To experience abundance you have to be happy with what you have and not focus on what you lack. That means taking inventory and finding ways that you were lucky. I was lucky my parents were very loving and supportive of me allowing me to live in their house. I was lucky to live in a place that so embodies nature and I only had to drive a couple minutes to reach a nature walk that I could enjoy with Angel. I was lucky to have my dog, Angel, as my constant companion. I had a lot of blessings, but I really had to appreciate them and accept them with every fiber of my being to really feel abundant. When you reach the point where you feel that all of your needs are being met...you have fulfilled Robert Malsow's Hierarchy of Needs. At that point, you are a Self-Actualized person. Malsow suggested that only 2% of the population is self-actualized! Only 2% of the people are capable of meeting all of their own needs! That's when the real miracles happen. I can attest that you might be self-actualized at one moment and in the next have your feet cut off from beneath you. I believe that we are spiritually tested in this way and at some point you can (because I have) become comfortable with that uncertainty...that groundlessness. If you feel as though you are lacking something in your life the best way to deal with it is to prepare. Go through Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs...identify areas where you feel as though you are lacking...and search for a solution. Believe me if you Seek you will Find and you will be Fulfilled. Every person's journey is unique. What worked for me may not work for you. Some people might not achieve it in this life time. That's okay, at our essence we are infinite beings so there really isn't need to rush. Accepting The Unexpected I did a little ceremony before I met Ross. I sat down and I wrote down in my journal everything I wanted in a man. That list was over one hundred items long! I just poured out everything I wanted. Everything I desired. I wrote that same list on another piece of paper. This was during the winter of 2007. When the fire in the hearth was going pretty good I threw in the paper. I let go of all of those expectations. What I didn't realize was that I had set an intention, then I let go of expectations. By burning that paper of expectations I let the Universe know that I was going to accept whatever it provided. This, I've learned, is a basic way of manifestation. You set an intention, you place the order with the universe, you get into a state of gratefulness for what you expect to arrive...and you let go of expectations. If I had insisted on a person who met all one hundred of those traits...if I had looked for them instead of just being accepting of whoever came...I would not have reached out to Ross. When I went back to look at the list many years later in my journal I realized he actually met all of those expectations. He fulfilled all 100 but not quite in the way I had anticipated. That's how the Universe works sometimes. Reaching out to Ross in the first place was a fluke. I was on Ok Cupid for the Myers Briggs Type Indicator Test. I stumbled onto part of the website that allowed you to rate guys. I was really enjoying rating the guys and giving the ones I thought were really fake and egotistical lower scores. When I saw Ross' profile I thought it was fake and wrote a snarky letter calling him out...little did I have any idea it would lead to the greatest romance in my life. Ross was far from an echo chamber. He didn't think or feel the same way as I do...he still doesn't. I've had an influence on him...he's no longer a straight up atheist as he realized it's anti-god. Yet, that's what makes our relationship so interesting. Often times, what we expect or what we think we want is not what we need. That's why it's so important to let go of expectations and accept what comes our way. This allows for so much more creativity and the Universe can deliver you the perfect thing or person you didn't expect. Conclusion In order to make room for the new in our life we have to follow a bit of a process. Each of our processes are unique. At different levels of our own life path we will experience a different cycle of release and rebirth. First, we can't fear the unknown. We have to let go of the Fear and open ourselves up to infinite possibility. Second, you have to let go of your emotional baggage and pain. As long as you're identifying with something painful you radiate that energy and you will only attract something similar. The only way to create something new is to let go of that old pain and energy...let it heal instead of keeping that wound open. Think of it as personally cleaning up your mental house. Third, prepare the way or set an intention. How you do it doesn't matter...the simple the better. Don't worry about how you're going to get from A to B or set a date. Just feel the excitement that you can feel the way being cleared so that it can come into your life. The universe has it's own timing and thought it might not meet what you expect...it's always perfect and looking back you realize how perfect that timing really was but usually only in hindsight. This takes a little bit of trust that the universe will bring you what you need when you need it....but once you can search your heart and find that trust your life will open up in new and exciting ways. Four, accept the unexpected. If we are holding onto a very specific ideal we might reject everything else...even the Greatest Experience we might ever have.. because we were only looking for one specific experience. When we are looking for that one thing...we might over look a dozen similar things that would serve us better that the universe has presented but because it didn't match exactly what we wanted. Five, live in the moment. Explore the depths of every moment for the golden nuggets of wisdom and the type of experiences that bring you the most joy. By doing this now you are building yourself a better future. We can't go back to yesterday and we can't fast forward to the future...if we experienced only the high points in our life we would miss out on the depth of the experience that often gives us the most wisdom. Evert moment is precious. Every time we meet a stranger we have an opportunity to learn a little bit more and express our compassion a little bit more...making the entire world a better place. Well, it seems like a formula that I have presented. You don't have to do it in exactly this order but this is what I have learned works for me. As I said, the process might be different for you. At different stages in life and spiritual development it may take a longer or shorter period for the change you want to enter your life. Each of us have a unique path...this is just what I've experienced. Marrying a skeptic has been the best experience. I am very grateful for my loving husband and I have many cherished stories about our experiences together. I never would have considered marrying a skeptic...if I had held fast to what I was looking for...I might have demanded someone who was a complete mirror of me. I would have missed out as Ross continuously challenges me to grow intellectually. I can even apply the same situation to my best friend Jennifer. If I had rejected her husband Joe when he said, "Oh my gosh you remind me of my wife I bet the two of you will make great best friends..." I would never have the fantastic relationship I have with her. She makes my life just that much sweeter. Don't hold onto your emotional baggage expecting to get what you already got, open up your mind to all possibilities and live every moment acting in compassion...and you really can't go wrong. I hope you enjoyed this post and I wish you a wonderful Valentines Day I've written about Manifestation in the past but I want to share the incredible story that has been unfolding in the recent days. I've been paying particularly close attention to my dreams. Last night I had a pretty powerful one. The messages are clear.
Yesterday, things just didn't seem to go right and last week totally felt that way. Things just seem to be a little off. They are not entirely bad but they aren't unfolding in a smooth fashion. For example, a customer went to put a straw into his cup as we were talking about hi re-tiling his house and the straw pierced the side of the cup. This caused quite a mess and I've never seen that happen before! Later, a plastic trash bag that was double bagged broke open as I was lifting it out of the trash can. I moved a vase that held my bamboo plant and it broke sending water gushing everywhere! Little things, minor occurrences but when they are added up can leave me feeling frustrated. Dragging Along The Past Repeatedly, in my dreams there has been a message of carrying around things from the past. In one dream, my husband and I were somewhere when I went to get the bags we had brought. I started shoving stuff in, some that was not even mine, and he asked me, "Why are we taking all of this stuff with us? Is this really necessary?" In another dream, I was back in my Grandmas (my Great Grandma Emma and her daughter, my Grandma Alta used to live together in a house in San Bernardino) place but I was in their huge garage. Their garage used to hold the most wondrous goodies and treats that they would make every year for the group they were a part of The Order of Pocahontas. In truth, it was more of a workshop similar to Santa's Workshop then a garage for a kid like me. I could go in there and get different preserves they made or look at the Christmas goodies they were making or the Easter Baskets they used to create with toys and homemade sugar cookies. Only in my dream, I was only allowed to be there for a short period of time and I had to take all of the stuff I had made and left there. As I went to take stuff though, I realized I was destroying it and that it wasn't really like I was preserving the things I was taking. Overwhelmingly, for me, the message is not to carry my old burdens forward. I'm just not sure how to let some of the things that have happened to me go. Mostly, because they were traumatic events that I hope never happen to me again. I realize that a lot of it was not my fault, that it was the psychological issues within the other people, but it still leaves scars. Being Afraid of Fear The other thing that I realized from these dreams is that in the past I feared being afraid and showing fear. Every year, my husband and I go to Knott's Berry Farm's Halloween Haunt. The people in costume don't scare me nor do the mazes. I'm simply not easily scared. The times when I've really felt fear I powered through it. I realize now this is something I learned when I was a child through some very odd experiences. One being when my pet, a dog named Little Bear, died when I was about three or four years old. I was freaking out, and in total denial that he was dead. Someone had shot him and left him on the side of the road. My dad was digging a grave and put Little Bear's body down into it. He made me look in because he wanted me to stop crying and denying that Little Bear was dead. I didn't look at Bear's dead body but I learned that day not to freak out in traumatic situations but to bury the fear. Our society, as a whole, reflects this notion. The Damsel in Distress is looked down upon. The people who show fear are looked down upon. Even being emotional is looked down on because logic is more valued in our society. Yet, our emotions and fear play an important role in our lives. I can tell you from experience that bottling up fear and sadness can lead to terrible consequences. Fear is a very important tool. Fear tells us when something is wrong, that we should not trust someone or a situation. Fear has, no doubt, played an important role in our evolution. The sad fact is that in culture 'negative' emotions are repressed. Allowing myself to feel the fear, to thank it for it's wisdom when it comes up, and heed the caution that I know I need to proceed with has been very helpful. Suppressed emotions are really hard to control and I know that's what my panic attacks stemmed from. I have always felt as though I had to be the strong one and I didn't have time to actually feel the fear. I would run away from that emotion afraid that I might look weak. However, I've learned when I go out to meet fear on it's turf it becomes tamed. Instead of running away from it, turning towards it and embracing it is an effortless way to resolve those emotions. Conclusion The strange thing is that I know that these were my current lessons. I have learned how to deal with the fear portion and show my emotions of fear, anger or sadness in the moment instead of being the 'strong one.' However, letting go of the traumatic issues of the past...that ones a bit more tricky and I know that's what I'm working on. Letting go of old resentments. In a meditation I imagined all of the people I can't bring myself to forgive and for each of them I visualized giving Yeshua a coin that represented them. I realized it was a lot! Past issues, hang ups, and fears do not belong in my future. While this is what I'm currently meditating and working with it is proving to be a challenge. I know this is where I'm 'energetically' off and why little mistakes keep happening. Things breaking for no reason, HUGE tomato Hornworms trying to kill my garden, and other set backs that should have worked out but were clearly not for me. Yet, at the same time, something everyone else was very fearful of turned out to be the greatest blessing. Not only did the situation improve but incredibly...a lot of conflict resolved itself and just simply disappeared. I had heard that the people who were negative in our lives would just "go away," "move" or "be reassigned" and then just simply disappear from our lives....but two people I thought were really stuck in my life that caused a lot of heartache just went...poof! They're gone and I don't have to worry about them at all anymore. A situation of change most people would fear turned out to be a hugely bountiful blessing. So, in essence, I've seen manifestation work in my life. I've hit a wall, I think it was going too fast for me and there are two obstacles that I am fearing quite a bit coming up. I think that fear, based on experiences of the past, are what have me frozen on my life path and manifestation. I'm almost afraid to move forward with other things, so I'm putting parts of my life on hold, until these two things I'm resisting the most are resolved. An old saying goes, "What you resist is what persists." One of these events I've feared, when I don't go into turtle protection mode, has been rescheduled twice. The universe almost seems to be saying, "Oh, you're not worried and focused on this? Well! You don't have to experience it then!" Anyhow, tonight I know a lot of people are going to be wrapped up in the Presidential Debate. I'm going to be wrapping Christmas Presents while listening to Christmas music...and planning my Halloween graveyard display for the yard (I bought glow in the dark skeleton arms that I might modify!). Come what may with this Election...change is in the air and I will embrace it...Resistance...after all, will only cause what you fear most to persist. There is a troubling trend in our society. The trend isn't about skin color. The trend has nothing to do with social classes, the very rich or the very poor. What it has to do with is middle class citizens of the United States and an apparent sense of guilt along with the desire to make someone else pay for it.
The Struggle for Power Is Real But Not What you Think: The trend of Trigger Warnings and Micro-aggression and Anti-Bully campaigns does nothing to address the underlying problems that lead to these trendy terms and phrases. The power struggle is real but it's not what we are being lead to believe. We need to stop creating divisions among the human family, we need to stop creating victims and we need to start owning our own power. A million victims of unintended slights feeding and reinforcing their own fear will lead to hatred among the victims and their supposed oppressors who do so not out of malice but ignorance of the others feelings....which will inevitably led to violence. Our society has become a boiling cauldron. To hopefully keep it from exploding and maybe turn it into a magical love potion we need to understand the underlying issues on the individual level regarding empowerment. I'm going to go over some things that I have shared in the past but I think it's worth understanding this situation from an individual point of view. I really don't care about a group point view. Groups and mobs are made up of individuals who make personal choices to belong to that group. People cannot alter a group but each person has control of their own opinion and lives- that in itself is powerful and enough to change the world. Fear Fear is a survival instinct. There are good types of fear and there are bad types of fear. Good fear causes you to move off the train tracks when you see a train coming towards you. That type of fear is healthy. That's survival. Bad fear is the type is when you project negative ideas onto situations that are otherwise innocent. This type of fear is the irrational type that might prevent people from leaving their homes least they run into someone who is mean. When the bad type of fear, that is based mostly on feelings and emotions, is reinforced- especially in a group setting- it can become amplified and more solidified in the persons mind. Suddenly, they have even more justification to stay home and be frightened of every person that passes by on the street in front of their home. The latter type of fear is being amplified by multiple sources in our society. The media employs it to get more viewers. Conspiracy websites promote it by vilifying one group or the other as being masterminds of exploitation. I have seen more fear in the the last fifteen years in the alternate and mainstream media than ever before and it seems to be reaching a fever pitch. That fear is dividing people in record numbers. The strange thing about fear is that each of us as individuals gives power to it. Once you start feeding your fear it becomes this ever growing monster. Your heart beats faster when you encounter a situation that reminds you of that fear. All of the feelings that you have when that train is barreling down goes through your mind but none of them are physical- they exist solely within the mental construction of the world in our mind. Unlike with the train where you can move a safe distance from the tracks when the fear is a mental issue there doesn't seem to be an easy way to walk away from it. Reconstructing your mental world is not an easy tasks nor is it something that many people realize they can do. In the physical world facing our fear is the only way to discharge the energy. If we are afraid of a cliff we stand on the edge of one until we realize that we are safe. What do you do when the fear is intangible and it's taught to you by society? Further, once you give power to that fear you enter a state of powerlessness. You feel helpless. Your self esteem becomes low. Being motivated is hard because you feel no matter what you do the situation cannot be made better. You enter a dark hole from which you cannot emerge. In fact, your frightened of what you might find if you emerge from that hole which has become 'normal.' Even worse, when you are in a negative state of mind it brings everyone else down. People exchange mental states, if someone is smiling and laughing it's contagious. The same is true of a bad mood. People, without realizing it, tune in to the emotions of other people and match it instinctively. This can have a ripple effect as we transmit this negative damaged state of emotions to other people throughout our day. Fear separates us from others. Our seemingly justifiable fear isolates us from those who do not have that fear. This leads to a break down in communication. Suddenly, we cannot communicate our desires, needs and wants. We isolate ourselves or we join a group of like minded people who also feel wronged where that fear becomes even more amplified until it controls every part of our lives. Then because we no longer feel we can communicate our needs, desires and wants we feel even more powerless and the victim never realizing that other people are not mind readers. Other people can never know how to make us happy if we do not tell them how. Fear, however, is a choice. Self-Empowerment As I said before, when you fear something, you give power to it and over you. You feed it, which takes a lot of energy leaving nothing for the person feeling the fear. All of our energy, all of our personal power, goes into the fear or trying to avoid it. We start to feel empty. We try to fill that emptiness with food, alcohol, drugs, sex, hobbies...whatever we can to make us not feel that horrible sense of powerlessness. We can choose not to be afraid. We can choose to take our power back from fear. Since these non-physical fears are largely in our imagination we can choose to change our approach. We can face our fear, we can study it, we can see if it is justifiable (without other people's input) and we can offer concrete solutions. No, it's not easy to take your power back and realize that you create your own reality. I will go more deeply into how we create our own reality in another post. For now, let's suffice to say that we have control over how to react to every situation in which we are involved. We control the mental construct of the world that we perceive through our various physical filters because we build it meticulously within our own minds as we grow older and encounter new situations. Each of us build, create and live in our very own unique world. I might not be able to control everything that happens to me or that happens around me. I can, however, control how I react to it. Sometimes, there are immediate responses based on how we have been conditioned/trained in early life by our parents, schools and society at large. All of us know social etiquette. We are taught how to respond to certain situations. These rules, for the large part, is what dictates how we behave with others in public spheres. That social etiquette, however, might be wrong. Further, the social etiquette is not he same in every society or culture on Earth leading to some very interesting misunderstandings. Sometimes, we have to learn to overcome what we have been taught and conditioned to believe. Life is an ever evolving process of learning how to deal with new situations and each new situation offers us the opportunity to test and adjust our response. The Bully As A Tape Measure Everyone wants to eliminate the bully. They want to end bullying. They want to end what they see as injustice. We need to protect the weak and bring down the strong. They are missing the point. In fact they are missing a very important life lesson. Bullies are often not born. They are created. That's with every negative type of human behavior. People are not born evil. They are taught evil by society, by their parents and their friends. They are first and foremost victims. So first, you have to understand that a bully has their own story, often they feel as powerless as their victims. They are playing a power game where they are trying to take power from their victim. Bullies create victims who then in turn, make a choice, and become bullies. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. Each time we encounter a bully we can make a choice. We can choose to be afraid of them. We can choose to fight. Bullies do not like defiant people because when you defy them they do not feel empowered. Which makes them more hateful but we'll get to that... If we choose to be afraid of them the bully wins. They get exactly what they want. We can also turn the other cheek. By giving into their demands by choice we do retain our own personal power. They didn't force us, we willingly gave up the thing they wanted by choice because we didn't feel it was worth fighting for. We can also choose to stand up to them. We might end up being beaten up but we know at the end of the day we had the courage to say no. To enforce our personal boundaries and potentially end the bullies reign of terror (when they don't get the fear they want a bully ends up feeling unsatisfied which is usually why they lash out in violence). Here is the thing though, we test ourselves against bullies. They can provide us an accurate measurement of how we are feeling regarding our own personal power. They can show us if we are feeling powerless and most importantly they can teach us how to take back our own power. They can test our boundaries, what we are willing to let happen to us and what we are not willing to let happen to us. When we pass the test and stay true to ourselves we feel great but when we fail and let them dominate us we feel terrible. Out of the three ways we can deal with bullies turning the other cheeks is probably the most noble. I will never cease to admire those who choose to stand up to bullies and fight back, however, because it will make the bully think twice about repeating the same behavior. If the risk is too great to them they will not repeat the behavior. Yet, bullies provide a wonderful tool to test ourselves in every day life. They can accurately demonstrate our mental state and how we are coping with the world. Every time we fear a bully, we know we are in a personal place of dis-empowerment, we can use that and then begin to make adjustments to our approach. We can actually use the situation in which we are bullied to feel empowered. Again, we always have power, we always have choice. We simply choose to let fear control our actions. Bullies also provide wonderful instructive moments for parents with their children. When a child is bullied you can teach them that it has nothing to do with them. You can teach them how to respond to that bully in a self-empowered manner. Further, I don't believe that we will ever completely eliminate bullies from existence. There are so many causes that I'm not sure we can ever completely address them all. However, we can change our response to the term Bully and see it as a very important instructional experience. People only change if they want to change. Often it takes pain as a motivation for them to make that change but that's what we are here on this planet to do...learn, change, experience, and grow. Bullies definitely cause pain and promote change but we decide to make it negative or positive. We assign the definition in our own minds. Victimization There is a strange sense of power in the word victim...a sort of sick twisted justification as to why we feel powerless that can justify insane actions afterward. When I say I am a victim there is a a release from responsibility of making a choice. I'm a victim. The idea of choice was taken away from me and my life has been a nightmare every sense. We tell victims it was not their fault. Of course it wasn't, but we don't tell them that they have the choice to react to the situation in a constructive way. We tell them they should feel sorry for themselves. We tell them things may never be the same often insinuating that it won't get better. We tell them no one will ever understand exactly what they've been through. They are in a deep dark hole and we don't tell them they can ever climb out...because they are a VICTIM. Upon considering ourselves a victim we can disconnect with our humanity. People who consider themselves victims see themselves as powerless. As soon as you assign that term to yourself there is a sort of relief in it. Whatever happened wasn't my fault, it was the perpetrator/aggressors fault. I'm a victim and I need to be defended. Being a victim also leads to a number of other emotions. Hopelessness, fear, rage...and hatred of the perpetrator/aggressor. Further, it suggests that the person that made us a victim needs to pay for what they have done in blood or money. That's why we have to be careful in how we define the term victim. Especially when it is a purely a psychological/mental construct. Then we need to teach people who are victims how they can overcome it and not dwell on what happened. To often we cause people to dwell on the pain to the point where they never overcome it...they don't see that it can be a character building experience in their own life. I will go into how this might work in another blog. The Nazi's felt that they were victims. That is why they were eliminating the Jewish population. They felt the Jewish race had somehow weakened the "Aryan Race". From their perspective it was because of the other groups effect on them that they needed to be eliminated. This is why we cannot empower people to feel like victims. We cannot let people dwell on their powerlessness. Once people go down that path they take as many people with them as they can. Once they have a group of people to justify how they feel they then begin to act out and hurt the people they feel are aggressors. Once a person identifies themselves as a victim that is so violated that they are no longer human beyond all hope they will commit atrocious crimes that they feel are justifiable. After all, they are no longer human...they are victims. This is the cause of terrorism. This is what provokes people to act out in extreme and violent ways. We justify victims to do this, we encourage them to dwell in their powerlessness, we feel we need to protect them in a way that makes their own sense of hopelessness more profound. We cause them to act out violently as a last cry of pain because they are unable to deal with their own mental construct of how they perceive the world. Justice is hard to find when you don't believe it exists and you cannot define or envision what it looks like. The term victim is very dangerous. Conclusions In order to over come the recent rash of people in our society that feel dis-empowered we must educate people about their choices. People must understand that we cannot control everything that happens to us in our lives. However, we can control how we react to situations. We can choose to be the victim and dwell in the darkness of that inhuman violated mental place that inflicts so much harm. We can choose to hate others and blame them for our own mental state. Those with little regard for life will then inevitably harm as many people as they can seeking an ill-defined form of justice. We can choose to turn the other cheek because no major boundary is being violated. We give into the bullies on our terms by our own choice. In this way, we retain our own power but we don't incite violence because we realize that the bully is probably emotionally hurt and identifies themselves as a victim in their own mind. We can choose to fight back. This will reinforce the bullies perspective that they are a victim. This, however, will leave us feeling better because we no longer feel that our boundaries have been violated and we were in no way a victim (unless they beat us unconscious but that's the risk you take right?). Bullies want us to be victims or fight back. This justifies how they feel. They are the ultimate test of our moral and personal self-esteem (empowerment). I don't want them to go away. That's not the answer. The answer is choosing how you react to bullies. Will you rise above? Will you see them as a test? Or will you give into fear and hatred becoming one of them? The battle for power isn't political, racial, or anything else...it's personal. That battle exists within each and every one of us and every day we can test ourselves. We can make a difference by not giving power to fear and hatred. Stop creating victims. Stop being victims. Choose to be human. |
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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