I am writing this partly out of curiosity myself. Listening to Peter Woodbury who does past life regressions for Edgar Cacye's A.R.E. there might be a pattern to my past lives. That I may look at the past and see how the choice than might affect the choice I have made in this life.
Some call it working out Karma, that is the traditional belief of the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. We are stuck in Samsara because something keeps ups here and that is usually Karma. The way that they describe it the experience of living int he flesh is almost detestable to our immortal spirits. I do not intend to insult any religion and I will say here that I absolutely have a deep and profound respect for the Hindu and Buddhist traditions. Their dedication may well be examples of preserving an ancient way of thinking that dates back to the time of Atlantis. I take this interpretation of the experiment of Spirits experiencing the Human Sojurn being a negative thing and that we are 'trapped' in the material experience as being a negative point of view. Also, it is a limited point of view that came about from the period of humanity where we took all of the things that were spiritual as a literal. Humanity as a whole, when they took things literally as to be completely immersed in the experience of Separation. This illusion of Separation, as I have argued in my blogs about the Shift is something that exists in our consciousness. This is what we are coming out of as we remember that we are Spiritual Beings on A Sojurn of Being Human. My Earliest Life This past life recall was from a video regression by Brian Weiss. From what I can tell my earliest life was as a Egyptian in Jerusalem during the time of Yeshua. This is the shortest one that I can remember and it was as though I was actually there. I did not get full details about this life but it was like a direct snippet where I stepped out of this life and into that one. I didn't receive any information about my parents in that life or what type of position that I held. I looked down and I was amazed at how red my skin was! My skin was a very distinct red in a way that I haven't really seen anyone's skin be in real life. I've seen red tones but not this deep red color. I think I was a girl but I'm not certain. I was staring at my hands at amazement. I stood in a small alley way with what looked like walls of sun baked bricks on either side. I was small, I couldn't have been older than ten though I did not know exactly. I looked up to where two men were standing against the wall of a building across from this very narrow ally way I was in. One wore a white strange outfit that looked more like an over sized shirt and the other wore a blue one with what looked a bit like a large scarf around his neck that was also blue. The one in blue had come up to the one in white and was saying something in hushed tones. I think he was asking the man in white a question. The man in blue seemed antsy and uncertain as though checking with the other for direction. The man in white stopped the conversation with the man in blue abruptly as I looked up at him. He had striking bluish green eyes and very white skin for the region. I found myself thinking he must have a lot of Greek blood. I was struck with the realization this man was Yeshua. Then he locked eyes with me, and he seemed to see the me in this time and place that was looking through the Egyptian girls eyes. He silenced his questioning companion and moved as though to approach me. I pulled my consciousness out of that moment as swiftly as I could. Mostly, because I utterly did not want to see a vision of Yeshua. I did know a few other things, as though they were conveyed to me as I pulled back. One was that I had given this man a small doll, that was my most precious and worldly possession. The other thing that I remember is the way I died. I was stoned to death, I leaped off a cliff and broke my neck, because I had been disagreeing with people about what Yeshua had said and what he meant. I got the impression that as soon as he died there was a lot of misinformation and people who were exploiting him for their own benefit. I have not experienced a past life since this one. I was concerned that I had done too many, almost like an addiction, and the 'memories' or past lives were contaminated with my own consciousness in this life. However, I will admit that I never ever imagined Yeshua as being primarily of Greek descent. So, that was a concept very foreign to me and subsequent research has proven that there was a very large Greek presence in that area. Also, I don't think of Greeks as having blue eyes but brown so this was a complete surprise to me. Second Past Life I am not sure when this one takes place. I experienced this one in a dream at a turning point in my life. I was sitting in a tent of some sort with great swaths of fabric draping downward from the top of it. My father was training me to be a caravan leader. Leadership of the caravan had always passed from father to son (I was male in this life). I didn't want to be saddled with the obligations of being stuck with the caravan. The work was dirty and required a lot of monotonous work. I was smoking something from a hookah that I imagine must have been hallucinogenic. (At the time I didn't know what the name of smoking contraption was as it was not popular in 1999 when I had this dream and I have never been part of the drug scene so I have very little understanding of drugs or their history in the Middle East). Contemplating all of this I looked up and into a standing mirror across from me. I was horrified to see that my face was that of a male with dark brown skin, dark curly hair and dark brown eyes. I knew that I was somewhere in the sands of the Sahara. In that dream I gave into my carnal desires and the easy way. I went to the 'northern cities' where I engaged in prostitution and didn't really have any spiritual development. I was entirely immersed in the physical world. I was asked at the end of this dream by no specific entity, "Do you really want to do this again?" At the time I knew this was a past life. I recorded it in my journal but I didn't realize the relevance to my life. At that point I rebelled against my parents and moved out of their house which took me on a very bumpy road where I was distracted by materialism (video games) and ended up with an unpleasent wake up call. Third Past Life There was another one that I was shown when I was talking to my spirit guide at one point. I don't know where I was but I was practicing meditation and was a recluse. More or less like a Buddhist or Hindu monk. I achieved a lot of spiritual knowledge in that life but very little was shown to me. That was the life that I had shared with her and that was the reason I was shown images of that life. I don't think I'm working on anything from that life. Fourth Past Life Now this one was an in person regression with Kim Trottman. I am not certain if this came before or after my dream as the son of a caravan leader. I was a child in a an ally way filled with makeshift homes of homeless children. I had no memory of my parents only the reality of being an orphan. I saw the Crusaders at the end of the ally way. The sunlight glinted off their rounded helmets that had a piece of metal extending down to cover their noses. They wore chain mail with white tunics over them belted at the waste. I'm note sure what city it was but I was in Israel. They terrified me and I watched in horror as they cut down my friends. They were murdering orphan children without hesitating. I pressed back as far into the shadows of the ally way as I could to get away from them fearing that their swords would come down upon me and stayed as still as I could. Fast forward, I am no a part of some sort of group of women that is 'like the Catholic nun's but not nun's." They abstain from relationships with men. I baked the bread which seemed to have some sort of significance. I was a portly woman, with sagging cheeks and I wore a scarf over my hair. I was one of the 'sisters' of this covenant that appeared to be Christian. I was in what appeared to be a circular hut with a fire pit at the center. I smelled of smoke from the fire. I held a child as I stood in the doorway of this hut. The child was a little boy with blond haired and blue eyed. The child was not mine but an orphan, born of rape by a crusader to a woman of the city that was not far from where this little sect lived. The child had been abandoned by the mother who did not want anything to do with it. There was a famine and I knew that I could not feed the child. I knew the child would die and it broke my heart because there was nothing I could do. Fast forward again, I am dying. I lay on a table, I am eighty years old and very frail. Few people lived to that age and the woman, my sisters of this religious sect, surround me. They are giving me the equivalent of a sponge bath with deep reverence. I choose this moment to leave my body. Upon leaving my body Kim asks me if anyone meets me. I tell her no, I know the way home. Fifth Past Life This was from a Brian Weiss video regression. This one starts with me being married. I'm creating a top hat which will go on my husband in his casket. I am crying as I make the hat and contemplate that I will be a single mother. He has been killed in an accident between a motor car and a trolley. I'm in London England. I work at a place that makes fancy hats and I am a hat maker. My husband had worked at a printing press (Ross, my current husband in this life was in that life as well) and had been walking by foot on his way to work when he was pinned between the two machines and died. My impression was that the 'automobile' was rare and that the drive had lost control of an unruly machine (I get the impression that this is in the 1800's later I look up London and find they did indeed have automobiles in the 1890's, in fact early prototypes were being worked on as early as the 1860's which I did not know at the time and there might have been rare unique cars driving around London prior to that). Fast forward, I am dying alone in great pain and I am not very old. I think of my ungrateful daughter, who I have sacrificed much for and who is not even taking care of me on my death bed. She is too concerned with her young children and husband to care about me and I know she holds a great deal of resentment for me because I was a very authoritarian mother. I feel a great deal of regret and loneliness as it seems that while I have been materially successful I died alone of a fever in bed. My Sixth Life This one was an in person past life Regression. I am a child sitting at a table that holds some sort of gambling game. The table is of green felt. The men around me are smoking cigars. I'm in a pretty little dress and sitting on my fathers knee. He adores me. Then men around me are 'uncles' and they are talking about 'business' that I know somehow is not official...more like the mob. My name is Anna. I see my mother as a weak woman that I detest who is always wringing her hands in worry. She worries about me and my fathers 'business' dealings. I am very much a daddy's girl. Flash forward, I am at a warehouse and no more than thirteen. There is a group of men and they are discussing intercepting a shipment at the dock. Obviously, they are a group of young men who are stealing something. They are going over plans. Among them is my pseudo boyfriend. We spend time in 'closets drinking liquor.' I am a teenager and this must be during prohibition. I know that I have been forbidden by my father from being with this men that the other people call "Peacock" because he likes to dress in a white suit which stands out in what is otherwise a middle class neighborhood and he's a 'pretty boy.' Other people resent him and look at him as powerful figure in the neighborhood were from. Flash forward again, now I'm on the docks. The boys are getting the shipment of whatever it is that they are stealing. I am in a different part of the docks, told to stay back so that if anything does happen and they are caught I am safe. Yet, there is a young street urchin. I am aware of his feelings an motivations as he stabs me. He stabs me multiple times in the abdomen. He's doing this because it's a way to strike out at the Peacock indirectly, to put his ego in check, because this younger kid feels helpless and powerless. When I'm found by the group of boys I am bleeding out. They don't want to call the police in case they ask questions and connect them with the loot they stole. They choose the loot over my life. They hope they can get up and walk or that they can get me away from the dock and somewhere else but I pass out. Deciding that I am dead they throw me in the ocean. I wake up when I hit the water but I am too weak to swim. I drown. My spirit stays around the body that has washed up into the shallow part of water knocking into the dock upon which I died. The body is found. Photos are taken and evidence is collected. I have very pale white skin and short brunette hair. I stay around for my big lavish funeral. Conclusion There are a couple of conclusions or patterns I can see in these lives. First, I have a tendency towards rebellion. In both the caravan son's life and the prohibition life I rebelled against my parents (as I did in this life) and chose a life of what lawlessness and indulging in physical pleasures (drinking, drugs and apparent prostitution). I lead two lives of sacrifice with two very different results. In the one when I was in service to others I died surrounded by people who cared for me and in the other my own daughter was not there. The obvious difference is that in the life as a spiritual person I was giving to others while in the other I seemed to care only about meeting monetary needs in order to take care of myself and my daughter. Also, the death of a person in two lives (the baby in the life during the Crusades in Israel and the death of a husband in London) served as a catalyst. In one it made me realize the sacrifice I had made in choosing not to have a family when the baby died. In the other, it was the realization that I had to do things alone which lead to me being very bitter. I can see why Spirit would choose the contrast of the life as a woman that belonged to a Christian sect with the life of a rebellions teenager involved in crime. Obviously, there are two extremes here. The first is choosing to live a life of self-indulgence and obtaining material success. The other is a life of service to others which turned out to be more rewarding. The direct impression I get (as with these memories it is a series of impressions, feelings and generally simply 'knowing' how my soul felt about these experiences as opposed to no exposition) is that from my souls perspective the lives where I gave into self-indulgence and material wealth were disappointing. Very little spiritual growth were obtained in those lives, indeed in the London life my soul was very sad because there was so much focus on material survival that there was very little soul growth. So in three of the five lives I can recall (the first one I cannot recall much besides seeing Yeshua which shocked me back into the here and now) I did not do so well. The life that my soul was the most proud of his the least attractive of the lives from a person's stand point in the physical world. That was the life of the "Nun who was not a nun." In that one, I had dedicated my life to service to others and had very little possessions. However, I had recovered from what was a horrific childhood and instead of being bitter I was very giving. Another staggering aspect of these readings is that, at least in the last two lives, there was very little time in between them. I do not know when I died in the London life. Clearly, to be in my teens by the time of prohibition (1920-1933) there was not much time in between these lives. Usually, there is quite a bit of time between the lives of the soul. I can't remember where I got the information but at the start of incarnating there was usually about 50-100 years before a soul would incarnate again. However, according to this source I can't recall, in recent years, at least since the middle of the 1800's there have been souls reincarnating faster with very little time between lives. Sometimes just a span of a couple of years! Looking at these past lives I am humbled. I clearly chose challenging assignments in those lives. I had intentions as a soul for those lives (in the prohibition life I came out saying, "That wasn't supposed to happen!" when I was murdered as though my soul was completely taken by surprise and confused. In the Caravan's Son life I knew that my soul had hoped that I would choose to stay and become the leader of the Caravan as my father in that life wanted). I also have a sense for what the Soul considers valuable experiences as opposed to what here, in this plane of existence, we say is important. The soul doesn't really care about material possessions and the lives of service- either as the Israel Crusade life or that of a Caravan leader had I chosen the route my soul had hoped to take in that life- were of more value. The implications are vast. Maybe we are rebellious souls that decided to go a tough route in order to temper ourselves in the fire of human experience for our spiritual evolution. The emphasis that keeping to the laws, of service to others and honoring our elders, in particular seems to be behavior we want to portray when incarnated. For me, the experience is fascinating because in the 'mind set' of the soul which I glimpsed when surveying these past lives is so much more vast than that little bit of conscious energy that we put into our physical bodies. In fact, it seems surprised by the choices made while in physical form as though it has no idea that those choices would even be considered. Also, I received the definite impression that each life is planned but because of free will in the human form and that sense of separation even from our higher self those lives don't always go according to the plan that the soul made prior to incarnating.
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Soul Lessons
Alright, we moved through the lessons on Soul Perspective that I have found to be the most profound. I have decided to go deeper into the Hero's Journey but as I said before, all of us who come to Earth are performing the Hero's Journey. We are all hero's. Luckily, as I said, I'm distilling knowledge I have soaked in over twenty years of spiritual seeking. Hopefully these bite sized bits are providing perspective and a succulent feast for the spiritual seeker. Even now as I embark on the journey of sharing this knowledge even more mind blowing concepts are flowering before me in a way I can't quite comprehend. I believe we come here and we learn many lessons. The depth and breadth of our experiences are one of the reasons Earth is an amazing school. Not only do we learn lessons while we are here we have the ability to actually apply those lessons in such a concentrated form we become steeped in them. Much like brewing a good tea it takes time and patience to reach the appropriate level of flavor we want to achieve. The next series of blog posts are going to be some of those lessons that I am in the process of learning or have learned that were really difficult. I will deviate a little on a new concept that I am incredibly excited about. I'm hoping to illuminate and provide that silver lining for not so positive experiences. One of the most powerful tools I've learned in the group experience is the sharing of similar circumstances and different ways to learn from them. External validation and appreciation can be incredibly healing even if we go through terrible traumatic experiences that leave behind psychological scars. Also, learning to look at circumstances that we have experienced with a different perspective can also lead to acceptance, self-forgiveness and healing. Reading about them, as opposed to experiencing them, does give one knowledge but it's only when we really apply spiritual teachings to our every day life and experiences that we see the real value. Spirituality is not something that is 'out there' that happens to other people, it is the essence of that which we consider ourselves and it's something we should work with in a cohesive balance. A Challenge I honestly believe that many of the topics I have discussed and will continue to discuss were concepts originally taught by Jesus. I think that he was a teacher that was trying to explain to people how things work on a spiritual level. My own spiritual challenge is sharing these ideas with others. The fear of being rejected for my beliefs, since most of the people I know are predominately Christian is very real. I do not want to offend anyone, hurt anyone's feelings or be called crazy for these ideas. Past Life Memory There is an even greater fear regarding this topics as in one of my lives I was stoned to death because I did not agree with the spiritual beliefs of a group. In that life, I was a child in Jerusalem when Yeshua (Jesus) was crucified. I was looking at my hands amazed at how red they were when I realized that I was primarily of Egyptian descent. As with all past lives I only remember the snippets my soul sees as important. Then I looked up and I saw Yeshua reassuring one of his disciples and my thought was that he was of mixed descent with a good helping of Greek (which is very possibly historically valid as Greeks were in Israel in those days). As my eyes met his the conversation he was having abruptly stopped as he hushed his disciple. He turned to look at me, this young girl, and could, somehow, sense that I was looking at him through the eyes of that child. He looked as startled as I felt. That scared the holy living crap out of me. That's where the memory ended, save the last wisp of thought regarding a painful death by stoning when I was a teenager a few years later. I had disagreed with the group of Yeshua's followers. Within less than a decade they had already changed the teachings so much that I disagreed with them. For publicly disagreeing with them, they stoned me to death at the very place he was crucified called Golgotha, the edge of which I leaped from and broke my neck which was a mercy to the pain of the stoning. I had an image of a the skull shaped hill in my head as I came out of this past life memory and when I researched it I discovered it was a real place and that many believe that Yeshua was crucified there. The place is called Golgotha. Being Limited Sharing this past life memory is profoundly difficult for me. First, I did not expect to even remotely see someone I viewed as a historically important person let alone Yeshua. To me it almost devalued the experience because it could possibly mean my current belief system had created the experience in an abstract form of wishful thinking. Also, I have toyed with the idea over the last few years Second, it eluded to things that went against assumptions I had about Israel during the life of Yeshua including that they were in a sort of cultural vacuum instead of a place filled with a lively melting pot of people. Could Yeshua have really been of mixed descent that included Greek? Was there a population of Egyptian descent in Jerusalem? Were there disagreements in the 'first churches' politics and possibly even a change in the ideas they taught? I embarked on an incredible journey of research that I will share but the answer is yes to all of these questions I had. Everything suggested that past life recall is plausible history. Third, the idea that he could see me in real time, the me from this time and place, through the eyes of that child was incredibly shocking. I tend to have a bit of complex of being unworthy. We are taught so much that only a blessed few are worthy that I really questioned why someone like me, not some devout Catholic or some such, would ever have the experience of looking upon the face of Yeshua. So, I do question that as another form of wishful thinking or demented psychological god complex. Conclusions I do believe that we have mental echos of past lives in our current lives and even fears carried over from past lives. Once burned it's hard not to be afraid of fire. That same association can be carried over into the current life. In a past life I stood up for what I believed in, what I believed were the true teachings of Yeshua, this idea was something that was different from the group and I died an abrupt painful death. Now, as I write this there is a bit of me that is terrified with sharing this information least someone decide that I must be silenced again. Yet, my motivation stems not only from quantifying these beliefs in a solid form (in effect grounding the nebulous ideas of my own mind into writing) but to help alleviate the great sorrow I see upon so many these days. There is so much suffering, sorrow and confusion that I feel the desire to serve others in whatever way I can to help ease that pain. If it means my death in some way so may it be but if I can in anyway illuminate the darkness of this age I find it a worthy venture. On this note, I will share my favorite bible quote which hints that Jesus lived his life as a true leader should, as an example to others to follow: Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." P.S. Matthew is my favorite book of the bible and it is the closest of the entire New Testament to what he actually taught. |
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Thank You For Visiting
Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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