I know! I know!
Yes, two weeks in a row I'm writing dream blogs about two different major dreams. Yes, I could sit down and write a review of a couple of books that I have read but this one is just timely with the fact I will be publishing the YouTube video on the Sacral/Navel Chakra this week for my YouTube video. This ties in so well and it's so surprising at the same time. Have you ever wondered what your specific life's purpose is? Have you ever wondered why you came to Earth in this life? Reincanration puts a different spin on this thought, making it less of a dramatic universal mission that affects all of humanity, and more about personal lessons learned gradually over many lives. Pregnancy dreams are known to be poignant. I, however, decided to throw into the mix a internet past life regression filmed by Brian Weiss that I had used with success before...I was trying to figure out why on earth I would choose to have an older sister that has absolutely despised me my entire life. Of course, this is a thought only a person who believes in Life Plans and Reincarnation would consider. I knew that I haven't done anything to her in this life to cause the animosity she has famously shown me since I was in the womb. The session didn't answer my questions, all I saw was two women- one in blue and one in tan wearing head scarves working on laying a brightly colored mosaic into a limestone floor...and nothing else which is odd. However, what happens when you open the door to this information in any way is that besides the regression you usually experience dreams as a result. Why Share Dream Blogs? As many of you probably know they are not my favorite but this one is going to be a little different. You might be sitting there thinking, "This is great for you but what does knowing about this do for me?" I hope to demonstrate how successfully interpert your dreams. I cannot recommend Kevin Todeshi's books on dreams enough because for me reading his book was a tremendous breakthrough. Yet, I know not everyone will take the time to read a book...a fairly short blog should do a good job of giving examples. Plus, it shows the very rich answers you can receive if you cultivate your dreams. On the eve of becoming a mother at 35, which is late by most standards, but fairly certain that it's going to happen this time, I've been full of uncertainty, doubt and a little fear. My husband has laughed this off saying that if some people we know can do it we should be able to do it...but this fear exists for me nevertheless. Can I be a good mother after the readjustment I had to make in order to be more selfish then I was as a child? Being a mother has been such a cherished dream for so long...originally I said I wouldn't after 25...then it became 30 and now here I am at 35. Somewhere along this path I did lose hope. I trudged onward hoping for a new day but accepting the outcome that I may never experience motherhood in this life. So there you have it...what I was thinking before the dream which is always important. Was there a question that you were asking in your heart of hearts? Are there questions troubling your soul? To properly interpert a dream you must take this into consideration. The Dream I was watching a woman with very large Oracle cards giving someone I consider a Spiritual Teacher a reading. The cards were laid down in a upside down double N pattern. First it was 7 cards descending, 7 cards ascending, then 7 more descending, and 7 ascending. Every 7 cards were a 'choice point'- a point where the person receiving the reading would make a choice that would determine the next leg of their Path. If you add up the ones she sat down it would be 28. She explained as she laid out the cards that in past lives the person hadn't really learned how to give and receive love. That in this life the goal was to figure out that balance between giving and receiving. She was about to lay down 7 more cards, which she explained was the next phase of this person's life, when I interrupted the reading because I saw that there was a choice point that she had missed that had occurred around the second to the last of the cards- the number 27. In that set of 7 cards there were actually two choice points which was unusual. She had three more sets of 7 cards to lay out. However, when I, in ghost form, corrected her she admitted she had made a mistake. She did not finish reading the rest of these cards but turned to this person and pulled a card out of the person's abdoman...seemingly out of their jacket pocket. She explained that there was too much of a tendency to form attachements to spiritual teachers and that those attachments would have to be cut. To do so, she explained as a string that attached the card to the person traveled up their body as she attempted to remove it... they would have to let go of their hat which was in the form of a popes hat. Then she showed him the card which was a person standing in front of tower with a devil on one side and a saint on the other. She explained that the the meaning was that they, through these attachements or lack there of, would make themselves into a devil or a saint. A Few Pointers On The Interpertation 1. The Spiritual Teacher is an aspect of myself not the specific person I have left unnamed. Instead, it was that part of myself that considers myself a spiritual teacher. Which I have admitted is something I've kind of become through my blog and YouTube videos. Not that I wanted to but because it just sort of happened that way...beleive me I've uncovered that's just a normal development on the mystic path. You have to teach what you learn for others instead of keeping it for yourself. Also, my lifepath number is 32/5 which correlates with the Hierophant in the Tarot...which depicts a religious leader that appears much like the pope with two 'worshippers'. 2. The cycles of 7 cards- There is a common saying that our life evolves in cycles of 7. In fact, in Charting Your Course Francesa Simon has been teaching about cycles. There is an entire example of this in The Path of the Kabbalah, "There are 7 days in the week, 7 notes on the musical scale and 7 directions (left, right, up, down, forward, back and center)." 3. The Significance of Number 27- at 27 I made a huge life changing decision and moved in with my husband Ross. I am currently at the end of that cycle and at the start of a new one just like the cards indicated- now that I'm 35. Within that same 7 year period...at 23 I had left the ex and moved in with my parents so this reading was very much about me. 4. Three more sets of cards: The fact that there were three more sets of cards in the dream is interesting...but I in no way believe that means I'll die at 56. More then likely it means that this lesson of giving and receiving love will be completed at that time but I have at least three more 'choice points' ahead of me to determine if that will be the case. 3. The part about choice points is fascinating. These are decesions, or one might call them tests or trials, to see if I've learned the lesson. The choices are not right or wrong but I got the feeling that if I chose the option indicating that I had found a balance of giving and receiving love that particular lesson will be completed. I have never heard of such things before in my reading but it seems plausable...usually, the more weird details there are the more likely the dream has deep meaning. To me it's always a pleasent surprise when there is a profound insight revealed in a dream I never consciously considered. 4. Forming Attachements to Outcomes in the material world is very much based on Buddhist teachings. That's called entanglement and it's one of the ways we incur karma which will ensure that we come back again. A huge part of the manifestation process is to let go of the outcome...set an expectation...and the let it unfold naturally on it's own. 5. The giving and receiving is very much a Sacral Chakra issue. I'm doing a video on the Sacral Chakra this week and didn't really know what to write about. This Chakra is not focused on by most people who write about Chakras. When I went to see that past life regressionist back in 2014 my sacral chakra was dormant. 5. The parth aboug giving Birth to a Saint or a Devil based on my ability to let go of the attachment. Here, there is a double meaning represented by the aspect of the spiritual teacher in the dream. I believe the primary message is that I tend to become 'attached' to a particular spiritual teacher and there path, very much wishing it was my own, and often that gives rise to confusion in me. Not to mention I feel hurt when these people inevitably let me down by saying something I don't agree with...which happens often and I know I do too because as long as we are in the flesh we make mistakes. If we were really prefected we would no longer be on this physical plane of existence. Second, the meaning is that I need to let go of my attachment to *be* a spiritual teacher. Lessons In Giving and Receivig The first part of my childhood was spent people pleasing...being the teacher's pet and the one who went out of my way to make sure new students felt welcomed. The second part of my child hood was experiecing bullying and being the outsider. I never learned how to defend myself in an approrpiate way. When a math teacher in high school bullied me along with other students I didn't say anythig but simply walked out of the class and sat down outside. I had been taught to walk away from arguments...I hadn't learned how to fight back. Then as a young adult I had to overcome the stigma of divorcing a horrible person I never loved and never should have married. The first boy I married was horribly broken when I met him and for some reason I thought I could save him with love (not true, that's where I learned the brutal lesson that someone won't change unless they want to change and enabling bad behavior by giving them everything they want will only reinforce the bad behavior). Again, I was a door mat in the relationship...always giving and askig for nothing in return. Then when I did meet the love of my life, after a brief stint of self-exploriation and work, I fell right back into the same old habits of people pleasing. I even put my spiritual interests and hobbies on hold...although, when I first met him I laid them all out on the line and told him exactly how I felt...and he accepted them, although, he politely disagreed with my conclusions (he used to identify as an Athiest) That's how I wound up in a situation where I felt utterly alone and unsupported as I knew something was wrong with my pregnancy but no one else took me seriously. Being vulnerable and asking for help was not something I was comfortable with and, apparently, my attempt to do so was not loud enough. The first part of my life was a brutal training session on how to stand up for myself, state openly how I feel and be prepared to defend myself or adapt points of view when appropriate. If one of the lessons that we come to Earth to experience is how to get along with others (which sure seems to be the case) relationships are the fertile ground upon which we learn the most poignant lessons in the most loving way possible. I am blessed withn an amazingly adaptive loving husband who sees me as a partner and equal. Though he had lessons of his own- he grew with me. We were lucky we grew together and not apart in our harsh lessons with and after Lilith-Ann's short stay on Earth. This is the polar opposite of what I experienced with the ex when he had cancer...he decided to punish me for his misfortune and the fact he survived. I can happily say that I did not behave in such a selfish manner with my husband with Lilith-Ann's death. When I saw psychic Medium Robert Brown, back in 2014, I was shocked when the message that came through was not one I felt was very compassionate. I thought there would be a message about everything is going to be okay now or something. Instead, it was my grandmother Alta who was a pacifist herself saying, "You need to stand up for yourself. If someone pushes you, you push them back harder!" I had always been a pacifist, isn't that what the bible preaches? The answer is no, that's not what the bible preaches. That is not the way to lead a happy life. Too often that translates as passive aggressiveness which is super unhealthy. Honest conversation where you state your desires or disappointments is the healthiest relationship...even if you are fearful the other person might reject you it is far superior to repressing emotions and letting others either control you or trying to control another through emotional blackmail and manipulation. I remember one time at a drive thru where I worked two snowboarder guys came through that were high as a kite. I tried to be nice to them. They were rude and threatened those of us, mostly girls, who were working. When I told my manager Wayne, he told me, "Don't tolerate that, you have the right to refuse and abusive person service. The moment they start cussing at you...that's it- pull the plug. What are you going to do? When they are choking you to death are you going to say, yes, please kill me?" Sadly, some idiots in the United States would say, "Make the customer happy," but I digress...and unfortunately it's a gray area when a customer doesn't cuss or threaten but behaves aggressively. That was, for me, the first time someone told me that being a pacifist is not the right way to go about things. There are people out there that are little more then animals and facing them down is like facing down an angry wounded bull. So, that was the first major lesson in the earlier part of my life of giving and receiving...it's ok to be selfish and protective...to not be a doormat and give unceasingly until your spiritually spent especailly to those who don't deserve it. The Kids Raising kids is going to be difficult for me on a soul level. As far as the past lives I can remember goes...I only had a child once. That time was in London and it did not go well. I died a mean old resentful woman alone in a nice house thinking of her ungrateful daughter. A single mother in the late 1800's I had sacrificed myself, working my ass off to provide for her, as a single mother and she couldn't even honor me by being at my side during my death. The soul that was my daughter in that life is my mother in this life...and damn has that relationship been hard! She was my father and the owner of a Caravan in the Middle East in a life prior to that where she wanted me to take over the family business and I ran off to make a lot of bad decisions. So, you can see how the karma worked there. We switched rolls...me being the ungrateful son in the middle eastern Muslim life and then her being the ungrateful daughter in the London life. In this life, that karma has been paid off. She still hurts, I know, but I feel the weight of our karmic bond has been lifted. There was this huge debt I always felt I owed her and in recent years that has disappered. The other time in a past life that I had a kid in my charge was in Jerusalem when I was a nun but not a nun (don't ask me what that means) during the crusades and I had no way of feeding the baby during a famine...so the baby died. That was Lilith-Ann and you can see how in that life she passed away because I didn't do enough to save her and in this life she passed away because I didn't fight hard enough to save her. I cannot express the love I have for that soul and the wonder as to why it would repeat such tough experiences. In that life, that was the deepest form of bond I had with anyone as it was mostly a life of scarcity and sacrifice. I died adored by the fellow women of my 'church' and I had some peace but I really hadn't experienced love. Based on what I know of my past lives then...I haven't been a stellar mom. I haven't done very well giving and receiving love. Which should be interesting and challenging in this life. Knowing that I am a little nervous about being a mother. I know most people wouldn't approach it from that position but that's me. I'm a little different. Conclusion The idea of giving and receiving love being my major lesson in this life is perfect. I can see why that would be my life lesson this time around...I can see how it ties into my past and into my future. I can see how that was a major component of past lives...where I really didn't exchange love. In my life in the middle east, in Jerusalem and in London I was too busy pursuing other goals. In the middle east and London it was all about securing financial wealth. In Jerusalem it was the misguided idea that I was securing a place in heaven at the cost of my humanity. A huge part of giving and receiving love in this life has been learnng how to convey emotions and needs- which is not an easy feat. The easier path is to pursue pleasure of the flesh- sex, drugs, and alcohol- or to throw oneself entirely into a displine or role- be it a business manager, a mother or a nun- without working on those icky Shadow issues. I find this fascinating...as learning how to express and understand the reason for emotions was a major stumbling block in my early childhood. Emotions are our direct link to our spiritual aspect...our subconscious...our Higher Self. When we cut them off and try not to feel them we lose our connection to the Cosmos. Well, I thank you for reading this...as I said I found that dream fascinatinig and actually very reassuring. I find it so strange that I can receive such strong answers to help guide me. The key thing is that I ask for help! For me, it gave me an answers I needed. In another synchronicity, having to do with that spiritual teacher from the dream, there was a statement made that sometimes people, especially siblings, play the role of antagonist in your life simply so that you learn it's okay to cut ties with toxic people. Sometimes, that's the lesson and role they have agreed to play in your life. Should I worry about my carreer in this life? The answer is overwhelmingly no...that's not my purpse. Gosh knows I've wasted too many lives in the past on that ambition. Overwhelmingly, this indicates to me what I wanted to know most...what I wanted to make sure for certain was ok because I feel it's super selfish. That it is okay if I become a stay at home mom. That it would be in my best interest and in my childrens interest to focus on raising them. My husband and my kids will be my utmost priority. I will settle into the domestic life. No matter who tells me, "You're capable of so much more," as if that's a problem or try to push me into being a leader somehow...my family will be my focus. Yes, I'm a capable leader. I've proven that in past lives where I ran businesses, a bit too ruthlessly, but nevertheless they were successful...in this life it's more about the intiate relationships which can be so much harder. I hope to raise good kids. At the same time I see having kids totally different then the typeical Christian. I did not create them. There soul has been here before and they are equal to me...they could have been in any sort of relationship with me or Ross in their past lives. They come in for their own purposes and have their own free will that is independent of mine. That soul then, is completely independent from Day 1...and has it's own choices to make. I am merely a way shower, a teacher, and a guide...but I will not be attached or value myself based on thier success or failure as people. I think there is a lot to be said on that topic and maybe that will be a future blog post.
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Brave Soul! May Your Journey On The Path Of The Seeker Bring You Joy and Peace! I'm currently posting every Saturday. With a new addition the family I have pre-scheduled most posts through December 2022. Full Moon Posts will contain up-to-date content when I can get to them. Thank you so much for your support and understanding! This is a place where you can encounter new spiritual ideas that have helped me develop as an Individual On The Path of the Seeker. Take or Leave this information as you see fit. Archives
April 2024
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