(I love this photo of my dog Apollo at the beach. To me his aura seems apparent!)
As I sat down to write this blog there were a lot of ideas I considered. I have already written most of the blogs that I want to share for the month of December. As we prepare to plunge into the last tumultious month of the year it's always interesting. This year I'm taking my own advice. I'm focusing on what I have and really entering a meditative state instead of the usual anxiety driven state that I usually enter during this month. I appreciate the fact that I can be an example to others during whatever you want to call the process..be it 'becoming', 'ascending', 'spiritual awakening', 'self realization' or 'self-actualization.' All of these are just labels for the same phenomenon. However, yesterday was very interesting and if I follow the signs for this week I realize that it's going to be a week of letting go of old patterns. This week I will be standing in my own authenticity. The Series Of Synchronistic Events Every week I watch Colette Baron-Reid's oracle card reading for the week. I love watching hers because she describes it as a weather report and not a prediction. She pulled the following cards: Round and Round, Chaos and Conflict, Clean it Up, and The Tribe. Then, as she encourages people to do she asked us to pull a card from one of her decks that we own. I own the Wisdom of Avalon Deck by Collette Baron-Reid. Boy, oh boy was I surprise when I pulled the Disruption card. The Card Reads: "This marker warns of a shaky foundation placed on a fault line. At best, this reminds you that shake-ups are neccesary when you need a wake up call. It's a warning for you to be diligent and alert when making decisions. This can also portend a toppling of plans or ideas. or a total destruction of something hard won, worked for, or desired Be reminded that the way of the God/Goddess is one of mystery and chaos, and chaos is the ultimate cleanser. Disruption brings delays and upsets that have a hidden gift of opportunity within them. This is the time to rethink, rebuild, and refortify that which was previously unstable, or it allows you to begin anew. Without this gift, you wouldn't be adequately supported later on, when you'll need it most The greater message reminds you that, in life, all people, places, concepts, are but fleeting on the path to wholeness. Only Spirit is stable and eternal. Such is the Wisdom of Avalon." I know this week is going to be a disruption to my normal schedule. I'm mostly opening which I'm not really looking forward to...I love sleeping in and have been spoiled for the last week by being able to sleep in. I will also be working at a store that I don't normally work at which is always interesting because it takes me out of my comfortable routine. What's interseting is that I pulled a card to clarify and I received Hawk: "When Hawk appears, expect a message to be delivered to you to aid you in your quest. Perhaps a telephone call from a friend will help you solve a mystery, or a chance meeting with someone may solve a riddle. You may literally see writing on a wall or overhear a conversation between strangers that reveals your own answers unexpectedly. You will know it when it happens. Be open to messages from others, and be aware of omens, and signs in nature. The world is constantly attempting to communicate with us, but we human beings have forggoten how to listen. So, remember who you are- an intrinsic part of the Great Mystery of life. Listen and learn. This is the gift of Hawk as he soars int your life from Avalon's skies." My Current Dreams This very much ties in with some interesting dreams I've been having involving water and breaking a boundary. Water always represents the subconscious which is always in tune with spirit. 11/27/17- Dreamt I was in a boat and I had to pierce a bubble that created a false world that I had made. I pierced the bubble and a wave of water washed through the town I'd been in. I saw Angel, my dog, swimming along but she was being sucked into a drain. I pulled her out of the water into my boat, she shook herself dry and sat down. 11/26/17- I dreamt that I was swimming in the ocean but didn't realize it. I held a sword and swam upward. The tip of the sword pierced the top of the ocean first and then I emerged from it sucking in air as I looked around in amazement unsure how I had ended up in the ocean in the first place. 11/24/17- I dreamt I was with two siblings. They wanted to save their brother. We went to a table where their brother was minitaure in size. Maybe two inches tall. He was in a fake graveyard with these fake beings like ghosts that he thought was his tribe including his dead parents. He yelled at his brother and sister that they had abandoned their ways but it was clear he was under the enchantment. The beings he thought were family and friends of the past were just random spirits posing to keep him trapped. We were trying to find a way to end the enchantment. 11/23/17- A dream where I was visualizing a cup with dirty water. A voice told me that I just needed to will the vessel to be clean and it would be...all that was needed was will. Nothing else. The process didn't need to be complicated. 11/22/17- A dream about a baby. I had to solve a riddle so that it would live. Meditation Well, that's the latest batch of dreams. The theme is clear about having to cross some sort of boundary in order to progress on my spiritual path. The baby is more likely what many call the spiritual self. I have backslid a little when it comes to seeing the One Creator/Christ in others. I have been a little petty in the last month and reacting from a very base emotional level. My husband and I are currently trying to get pregnant. I promised him I would give trying to have children myself one more good try. That brings back a lot of emotional baggage I thought was healed. I know, if I do or do not get pregnant, it will be a very transformative healing process. We just started trying this month, and though I thought I was pregnant it just turned out to be raging hormones that were unbalancedafter a year of being off of birth control. I was extremely disappointed becauses I'm so ready to have a definitive answer regarding if I will ever give birth to a child in this life. Naturally, this is bringing a lot of unhealed emotions to the surface from the experience I had with my daughter Lilith-Ann who was born prematurely and I had to decide to take off of life support. I have found it way to easy to slide back into old emotional patterns regarding this situation. When I found out I barely missed working enough hours in October to have insurance in December (when I might have gone on disability if I had gotten pregnant right away) I freaked out. Now, it wasn't as bad as it would have been three to four years ago but it was more then I thought I was capable of experiencing after this years spiritual development. The new baby that I have to solve a riddle to save really seems to suggest that it's this new spiritual approach I've cultivated this year. Choosing to have a baby will test the peace that I have attained and the emotional stabiity that I thought I had achieved. On one level, that peace has remained strong throughout this rocky start to the experience of trying to get pregnant. When faced with the idea that I will not have insurance for at least part of the experience I realized that's okay. I'll survive regardless. We might have to dig deep and work hard to put ourselves back into a good financial position after the child is born but that shouldn't discourage me from trying to have a child. There isn't much I can do with the conditions that I find myself in and, as always, I know the world will continue to turn and everything will work itself out if there are kinks in the process. I cannot, however, account for the hormones that leave me a bit unbalanced. Being a woman can be tough. The only solution I can imagine is to extend my meditation time and perhaps rise early enough to where I can meditate at the start of the day to get into the right peaceful place to approach my day. Why Am I Sharing This? I think it's important to share this part of the path with others. I think all of us struggle and even reach plateaus where it's very tempting to go back to the old conitioned ways of doing things. This is especially true when faced with really difficult challenges in life. I've thought about going back and clearing out blogs that reveal when I was really off balance. When I was really into conspiracy theories and exploring the concept of Armageddon and all of that. However, I think that's an important part of my journey and, although now I don't believe exactly what I say in some of those older posts, I think it might help others to see that my Path is not always easy or straight forward. When it comes to heading into this new experience of trying to get pregnant again and hopefully having a child...I think of Joseph Campbells Hero's Journey. As he states, in a good life we are constantly embarking and finishing that cycle. Each time we go on the Hero's Journey we learn a bit more about ourselves. Already, in this life I feel I've lived the equivalent of four or five lifetimes. It's a constant cycle of completion and reinvention. I know that I am at the cusp of such an event right now. Next year will bring a new stage in my life, , a new state of being and a new set of circumstances. I'm purging the cycle that occured in the last three years and moving on to the next chapter in my life. Right now, the page are blank and filled with potential. This is my favorite state, when things are still just pure potential and pure possibility with no indication of what may or may not happen so I intend to enjoy this moment. Conclusion There are old beliefs and behavorial patterns that I'm working on releasing right now. They are very deep because they come from a very trauamatic time in my life. Perhaps, this is a week where that challenge is met and overcome. I certainly have developed a pattern regarding this situation. The call to remain authentic during the circumstances is very clear. The way forward, it seems, is to ground myself in god-consciousness and approach the situation from that loving perspective. Extra meditation to keep myself grounded and balanced is defintely my goal for this month. Not slipping into a pessimistic state of mind and releasing negative expecations that surround the Christmas subject is my goal. Time spent working on my gratitude journal will also be well spent. A month of reflection on this past year and the cycle that's ending that started in 2013/2014 is defintely welcome in my experience. I enjoy times of reflection and digging into an experience to find what gold I uncovered. Especially, under such challenging circumstances. I love entering into a meditative, reflective and almst hermet like state to appreciate what I've experienced, learned and what I can apply to the scope of my life going forward. I love when synchronicity occurse and the path forward becomes a little bit more clear.
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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